Indlela yokulibala i-manipulator ye-narcissistic? 5 Iingcebiso

Xa usebudlelwaneni ne-narcissistic manipulator, yonke into ijikeleza kubo. Kuyabhida kwaye kuyadinisa. Ngenye imini, ugqiba kwelokuba uhambe. Ngelixa eli lixesha elinomdla xa uhamba kwicala elilungileyo, kukho ixesha lohlengahlengiso olunzima kwangoko emva kokuqhekeka kunye ne-narcissist.
Ukukuphatha njengenkunkuma akuthethi ukuba kulula ukumlahla. Olu hlobo loqhawulo-mtshato ludla ngokuba lolona lunzima kakhulu ukuloyisa. Ke nantsi indlela yokulibala i-narcissistic manipulator, kube kanye.

Ungayilibala njani i-narcissistic manipulator? Iingcebiso ze-5

Kunokuba nzima ukulibala i-narcissistic manipulator, kodwa iingcebiso ezingezantsi zinokunceda:

1. Misa ukulungisa

Kuphantse ukuba akunakwenzeka ukuzama ukuba nobudlelwane kunye ne-narcissist. Ke uchithe ixesha elininzi uhlalutya indlela aziphatha ngayo kunye nomlingiswa wakhe ukuzama ukuqonda iibhola zegophe eqhubeka ephosa indlela yakho. Emva kokuba ushiye ubudlelwane bakho obuxhaphazayo, le ndlela yokuhlalutya iya kuqhubeka de uyinyanzele ukuba iyeke.

Ngalo lonke ixesha ucinga ngento engalunganga nge ex yakho, zikhumbuze ukuba awusenaxhala laloo mntu kwaye ngobubele ukhuthaze ingqondo yakho ukuba icinge ngenye into. Yenza kwakhona kwaye kwakhona. Uninzi lweengcali zithi kuthatha iinyanga ezintathu ukutshintsha umkhwa.

2. Kuphephe ukuzama ukuthethelela ukuziphatha kwabo

Ukuze udlule kuyo yonke loo nto, kwafuneka wenze izizathu zokuziphatha kwakhe, unciphise ukuxhatshazwa kwakhe, uphinde uchaze ubuxoki bakhe, kunye ne-tiptoe malunga neenkohliso zakhe, ukuze ugcine uxolo kwaye ulungele ukuhlala naye. Xa ubakhumbula ngoku-kwaye uya-uya kuqalisa ukulungelelanisa kwakhona, uzixelele, “Owu, ababi kangako.”

Musa ukuwa ngenxa yoko. Gcina uzikhumbuze ukuba kutheni ushiye ukuze uphephe ukuphathwa yi-ex yakho ye-narcissistic okanye, okubi kakhulu, ukugqiba ukuthandana nabo kwakhona.

Eyona ndlela ingcono yokufezekisa oku kukugcina unxibelelwano lwe-zero. Musa ukufowuna, musa ukuthumela imiyalezo, kwaye umthintele kwimidiya yoluntu. Kukho isizathu sokuba akukho mgaqo woqhagamshelwano unikwe iingcebiso ngobuninzi beengcali.

3. Fumana iindlela zokumelana nexhala lakho

I-narcissist yakho mhlawumbi ikugcine emphethweni iinyanga okanye iminyaka, kwaye inkqubo yakho ye-nervous mhlawumbi isasebenza ngaloo ndlela. Ukuhamba kunokubangela uxinzelelo olutsha okanye uloyiko, okwenza uxhalabe lwakho lube mbi ngakumbi. Ngaphezulu kwayo yonke loo nto, isondo siyeke, kwaye awusenayo i-dopamine kunye ne-oxytocin eyanceda ukugcina intloko yakho phezu kwamanzi.

Phefumla kancinci nangokunzulu, yenza i-yoga, umdaniso, ukuqubha kunye nezinye iintlobo zomthambo. Yenza into yonke imihla, nanini na ufuna.

