Imen Es – « Fantôme »: Zikhulule kubudlelwane obuyityhefu

Mhlawumbi uyasazi isandi esithi imen es phantom esibalisa ngandlel’ ithile ibali lomfazi owayenobudlelwane obuyityhefu. Phakathi kokuguqulwa kwengqondo, ubuxoki, iingxabano, ingxaki, ukungabikho, umsindo, ukudandatheka … le ngoma igxininisa imiphumo eyingozi ubuhlobo obunjalo bunokuba nayo. Ke, ukuba ukwimeko enjalo, nantsi inkqubo omawuyilandele ukuzahlula kwiqabane lakho elinetyhefu ukuze ube nomgangatho wobomi obungcono.

Yintoni ubudlelwane obuyityhefu?

Bubudlelwane obuyityhefu apho umntu omnye egcina iqabane lakhe likwimeko yokubandezeleka, ngaphandle kokuba nokwenzeka kokulungelelaniswa. Inokongeza kwiinyanga ezininzi okanye iminyaka emininzi. Apha, ulonwabo luye lwathabathel’ indawo ubukrakra. Ukuxakeka akusekho, ubomi bemihla ngemihla buzaliswe luhlaselo kunye nokujongana.

Nangona kunjalo, ubudlelwane abukho butyhefu ngokwendalo, buba yityhefu. Kwaye akusoloko kulula ukwenza uhlalutyo. Njengoko amazwi engoma ka-imen es phantome esithi:

Umbalisi uziva echaphazeleke ngokunzulu lubudlelwane apho engazange abubone ubunzima ekuqaleni.

Ngokuqhelekileyo asiyiqondi xa oku kusenzeka, ngakumbi xa sijongene ne i-narcissistic manipulator, umntu okhohlisayo okanye isiporho.

6 iimpawu zobudlelwane obuyityhefu

1. Domination: ukuba uyaqaphela ukuba iqabane lakho lisebenzisa ulawulo oluthile kuwe, ukuba linyanzelisa ukhetho lwakhe okanye umbono walo wezinto kuwe ngaphandle kokuthathela ingqalelo uluvo lwakho, usenokuba kubudlelwane obuyityhefu. Ngokwenene, kwisibini esinjalo, lulwalamano olulawulayo/olulawulayo olulawulayo.
2. Devaluation: kubudlelwane obuyityhefu, iqabane elikhohlisayo lihlala lithoba ixabiso kwaye lenzakalise, nokuba kungasese okanye esidlangalaleni. Oku kunokususela kumazwi alula angathandekiyo ukusa ekungcungcuthekisweni, kuquka izithuko nokugculelwa.
3. Ulawulo:Lo ngomnye umqondiso wobudlelwane obuyityhefu. Ukuba uneqabane elichitha ixesha labo lihlola izenzo zakho, lilawula inkangeleko yakho okanye likubuza ngezenzo zakho, kuxhomekeke kuwe.ukwenza umntu azive enetyala, kufuneka uzibuze imibuzo malunga nobume bobudlelwane bakho.
4. Ukunqongophala konxibelelwano: Ukuba uyaqaphela ukuba awunakuze uzisombulule iingxaki zakho ngeengxoxo okanye ngokutshintshiselana, oku kunokuba luphawu lokuba uhlala kubudlelwane obuyityhefu. Kolu hlobo lobudlelwane, incoko yababini idla ngokukhokelela kwiimpikiswano kunye neengxabano. Kwaye rhoqo kakhulu, icala elinye. Xa uzama ukuthetha, uzifumanisa ujongene nesiporho.
5. Ukuxhatshazwa ngokwasemzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo
6. Emotional blackmail

imen es ghost – Iziphumo zobudlelwane obuyityhefu
I-

Iziphumo zobudlelwane obuyityhefu zininzi. I-Imen Es izamile ukuzishwankathela kwi-kwayara yangaphambili:

Le nxalenye ibonisa ukubandezeleka ngokwasengqondweni kunye noxinzelelo olukhulu lweemvakalelo. Amazwi engoma ayixilongwa.

Njengoko sibona, ezi ziphumo zivakala kakhulu kwimpilo yomzimba njengakwimpilo yengqondo kunye nokuzithemba:

• Iziphumo ezibi ekuzithembeni: xa ubomi bakho bemihla ngemihla buphawulwa kukugxekwa, ukuthotywa, ukukhohlisa, ukuphelelwa ukuzithemba uphulukana nezakhono zakho ngokulula kwaye ulahlekelwe yiminqweno yakho. Usenokuhlakulela ukuziva uphantsi, uneentloni okanye uxhomekeke.
• Iziphumo ezibi kwimpilo yakho yeemvakalelo: kubudlelwane obuyityhefu, iqabane le-narcissistic liba namava okuqengqeleka kweemvakalelo, ukutshintshana phakathi kwamaxesha okuthantamisa nobundlobongela, phakathi kwezithembiso nokungcatsha, phakathi kokuncoma nezithuko. Usenokuziva ubhidekile, udanekile, unomsindo okanye ulusizi. Usenokuba nexhala, uxinzelelo okanye ukudakumba.
• Imiphumo emibi kwimpilo yakho yomzimba: iqabane lakho eliyityhefu linokukwenza ubandezelekeubundlobongela ngokwasemzimbeni, ngokwesondo okanye ngomlomo, nto leyo inokukhokelela kwintlungu, intlungu kunye nokulimala. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba ngenxa yobudlelwane bakho obunetyhefu, ukhathazwa kukudinwa, ukutya okanye ukuphazamiseka kokulala, ukugula okungapheliyo, njl.

