Yeka ukuziva unetyala – Nazi iingcebiso ezisi-7

Uvakalelwa kukuba awusoze wenze ngokwaneleyo, ukuba ugqithise ” kaninzi ” okanye into ongayenziyo “ayonelanga” , kusenokuba bhetele ukuzibuza ukuba akuzibeki tyala ngezinto ezincinane kusini na. Ukuziva unetyala rhoqo kuluphawu lokungazithembi. Kodwa wazi njani ukuba uziva unetyala?

Ungayeka njani ukuziva unetyala ngalo lonke ixesha? 7 iingcebiso

Nazi iingcebiso ezisi-7 zokunyanga ubutyala obuhlala uziva:

1.   Yazi impazamo yakho:

Kudla ngokuthiwa wonke umntu uyazenza iimpazamo, kodwa abanye bethu baziva benetyala ixesha elide kunabanye. Kwaye yile mvakalelo yokuziva sinetyala esitya ngaphakathi kwaye isithintele ekuchumeni. Ngoko ke i ukungazithembi. Funda kule mpazamo, yanga ingasebenza njengesifundo kwikamva, kodwa mayingakuvaleli entolongweni. Kuya kuba lula kuwe ukuba ungenzi impazamo efanayo kwixesha elizayo.

2.   Fault ayinakuphepheka:

Sithanda ukugxila kwiimpazamo zethu, kwaye oko kusithintela ukuba singonwabi kwaye siqhubele phambili. Zivumele ukuba wenze isono ngamaxesha athile. Ubomi apha emhlabeni abufezekanga yaye abuyi kufezeka. Kodwa kufuneka unyamezele, funda ekuweni kwakho kwaye uye phambili. Kuthiwa “yimvula nelanga ezenza izityalo zikhule” , nto leyo ethetha ukuba ukungafezeki neempazamo ziyinxalenye yobomi.

3.   Zibeke phambili ebomini:

Le mvakalelo ingaqhelekanga yokuba sikhula emva kweshwangusha labanye iyasithintela ukuba singonwabi. Ubutyala busilandela kuyo yonke indawo kwaye siyalibala ukuba into ebalulekileyo yile nto siziva ngayo. Ulibale ukugxekwa, ukunyanzeliswa kwabo bakungqongileyo ukuba kukho nayiphi na, kwaye ugxininise kuwe. Zama ukufumana eyona nguqulelo ilungileyo kuwe yonke imihla. Oku kuthintela i ukuzithiya.

4.   Wonke umntu unoxanduva lolonwabo lwakhe:

Kuyimfuneko ukuba ulonwabo lwakho lunciphise umzamo owenzayo kwabo bakungqongileyo. Wonke umntu unoxanduva lokuzinza kwakhe, kokubini ngokwasengqondweni nangokweemvakalelo. Uyathanda uku uzive unetyala xa abanye beneengxaki. Yazi ukuba ayisiyiyo eyona nto iphambili kuwe, okubalulekileyo nguwe kunye nophuhliso lwakho.

5.   Bvala iingcinga ezingeyomfuneko:

Iimeko ezithile zinokusongamela, sizive sinetyala kwaye zitya amandla ethu nexesha lethu. Ezi ziingcinga nje, kodwa azibonakalisi ubunyani..

Gxininisa kwizinto ezibalulekileyo, lawula iimvakalelo kunye neengcinga zakho ukuze uphile ngcono kwaye uzive unetyala elincinci.

6.   Buyisela inkqubela yakho:

Sihlala sigxila kwiimpazamo zethu, impazamo yethu yokugqibela, kodwa kwangaxeshanye, nathi senza izinto ezinkulu. Sifumana impumelelo encinci ngamaxesha, ngaphandle kokuba siqaphele. SO gxininisa kwizinto ezintle ozenzileyo inene, namhlanje iya kukwenzela okulungileyo.

7.   Guqula eyakho imbono yokuba netyala:

Ukunqanda ukubandakanyeka kwimeko ehlayo yokuba netyala, uphonononge inkcazelo yakho yetyala. Ngamanye amaxesha izinto azikufanelanga ukuziva loo mvakalelo imbi. 

