Impembelelo kunye nokukhohlisa kusembindini wezicwangciso ezisetyenziswa ngabaqhubi be-narcissistic kubudlelwane babo.Phaukuphathayiuhlobo lwempembelelo efihlakeleyo okanye efihliweyo, apho umntu afuna ukuya khonaukwalathisa iingcinga, iimvakalelo okanye indlela yokuziphatha yabanye ekuncedeni bona, ngaphandle kwemvume enolwazilomntu osetyenziswayo.
Ihlala isekwe kwi:
- i ruse, i lie, i omission, okanye i guilt ;
- a ukungalingani kobudlelwane;
- umnqweno we-control okanye ukulawulwa.
🔎 Umzekelo: ukwenza umntu azive enetyala ukuze enze into ebengenakuyenza ngokwakhe.
🌱 Inkcazo yempembelelo (elungileyo okanye engathathi hlangothi):
influence, ngakolunye uhlangothi, transparent kwaye honest. Ibhekisela ekufumaneni umntu ukuba atshintshe ingqondo okanye ukuziphatha kwakhe ngokubhengeza iingcamango zabo, iingxoxo okanye umzekelo, ngelixa kuhlonelwa inkululeko yomnye.
Want to break free from this hold?
Isenokuba:
- conscious and reciprocal ;
- ngokusekelwe kwicharisma, Phaingqiqo, THEiimvakalelo ezakhayookanye iubunkokeli.
🔎 Umzekelo: khuthaza ugxa wakho ukuba alungelelanise ngcono ngokubabonisa eyakho indlela esebenzayo.
⚖️ Ukukhohlisa vs impembelelo: uthelekiso
| Iikhrayitheriya | Ukuphatha | Impembelelo |
|---|---|---|
| Ukungafihli | Ifihliwe, ngokungathanga ngqo | Vula, ngokucacileyo |
| Injongo | Ngokufuthi kukuzingca okanye ukuba nolunya | Ngokuqhelekileyo inobubele okanye ingathathi hlangothi |
| Ukuhlonela inkululeko yokuzikhethela | Ayihlonitshwa | Uhlonitshiwe |
| Izixhobo ezisetyenzisiweyo | Ubutyala, uloyiko, ukungacaci, ukubopha kabini | Ingxoxo, uvelwano, umzekelo |
| Iziphumo | Ukungathembi, ukuxhomekeka, ukubandezeleka | Ukuzithemba, inkuthazo, ukuzimela |
Iziseko zengqondo zempembelelo kunye nokukhohlisa
Impembelelo kunye nokukhwabanisa kusekelwe kwiindlela ezinzulu zengqondo. I-narcissistic manipulator ngobuchule isebenzisa ezi zixhobo ukuseka ulawulo lwakhe:
- Imfuneko yokuba ngowe: Sonke sifuna ukuziva samkelwe kwaye sixatyiswa. I-manipulator ye-narcissistic idlala kule mfuno ngokutshintshana phakathi kwe-valorization kunye nokwaliwa.
- Reciprocity: Sidla ngokubuyisela oko sikunikileyo. I-narcissistic manipulator isebenzisa iimbonakaliso zobuxoki zothando ukudala imvakalelo yokuba netyala.
- Ukuzibophelela kunye nokungaguquguquki: Nje ukuba sizibophelele endleleni, sivame ukunyamezela. I-narcissistic manipulator ityhala ixhoba lakhe ukuba libandakanyeke kancinci kancinci.
- Ubungqina boluntu: Sixhomekeke ekuziphatheni kwabanye ukuba sikhokele ezethu. I-manipulator ye-narcissistic ibeka ixhoba lakhe ukuba libe linye isalathiso sakhe.
- Authority: Sithanda ukuthobela amanani abasemagunyeni. I-narcissistic manipulator izibeka njengomphathi wolwazi nenyaniso.
- Rarity: Yintoni enqabileyo ibonakala inqweneleka ngakumbi kuthi. I-narcissistic manipulator yenza uthando lwakhe lunqabile kwaye luxabiseke emehlweni exhoba lakhe.
Ubuchule bokulawula kunxibelelwano
uye. I-repeat
- Principle: Rhoqo phinda umyalezo ukuze uhlanganiswe njengenyaniso. Imizekelo: iintengiso, ipropaganda yezopolitiko.
- I-Effect: Yenza imbono yobuxoki yokwenyani kwaye uphembelele izigqibo ngaphandle kokucinga nzulu.
b. I-cropping
- Principle: Ukutshintsha indlela ulwazi olubonwa ngayo ukuguqula ukutolika kwayo. Umzekelo: “Akukokusilela, lithuba lokufunda.”
- Effect: Lawula iimvakalelo ngokuguqula imbono yemeko.
c. I-amandla egunya
- Principle: Sebenzisa umntu onegunya ukukholisa. Umzekelo: ingcali okanye umntu odumileyo ocebisa imveliso.
