Ukungahoywa ngokweemvakalelo ngexesha lobuntwana kunokuba neempembelelo ezinzulu kubomi babantu abadala, kubandakanywa nokwenza umntu abe sesichengeni sobudlelwane obuyityhefu, ngakumbi nabenzi bobuqhetseba be-narcissistic. Eli nqaku liphonononga unxibelelwano phakathi kwala mava angaphambili kunye neepateni zobudlelwane eziyingxaki ezinokuvela kuzo.
Ukungahoywa ngokweemvakalelo: Inxeba elingabonakaliyo
Ukungakhathalelwa ngokweemvakalelo kuchazwa njengokusilela ukusabela ngokwaneleyo kwiintswelo ezingokweemvakalelo zomntwana. Kuthathwa njengokwenzakala okungabonakaliyo. Idla ngokufihlakeleyo kwaye ingenzelwanga ngabom, isenokungaqatshelwa kodwa ishiya imikhondo enzulu.
Ukunqongophala kokuqinisekiswa ngokweemvakalelo: Iimvakalelo zomntwana azihoywa okanye zincitshiswe
Ukungabikho kokuqinisekiswa ngokweemvakalelo ngumba obalulekileyo wokungahoywa ngokweemvakalelo. Kwenzeka xa abazali okanye amanani ancamatheleyo esilela ngokucwangcisekileyo ukuqaphela, ukungahoyi, okanye ukuzijongela phantsi iimvakalelo neemvakalelo zomntwana. Olu hlobo lokungahoywa lunokuba nemiphumo enzulu ekukhuleni komntwana ngokweemvakalelo nakwimpilo-ntle yengqondo yexesha elizayo.
Want to break free from this hold?
Iimbonakalo zokunqongophala kokuqinisekiswa kweemvakalelo
- Izihoyi iimvakalelo ezichaziweyo:
- Abazali abaphenduli xa umntwana evakalisa usizi, umsindo okanye uvuyo.
- Umntwana ufunda ukuba iimvakalelo zakhe azifanelekanga ingqalelo.
- Nciphisa iimvakalelo:
- Amabinzana afana nelithi “Akunamsebenzi” okanye “Uyibaxa” asetyenziswa rhoqo.
- Umntwana ufunda ukuthandabuza ukuba semthethweni kweemvakalelo zakhe.
- Qinisa ukusabela ngokweemvakalelo:
- Abazali bayahlekisa okanye bayamgxeka umntwana xa elila okanye evakalisa uloyiko.
- Umntwana uba neentloni ezinxulumene neemvakalelo zakhe.
- Ukwala amava omntwana ngokweemvakalelo:
- Abazali bayaphikisana neemvakalelo ezivakaliswa ngumntwana.
- Umntwana uphelelwa yintembelo kwindlela azibona ngayo izinto ngokweemvakalelo.
- Uqikelelo olugqithisileyo:
- Abazali basoloko bezama ukuchaza iimvakalelo ngokusengqiqweni endaweni yokuzamkela.
- Umntwana ufunda ukucinezela iimvakalelo zakhe ngenxa yengqiqo.
Impembelelo kuphuhliso lomntwana
- Ubunzima bokuchonga kunye nokuvakalisa iimvakalelo:
- Umntwana ukhula engakhange afunde ukubiza amagama nokuqonda iimvakalelo zakhe.
- Ebudaleni, oku kunokukhokelela kwi-alexithymia, ubunzima bokuchonga kunye nokuchaza iimvakalelo.
- Ukuzithemba okuphantsi:
- Umntwana ufaka ngaphakathi ingcamango yokuba iimvakalelo zakhe azibalulekanga okanye zivumelekile.
- Oku kunokukhokelela ekubeni uzijongele phantsi de ube ngumntu omdala.
- Utyekelo lokuzenzakalela ngokwakho:
- Umntwana ufunda ukuthandabuza iimbono neemvakalelo zakhe.
- Njengabantu abadala, oku kungabonakalisa njengokutyekela kokuhlala uzibuza.
- Hypersensitivity okanye ukuphazamiseka ngokweemvakalelo:
- Abanye abantwana baye babe novelwano kakhulu, besabela ngamandla kolona mvakalelo luncinci.
- Abanye baye batyhafe, becinezela nayiphi na indlela abasabela ngayo ngokweemvakalelo.
