Kutheni i-narcissistic manipulator ishiya ixhoba layo?

Ukwahlukana kudla ngokuba ngumzuzu owoyikayo, ngakumbi ukuba omnye wamaqabane ungumqhubi we-narcissistic. Umonakalo owenziwe yi-a ubudlelwane obuyityhefu zenza uvavanyo olunzima olukude nokufana nokwahlukana “okuqhelekileyo”. I-narcissistic manipulator ngokubanzi ishiya ixhoba layo ngaphandle kwengcaciso kwaye ngendlela ekhohlakeleyo.. Eshiya ixhoba layo kwimeko yenkxalabo enzulu.

Uhamba nini umbhexeshi we-narcissistic? I-

Ixhoba le-narcissistic lishiya ixhoba lalo ngonaphakade lilandela iziganeko ezithile. Nazi ezinye iimeko ezinokuvela:

Ixhoba lakhe alisenakusetyenziswa

Xa ixhoba le i-narcissistic manipulator uqala ukufumanisa indalo yakhe yokwenyani, akasathobeki ngokwaneleyo ukuba angalawulwa. Akasenalo ulawulo kwixhoba lalo kwaye alisazivumeli ukuba lenziwe lizive linetyala. Umntu ogqwethekileyo uyamyeka aye kufuna elinye ixhoba eliya kuzanelisa iimfuno zakhe.

Umbhexeshi udiniwe lixhoba lakhe

I-narcissistic manipulator inokulishiya ngokuqinisekileyo ixhoba layo xa lo mva engasenamdla kuye. Kuya kufuneka uyazi ukuba xa uthandana nomntu okhohlisayo, kuya kufuneka umondle ngokwasemoyeni. Kananjalo kufuneka uqiniseke ukuba uziva “unamandla onke.”

Nge “vampire yeemvakalelo”, ixhoba lisenokudinwa kwaye ixhoba alisaneliseki ngobudlelwane babo. Angakwazi ke akushiye ngaphandle kokukucingela nokuba sele ediniwe nguwe. Unako nokukukhulula, kuba ukutshixile ngokupheleleyo. Kungenxa yezi zizathu ukuba kungcono ukushiya i-narcissistic manipulator ngaphambi kokuba ikushiye.

Kutheni umgibi we narcissistic eshiya ixhoba lakhe?

Kubudlelwane nolu hlobo lomntu, ulwalamano nomnye kufuneka luvuselele umntu oyityhefu ukuba amnike ithuba lokudlala nexhoba lakhe. Kodwa kwakhona kufuneka ivumele i-manipulator ukuba izive “inamandla onke”. Ixhoba kufuneka lixhathise kwaye lizithobe kwangaxeshanye.

Ngaphandle kwale “bhalansi igqwethekileyo”, i-narcissistic manipulator itshintsha ixhoba alishiye ixhoba lakhe. Ngaphambi kokuba ashiye ixhoba lakhe, lowo ugqwethekileyo ulungisa umhlaba. Njengoko elixoki eligqwesileyo kunye nomkhohlisi, akayi kuba nangxaki yokwenza iqabane lakhe libonakale liphambene, likhohlakele, likhohlisa …

Kutheni umkhohlisi ongendawo engafuni kukushiya?

Ngaba ekugqibeleni uvule amehlo akho kwaye wabona ubuso bokwenyani beqabane lakho? Uceba ukumshiya, kodwa ubonakala ebambelele kulwalamano lwenu. Uyazibuza ke ukuba kutheni esenza ngolu hlobo.

Ukusinda kwe-narcissistic manipulator kuxhomekeke kuwe

I-manipulator ye-narcissistic ayishiyi ixhoba layo, kuba ixhomekeke ngokupheleleyo kuye ukuba iphile. Usebenzisa wena njengentonga yakhe yengqondo. Ngaphandle kwakho, akakwazi ukuvelisa ukuphoxeka kunye neziphene zakhe. Ngamanye amazwi, umbhexeshi we-narcissistic ufuna umntu obeka ityala ngeentsilelo zakhe.

I-manipulator ye-narcissistic akalishiyi ixhoba lakhe ukuba libe nomfanekiso omhle ngaye

Ngokuqhelekileyo, i-narcissistic manipulator ikhetha ixhoba lakhe ngononophelo. Ungena kubudlelwane nomntu olungileyo, ikhuliswe, enesikhundla esinomdla okanye isangqa sentlalo. Umbhexeshi uya kuthi ke athathe ithuba kwezi asethi. Uya kubonisa impumelelo yamaxhoba akhe ngokuthatha imbeko kubo. Oku kumnika ithuba lokunyusa i-ego yakhe. Kodwa unomona ngokukhawuleza ngempumelelo yeqabane lakhe kwaye uya kwenza nantoni na ukumkhokelela ekuphumeleleni.

Ngokutsho kwakhe, ungowakhe kwaye yiyo loo nto ehlala

Kubalulekile ukucacisa ukuba i-manipulator ye-narcissistic akalithandi ixhoba lakhe. Akamthabathi njengomntu, kodwa yinto eyeyakhe. Njenge, ixhoba lakhe alinalungelo lokumshiya kwaye kuxhomekeke kuye ukugqiba ukuba lixesha lokuyibuyisela enye okanye hayi.