- Effect: Yenza uxinzelelo lwentlalo eyenza kube nzima ukubuza ulwazi okanye isicelo.
d. Ubulungu beqela le-
- Principle: Sebenzisa imfuno yokuba nefuthe kwindlela yokuziphatha. Umzekelo: “Wonke umntu wenza oku, kufuneka nawe.”
- Effect: Ukulawula izigqibo ngokusebenzisa kakubi umnqweno wokuhambelana neqela.
e. I-uphambuko lwengqalelo
- Principle: Yalathisa ingqalelo kwiinkcukacha ezingabalulekanga ukuphepha ukuthetha ngezihloko ezibaluleke ngakumbi. Umzekelo: iziphazamiso kumajelo eendaba.
- Effect: Fihla ulwazi olubalulekileyo okanye uphazamise imiba ebalulekileyo.
f. ulwimi oluchukumisayo
- Principle: Sebenzisa iimvakalelo ezinamandla ukutyhala isenzo ngaphandle kokubonakaliswa okunengqiqo. Umzekelo: ukudlala ngoloyiko, ukuziva unetyala, okanye uvelwano ukuze ulawule abanye.
- I-Effect: Ukungalungelelani amandla okuhlalutya okubalulekileyo kunye nokwenza umntu amkeleke ngakumbi kwimpembelelo.
g. I-double bind (indawo ephikisanayo)
- Principle: Cebisa ukhetho apho, kuzo zonke iimeko, umntu utyhalelwa kwisisombululo. Umzekelo: “Inokuba uyasamkela esi siphakamiso, okanye uyasichasa.”
- Effect: Yenza imeko apho umntu aziva ebambekile kwaye kufuneka enze ukhetho ngaphandle kokunye okunokwenyani.
Ubuchwephesha bempembelelo yenkohliso ye-narcissistic manipulator
I-narcissistic manipulator isebenzisa uluhlu olupheleleyo lweendlela ezifihlakeleyo zempembelelo:
- Ukuqhatha ngokweemvakalelo: Udlala ngeemvakalelo zexhoba lakhe, etshintshana phakathi kwamaxesha ovuyo olukhulu kunye namaxesha okubandezeleka. Le yo-yo yeemvakalelo idala ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo.
- The gaslighting: Wenza ukuba ixhoba lakhe lithandabuze imbono yakhe ngobunyani, ngokukhanyela okanye ukugqwetha izibakala. Oku kunciphisa ukuzithemba kwaye kukwenza uxhomekeke kumgwebo wakho.
- The triangulation: Ungenisa umntu wesithathu kubudlelwane ukuze avuse umona nokungazithembi. Oku komeleza ulawulo lwakhe ngokugcina ixhoba lakhe lizikhusela.
- The love bombing: Ekuqaleni kobudlelwane, ugqithisa ixhoba lakhe ingqalelo kunye nothando. Oku kudala umanyano olomeleleyo kunye nombono onokuthi ixhoba lifune ukubuyela kulo.
- Unyango oluthe cwaka: Lohlwaya ixhoba lalo ngamaxesha okuthula kunye nokungakhathali. Oku kutyhala ixhoba ukuba lenze konke ukubuyisela ingqalelo yalo.
Ubutyala njengendlela yokulawula
QWALAXA bubuchule besakholoji obudla ngokusetyenziswa ngabaqhatha ukulawula okanye ukuphembelela umntu ngokumenza ukuba abe noxanduva lwento ethile, edla ngokungalunganga. Yeyona ndlela ixhaphake kakhulu kubudlelwane obuyityhefu (usapho, uthando, ubuchwephesha, njl.njl.), apho umqhatha efuna ukwenza buthathaka omnye ngokudlala izazela zabo, ukuziphatha kwabo okanye iimvakalelo zabo.
🔍 Isebenza njani?
I-manipulator isebenzisa ubutyala:
- Ukwenza abanye baphendule ngezenzo zakho okanye iimvakalelo zakho.
- Fumana inzuzo ngaphandle kokubuza ngokuthe ngqo.
- Kuphephe ukuthatha uxanduva ngeempazamo zakho ngokutyhola abanye.
- Ukugcina ulawulo lwengqondo, ngokunciphisa ukuzithemba kwexhoba.
🧠 Imizekelo ebambekayo:
-
Ubudlelwane bomzali nomntwana:
“Ngayo yonke into endikwenzele yona, uyandiphoxa…”
Oku kuthetha ukuba umntwana akanalo ilungelo lokuphila ngokokuzikhethela ngaphandle kokukhathaza umzali. -
Pair:
“Ukuba ubundithanda ngokwenene, ubuya kundenzela le nto.”