- Ubunzima kubudlelwane phakathi kwabantu:
- Ukungakwazi ukuqaphela nokuvakalisa iimvakalelo kunokukhokelela kubunzima bonxibelelwano.
- Oku kunokwenza kube nzima ukwenza ubudlelwane obusondeleyo, obuyinyani.
Ukunqongophala kokuqinisekiswa ngokweemvakalelo & ukuba sesichengeni kubaphathi be-narcissistic
Ukunqongophala kokuqinisekiswa ngokweemvakalelo ebuntwaneni kunokudala indawo yokuzalela yokuxhatshazwa ngabaxhaphazi be-narcissistic njengabantu abadala:
- Imfuno egqithisileyo yokuqinisekiswa kwangaphandle:
- Ekubeni engasifumananga siqinisekiso ebuntwaneni, umntu usenokuyifuna ngamandla imvume kwabanye.
- Ii-Narcissistic manipulators ziyagqwesa ekusebenziseni le mfuno ngokutshintshanisa phakathi kokuqinisekiswa nokuhla kwexabiso.
- Ubunzima bokuthemba iimbono zomntu :
- UEkunyanzeleke ekubeni iimvakalelo zabo zingasebenzi, umntu unokuzithandabuza ngokulula.
- Abaqhubi be-Narcissistic bahlala besebenzisa i-gaslighting, indlela yokukhohlisa eyenza ukuba ixhoba lithandabuze imbono yalo yokwenyani.
- Ukwandisa ukunyamezela ukuziphatha kakubi:
- Ekuba ukhulele kwindawo apho iimvakalelo zomntu zingahoywanga, umntu lowo usenokuba ululungelelanisa olu hlobo lonyango.
- Ngoko ke unokuba nobunzima bokuqonda kunye nokuchasa ukuziphatha kakubi kwe-narcissistic manipulator.
Ukungabi nangqalelo entle: Ukhuthazo oluncinane okanye ukuncoma
Ukunqongophala kwengqwalasela entle ngumba obalulekileyo wokungahoywa ngokweemvakalelo ophawulwa kukungakhuthazi okungapheliyo, ukudunyiswa kunye nokuphawulwa okuhle emntwaneni. Oku kuhluthwa ngokweemvakalelo kunokuba nemiphumo ebalulekileyo ekuphuhliseni ukuzithemba kunye nobudlelwane bexesha elizayo bomntu. Imiboniso enokwenzeka yile:
- Ukungabikho kwezincomo:
- Impumelelo yabantwana, nokuba yezemfundo, yezobugcisa okanye yezentlalo, azifane ziqatshelwe okanye zibhiyozelwe.
- Imigudu yomntwana idla ngokungaphawulwa okanye igqalwa njengento nje engenamsebenzi.
- Inkuthazo encinci:
- Umntwana akafane afumane amazwi okhuthazo xa ejamelene nemingeni okanye amava amatsha.
- Abazali ababonisi mdla kwiiprojekthi okanye izinto anomdla kuzo umntwana.
- Gxininisa kwiimpazamo:
- ingqwalasela yomzali ngokuyintloko ijolise kwiimpazamo okanye iintsilelo zomntwana.
- Impumelelo icuthwa ngelixa ukungaphumeleli kusenziwa mkhulu.
- UnFavourful comparitions:
- Umntwana uhlala ethelekiswa kakubi nabantakwabo, abazala bakhe okanye afunda nabo.
- Iimpawu zabo ezikhethekileyo azifane ziqondwe okanye zixatyiswe.
- Ukungakhathali kwiimpumelelo:
- Izinto eziphunyeziweyo zomntwana zamkelwa ngokungakhathali okanye zijongwa njengezibophelelo.
- Umntwana ufunda ukuba impumelelo yakhe ayinaxabiso likhethekileyo emehlweni abazali bakhe.
Impembelelo kuphuhliso lomntwana
- Ukungazithembi:
- Ngaphandle kokuphawulwa okuqinisekileyo, umntwana unokuba nomfanekiso-ngqondweni ojongelwa phantsi.
- Usenokuba nobunzima ekuqondeni ukubaluleka nobuchule bakhe.
- Imfuno egqithisileyo yokuqinisekiswa kwangaphandle:
- Ekubeni engafumani ngqalelo eyaneleyo ebuntwaneni, umntu usenokuxhomekeka kwimvume yabanye.
- Oku kunokubonakala “njengokukholisa abantu” ebudaleni.
