Pha ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo yimeko apho umntu efuna uthando olukhulu kwabanye. Oku kunokubonwa nakwisibini, ubuhlobo okanye ubudlelwane bomsebenzi. Le ngxaki yokuziphatha inokukhubaza kakhulu.
Yintoni ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo?
Ukuzinikela ngokugqithiseleyo komnye umntu ukuze kufezekiswe iimfuno ezingokweemvakalelo, nto leyo eyonakalisa impilo-ntle yomntu.
Want to break free from this hold?
apho uthando nentlonipho yomntu ilawulwa ngabantu bangaphandle. Oku kuthetha ukuba umntu uya kufuna ukuvunywa, ukuhoywa okanye ukunconywa ngomnye umntu ngalo lonke ixesha. Olona phawu luya kugqama kakhulu kukungazithembi nokuba wenza ntoni na. Umntu uya kuthi ke arhoxe ngakumbi kwaye woyike ukulahlwa. Oku kuya kumkhokelela ekubeni amkele ezona ngcungcuthekiso ziqatha njengokungcungcuthekiswa okanye kwanogonyamelo ngokwasemzimbeni okanye ngokwasengqondweni. Esi sifo sibonwa ikakhulu phakathi kwezibini.
Kunokuvela phi ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo? Oonobangela
Ngoko ke yintoni eyenza ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo? Ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo kunokuba nemvelaphi eziliqela nezi zilandelayo:
- Umntu unezihlomelo ezisesichengeni. Abantu abakhawuleza banamathele baxhomekeke ngokulula kubukho babanye.
- UA umntu onendalo evaliweyo kakhulu. Abantu abaneentloni okanye abangenamdla nabo basesichengeni.
- Ukusilela okuphindaphindiweyo eluthandweni nako kunokuba ngunobangela. Ukungathembeki kunye nokuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo kudibaniswa nekhonkco le-causal. Umntu uya kuphelelwa ngamandla anamathele kwiqabane lakhe elizayo.
- Ubukho bomothuko othile okhoyo ngexesha lobuntwana nako kunokukhokelela koku.
Zeziphi iimpawu zokuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo?
Ukuba sizisekela kwindlela yokunciphisa, nokuba isazi sengqondo okanye i-psychotherapist, ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo kunokuzibonakalisa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Ukuchonga ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo akusoloko kulula, kuba kunokuzibonakalisa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Nangona kunjalo, iimpawu ezithile eziphindaphindiweyo zinokunceda ukuqonda olu hlobo lokuziphatha. Iimpawu zokuziphatha:
- Uloyiko olungenangqiqo lokulahlwa.
- morbid jealousy kwiqabane lomntu.
- Imvakalelo yokungoneliseki koko kwenziwa kuye.
- Ukuzithemba okuphantsi kakhulu.
- Kunzima kakhulu ukwenza izigqibo.
- Baneempawu zokuziphatha ezinyanzelekileyo.
- Kufuneka rhoqo ukuqinisekiswa ngabanye.
- Ukuziva ungento yanto okanye ungenakuzinceda xa omnye engekho.
- Ukudityaniswa kweemvakalelo apho imida phakathi kwakho kunye nabanye iba mfiliba.
- Ukukhangela rhoqo ukuqinisekiswa: Isidingo esigqithisileyo sokuncoma, ingqalelo, ukuqinisekiswa.
- Inkxalabo yokwahlula: Uloyiko olunzulu xa omnye umntu engekho, okanye xa ebonakala ekude.
- Ukuzincama: Ukulahla iimfuno zomntu, iminqweno kunye namaphupha akho ukukholisa omnye.
- Ityala eligqithisileyo okanye ixhala: Uhlala unexhala lokungalungelwa ngokwaneleyo okanye ukungafezekisi okulindelwe ngabanye.
- Emotional fusion: Ubunzima bokwenza izigqibo wedwa, ukuchaza iinqobo zomntu okanye ukugcina imisebenzi eyahlukileyo.
- Isidingo esihlala sikhona sokuqinisekiswa – EZIXHOMEKILEYO Abantu abaxhomekeke ngokweemvakalelo bahlala befuna imvume kwabanye. Basenokufuna ukuziva bexatyiswe kwaye beqinisekisiwe ngokuqhubekayo ukuze bazive belungile kubudlelwane.
