I-manipulator ye-narcissistic kunye nokufa kukanina – Usabela njani kwilahleko yakhe?

I-narcissistic manipulator ngumntu ongenaluvelwano kwaye unomdla kuye kuphela. Ngoko, ngaba unokuchatshazelwa kukusweleka kukanina? Usenokuvakalelwa njani kwimeko enjalo? Makhe sijonge i-pn kunye nokusweleka kukamama wakhe. 

Wakhula njani umxhaphazi we-narcissistic?

I-narcissistic manipulator ngokubanzi ikhulela kwindawo enobutshaba kukukhula kwakhe ngokweemvakalelo. Lo ngumntu oye wangabi naluthando kakhulu okanye wafumana ubunzima obunzima, obavumela ukuba bahlakulele ukuphazamiseka kobuntu. Enyanisweni, abazali bakhe okanye abagcini basemthethweni abazange bamphathe umntwana ngeyona ndlela ifanelekileyo.   

Aba bantu ngokubanzi bafumana ukwenzakala ngokweemvakalelo ebuntwaneni babo. Ngenxa yoko, ezi zenzo zonxunguphalo zininzi zibaqhawula kubuchule babo bokuyila kunye neemvakalelo zabo. Oku kufaka isandla kwi-desocialization yeemvakalelo ukunika indlela yokungena. Kungenxa yoko le nto uya kuqaphela ukuba i-narcissistic manipulator idinga ukunconywa kwaye ukungazithembi.

Impembelelo yokusweleka koMzali oyiNarcissistic

Ukukhalela umzali onenkani ngomntu okhohlisayo kunokuzisa isiqabu. Yazi ukuba kunzima, ukuba akunakwenzeka, ukuba lo mntu adibanise neemvakalelo zabo.

Ukongeza, abaqhubi be-narcissistic abasoloko benobudlelwane obuhle nabazali babo. Ngoko ke akumangalisi ukubona ukuba ukufa komnye wabo akunampembelelo kubomi babo. Ukufelwa ngumzali akusayi kuvakala njengokufelwa ngumntu ongenaluvelwano. I-manipulator ye-narcissistic ayikujongi, ngakumbi abanye, njengabantu.

Umgibi we-narcissistic kunye nokufa kukanina: Wenza ntoni?

Ubudlelwane phakathi umbhexeshi we-narcissistic kunye nosapho lwakhe izele yimpikiswano. Kwaye, kunokwenzeka ukuba ukufa kukanina akutshintshi kakhulu ebomini bakhe ngenxa yezizathu ezithathu:

I-manipulator ye-narcissistic ayinaluvelwano nakubani na

I-narcissist ayinavelwano kwaye kunzima kuye ukuba novelwano, kunye nosapho lwakhe. Oku kungabi naluvelwano kungqina ukuba akanako ukunxibelelana nokulahlekelwa ngumntu angamgqala njengonjalo. Ngoko ke unokufumana ukuswelekelwa ngumama wakhe ngendlela eyahlukileyo kunaye. I-manipulative narcissist ayisoze ibe nomdla kwiimvakalelo zakho, kungakhathaliseki ukuba ngubani osweleke kwintsapho yakhe.

Ngapha koko, i-narcissist iye yachitha ixesha ekhanyela naziphi na iimvakalelo ezinokumdibanisa nabanye. Oku kuphazamiseka ngokweemvakalelo kuthetha ukuba akaziva kakhulu emva kokusweleka kukanina.        

I-manipulator ye-narcissistic ayinakuncamathela nakubani na

Kuya kufuneka uqonde ukuba yonke intlungu iqala ibhekiswa ngaphakathi, kwaye ke, umntu. Uhlala uzibuza ukuba uya kwenza ntoni emva kokuphulukana nomzali okanye umntu obalulekileyo ebomini bakho. Oku kulungile kuba unxibelelene nomntu ekuthethwa ngaye. Ngelishwa, oku akunjalo kwi-manipulator ye-narcissistic.

I-narcissist ayikho ireferensi kwaye ayichongi nabani na ngaphandle kwakhe. Akakwazi ukunxulumana nomnye umntu kuba ecinga ukuba usengozini kwaye ukhetha ukungazifaki emngciphekweni. I-narcissistic manipulator iya kuhlala ingakhathali xa ijongene nokugula kukanina okanye amalungu osapho. Ukungabikho kwesi sibophelelo sokuncamathela kuvumela umxhasi we-narcissistic ukuba angabi nakho ukudideka okanye ubuzaza bentlungu.  

Umbhexeshi we-narcissistic ubona umama wakhe njengotshaba

Ingxaki ngamanarha kukuba babona oonina njengeentshaba. Abafumani naziphi na iimvakalelo ezintle ezifana nosizi, uthando, ukuzisola okanye usizi. Ejongene nokufa kukanina, i-narcissist iya kufumana imvakalelo yokwaneliseka kunye / okanye isiqabu.