- Perfectionism kunye noloyiko lokungaphumeleli:
- Umntwana unokuhlakulela ukuthanda ukugqibelela okugqithisileyo ngethemba lokufumana ukuqondwa kwabazali ekugqibeleni.
- Uloyiko lokungaphumeleli lunokuba ngumqobo, luthintele ekuthatheni umngcipheko kwaye ukhangele amathuba amatsha.
- Ubunzima bokwamkela izincomo:
- Okothusayo kukuba, abantu abadala abakhule ngaphandle kokuhoywa kakuhle banokuba nobunzima bokufumana kunye nokukholelwa ukuncoma.
- Usenokukujongela phantsi ukuphumelela kwakhe okanye athi kungenxa yethamsanqa.
- Ukunqongophala kwenkuthazo yangaphakathi:
- Ngaphandle kokukhuthazwa rhoqo, umntwana unokuba nobunzima ekuphuhliseni inkuthazo yangaphakathi.
- Njengabantu abadala, oku kunokuguqulela ubunzima bokwenza iinjongo zexesha elide ngaphandle kokuqinisekiswa kwangaphandle.
Ukunqongophala kwengqwalasela elungileyo & ukuba sesichengeni kwii-manipulators ze-narcissistic
Ukungabikho kwengqwalasela entle ebuntwaneni kunokudala umngcipheko othile kubuchule be-narcissistic manipulators:
- Imfuno enganelisiyo yokuqondwa:
- Ukunqongophala kwengqwalasela entle ebuntwaneni kunokudala isithuba apho umxhaphazi we-narcissistic ekwaziyo ukuxhaphaza.
- Ukuzithemba okuphantsi:
- UA umntu ongazithembiyo usenokunyamezela ukuziphatha kakubi.
- Ubunzima bokuqonda ixabiso lomntu:
- Ekubeni engafundanga ukuxabisa impumelelo yakhe, umntu ngamnye unokuba sesichengeni sokugxekwa kunye nokuphathwa kakubi ngumgibi we-narcissistic.
- Overcommitment :
- Ngethemba lokufumana ekugqibeleni ukuqondwa okunqwenelwa kakhulu, umntu unokutyala imali ngokugqithisileyo kubudlelwane kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator.
Ukunqongophala kwenkxaso yeemvakalelo: Abazali bakhona ngokwasemzimbeni kodwa bakude ngokweemvakalelo
Ukunqongophala kwenkxaso yeemvakalelo yindlela echuliweyo kodwa enefuthe elinzulu lokungahoywa ngokweemvakalelo. Ibonakala ngokubakho kwabazali ngokomzimba, abanokubonelela umntwana ngezinto eziphathekayo, kodwa abahlala bekude ngokweemvakalelo okanye bengafumaneki. Le meko idala ingxaki ebuhlungu emntwaneni: ukuba nabazali bekhona ngokwasemzimbeni kodwa bangabikho ngokweemvakalelo.
Iimbonakalo zokunqongophala kwenkxaso yeemvakalelo
- Emotional Ukungakhathali:
- Abazali basabela kancinane okanye abanakho kwaphela ukusabela kwiimeko zeemvakalelo zomntwana, enoba zintle okanye zimbi.
- Umntwana ufunda ukungathembeli kubazali bakhe ngentuthuzelo okanye ukwabelana ngeemvakalelo.
- Ukungabikho konxibelelwano ngokweemvakalelo:
- Iincoko zihlala zilinganiselwe kwiinkalo eziphathekayo zobomi bemihla ngemihla.
- Abazali bayakuphepha okanye babonakale bengakhululekanga ngeengxoxo malunga neemvakalelo okanye amava ovakalelo.
- Ukungabi novelwano:
- Abazali banobunzima bokuzibeka ezihlangwini zomntwana okanye ukuqonda imbono yabo ngokweemvakalelo.
- Iingxaki zeemvakalelo zomntwana zidla ngokuncitshiswa okanye zingahoywa.
- Unakufumaneka kwimeko yoxinzelelo:
- Ngamaxesha anzima, umntwana akafumani ntuthuzelo okanye inkxaso kubazali bakhe.
- Umntwana ufunda ukulawula iimvakalelo ezingathandekiyo yedwa, kwanezo zibukhali.
- Gxila kwintsebenzo:
- Abazali banomdla kakhulu kwiziphumo zemfundo okanye impumelelo yangaphandle.