4. Zigcine uxakekile ukulibala i-narcissistic pervert

Ne ii-manipulators ze-narcissistic, ubudlelwane buhlala bumalunga namandla. Banayo, awunayo. Uphuma kwindlela yakho yokuzama ukwenza yonke into ibe yesiqhelo, kodwa awuze ufike apho kuba bafuna ukuba uqhubeke uxukuxa, ukuze batsale ikhonkco lakho nanini na xa beziva bethanda.

Oko kuvakala kungathandeki ngokwenene, kwaye kwakunjalo, kodwa kwakuzalisa ixesha. Ngoku akukho mntu wenza oku, kukho isithuba esikhulu kwimihla yakho. Ubomi abusamnandi kangako.

Ukuhlangabezana nale meko, qhubeka uzama izinto ezintsha kunye nemisebenzi, kwaye wenze umgudu wokuhlala uqhagamshelana nabahlobo bakho kangangoko kunokwenzeka. Ngelixa uhlala ekhaya, camngca ukuzola ingqondo yakho. Yazi ukuba akufuneki usoloko ujonge ukuzaliseka ngaphandle; ungayifumana ngaphakathi kuwe.

5. Sukuzibeka ityala

Ngoku ukuba ungabona ngokucacileyo ex yakho ngenxa manipulator narcissistic waye kwaye uqaphele indlela engempilo le iipateni uthathe inxaxheba kulo lonke eli xesha, mhlawumbi uzive uneentloni ngokuvumela uboya butsalwe phezu kwamehlo akho ixesha elide. Usenokuba uyazibuza ukuba kwakunokwenzeka njani ukuba ‘ungabi nangqondo’ ngolo hlobo, “usisidenge,” okanye “ukhohlisekile”? Usenokuziva uneentloni ngakumbi xa ukunye namalungu entsapho okanye abahlobo ababesazi kwakudala ngaphambi kokuba wenze oko.

Zenzele inceba. Ii-manipulators ze-Narcissistic ziingcali ekulukuhliseni (Umlukuhli ogwenxa), kwaye ungumntu nje. Usenokuba neengxaki ukuxhomekeka kunye nokuzithemba ukuba kuya kufuneka uhlole xa ukwindawo engcono, kodwa okwangoku, zixolele.

Yazi ukuba ubumsulwa bakho yinto entle. Kuthetha ukuba unentliziyo evulekileyo nethembekileyo, eyingxaki kwi-narcissistic, iqabane lakho elikhohlisayo.

6 Ukuziphatha umxhaphazi we-narcissistic akwenzayo xa uthatha isigqibo sokumshiya

Nazi iindlela zokuziphatha ze-narcissistic manipulator xa uthatha isigqibo sokumshiya:

1. Ukukhanyela kunye nokuxhatshazwa

Xa uthatha isigqibo sokuqhawula onke amaqhina kwaye ulibale malunga ne-manipulator ye-narcissistic, ngokuqinisekileyo ubaxelela, “Awubalulekanga kum, kwaye awuyi kufumana ingqalelo kum.” Le yinto i-narcissistic manipulator ayikwazi ukuyamkela. Ke ngoko, uya kuyigatya imida yakho (njengoko ebenzile ngaphambili) kwaye ayihoye ngokupheleleyo into yokuba ungahambi. Indlela yodwa yokulwa nale nto kukuyomeleza ngokungadibanisi nabo kwaye ubathintele kuzo zonke iindlela zonxibelelwano ezinokwenzeka.

2. Ukuphelelwa Lithemba Kuyavela

Phantse kuzo zonke iimeko, i-manipulator ye-narcissistic engenanto yokunxibelelana nawe ixhomekeke kwibhombu yothando kunye nemizamo enqwenelayo yokuphumelela ukuba ufumane ubungakanani bengqwalasela kuwe asele eyiqhelile. Ukuba uyazibuza ukuba ngaba bayakukhumbula, bayakwenza, kodwa kungekhona ngendlela ephilileyo. Bafuna idosi yabo yokudumisa, uthando kunye nokuncoma umva, hayi wena. Babethandana nengcamango yokunconywa, kungekhona wena. Lubudlelwane abalahlekileyo, hayi wena.