Sinyanzela abanye ukuba benze ngokuchasene nemilinganiselo yabo okanye intuthuzelo yabo ngenxa yokoyika ukuphulukana nothando. -
Job:
“Bendithembele kuwe, awuzukundiphoxa ngoku.” »
Nokuba umsebenzi oceliweyo ayiloxanduva lwakho okanye sele uthwele nzima.
🛡️ Uzikhusela njani?
- Chonga ipateni: Zibuze ukuba ngaba ngokwenene unoxanduva lwento otyholwa ngayo.
- Vavanya ukuba semthethweni kwesicelo: Ngaba sifanelekile, sinolungelelwano, okanye sigqithise?
- Seta imida: Yithi hayi ngaphandle kokuzithethelela ngokungenasiphelo.
- Umbuzo obuya umva:
“Kutheni ubeka olu xanduva kum?”
🔥 I-gaslighting: Xa sikwenza uthandabuze ubunyani bakho
THEgaslighting(okanye “gaslighting” ngesiFrentshi, ngokubhekiselele kumdlalo apho indoda iphambanisa umfazi wayo ngokuyilahlekisa iinkcukacha zokwenyani)ubuchule bokuguqula ingqondoejolise ukuyenza umntu athandabuze imbono yakhe, inkumbulo okanye impilo yengqondo.
🎭 Isebenza njani?
I-manipulator iya:
- Ukukhanyela iinyani ezicacileyo ozibonileyo okanye ozivileyo.
- Nciphisa ukuzithemba kwakho kumgwebo wakho.
- Jijise imeko ngakuwe, ngokukutyhola ngokuba nobuntununtunu kakhulu, uphambana, ungazinzanga…
- Dala ukubhideka ukuze ulawule ngcono kwaye ulawule.
🧠 Imizekelo ebambekayo:
-
Udibana nomntu ngobuxoki obucacileyo:
“Undixelele oko izolo. »
👉 “Nenza iifilimu. Awuqondanga kwakhona. » -
Uziva unomsindo okanye ulusizi xa ujongene nemeko engafanelekanga:
👉 “Uneemvakalelo kakhulu, uhlala ubaxa.”
-
UQUkuziphatha okukhohlakeleyo kuyanqatshelwa okanye kubuyiselwe umva:
“Undikhwaze!” »
👉 “Nguwe ondihlaseleyo, ndizolile. »
⚠️ Iziphumo zokulayita igesi:
- Ukuzithemba rhoqo
- Ukuziva “uphambene”
- Ukunyuka kokuxhomekeka kwi-manipulator
- Ukwahlulwa okuqhubelekayo
🛡️ Uzikhusela njani?
- Gcina umkhondo: imiyalezo, iilogi, ubungqina obubambekayo.
- Trust intuition yakho: ukuba uziva ngathi kukho into engalunganga, akuyonto.
- Thetha nomntu ongathathi hlangothi: abahlobo, isazi ngengqondo, umqeqeshi.
- Qinisekisa ubunyani bakho ngaphandle kokuzivumela ukuba ujike :
“Ndiyayazi into endiyibonileyo/endiyifumeneyo. Le ayiyongxoxo.”
Iziqhulo ezibuhlungu
Iziqhulo ezenzakalisayo ziyinxalenye yendlela yokuziphatha echuliweyo yeemvakalelo. Zidla ngokusetyenziswa Qinisa, ukuhlazisa okanye ukuthoba umntu phantsi kwesithunzi sokuhleka okanye ukukhaphukhaphu. Olu hlobo loburharha obuyityhefu luxhomekeke kwinto yokuba ixhoba alikwazi ukuzikhusela ngaphandle kokuba libonakale linzulu kakhulu, “lithe nkqo,” okanye “lingenaburharha.” Noko ke, zinokuba nemiphumo ehlala ihleli ekuzicingeni nasekuzithembeni.
💥 Isebenza njani?
Iziqhulo ezibuhlungu:
- Target iindawo ezibuthathaka zomntu (inkangeleko yabo, ubukrelekrele, ubuthathaka, iimpazamo, njl. njl.).
- UUkunciphisa okanye ukuthoba omnye umntu, ngelixa usenza kubonakale ngathi liqhula elilula.
- Qhuba iimvakalelo: emva kwesiqhulo, ixhoba liziva lineentloni okanye libuhlungu kodwa libe nobunzima bokulichaza ngaphandle kokubonakala “linzulu kakhulu” okanye “lichukumisekile.”
- Qinisa ukungalingani kubudlelwane: i-manipulator izibeka ngaphezu komnye ngokumenza abe sesichengeni sokugculelwa ngokuphindaphindiweyo.
🧠 Imizekelo eqhelekileyo:
-
on inkangeleko yomzimba:
“Owu, uphinde watyeba, huh?” Iyakufanela, iyahlekisa! » (Ngaphantsi koburharha, omnye uthotywa isidima emzimbeni wakhe.)