- Impilo-ntle engokweemvakalelo yomntwana ityeshelwa ngenxa yezinto aziphumezileyo.
Impembelelo kuphuhliso lomntwana
- Ubunzima bokulawula iimvakalelo:
- Umntwana akafundi ukulawula iimvakalelo zakhe ngendlela ephilileyo.
- Njengabantu abadala, oku kunokubangela ubunzima bokumelana noxinzelelo okanye iimeko ezibangelwa yimvakalelo.
- Emotional ukungakhuseleki:
- Umntwana uba nobudlelwane obungakhuselekanga, engazi ukuba unokuthembela kubazali bakhe ngenkxaso yeemvakalelo.
- Oku kunokukhokelela kubunzima bobudlelwane xa umntu emdala, ngoloyiko lokusondelelana okanye ukufuna ukusondela ngokugqithisileyo.
- Qelela kukuzimela ngokweemvakalelo:
- Umntwana ufunda ukuthembela kuye kuphela ukulawula iimvakalelo zakhe.
- Njengabantu abadala, oku kunokubonakala njengobunzima bokucela uncedo okanye ukwabelana ngobuthathaka.
- Ubukrelekrele beemvakalelo:
- Ngaphandle kwemodeli yokunxibelelana ngokweemvakalelo, abantwana banokuba nobunzima bokuchonga nokuvakalisa iimvakalelo zabo.
- Oku kunokukhokelela kubunzima kubudlelwane phakathi kwabantu kunye nobuchwephesha.
- Ukuziva ungento yangaphakathi:
- Ukungabikho konxibelelwano lweemvakalelo kunokudala ukuziva ungento yanto okanye ubulolo.
- Ebudaleni, oku kunokukhokelela ekuziphatheni okuhlawulelayo njengokuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo okanye ukukhotyokiswa.
Ukunqongophala kwenkxaso yeemvakalelo & ii-narcissistic manipulators ebudaleni
Ukunqongophala kwenkxaso yeemvakalelo ebuntwaneni kunokudala ukuba semngciphekweni okuthile kubuqhetseba be-narcissistic manipulators:
- Ukukhangela unxibelelwano lweemvakalelo:
- Ekungabi nalunxibelelwano ngokweemvakalelo ebuntwaneni, umntu lowo unokutsaleleka ngakumbi kuxinzelelo lweemvakalelo olubonelelwa ekuqaleni ngumgibi we-narcissistic.
- Ubunzima bokuchonga ukuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo:
- Ngenxa yokuba ungenayo imodeli yenkxaso yeemvakalelo enempilo, umntu unokuba nobunzima bokuqonda ukuziphatha kakubi okanye ukukhohlisa.
- Ukunyamezela ukungahoywa ngokweemvakalelo:
-
I-
- UE ngenxa yokungafumani inkxaso yeemvakalelo, umntu unokunyamezela ngokulula ukungakhathali okanye ukubanda kwe-manipulator ye-narcissistic.
- Ifuna ukuqinisekiswa ngokweemvakalelo:
- Ukunqongophala kokuqinisekiswa ngokweemvakalelo ebuntwaneni kunokudala imfuno emandla enokuthi i-narcissistic manipulator inokuthi ngamaxesha athile ixhaphake.
Iziphumo zengqondo yokungahoywa ngokweemvakalelo kuphuhliso
Ukungahoywa ngokweemvakalelo kunokuba neziphumo ezihlala zihleli ekukhuleni komntwana ngokwasengqondweni kunye neziphumo kubo bonke ubomi bomntu omdala.
- Hypersensitivity kwiimfuno zabanye
- Ukufuna rhoqo ingqalelo kunye nothando
- Ubunzima bokuchonga iimfuno zakho
- Ukungazithembi
- Ixhala lobudlelwane
Uphuhliso “lwabantu abakholisayo”
“abantu abakholisayo” iba licebo lokumelana nokungahoywa ngokweemvakalelo:
- Ulungelelwaniso oluhlawulelwayo: Ukuba “ngokugqibeleleyo” ukutsala ingqalelo elungileyo.
- Observational learning: Ukufakwa ngaphakathi kwendlela yokuziphatha kwabazali.
- Ukuphepha ukwaliwa: Ukwaneliseka rhoqo kwabanye ukuphepha ukulahlwa.
- Ukufuna ulawulo: Zama ukulawula indawo engalindelekanga.