3. Umsindo wobundlobongela

Kuzo zonke izinto ezenziwa ngama-manipulative narcissists xa ubashiya, le isenokuba yeyona ibeka emngciphekweni ukhuseleko lwakho kakhulu. Qinisekisa ukuba umntu onokumthemba uyaziswa ngale meko, ukuze ube nomntu othembele kuye xa kuyimfuneko. Ukungaqhagamshelani kunye nokulibala malunga ne-narcissistic manipulator kunokukubeka emngciphekweni, ngakumbi kuba kulindeleke ukuba babonakale kwindawo osebenza kuyo. Zilungiselele okubi kakhulu, qiniseka ukuba unayo impendulo elungile.

4. Ukuzixhaphaza

Ukuze ufumane uvelwano lwakho kunye nolwabanye, ii-narcissists ezikhohlisayo zihlala zithatha iindlela zokuziphatha kunye neendlela ezibaxhaphazayo. Bayila iimeko ezingxamisekileyo ukuze bafumane uvelwano lwakho. Eli liqhinga eliqhelekileyo elisetyenziswa ngabaxhaphazi benkohliso ukukuhendela ukuba ubuyele kubudlelwane babo.

Njengoko besitshilo, impendulo yee-manipulators ze-narcissistic kungabikho mida yonxibelelwano kwityhefu. Kwiimeko ezinjalo, kubalulekile ukwazi ukuba kulungile ukuba ungaphenduli xa esenza izinto ezingxamisekileyo okanye amabango okudinga. Nangona kulula ukuqonda ukuba uvelwano lunokubangela ukuba uqhawule unxibelelwano, ii-narcissists zihlala zixhaphaza obu buchule ukukuhenda. Uvelwano lwalungeyiyo le nto babeyifuna ekuqaleni.

5. Ukuphatha kunye nokukhanya kwegesi

Pha ukuphatha kwaye i gaslighting ngamaqhinga aqhelekileyo oya kudibana nawo xa ungasadibanisi ne-narcissist. Ngelinge lokufuna ukongamela, baya kuzama ukuyijika le meko baze bakuqinisekise ukuba nguwe obenze ububi.

Uya kusasaza amarhe ngawe, akwenze ubonakale njengomntu ombi. Ukuba unikwe ithuba, uya kubonisa inyani entsha yoxhatshazo olubangele ukuba wenze ngolu hlobo, kwaye ubunyani bakhe buya kuhlala buba yeyexhoba.

Xa ivala iimvakalelo zakho kwaye ipeyinte inyaniso entsha eyahlukileyo kwinto eyenzekayo, kubizwa ngokuba yi-gaslighting. I-narcissist engaqhagamshelwanga ihlala ibhenela kule ndlela yokukhohlisa ngetyhefu ukuze ikuhende ubuye.

6. Bangafumana omnye umntu

Ngokutsho kwezinye iingcali zengqondo, akuthathi xesha lide ukuba umntu okhohlisayo abuyele ekwahlukaneni kwakhe. Usenokungabonakali xa ecinga ngawe kwaye ekubhobhoza ngothando lwakhe, kodwa ekugqibeleni, kufuneka alungise indawo yakhe.

I-narcissistic manipulator ngaphandle kokunxibelelana ikhangela abanye abantu ngelixa ijonge into ebeyazi nawe. I-manipulative narcissist ayithathi xesha lininzi ukuchacha xa umlibala okanye umshiyile, kuba ukukholelwa kwakhe ekubeni ungaphezulu kwakho kumthintela ngokoqobo ekukuthatheni oku njengokuchaswa. Kodwa kuyafuneka ukwazi ukuba i-narcissistic manipulator isanengxaki yokwahlukana.