- Uloyiko olugqithisileyo lokulahlwa – OEzona mpawu zicacileyo kukoyika ukulahlwa. Ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo kudla ngokubangela ukuba abantu boyike ukuphulukana nomntu abaxhomekeke kuye, nto leyo enokubakhokelela ekubeni balawule indlela yokuziphatha okanye banyamezele iimeko ezingathandekiyo ukuze baphephe ukwahlukana.
- Ukuzincama – lAbantu abaxhomekeke kubo banokuzilibala ukwanelisa omnye, betyeshela iimfuno zabo, iminqweno kunye neminqweno yabo. Babeka abanye kumbindi wendalo yabo, nokuba oko kuthetha ukulahla imilinganiselo yabo okanye izinto abazithandayo.
- Ukuxhalaba kunye nokuxhalaba xa engekho omnye – EZIXHOMEKILEYO Abantu abaxhomekeke ngokweemvakalelo baziva bexhalabile xa omnye engekho okanye engekho. Oku kunokukhokelela ekuziphatheni okunyanzelekileyo, njengokuthumela imiyalezo emininzi okanye ukujonga rhoqo ukuba omnye umntu ulungile na kubo.
Imizekelo ebonakalayo yokuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo:
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- Usoloko ufuna ukuba kunye nabanye, de kube yingozi kubahlobo babo okanye imisebenzi yobuqu.
- Zincame ukuze abanye bazive belungile, nokuba oko kudala ukungonwabi.
- Ukukholelwa ukuba awuphelelanga ngaphandle komnye, kwaye uziva ungenanto xa engekho.
Phila ngokuxhomekeke ngokweemvakalelo
Ukuxhomekeka Kweemvakalelo Okanye Uthando?
Ngoko ke wazi njani ukuba luthando okanye ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo? Kukho iindlela ezahlukeneyo ezikuvumela ukuba ubone ukuba luthando ngokwenene na okanye hayi.
- Uthando alukho ukuzalisa ukusilela ngokweemvakalelo. Asilucengi uthando ukuba luyinyani ngokwenene. Isekelwe kwinqanaba elilinganayo. Ukuba uhlala kuphela kunye neqabane lakho, kwaye ukwesaba ukuhlukana kunamandla kakhulu, oku kuxhomekeke kwimvakalelo. Ulungelelwaniso lweemvakalelo alulungelelananga.
- Emotional ukuxhomekeka kuya kukutyhala ukuba uhlale ufuna ubukho bezinye. Ethandweni, kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuziva uphoswa ukuba uzifumana usuka kude nomntu omthandayo. Ngelixa umntu oxhomekeke ngokweemvakalelo akanakucinga owona mgama ulula.
- Kwenzeka ukuba ukuhlaselwa okuncinci kwekhwele kubonakala nakwisibini esithandanayo esizinzile, esisekelwe ekuthembeni. Nangona kunjalo, yi-ill kumxholo wokuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo.
- Uthando olufunyanwa ngumntu oxhomekeke ngokweemvakalelo luthando olucalanye.. Ukuze uthando phakathi kwabantu ababini lube sempilweni yaye luhlale luhleli, lumele luhambe ngeendlela zombini. Oku kuthetha ukuba umntu uya kuba lula ukuba yinto autyekelo lweemvakalelo. Nguye ocinga ukuba uyaludinga ngokwenene olu lwalamano.
- Okokugqibela, Iimvakalelo zomelele kakhulu kwaye azizinzanga kumlutha. Ukuba luthando lokwenene, omabini amaqabane aya kuthanda ukufumana ibhalansi yendalo yeemvakalelo zabo.
- Uthando olulungeleleneyo = Ukuzihlonela kunye nabanye, ukuzimela ngokweemvakalelo, ukuxhasana.
- Ukuxhomekeka ngokomzwelo = Kufuneka “ugcinwe”, ukulahleka kwesazisi, ukwesaba rhoqo ukulahlwa.
