Umsindisi syndrome eluthandweni

Savior syndrome eluthandweni: “Undisindisile sithandwa sam!!” “Uligorha lam”, olu hlobo lwebinzana oluphindwaphindwa kwiinoveli ezithambileyo lubonakala luyinto nje eqhelekileyo. Ngoko ke kunzima ukukholelwa ukuba oku kunokuthatyathwa nzulu kubudlelwane bokwenyani. Nangona kunjalo, kumxholo we-syndrome yomsindisi othandweni, le yimeko enokuthi ibonwe.

Savior syndrome eluthandweni: yintoni na?

Nangona ingadweliswanga kwi-Diagnostic and Statistical Manual ye-Mental Disorders. THE umsindisi syndrome Kuhlala kukuphazamiseka kwengqondo okukhoyo kuluntu lwethu. Izibonakalisa kwisidingo soku ukuqatshelwa kunye nombulelo kwabo bamngqongileyo.

Kwisibini esitshatileyo, oku ngokuyintloko kubangela ukuba umntu onesi sifo uya kuba nako funa ukwaziwa. Oku kuthetha ukuba umntu uya kubonisa a ukuthanda abanye abantu ucaphukela iqabane lakhe. Ubukho bolu lindelo lunokuba neziphumo eziyingozi kuba umntu uya kufuna ingqalelo ekhethekileyo kwinto ayenzayo.

Ukubandezeleka kwi-savior syndrome eluthandweni: Iimpawu ekufuneka zikulumkisile

Ukuba sizisekela kufundo lwe UMary C. Lamia Kwaye UMarylin J. Krieger, ezimbini zezengqondo zaseMelika, kukho imiqondiso eyahlukeneyo ekwazisayo ngale ndlela yokuziphatha.

• Uya kuthanda ukugubungela iqabane lakhe lothando nge-love bombing. Ebudeni beli nqanaba, emehlweni akhe, uthando lwakhe luvutha ngumlilo. Kuya kuba njalo ukuba omnye uya kuziva ezaliswe luthando ngaphandle kokubona okwenzekayo emva kwayo.
• Nabani na ochatshazelwa yile syndrome uya kunikela ingqalelo ekhethekileyo kwisimo seqabane lakhe. Ngaloo ndlela uya kuziphepha naziphi na iintetho ezenzakalisayo.
• Kwezinye iimeko, uhlala kubudlelwane ngaphandle kwetyala elilula. Nangona akasenamdla wokwenene komnye. Ukuzibona njengomsindisi wakhe, akayi kufuna ukuhamba.
• Usenokutyekela ekukholelweni ukuba uyakwazi okulungileyo kumlingane wakho. Umsindisi uya kufuna ukulawula oko kwenziwa esinye isiqingatha sakhe ukumkhusela.
• Umthandi womsindisi kunyango ahluphekayo. Owokugqibela unokubeka iimfuno zakhe ngasemva kwaye azigxeke kakhulu. Kwanakwinqanaba lokuba iqabane lakhe aliyixabisi imigudu ayenzayo emehlweni akhe. Oku kunokutyhala umsindisi ukuba aphume enetyala-phrases.

Ngaba isibini esisekelwe kuthando lomsindisi syndrome sihlala?

Uthandana nini kwaye njani nomsindisi wakho? Ngaba luthando olunyanisekileyo? Abantu abaninzi bayawubuza lo mbuzo. Isizathu sivela kwinto yokuba siye sicinge ukuba umntu oza kusikhupha engxakini nguye esimdingayo. Sizixelele ukuba lomntu makabe secaleni kwam. Oku kuqiniswa ngakumbi umntu hypersensitive, ukuba umntu onesifo somsindisi uya kuba yinto efanelekileyo yakhe.

Nangona kunjalo, olu hlobo lobudlelwane luyingozi kakhulu. Isizathu soku kungenxa yokuba ukuncamathela ukuba bobabini abantu bafumana kusekelwe kwingxaki. Eyokugqibela ngukude nokuba yinto ezinzileyo, oku kungazinzi kunokubangela ukuba isibini sohlukane. Ngokwenene, ukuba ekuqaleni, sinokucinga ukuba umsindisi kunye nomsindisi banobuntu obuhambelanayo. Ekuhambeni kwexesha oku akunakwenzeka ngokwenene.

Umsindisi syndrome eluthandweni – Ngaba ubudlelwane obuyityhefu?