Uninzi lwee-manipulators ze-narcissistic ziye zakha imvakalelo yokuzibona ejolise ekuthatheni ingqalelo ukuba iimvakalelo zabo zokulahlwa, ukungcatshwa okanye ukungathembeki okubaqhubele ekubeni baphile ngokufihlakeleyo, beza ngokuchanekileyo kubudlelwane babo bokuqala. Kwaye olu lwalamano lolo lwabazali okanye amalungu osapho. Ukufa komnye waba bantu abajonga njengabachasi ke ngoko kuyimbuyekezo kwi-narcissist. 

Ezinye iintshukumo zombhexeshi we-narcissistic emva kokusweleka kukanina?

Indlela umntu asabela ngayo kwi-narcissistic manipulator emva kokufa kukanina inokumangalisa ngokuqinisekileyo. Ukusabela kuka-narcissist kugcwele inzondo kunye nenzondo, kuba uyazi ukuba akasekho ngqalelo. Ukusweleka kukamama wakhe kumenza abonakale kuye xa eyifuna.

Uya kufumana indlela echuliweyo yokubonisa obunye ubuso kuwe, obo bomntu ochatshazelwa kukuhamba komzali wakhe. Injongo yayikukunikela le ngqalelo kuye kwakhona, nangona wayenomsindo ngakunina ofileyo. Kwaye ukuba ukhe walilela ukulahlekelwa ngumama wakhe (umama okhohlisayo), iya kuba yilahleko ebonakalayo.      

Isishwankathelo, iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokusabela ezinokubakho ze-narcissistic manipulator zezi:

• Esebenzayo, hayi ngokweemvakalelo, ukungabikho
• Imfuneko yokuziphindezela, kuba ayizange ibe khona kuye
• Umsindo wokutsala umdla ngokufa kwakhe 

Narcissistic Perverse – Indlela yokuNceda ukujamelana nokuFa komntu omthandayo?

Ukunika uncedo kumntu othanda i-narcissistic kunye nozingcayo kunokuphazamisa iimvakalelo. Usenokufumanisa oku ilinge elichasayo, kuba akanxulumananga neemvakalelo zakho. Ukumnceda ukuba oyise ubunzima kunye nosizi lokufelwa kunokugqalwa njengoku inetyhefu. Kwakhona kunokwenzeka ukuba uya kukuhlasela.

Le ndlela yokusabela inokuchazwa yinto yokuba i-narcissist itshabalalise nayiphi na imvakalelo enokuthi imvumele ukuba avuleleke kwabanye. Ngoko ke unokufumana amazwi akhubekisayo okanye intsabelo, nto leyo eyenza imeko ibe nzima ngakumbi. Ukumnceda ukuba aphulukane nokulahlekelwa ngumama wakhe ngaphandle kokudala ihlazo, unokwenza oku kulandelayo:

• Thumela amazwi ovelwano

Injongo kukumthumelela ikhadi lovelwano. Ukusabela kwe-manipulator ye-narcissistic ekulahlekelweni ngumama kuphawulwa kukungakhathali. Kunokuba uthethe ngovelwano ngokobuqu, thumela ikhadi elincinane endaweni yoko. Ngamanye amaxesha kungcono ukugcina umgama okhuselekileyo kwi-narcissist. 

• Ncoma incwadi

I-narcissistic manipulator ngokuqinisekileyo ayibuhlungu, kodwa unokucebisa incwadi elungileyo ethetha ngalo mbandela. Eli linyathelo elihle kakhulu eliya kumvumela ukuba afunde ngakumbi ngentlungu. I-Narcissists idla ngokugxeka yonke into kwaye ifuna ukuba kwindawo ebonakalayo. Mhlawumbi incwadi yakho iya kumkhuthaza ukuba athethe ngamava akhe entlungu.

Ireferensi yebhayibhiliyo malunga “nomxhaphazi we-narcissistic kunye nokufa kukanina”

Nalu uluhlu lweembekiselo ezisixhenxe zebhayibhilografi kumxholo othi “i-narcissistic manipulator kunye nokufa kukanina”:

1. Groupe de recherche sur les personnalités narcissiques. (2015). Le narcissisme : entre passion et souffrance. Éditions In Press.
2. Gérard, R. (2013). Le narcissisme : les mères et leurs enfants. Presses Universitaires de France.
3. Klein, M. (2016). Maternité et narcissisme. Éditions Payot.
4. Soler, C. (2018). La jalousie et le narcissisme. Éditions Érès.
5. Lévy, J. (2012). Le narcissisme et ses dérives. Éditions Odile Jacob.
6. Miller, J. B. (2014). La voix des femmes : narcissisme et relations familiales. Éditions La Découverte.
7. Bénesteau, J. (2017). Les relations toxiques : comprendre le pervers narcissique. Éditions Eyrolles.

Conclusion

Ukuqukumbela, iinarcissists azinaluvelwano kwaye azibi nazo iimvakalelo ezintle. I-manipulator ye-narcissistic kunye nokufa kukanina ayikho enye into ngaphandle kwe-farce, umboniso we-ego owenzakeleyo. Ngaphandle kokuzila, i-narcissist ayikwazi ukuzibuza nangayiphi na indlela; uziva engcatshiwe ngumama wakhe ongasekhoyo.