Iingozi zokuXhomekeka ngokweMphefumlo kuBuso be-Narcissistic Manipulator
Enye yeengxaki ezinkulu ezisikhokelela ekubeni sithi kufuneka sizikhulule ekuxhomekekeni ngokweemvakalelo ivela kolu loyiko. Umntu angazifumana ejongene ne-a manipulator narcissistic oya kuthatha ithuba lobuthathaka bakhe. Ngendlela efanayo nomntu ochaphazelekayo ngu umsindisi syndrome, ikhoboka lixhoba eliphambili le-narcissistic manipulator. Ungumntu onobuntu obuthuntu kakhulu nocela ingqalelo. Yiyo loo nto umntu osebenzisa i-narcissistic manipulator enokuthi anamathele kuyo.
Ezona zizathu zokuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo
- Ubuntwana kunye neepateni zentsapho:
- Ukungabikho komsa okanye ukuqinisekiswa ngexesha lobuntwana.
- Abazali abakhuselekanga ngokugqithiseleyo okanye abangekho ngokweemvakalelo, bedala ukunqongophala kokhuseleko lweemvakalelo.
- Iipateni zobudlelwane obungasebenziyo okanye obuyityhefu kusapho (umzekelo, umzali omnye oxhomekeke komnye ngokweemvakalelo).
- Uloyiko olunengqiqo:
- Uloyiko lokulahlwa: Iinkolelo ezinxulumene namava exesha elidlulileyo apho ukulahlwa kuye kwafunyanwa njengomothuko.
- Ukungazithembi: Ukuziva ungalufanelanga uthando okanye ulwazelelelo lwabanye.
- Ukoyika ukwaliwa: Ukuthandabuza rhoqo malunga nokukwazi komntu ukuthandwa ngesiqu sakhe.
- Impembelelo yeenkolelo ezinemida:
- “Andiyonto ngaphandle komnye”, “Omnye kuphela umthombo wam wolonwabo”, “Kufuneka ndizincame ukuze ndithandwe”.
- Iimodeli zobudlelwane kumajelo eendaba kunye noluntu: Umbono wothando olugqibeleleyo noludibeneyo, oluhlala lugqithiswa ziifilimu kunye nenkcubeko eyaziwayo.
Iziphumo zokuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo
- Iimvakalelo ezingalunganga:
- Inkxalabo kunye noxinzelelo: Ubomi beemvakalelo obungazinzanga, ukunyuka kwexhala kwingcamango yokulahlekelwa enye.
- Ukwahlukaniswa koluntu: Ukulahlekelwa ngabahlobo okanye ubudlelwane obubalulekileyo ngenxa yokugxila kwelinye.
- Udano kunye nenzondo: Ukuxinezeleka kubudlelwane, ukuziva ungaxabisekanga okanye ungahoywa.
- Impembelelo kubudlelwane:
- UUbudlelwane obunokulinganisela apho umntu uhlala enika ngaphezu komnye.
- Toxic dynamics: Ukuba omnye umntu akaxhomekekanga kangako, unokuziva efuthaniselwe.
- Iingxwabangxwaba zarhoqo: Ngenxa yokuba sinyanzelisa ukulindela kwethu okugqithisileyo kunye neemfuno kwelinye.
- Emotional exhaustion: Omnye unokuziva edinwa ngokweemvakalelo ngokuhlala ehlangabezana noko kulindelwe ngumntu oxhomekeke kuye.
- Iziphumo zokuzithemba:
- Ukuziva ungakufanelekeli ukuthandwa ngenxa yokuba ungubani na.
- Ukulahlekelwa ukuzithemba: Uluvo lokungakwazi ukonwaba wedwa.
Ungazikhulula njani kukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo?
Ukuze ufezekise unyango lokuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo kwaye uphume kuyoimpembelelo yengqondo, nantsi iziseko ezibhekiselele kubudlelwane obulungeleleneyo.
- Khangela iingcambu zengxaki. Ngamanye amaxesha olu loyiko lokulahlwa luvela kwi- kwintlungu edlulileyo. Ngokubanzi, ii-traumas ezinxulunyaniswa nobuntwana zezona zikhankanywe kakhulu. Ke, thatha inyathelo emva ebomini bakho kwaye wamkele ukuba kwenzekile ukuze uqhubele phambili.