-
On ulwazi:
“Kuyinto ehlekisayo, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha ucotha kancinane ukufumana ukuxhoma, akunjalo? » (Ukuthotywa kugqalwa “njengokuqhula” kwaye kuthoba izakhono zomntu.)
-
on iziganeko ezinzima zobomi:
“Ngaba ngokwenene uyafuna ukutshata lo mfana? Uyamkhumbula umntu owake wathandana naye, akunjalo? Kuya kuba njalo! » (Ukuhleka kusekelwe ekubuzeni isiganeko esibalulekileyo nesomntu.)
-
On ubuthathaka okanye iimpazamo ezidlulileyo:
“Ah, uya kuphinda uyilibale loo nto, huh? Uhlala unentloko yakho emafini.” (Impazamo iyahlekisa, evimbela umntu ukuba afunde ngaphandle kokuhlekwa.)
⚠️ Iziphumo zeziqhulo ezibuhlungu:
- Ukulahleka kokuzithemba kuwe, njengoko ixhoba liqala ukuthandabuza ukubaluleka kwalo.
- Ukuziva uneentloni nangaphandle kwesizathu esibambekayo.
- Ukwahlukaniswa koluntu: Ukuba abanye bajoyina ihlaya okanye bengayibuzi, oku komeleza ukuthotywa.
- Uxinzelelo kunye nokuxhalaba: Ngokufakwa phantsi kweehlaya zolu hlobo, umntu unokuziva ehlala ezikhusela.
🛡️ Usabela njani kolu hlobo lokuqhula?
- Step back: Musa ukuphendula ngokungxama.
- Ukumisela imida eqinileyo:
-
“Andiluthandi olu hlobo lwesiqhulo, aluhlekisi kum. »
-
- Phendula ngohlaziyo oluzolileyo:
-
“Andiqondi ukuba uyaqonda ukuba le nto iyandikhathaza. »
-
- Tshintsha isihloko okanye ungawahoyi la mazwi:
Ngamanye amaxesha, ukwala ukubandakanyeka kuburharha kunokukhulula isiqhulo.
I-narcissistic pervert ihlala isebenzisa i-cognitive dissonance njengesixhobo esifihlakeleyo sokusebenzisa kunye nokulawula amaxhoba akhe. Ukuziphatha kwabo kujolise ekudaleni ukuphikisana engqondweni yexhoba, kubaqhubela ukuba bathandabuze ubunyani babo, iimbono kunye neemvakalelo zabo. Oku kunokukhokelela ekubhidekeni kwengqondo, ukuphelelwa ukuzithemba, kunye nokuziva ungonwabanga rhoqo ngokwasengqondweni.
🔥 Indima ye-cognitive dissonance kwi-narcissistic manipulator:
I-manipulator ye-narcissistic yingcali kubugcisa bokudala iimeko apho ixhoba livakalelwakungquzulwano lwangaphakathi. Ngokufaka iingcamango eziphikisanayo, i-manipulator ibangela ukuba ixhoba lingakwazi ukuba yintoni eyinyani, into ebubuxoki, kwaye iphetha ngokuzigxeka okanye ukulungelelanisa inguqu ephosakeleyo yeziganeko ezicetywayo ngu-narcissist.
💥 Imizekelo ebambekayo yokungazinzi kwengqondo kwi-narcissistic manipulator:
1. Ukunciphisa ukuziphatha kakubi:
-
Situation: Umbhexeshi we-narcissistic uhlala ekugxeka, ukungcikiva okanye ukubeke phantsi. Kodwa nje ukuba usabele, ikuxelela:
“Owu, kodwa ibiyintlekisa!” Wenza iifilimu! »
-
Cognitive dissonance: Uyazi ukuba amazwi akhe ayebuhlungu, kodwa wenza ukuba ubuthandabuze ubunzulu bemeko. Uyazibuza ukuba ngaba wenza ngokugqithisileyo, nto leyo ekhokelela ekungaqiniseki.
-
Effect: Ngokusabela ngolu hlobo, ubuza eyakho imbono, kwaye uqala ukuziva unetyala ngempendulo yakho. Oku kukutyhala ukuba unyamezele ukuthotywa ngakumbi nangakumbi ngaphandle kokuzikhusela.
2. Imidlalo yokungakhathali kunye noxinzelelo lweemvakalelo:
-
Situation: I-narcissist enenkohliso inokuba nomtsalane ngendlela emangalisayo kwaye inenkathalo ngenye imini, kodwa ikude ngokupheleleyo okanye ikhohlakele ngolulandelayo. Emva komzuzwana wokuchaswa okanye ukungakhathali, ubuya nezizathu kunye nezithembiso zokutshintsha.