UNgaba umgibi we-narcissistic angalishiya ixhoba lakhe?

Nje ukuba akasakudingi ukuba wondle i-ego yakhe, i-narcissistic manipulator iyakulahla kwaye ikushiye. Ngokufanayo, ukuba uthatha isigqibo sokuzimela, ubeke imida, kwaye ucele ukuphindaphinda, i-narcissist iya kukwala ngaphandle kokucela uxolo, uvelwano, okanye ukuzisola.

Nangona kunjalo, inqanaba lokulahlwa lihlala lingathethi ukuba ugqibile ngawe, njengoko ii-narcissists ezikhohlisayo zidla ngokuphinda lo mjikelo wokukhohlisa kunye nokuxhatshazwa.

Kutheni ndingekakwazi ukulibala iqabane lam langaphambili elikhohlisayo?

Ukuthandana nomntu oyi-narcissistic manipulator kunokubangela inani elikhulu leengxaki. Nangona kunjalo abantu abaninzi banomdla kubudlelwane be-narcissistic. Uphononongo lubonise ukuba ii-manipulators ze-narcissistic zinqweneleka ngakumbi kwaye zinomtsalane njengamaqabane anokubakho. Nangona kunjalo nasemva kobudlelwane obunzima, kunokuba nzima ukushiya i-narcissist. Sisenokuziva ngathi sincama inxalenye yethu ukuba siyalushiya ulwalamano. Ukuba baye baba liziko lehlabathi lethu, sinokuziva silahlekile ngaphandle kwabo.

Iizalathiso zebhayibhiliyografi ukulibala i-narcissistic pervert

Nazi iimbekiselo ezisixhenxe zebhayibhilografi ezithetha ngomxholo othi “Ungayilibala njani i-narcissistic manipulator?” :

1. Cadiou, M. (2014). “Le pervers narcissique. Comment s’en séparer ?” Dialogue, 2014/3 (n° 205), pp. 85-90.
2. Korff-Sausse, S. (2003). “La femme du pervers narcissique”. Revue française de psychanalyse, 2003/3 (Vol. 67), pp. 925-942.
3. Cardot, P., & Six, C. (2017). “Face à la perversion : échapper à son emprise et trouver une posture ajustée ?” Gestalt, 2017/1 (n° 51), pp. 53-65.
4. Eiguer, A. (2008). “La perversion narcissique, un concept en évolution”. L’Information psychiatrique, 2008/3 (Vol. 84), pp. 193-199.
5. Ksensée, A. (2003). “Hystérie et perversion : le pervers narcissique”. Revue française de psychanalyse, 2003/3 (Vol. 67), pp. 943-958.
6. Wagner, C. (2012). “Relation d’objet dans la perversion narcissique. Se soutenir : déconstruire l’autre”. L’Information psychiatrique, 2012/1 (Vol. 88), pp. 21-28.
7. Balier, C. (1976). “La perversion narcissique en institution psycho-gériatrique : enjeux cliniques et institutionnels”. Psychothérapies, 2017/1 (Vol. 37), pp. 45-54.

Ezi mbekiselo zinika ukuqonda okunzulu kweendlela zokugqwetheka kwe-narcissistic kunye nezicwangciso zokuzikhulula kuyo.

Conclusion

Ukuzikhulula kwimpembelelo ye-narcissistic manipulator yindlela enzima, kodwa ayinakwenzeka. Ngokwamkela amacebo abambekayo ukuze hlukana ngokusisigxina kwaye wakhe ulungelelwaniso lweemvakalelo zakho, unokuphinda ngokuthe ngcembe ubuyise ukuzimela kwakho kunye nokuzola. Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuhlala unomonde kuwe kwaye ubeke phambili impilo-ntle yakho kuyo yonke le nkqubo.

Ukuqhagamshelana: Indlela yokuthetha nomntu we-narcissistic manipulator?