- Kufuneka ukuba u- wazi ukuba umlutha ubuchaphazela njani ubudlelwane bakho. Kufuneka uthathe ixesha ukuze ubone ukuba ubudlelwane bakho busebenza njani. Zibuze: kutheni le pateni iqhubeka iphindaphinda?
- Kufuneka usete imida kubudlelwane bakho. Oku kuya kukuvumela ukuba ukwazi ukunciphisa iimvakalelo zakho. Zibekele umda wokunyamezela kwaye uhlale uqinile kuwo. Kubalulekile ukuba ube nesiyalo ukuze ungathabatheki ziimvakalelo zakho.
- Funda ukuphuhlisa ukuzithemba kwakho. Ukwenza oku, ziphe ixesha lakho kwaye wenze imisebenzi ekwenza uzive uxatyiswe.
- Kubalulekile ukuba uqole ngokweemvakalelo. Eli nyathelo linokufuna uncedo; ukungenelela kwengcali yezengqondo kucetyiswa ngamandla. Le ngxaki inokuba nzima ukuyiqonda ngabo bakufutshane nawe, yiyo loo nto ukusondela kwisazi sezengqondo kucetyiswa.
- Yazi ngale ngxaki:
- Nakana iimpawu kwaye wamkele ukuba ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo ngumqobo kubomi obanelisayo.
- Ukomeleza ukuzithanda :
- Funda ukuzithanda, ukuzihlonipha nokuzinika ukubaluleka.
- Sebenza ngokuzithemba kwakho: zibone ufanelwe luthando, ngaphandle kwabanye.
- Ukwakha ukuzimela ngokweemvakalelo:
- Phuhlisa iminqweno, imisebenzi kunye neeprojekthi zomntu ngaphandle kobudlelwane.
- Funda ukonwaba wedwa, ukuhlakulela inkampani yakho ngaphandle kokuzama ukuzalisa isithuba nabanye.
- Seka imida esempilweni:
- Funda ukuthi “hayi” ngaphandle kokuziva unetyala.
- Zihloniphe iimfuno zakho kwaye ungancami imilinganiselo yakho kwabanye.
- Ukuthintela ukuphazamiseka ngokweemvakalelo:
- Gcina ubuwena, izimvo, kunye neemvakalelo.
- Kuphephe ukulibala iinjongo zakho okanye amaphupha akho okwanelisa abanye.
- Ukuzikhulula kuloyiko lokulahlwa:
- Ukusebenza ekulawuleni ixhala: Ukucamngca, ukuphumla, ukubhalwa kweendaba, unyango.
- Ukwakha ukuzithemba: Ukuba nokholo kwizakhono zakho zokuthandwa ngaphandle kokuzithoba kwiindlela zokuziphatha ezixhomekeke.
- Ukufuna inkxaso ngaphandle :
- Qhagamshelana nonyango okanye umqeqeshi ukuba usebenze kwiingcambu zokuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo.
- Thatha inxaxheba kumaqela enkxaso okanye iiforam zokuthetha nabanye abantu abanamava afanayo.
Ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo kunye nobudlelwane obuyityhefu
Ukuxhomekeka ngokwasemoyeni kunokukhokelela kubudlelwane obungalungelelananga okanye obuyityhefu, apho elinye iqabane lizithathela kuye ngokucwangcisiweyo ukugcina ubudlelwane, ngelixa elinye lithatha isimo esilawulayo okanye esilawulayo. Oku kuguquguquka kwamandla kwenza kube nzima kumntu okhobokileyo ukuba ahlukane, njengoko behlala besoyika ukuphulukana neyona nto iphambili yokuzinza kwabo ngokweemvakalelo.
Abantu abaxhomekeke ngokweemvakalelo badla ngokutsaleleka kubuntu be-narcissistic, bedala umjikelo okhohlakeleyo wokulawula kunye nokulawula. Iqabane le-narcissistic linokukhuthaza oku kuxhomekeka ekumiseni ubukhosi babo, ngelixa umntu oxhomekeke kuyo edlala indima ephantsi, enamathele ngakumbi kwisenzo ngasinye sokuqaphela okanye uthando oluvela kwelinye.