“Uxolo, bendingafuni kukwenzakalisa, uyazi ukuba ubaluleke kakhulu kum. »
-
Cognitive dissonance: Ixhoba lihamba phakathi kwezinto ezimbini eziphikisanayo: ukuziphatha ngokungakhathali kunye nenkohlakalo kwelinye icala, emva koko lixolise kunye nemizuzu yengqalelo kwelinye.
KEEP0003ZE
-
Isiphumo: Lo mahluko udala i-dissonance engqondweni yexhoba, eliqala ukukholelwa ukuba mhlawumbi into eyenzekileyo ayizange ibe mbi kangako, okanye ukuba i-narcissistic manipulator ngokwenene ngumntu obuthathaka kakhulu “ofanelwe” ithuba lesibini.
3. Iprojekthi kunye nokuguqulwa kwendima:
-
Situation: Umkhohlisi we-narcissistic wenza izinyeliso ezingenasihlahla okanye akubek’ ityala ngezakhe iimpazamo. Uya kuveza iimpazamo zakhe kuwe.
“Uzicingela, awukhe ucinge ngam!” »
or:
« Nguwe owenze le mpazamo, kutheni uhlala undibeka kwindawo apho kufuneka ndilungise yonke into? » -
Cognitive dissonance: Uyazi nzulu ukuba awunaxanduva, kodwa indlela akuqinisekisa ngayo ngenye indlela ikwenza uthandabuze.
-
Effect: Ngokutyholwa ngokungafanelekanga, uqala ukucinga ukuba inokuba yinyani ukuba uziphatha ngokuzingca, nokuba akunjalo. Oku komeleza iimvakalelo zakho zokuziva unetyala kwaye kwenza buthathaka isigwebo sakho.
4. Isolation kunye nolawulo:
-
Imeko: Umbhexeshi we-narcissistic uzama ukwahlukanisa nabahlobo okanye usapho lwakho, ekwenza ukholelwe ukuba bachasene nawe okanye ababuqondi ubudlelwane. Usenokuthi:
“Yabona, usapho lwakho/abahlobo abakuthandi ncam, bahlala bezama ukwenza ukuba undithandabuze.”
Okanye :
“Ukuba uyabamamela kwakhona, uya kuphulukana noko sinako.” -
Cognitive dissonance: Ixhoba lizifumana liqhawukile phakathi kobudlelwane balo bangaphandle, obunyanisekileyo, nomntu obaxelela ukuba obu budlelwane buyingozi.
-
Effect: Ugqiba uzikhwebule kwabanye kwaye ubuze uthando nenkxaso yabo bakungqongileyo. Ixhoba liya lixhomekeke ngakumbi nangakumbi kwi-manipulator ye-narcissistic, ethi ngokuthe ngcembe ilawule indawo yayo.
5. “Lityala lakho”:
-
Situation: Umntu osebenzisa i-narcissistic manipulator uhlala esebenzisa ukukhohlisa ukuze akwenze ube noxanduva lokuziphatha kwakhe okubi. Emva kwengxabano okanye ingxabano, unokuthi:
“Ukuba ubungayenzanga loo nto, ngendingasabelanga ngolo hlobo. »
-
Cognitive dissonance: Ixhoba liyazi ukuba isimilo somntu okhohlisayo sasingafanelekanga, kodwa umqhatha uyakwazi ukumenza athandabuze uxanduva lwakhe.
-
Isiphumo: Endaweni yokubona ukuba i-manipulator ye-narcissistic ibonisa ukuziphatha okunetyhefu, ixhoba liqala ukuziva linetyala kwaye licinga ukuba libangele imeko, ngoko ke ukunciphisa amandla abo kunye nokomeleza ukubamba kwe-manipulator.
🛡️ Uyilawula njani i-cognitive dissonance kubudlelwane ne-narcissistic manipulator?
- Ukuthatha inyathelo umva: Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba le nto sivakalelwa kukuba ifanelekile kwaye ukukhohlisa kwe-narcissistic manipulator kujonge ukudodobalisa imbono yethu. Musa ukubanjiswa ngumjikelo wokuphikisana.
- Ukubonisana neqela lesithathu elinenjongo: Ukuthetha nomhlobo omthembileyo, ingcaphephe, okanye ilungu losapho kunokunceda ukufumana umbono ocacileyo weziganeko kunye nokuqinisekisa ubunyani bangaphandle.
- Khumbula iinyani: Ukubhala phantsi iziganeko, amagama, kunye nokuziphatha kwe-narcissistic manipulator kunokukunceda ugcine imbono enenjongo. Oku kukunceda ukuba ungagxininisi kubuchule bakho.