Umntu okhohlisayo akakushiyi kuba akakutshabalalisanga ngokupheleleyo.

Ukuba akafuni kukushiya, kungenxa yokuba umbhexeshi we-narcissistic akakawugqibi umsebenzi wakhe wokutshabalalisa. Ekuqaleni kobudlelwane, i-manipulator ityala imali ekuhengeni okukhulu. Wandula ke ngomonde akhe impembelelo yakhe kwixhoba lakhe ngokwenza ubuhlobo obusondeleyo. Ngokuchonga iziphene ezingokwengqondo zexhoba lakhe, ngokuthe ngcembe ugrumba kumthungo wokuxhomekeka kwakhe ngokweemvakalelo.

Emva koko ujonga le yokugqibela “njengotyalo-mali” angafuni ukuluyeka. Wohlala nawe ade akutshabalalise; ukukuqhubela kwimpambano okanye ukuzibulala. Ixhoba le-narcissistic lifuna ukutyumza ixhoba lalo ukuze lizive linamandla kwaye lililawule kude kube sekupheleni.

Uyenza njani i-manipulator ye-narcissistic ifune ukukuyeka? I-

Ukuze ungasokoliixhala kwaye uphephe ukutshatyalaliswa ngokupheleleyo; qiniseka ukuba ushiya i-manipulator ye-narcissistic ngaphandle kokuba afune ukukutshabalalisa ngokubuyisela. Ngalo nto :

• Menze afune ukukuyeka ngokulungileyo kwaye ambethe kumdlalo wakhe. Ngoko khumbula ukumamela, kodwa kwakhona ukuhlonipha iimvakalelo zakho.

• Ekuqaleni kobudlelwane, hlala ulindile kwaye uthembe iimvakalelo zakho xa uziva ukuba imeko ayiphilile. Oku kukuvumela ukuba uzilumkise ngobume obungalunganga bobudlelwane phambi kokuba impembelelo yogqwetha ibambe.

• Emva koko khumbula iimpawu nemilinganiselo yakho. Ngeukuzithemba kakuhle, awuniki umxhasi we-narcissistic ithuba lokukutshabalalisa. Ukuba sele kubudlelwane obuyityhefu, cinga ngokuzenza ngathi ukungakhathali kunyeungayihoyi i-narcissistic manipulator. Ke gcina umgama othile phakathi kwakho kwaye wenze yonke into ukuze uhlale uzolile phambi kwakhe.

• Ukungakhathali kunye nokungazi ziindlela ezimbini ezisebenzayo zokumenza akushiye.

• Kuyacetyiswa ukuba ukhulise ubomi bakho bentlalo. Ukukulawula, i-narcissistic manipulator iya kufuna ukwahlukanisa. Qinisekisa, ke ngoko, ukugcina iqonga lentlalo elityaliweyo nelibandakanyekayo ukuze uthintele iinzame zabo zokukhohlisa. Ukuba akakwazi ukukulawula nokukuphatha kakubi, uya kumenza afune ukukuyeka ngokusisigxina.

Ireferensi yebhayibhili yokufumanisa ukuba kutheni umbhexeshi we-narcissistic eshiya ixhoba lakhe

Nazi iimbekiselo ezisixhenxe zebhayibhili kumxholo we-narcissistic manipulator kunye nezizathu zokuba alishiye ixhoba lakhe:

1. Lemieux, M. (2017). Les pervers narcissiques : Comprendre pour mieux se défendre. Éditions de l’Homme.
2. Miller, J. (2019). La manipulation affective dans le couple : comprendre et agir. Éditions Eyrolles.
3. Schnyder, S. (2018). Pervers narcissiques : Détecter, comprendre et se libérer. Éditions Albin Michel.
4. Simon, G. (2015). Le harcèlement moral : Comment s’en sortir ? Éditions Robert Laffont.
5. Fischer, E. (2020). Les psychopathes au quotidien : Détecter les manipulateurs et s’en protéger. Éditions Eyrolles.
6. Leroy, J. (2016). Le comportement des manipulateurs émotionnels. Éditions de l’Écrou.
7. Durand, P. (2014). Psychologie des relations toxiques : Comprendre pour agir. Éditions First.

Ezi ncwadi zibonelela ngeembono ezahlukeneyo malunga nokuziphatha kwe-narcissistic manipulators kwaye zinokukunceda ukuba uqonde ngcono ukuguquka kobu budlelwane.

Ukuqukumbela

Ukuqukumbela, ukushiya i-narcissistic manipulator linyathelo elibalulekileyo kodwa elintsonkothileyo, eliphawulwe ziimvakalelo ezinzulu kunye nesidingo sokhuseleko ngokwasengqondweni. Kubalulekile ukuqaphela iimpawu zokukhohlisa kunye nokuphuhlisa ukuzithemba okunamandla ukuze ubaleke le mpembelelo. Ngokwamkela isimo sengqondo sokungakhathali nokuhlakulela ubudlelwane obufanelekileyo, kunokwenzeka ukuba uphinde ufumane inkululeko kwaye uzakhe kwakhona emva kwamava anetyhefu enjalo. Ukukhululeka kulo mjikelo utshabalalisayo sisenzo senkalipho kunye nenyathelo elikhokelela ekunyangeni.