Imiphumo yokuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo
Ukukhotyokiswa ngokweemvakalelo kunempembelelo enkulu kwimpilo yengqondo nakwintlalontle yeemvakalelo. Abantu abanomlutha banokufumana ukungonwabi okunzulu, ukuxhalaba, kunye neempawu zokudakumba.
- Ukuwohloka kwempilo yengqondo – Ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo kunxulunyaniswa namanqanaba aphezulu oxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo. Isidingo esiqhubekayo sothando kunye nokuqinisekiswa kunokukhokelela kwiingcinga ezigqithisileyo kunye nokungakwazi ukuziva ulungile ngaphandle komnye umntu, ukudala imeko yoxinzelelo oluqhubekayo.
- Ubunzima bobudlelwane – Ukungalingani ngokweemvakalelo kunokubangela ukungquzulana kubudlelwane. Umntu okhobokisayo udla ngokuba nomona, ukungazithembi kunye nokunganeliseki, nto leyo enokuwohloka umgangatho wobudlelwane kwixesha elide.
- Ukulahleka kwesazisi – Ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo kubangela ukuba abantu baphulukane nobuni babo ngokuthe ngcembe. Ubomi babo bugxile kwabanye, bube yingozi kwiminqweno yabo, ubuhlobo babo kunye neminqweno yabo yobuqu.
Kutheni kunzima kangaka ukoyisa ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo?
Ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo kunzima ukoyisa ngenxa yothando olunzulu abantu abaluvayo ngeqabane labo okanye umntu ekuthethwa ngaye. Intlalontle yabo kunye nolonwabo lwabo luxhomekeke kobu budlelwane, nayiphi na ingcamango yokwahlukana ivelisa a intlungu nzulu. Ngaphaya koko, ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo kuhlala kubandakanya inqanaba elithile lokukhanyela, apho umntu okhobokileyo engabuqondi ngokupheleleyo ubungakanani bokuxhomekeka kwakhe okanye ale ukuvuma ukuba ubudlelwane bube yityhefu.
Indima yokwenzakala kunye nokuncamathela
Ukwenzakala ngokweemvakalelo okanye ukungabikho kokuncamathela okukhuselekileyo ebuntwaneni kudlala indima ebalulekileyo ekwakhekeni kokuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo. Iipateni zobudlelwane obusekelwe ekulahlekeni okanye ukuhluthwa ngokweemvakalelo kunokuphindwa kwakhona xa umntu emdala, okwenza kube nzima ukubaleka lo mjikelo wokuxhomekeka.
Izitshixo zobudlelwane obulungeleleneyo
Kulwalamano olulungeleleneyo, mntu ngamnye uyaphumelela eyedwa ngoxa esabelana ngonxibelelwano lweemvakalelo nomnye. Uthando luguqulela kwinkxaso yokuxhasana, apho umntu ngamnye ehlonipha indawo kunye neemfuno zomnye ngaphandle kokunamathela kakhulu kuye.
Ngubani onokubhenela kuye ukuze akuncede uphume kuXhomekeko ngokweemvakalelo
Isisombululo sokuxhomekeka kothando sesomzuzwana unyango nge psychologist okanye psychotherapist. Akukho unyango lweziyobisi okwangoku. Ngoko ke, ukungenelela kwengcali yindlela engcono kakhulu yokuba le ngxaki yokuziphatha ingaphezulu kwayo yonke into edibene nobuntu bomntu. Ukongeza koku, kuyacetyiswa ukuba ujike kubathandekayo bakho kwaye ngakumbi isangqa sakho sabahlobo umzekelo. Ungagxili kumntu omnye, ukulungiswa ngumkhwa ekufuneka upheliswe ukukugcina kude nomlutha.
Ngaba ufuna uncedo lokuphumelela?
Akuyomfuneko ukuba ujamelane nolu vavanyo uwedwa. I-Cristina ikuxhasa ngamanyathelo abambekayo kunye nesicwangciso sesenzo somntu. Iseshini yoqeqesho lwevidiyo yomntu ngamnye (iSkype okanye iWhatsApp) — €100 ngeseshoni nganye.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.