- Seta imida eqinileyo: Funda ukuthi hayi kwaye ukwala ukuvuma ukukhohlisa. Oku kunokuba nzima, kodwa kubalulekile ukuphuma kolu tshintsho luyityhefu.
Ulawulo lwengqondo njengokukhohlisa umgqwethi
Impembelelo ye-narcissistic manipulator ikwasetyenziswa kwinqanaba leengcamango kunye neenkolelo:
- Ukugqwethwa kwamaxabiso: Uyitolika ngokuthe ngcembe imilinganiselo yokuziphatha yexhoba lakhe ukuze athethelele isimilo sakhe sokuxhatshazwa.
- Ukusekwa kokubopha kabini: Ibeka ixhoba layo kwiimeko apho ziphosakele nantoni na abayenzayo. Oku kudala ukubhideka kunye nokuziva ungenakuzinceda.
- Uqikelelo: Ubalula iimpazamo zakhe kunye nokuziphatha okuyityhefu kwixhoba lakhe. Oku kubetha imigca kwaye kwenza ixhoba lizive linetyala.
- Ulawulo lolwazi: Ihlunga kwaye igqwethe ulwazi apho ixhoba layo linokufikelela khona. Oku kubumba umbono wakhe wehlabathi ngokweminqweno yakhe.
I-Qiniso ngokuthi “ndinexhala ngawe”
Phaukuqhathwa “ndinexhala ngawe”bubuchule obuchuliweyo obusetyenziswa ngabakhohlisayo, kaninzi kubudlelwane apho elinye iqela lifuna ukusebenzisa ulawulo phezu kwelinye phantsi kwesithunzi senkathalo nenkxalabo. Ingcamango kukuvuselela iimvakalelo zokuziva unetyala okanye ukuxhomekeka kwixhoba ngokwenza ngathi izinto ezixhalabisayo ezivakaliswa ngumqhatha zisekelwe kwimpilo-ntle yabo okanye uthando ngomnye umntu. Oku kunokuba yingozi kakhulu, kuba kubonakala kunobubele ekuqaleni, kodwa eneneni yindlelaukunciphisa inkululeko, ukuchaphazela ukhethoOkanyeukulawula iimvakaleloyomnye umntu.
🔥 Isebenza njani?
Imanipulator:
- Sebenzisa ububele ngokwenza ngathi ukukhathalele.
- Iphazamisa ingqalelo kwiinjongo zakho okanye ukuziphatha okuyityhefu.
- Lawula iimvakalelo ngokudala umoya wokuxhomekeka okanye ukuziva unetyala, ikwenza ukholelwe ukuba awunakwenza unothanda ngaphandle kokwenzakalisa omnye.
🧠 Imizekelo ebonakalayo yokukhohlisa ngokuthi “Ndinexhala ngawe”:
1. on ukulawula ubudlelwane bakho bezentlalo:
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Situation: Ufuna ukuchitha ixesha nabahlobo bakho okanye usapho, kodwa umqhatha uphendula ngolu hlobo:
“Yazi ndinexhala ngawe izihlobo zakho azikuqondi ncam, ndinexhala uchitha ixesha elininzi kunye nabo kwaye ibuhlungu kuwe. »
- Manipulation: Umkhohlisi udlala ityala ngokuzenza umntu okukhathaleleyo impilo-ntle yakho. Usebenzisa ixhala njengesizathu sokukwahlukanisa nabantu obathandayo aze akwenze uxhomekeke kuye.
- Effect: Uhlala uziva unetyala xa ubona abantu obathandayo, okanye uqala ukuthandabuza iinjongo zabahlobo bakho. I-manipulator ngoko yomeleza ulawulo lwakhe kubudlelwane bakho bentlalo.
2. On ukhetho lwakho lobuqu okanye lobungcali:
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Situation: Ufuna ukwenza utshintsho ebomini bakho, njengokutshintsha umsebenzi okanye ukufudukela kwesinye isixeko, kodwa umxhasi ukuxelela:
“Ndinexhala kakhulu ngawe, lutshintsho olukhulu. Uqinisekile ukuba lo ngumbono olungileyo? Andifuni ukuba wenze isigqibo esibi.”
- Manipulation: Umkhohlisi usebenzisa “ixhala” lakhe ukwenza uthandabuze ukhetho lwakho. Ukwenza ukholelwe ukuba, ukuba uyakuthanda okanye ukukhathalele, unelungelo lokuzibuza ngezigqibo ezibalulekileyo ozenzayo.
- Effect: Oku kukhathazeka kukwenza uthandabuze, uqalise ukuthandabuza izakhono zakho kunye nokukhetha kwakho, kwaye uphele ungayenzi into oyifunayo ngokwenene ukuphepha ukuphoxeka okanye ukubangela umonakalo kumntu othi ukukhathalele.