Wazi njani xa uziva unetyala?

Kubalulekile ukuba wazi enoba imibuzo yemihla ngemihla ikwenza ube nexhala ukusa kwinqanaba lokuba uzive unetyala.

Ukuba ukhathazwa yimibuzo efana nale “Ngaba ngendenze ngcono ukuba…” , “Ukuba bendikwenzile oku, isiphumo siya kuba sesi …” Kuqinisekile ukuba uziva unetyala. Kwakhona ucinga ukuba “awufanelwanga ngcono” okanye ngokuchaseneyo, kwaye kukwenza uzive unetyala ngokubanzi.

Ukuxhalaba ngowona mthombo wetyala, iyasithintela ekuboneni ngokucacileyo kwiimpazamo zethu kwaye ngoko ichaphazela umbono wethu. 

Uthini umahluko phakathi kwehlazo netyala?

“Enye indlela yokwahlula ezi mvakalelo zimbini kukudwelisa iziganeko apho sasiziva sibi khona size sahlule ezo zibangelwa sisenzo okanye ukungasebenzi kwethu kwezo zinento yokwenza nendlela esijongwe ngayo nezisiphazamisayo.” utsho uYves-Alexandre Thalmann, isazi ngengqondo.

Kufuneka ukwazi ukwahlula shame ngumgwebo owenziwe ngabo bakungqongileyo ityala, isiphumo sesenzo sakho okanye ukungavumi kwakho ngokunxulumene nenyani. Dwelisa iimvakalelo zakho zosuku kwaye uzame ukuzohlula ukuze ufumane oko uziva ngokwenene kwaye ulungise amanyathelo akho.

Kutheni ndihlala ndiziva ndinetyala?

Isizathu sokuqala kukuba ngamanye amaxesha, sithatha yonke into ngokobuqu, ukuba izibakala ezithile zisisiqhamo sezenzo zethu. Nayiphi na isigwebo sisenza sizive sinetyala. Imvakalelo ke ingena engqondweni yethu kwaye iyasiphazamisa.

Kwakhona kusenokwenzeka ukuba sinako ukuphazamiseka phakathi kwemilinganiselo yethu kunye neemvakalelo zethu. Isenzo esisifaneleyo “wenze kakubi” inokusenza ukuba sithandabuze imilinganiselo yethu, emiliselwe kuthi ukususela ebuntwaneni.  

Ityala lethu livela phi?

I-priori, le mvakalelo ivela ebuntwaneni bethu. Sasidla ngokubethelelwa ngemilinganiselo kunye nemigaqo eyathi, kamva, yachasana nenyaniso esiphila kuyo. Abazali abangoogunyaziwe, imikhwa nezithethe iphelelwe lixesha kunokubangela le mvakalelo iqhubekayo yokuba netyala kuthi.

Ukungaqondwa kwabo basingqongileyo kusenokusenza sizive sinetyala ngezenzo zethu.

Ngaba sinokuyinyanga le mvakalelo yokuziva unetyala?

Impendulo nguewe. Wonke umntu uhlangabezana neemeko zakhe kodwa imvakalelo iyafana. Okubalulekileyo yindlela esizisingatha ngayo iimvakalelo zethu, ukuze zingasongameli. Unako ngokupheleleyo yeka isiphumo esifihlakeleyo sale mvakalelo ukubona izinto njengoko zinjalo, ungazami ukuguqula nantoni na ukuze ungaweli kwimpazamo.

Ngokudwelisa iimvakalelo zakho zemihla ngemihla, uya kuyazi loo nto awuyi kukwazi ukulawula yonke into, yenza yonke into igqibelele. Okungalindelekanga kunokwenzeka kumntu wonke kwaye ukuziva unetyala akunandawo ebomini bakho.

Ukuqokelela izenzo ezintle ozenzileyo emini, uya kukhululeka.

👇 Ukuya phambili:

• Uyandiqhatha kwaye undenza ndizive ndinetyala – Ndimele ndenze ntoni?
• Ityala kunye nokwenza ubutyala
• Umohlwaya njani umbhexeshi we-narcissistic? Iingcebiso ezi-5 zokwazi