Ngaba ungabugcina ubudlelwane bakho okanye ujike iphepha?

Akukho mpendulo jikelele kulo mbuzo, njengoko imeko nganye yahlukile. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba usebudlelwaneni apho iqabane lakho likukhokelela kubundlobongela bomzimba kunye namazwi, likwahlula, likugcina kwimeko yoloyiko, lilawula kwaye lingaziboni iimpazamo zakhe, kufuneka usabele ngokukhawuleza kwaye ufune uncedo. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuba uyavuma ukusebenza kuye kwaye ukhetha ukulandelwa konyango, unokuzama ukugcina ubudlelwane bakho.

Imen ziziporho-Uphuma njani kubudlelwane obuyityhefu?

Umbalisi ngokuthe ngcembe uyawuqonda umsantsa phakathi kwamathemba akhe kunye nolwalamano analo, indima yobuxoki kunye nesidingo sakhe sokubuyisela ukuzimela geqe.

Xa uqonda ukuba ukubudlelwane obuyityhefu, musa ukulinda de utshatyalaliswe ngokupheleleyo ukuba uhambe.  Nje ukuba uqonde iimpawu ezahlukeneyo, kufuneka ubaleke “njengenyamakazi” njengakwisiporho. Ngalo nto :

• Yakha inkqubo yenkxaso: ukwenza oku, unokusondela kusapho kunye nabahlobo bakho. Oku kuya kunceda ukunciphisa uxinzelelo lwengqondo. Unokufumana inkxaso kwiingcali.
• Hlala uqinile kwisigqibo sakho: Isiporho sakho okanye iqabane elinochuku lingagqiba ekubeni libuye ngokukubonisa umfanekiso ongeyonyani wakhe. Ngaphezu kwako konke, musa ukunikezela.
• Zingqonge ngepositivity: Ukuze uqhubele phambili, kufuneka uzixolele kwaye uzikhulule kwizinto zangaphambili. Kwakhona, zama ukwenza imithambo okanye izinto ezikwenza uncume ukuze uvelise iimvakalelo ezakhayo.

Ireferensi yebhayibhilografi kwi “imen es phantom”

Nazi iimbekiselo ezisixhenxe zebhayibhili kumxholo othi “iziporho” (okanye isenzeko esinxulunyaniswa nokungabonakaliyo):

1. Boudet, M. (2009). Phénomènes paranormaux et croyances : une approche psychologique. Paris : Éditions L’Harmattan.
2. Méridien, A. (2011). Les fantômes dans l’imaginaire collectif : entre croyance et science. Lyon : Éditions du CNRS.
3. Burgalassi, A., & François, E. (2013). L’Esprit des lieux : Fantômes et paranormal à travers le monde. Toulouse : Éditions Ouest-France.
4. Hervé, S. (2015). Psychologie des croyances et des phénomènes paranormaux. Paris : Éditions de l’École des hautes études en sciences sociales.
5. Rivière, M. (2017). Le paranormal : Enquête sur les croyances et les pratiques. Marseille : Éditions Geuthner.
6. Trémont, F. (2019). Fantômes et apparitions : une étude anthropologique. Strasbourg : Presses universitaires de Strasbourg.
7. Desjardins, P. (2020). Entre science et mystère : Les recherches sur les fantômes. Bruxelles : Éditions Academia.

Ukuqukumbela

Ukuqukumbela, ubudlelwane obuyityhefu bunokuba nemiphumo eyingozi kwimpilo yethu yomzimba nengqondo. Ingoma ethi “imen es phantome” ibonakalisa ngamandla oku kubandezeleka kunye nokubaluleka kokuqaphela iimpawu zobudlelwane obunjalo. Ukuba uzifumana ukwimeko efanayo, khumbula ukuba kubalulekile ukuzinyamekela uze ufune uncedo olufunekayo ukuze ukhululeke kulo mjikelo utshabalalisayo. Ukuphilisa kuqala ngokuqaphela kunye nesigqibo sokuhamba.

👇 Ukuya phambili:

• Manipulative Savior Syndrome – Ubudlelwane obuyityhefu?
• Am ndikubudlelwane obuyityhefu – iimpawu ezili-15 zokuthatha uvavanyo
• Indlela yokujongana ne-manipulator ye-narcissistic kubudlelwane obuyityhefu?