3. on ukuziphatha okanye imikhwa:
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Situation: Uthatha indlela entsha yokuphila, mhlawumbi usempilweni, kodwa umqhathi uphendula ngolu hlobo:
“Ndinexhala lokwenene, uyazi ukuba kunokuba nemiphumo, ubusoloko utyekele ekugqithiseni kancinci. Lumka, kunokuba kubi kuwe. »
- Manipulation: Olu hlobo lokuphawula lulinge lokwenza ixhoba lithandabuze ukhetho lwalo, ngelixa lizibonakalisa njengomntu osisilumko noxhalabileyo. Injongo kukuphembelela ngokwenza ukuba uthandabuze ukukwazi kwakho ukuzikhathalela.
- Effect: Ixhoba liphetha liziva linetyala ngezigqibo zalo, okanye lide liqalise ukuthandabuza ubunyani bendlela entsha yokuphila.
4. on izigqibo zovakalelo okanye kubomi bosapho:
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Situation: Ufuna ukwenza isigqibo esichaphazela wena buqu, njengokuphelisa ubudlelwane okanye ukutshintsha amandla osapho, kwaye umkhohlisi uyakuxelela:
“Ndinexhala ngawe. Ukuba uyenzile loo nto, uzibeka emngciphekweni wokuzisola, inokukwenzakalisa kakhulu. Andifuni wonzakale. »
- Manipulation: Uzama ukwenza ukuba uthandabuze amandla akho okwenza izigqibo ngokudlala ixhoba kwaye uziva unetyala ngokufuna ukutshintsha into ebomini bakho, nokuba oko kukulungele wena.
- Effect: Unokuqala ukukholelwa ukuba ukwimeko apho izigqibo zakho kufuneka ziqinisekiswe ngabanye, okanye okubi ngakumbi, ukuba awukwazi ukwenza izigqibo ezifanelekileyo wedwa.
⚠️ Iziphumo zolu qheliso:
- Guilt: Umkhohlisi ukwenza ukuba ukholelwe ukuba xa wenza ngokuchasene nezinto ezimxhalabisayo, uzicingela okanye ubeka ubomi bakho emngciphekweni.
- Emotional ukuxhomekeka: Ngokwenza ukuba ungathandabuzi ngokwakho, i-manipulator idala ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo, apho uqala ukuthembela kumgwebo wabo ngaphezu kowakho.
- Isolation: Ngokwenza ukuba ungathandabuzi ubudlelwane bakho nabanye, okanye ukhetho lwakho lobuqu, umqhatha unokukutyhala ukuba ube wedwa kwabakungqongileyo ukuze ulawule ngcono izenzo zakho.
- Uthintelo lweeprojekthi zakho kunye neminqweno: Unokukhokelelwa ukuba uncame amaphupha akho okanye iiprojekthi zakho ukuphepha “ukwenzakalisa” umqhathi okanye ukuphoxa ulindelo lwakhe.
🛡️ Ungazikhusela njani kolu qheliso?
- Ukuqaphela ukukhwabanisa: Isinyathelo sokuqala kukuqonda ukuba akusiyo inkxalabo yokwenene, kodwa umzamo wokulawula phantsi kwengubo yobubele.
- Ukumamela iimfuno kunye neminqweno yakho: Ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba isigqibo okanye isenzo silungile kuwe, kubalulekile ukusilandela, nokuba siyakhathaza okanye siyamkhathaza omnye umntu.
- Seta imida ecacileyo: Funda ukumisela imida kwaye ukwala ukuthathela ingqalelo iinkxalabo ezingenyani zokuzama ukukhohlisa.
- Ooutside support: Ukuthetha nabahlobo, usapho, okanye umntu onyangayo kunokukunceda ufumane imbono yangaphandle kwaye wakhe ukuzithemba kuwe nakwizigqibo zakho.
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Iimpendulo zeFirm:
“Ndiyaqonda ukuba unexhala, kodwa esi sigqibo sichaphazela mna kwaye yeyona nto ndicinga ukuba ilungile kum. »
Iindlela zempembelelo kunye nefuthe ekuhambeni kwexesha
Impembelelo ye-narcissistic manipulator yenzeka ngokuhamba kwexesha ngeendlela ezininzi:
- Umjikelo wobundlobongela: Ukutshintshana kwezigaba zengxwabangxwaba, uqhushumbo kunye noxolelwaniso olugcina ixhoba linethemba kunye netyala.
- Ixesha lokuqiniswa: UUkutshintshana okungalindelekanga kwemivuzo kunye nezohlwayo okudala ukuxhomekeka okuqinileyo ngokwasengqondweni.
- Ityala leemvakalelo: Qiniso lokuzincama kunye nezivumelwano ezidala uvakalelo lokuba kufuneka uhlale kubudlelwane.