Ikhonkco kunye nokuba sesichengeni kwii-narcissistic manipulators
Amava okungahoywa ngokweemvakalelo anokudala umhlaba ochumileyo wobudlelwane obuyityhefu njengabantu abadala, ngakumbi ngabaxhaphazi be-narcissistic.
Indlela Ukungahoywa Kweemvakalelo Kuseta Inqanaba
- Imfuno enzulu yokuqinisekiswa kwangaphandle: Ukufuna rhoqo imvume.
- Ubunzima bokuseka imida enempilo: Ukungakwazi ukuthi hayi.
- Umkhwa wokulungelelanisa ukuziphatha kakubi: Ukudideka phakathi kothando kunye nokukhohlisa.
- Ukuzazi okuphantsi: Ukuba sesichengeni sokuxhaphaza.
Ukuqhawula uMjikelo: UkuSingisa ekuPhileni kunye noBudlelwane obuphilileyo
Ukuyiqonda impembelelo yokungakhathalelwa ngokweemvakalelo linyathelo lokuqala elikhokelela ekunyangeni. Nazi ezinye izicwangciso zokuphilisa kunye nokukhula
- Uphuhliso lokuqinisekisa ngokwakho:
- Funda ukuqaphela kunye nokubhiyozela impumelelo yakho, kwanezona zincinci.
- Ziqhelise ukuba novelwano nokuzikhuthaza.
- Ukudala iNethiwekhi yeNkxaso eNgcono:
- Qinisa ubudlelwane nabantu abanikela ngenkxaso yokwenene kunye nokhuthazo olunyanisekileyo.
- Funda ukucela kwaye ufumane inkxaso yeemvakalelo.
- Impumelelo yokuloga:
- Gcina ijenali yezinto oziphumezileyo zemihla ngemihla, nezona zithozamileyo.
- Oku kunceda ukuphuhlisa ulwazi lwenkqubela phambili yomntu kunye neempawu zomntu ngamnye.
- Useto lweenjongo zomntu:
- Funda ukuseta iinjongo zakho, ngaphandle kokuqinisekiswa kwangaphandle.
- Bhiyozela imigama esele ifikelelwe ekuphumezeni ezi njongo.
- QESHO lombulelo:
- Phuhlisa indlela yokubulela rhoqo kuwe nakwabanye.
- Oku kunokukunceda ukulungelelanisa indlela ozijonga ngayo wena kunye nehlabathi.
Unyango lokwamkelwa ukuqinisekisa ukuphiliswa
- Attachment egxile kuNyango:
-
- Sebenza kwiipateni zokuncamathela ezingakhuselekanga eziphuhliswe ebuntwaneni.
- Funda ukwenza ubudlelwane obukhuselekileyo njengomntu omdala.
- Uphuhliso lwengqondo yeemvakalelo:
- Funda ukuchonga, ukubiza amagama kunye nokuvakalisa iimvakalelo zakho.
- Khulisa uvelwano kuwe nakwabanye.
- Qeqesha ukuzivela :
- Phuhlisa isimo sengqondo esikhathalayo kuwe, ngakumbi ngamaxesha anzima.
- Funda ukuzinika inkxaso ngokweemvakalelo owawungenayo kwasebuntwaneni.
- QQela unyango:
- Ukuthatha inxaxheba kumaqela enkxaso kunokubonelela ngamava okulungisa ukwabelana ngeemvakalelo kunye nokuqinisekiswa.
- I-Ukunyameka kunye nokwenza nengqondo :
- Obu buchule bunokukunceda ukuphuhlisa ulwazi olungcono ngeemeko zakho zovakalelo.
- Zikwakhuthaza ukulawulwa ngokweemvakalelo.
- Emotional journaling:
- Gcina ijenali ukuze uphonononge ngokukhululekileyo kwaye uveze iimvakalelo zakho.
- Oku kunokunceda ekuphuhliseni ukuziqonda ngcono iimfuno zomntu ngokweemvakalelo.
Ngaba ufuna ukuthetha nomntu oqondayo?
I-Cristina ixhasa amaxhoba e-narcissistic manipulators iminyaka. Isicwangciso sesenzo esibambekayo ukusuka kutshintshiselwano lokuqala. Iseshini yoqeqesho lwevidiyo yomntu ngamnye (iSkype okanye iWhatsApp) — €100 ngeseshoni nganye.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.