Kwezinye iimeko, oku kunokujika ngokukhawuleza kuhlobo lobudlelwane obuyityhefu. Ngokukodwa ukuba umsindisi uthatha isigqibo sokuzinika ulawulo olungaphezulu. Unokwenza isigqibo sokulawula ngakumbi iqabane lakhe. Unobangela oya kukhankanywa ngokubanzi uya kuba sisibakala sokuba ekwenza oku ukuze kulungelwe yena. Kwaye uyazi ukuba yintoni elungileyo kumlingane wakhe. Kungenxa yoku engqondweni ukuba umsindisi unokuguqula abe yi-manipulator ye-narcissistic. Uya kuxhaphaza abasindisiweyo abangayi kukwazi ukuziphikisa ezi zigqibo.

Elinye inqaku eliya kuphembelela ubuthi bobu budlelwane lilele kubume bomsindisi. Le yimeko kasugrogrisa umenzi. Ukuze angaphulukani nomntu ongumthombo wakhe wokuqondwa, ukulungele ukwenza nantoni na. Oku kunokubandakanya iindlela eziphambili zokukhohlisa okanye uxinzelelo. Ukuya kwinqanaba lokuba agcine ixhoba lakhe kubudlelwane uya kujika abe yi-manipulator ye-narcissistic. Ngoko zibuze lo mbuzo: Ngaba ndikubudlelwane obuyityhefu?

Umsindisi-Ubudlelwane obugciniweyo?

Olu lwalamano luvela intsomi ye knight emhlophe. Kodwa yintoni i-white knight syndrome inento yokwenza nothando? Oku kungenxa yomfanekiso we-utopian owashukumisa ubuntwana kunye nokufikisa kwabantu abaninzi.

Ibali le-knight emhlophe efika ukuhlangula inkosazana ngumfanekiso abanye abantu abanawo wothando. Kangangokuba emehlweni abo iqabane labo lilelona likhululekileyo kubomi babo obuthuntu nobumnyama. Kwaye ngaphezu kwako konke, sisisombululo kuyo yonke ingxaki yabo. Ngelixa umsindisi, enje, uzibona njengalowo uya kulawula yonke into. Emehlweni akhe ayingomlingane okwinqanaba elifanayo naye. Kodwa umntu nje amphetheyo, nomntu ekufuneka amhoye.

Ubudlelwane phakathi komsindisi nabasindisiweyo ke ngoko bubudlelwane obulungileyo. Inokukhokelela kwinkangeleko a umlahli weemvakalelo.

I-Bibliographic reference kwi-savior syndrome eluthandweni

Nazi iimbekiselo ezisixhenxe zebhayibhili kumxholo othi “umsindisi kwisifo sothando”:

1. Coulon, A. (2016). Le syndrome du sauveur : comprendre pour mieux agir. Paris : Éditions de la Maison des sciences de l’homme.
2. Bourdon, P. (2018). Amour et dépendance affective : quand le sauveur devient victime. Lyon : Éditions PUG.
3. Vignoles, V. (2017). Les relations toxiques : entre sauvetage et manipulation. Toulouse : Éditions Erès.
4. Lévy, P. (2020). La psychologie des relations amoureuses : comprendre le syndrome du sauveur. Marseille : Éditions L’Harmattan.
5. Fischer, C. (2019). Dépendance affective et syndrome du sauveur : un cercle vicieux. Paris : Éditions Eyrolles.
6. Pichon, M. (2021). Psychologie des comportements amoureux : entre sauvetage et abandon. Bruxelles : De Boeck Supérieur.
7. Dufour, J. (2015). Le sauveur en amour : mythe ou réalité ?. Grenoble : Éditions Glénat.

Ezi mbekiselo kufuneka zikunike isiqalo esihle sokuphonononga isihloko sothando lomsindisi syndrome.

Ukuqukumbela

Ukuqukumbela, i-love savior syndrome, nangona ihlala ilungele inkcubeko edumileyo, ityhila ubudlelwane obuntsonkothileyo kunye obunokuba yityhefu. Ukulindela ukuqatshelwa kunye nokulawula kunokukhokelela kukungalingani ngokweemvakalelo, ukuguqula into enokuba luthando olunyanisekileyo kubudlelwane obubi. Kubalulekile ukuqaphela ezi mpawu ukuze ugcine impilo yakho yengqondo kwaye unqwenele ukulungelelana ngakumbi kunye nobudlelwane obuyinyani. Ngokuqonda iindlela zomsindisi we-syndrome, wonke umntu unokubona ubudlelwane bothando obunempilo, ngokusekelwe kwintlonipho kunye nokulingana.