- I-I-Identity Fragmented identity: Ukutshatyalaliswa okuqhubekayo kwesazisi sexhoba, endaweni yomfanekiso owenziwe yi-manipulator ye-narcissistic.
Imiba esemngciphekweni yokuphembelela kunye nokulawula
Izinto ezithile zenza umntu achaphazeleke ngakumbi kwimpembelelo ye-narcissistic manipulator:
- UAmanxeba obuntwana angasonjululwanga: Ukusilela kwangoko ngokweemvakalelo kunokudala imeko-bume efanelekileyo yokulawula iimvakalelo. Oku kukwabizwa ngokuba yi-maternal injury.
- Ukuzithemba okuphantsi: Ukungabikho kokuzithemba kukwenza ube novelwano ngakumbi kubuchule bokuxabisa/ukunciphisa ixabiso.
- Uvelwano olugqithisileyo: Ubuntununtunu obukhulu kwabanye bunokusetyenziswa ngumcebisi we-narcissistic ukubangela ukuba netyala kunye nokuzinikela okugqithisileyo.
- Iinkolelo ezinciphisayo: Iinkolelo ezithile malunga nothando okanye ubudlelwane zenza kube lula ukwamkela ukuziphatha okuyityhefu.
Impembelelo ye-neurobiological yempembelelo kunye nokuguqulwa kwe-PN
Impembelelo ye-narcissistic manipulator ineziphumo ezinokulinganiswa kwingqondo:
- Ukuphazamiseka kwenkqubo yomvuzo: Utshintsho phakathi koqingqo-maxabiso kunye nokwaliwa kudala umlutha wokwenyani kubudlelwane.
- Hyperactivation ye-amygdala: Imozulu yoloyiko kunye nokungakhuselekanga igcina ingqondo ikwimo esisigxina yokulumkisa.
- Ukuphazamiseka kwemveliso ye-serotonin: Uxinzelelo olungapheliyo luphazamisa ukulawulwa kwemizwelo kwaye lukhuthaza ukudakumba.
- Ukusilela kwe-Oxytocin: Ukungazinzi ngokweemvakalelo kuphazamisa ukukhutshwa kwehomoni yokuncamathisela.
Ikhonkco lempembelelo kunye nokuLawula kwi-Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Impembelelo kunye nokukhohlisa kunxulunyaniswa ngaphakathi kwisakhiwo sobuntu be-narcissistic manipulator:
- Isidingo solawulo: Imvakalelo yenarcissist yokuba namandla onke imtyhalela ekubeni afune ukulawula yonke into emngqongileyo.
- Ukungabi novelwano: Ukungakwazi ukuzibeka kwizihlangu zomnye kwenza kube lula ukuziphatha okukhohlisayo.
- Ukufuna ukuqinisekiswa kwangaphandle: Imfuno eqhubekayo yokuncoma ityhala i-narcissist ukuba imise enye emfanekisweni wayo.
- Umbono wokwahlulwahlulwa kobudlelwane: Utyekelo lokwenza ngcono uze ujongele phantsi elinye ifuthe lomjikelo wolawulo.
I-Bibliographic reference kwimpembelelo kunye nokukhohlisa
Nalu uluhlu lweereferensi ezintandathu zebhayibhilografi ngempembelelo kunye nokukhohlisa:
- Cialdini, R. B. (2021). Impembelelo, uhlelo olutsha: Amandla okucenga. Ushicilelo lokuqala.
- Joule, R.-V., & Beauvois, J.-L. (2014). Incwadana encinci malunga nokukhohlisa ukuze kusetyenziswe abantu abanyanisekileyo. Ushicilelo Universitaires de Grenoble.
- Guéguen, N. (2011). IPsychology yokukhohlisa kunye nokungeniswa. Dunod.
- Breton, P. (2000). Intetho eguquliweyo. UkuFumana.
- Abgrall, J.-M. (2003). Ubuchwephesha bamaqela. Intlawulo.
- Nazare-Aga, I. (2014). Ii-manipulators ziphakathi kwethu: Ngoobani? Indlela yokuzikhusela kuyo? Les Editions de l’Homme.
Le mi sebenzi inikezela ngeembono ezahlukeneyo kwiindlela zempembelelo kunye nokukhohlisa kwiimeko ezahlukeneyo zentlalo kunye nezengqondo.
Ukuqukumbela
Ekugqibeleni, impembelelo kunye nokunyanzeliswa kwe-manipulator ye-narcissistic isekelwe kwiindlela eziyinkimbinkimbi zengqondo. Ukuqonda le misebenzi kusivumela ukuba sichonge ngcono iimeko zolawulo kwaye silinganise ubungqongqo bazo. Kumaxhoba abasetyhini, olu lwazi luyimfuneko, nangona lubuhlungu, inyathelo lokuqala lokuzikhulula kwimpembelelo eyityhefu.
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Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.