Yintoni ekufuneka uyazi malunga nokulahla syndrome 

THE ukulahla syndrome inxulunyaniswa ngamandla nexhala lokulahlwa. Le meko ineempembelelo ezininzi kubudlelwane bomntu, nokuba bathandana, banobuhlobo okanye bosapho ngendalo. Nantsi into ebalulekileyo ukwazi ngayo.

Yintoni isifo sokulahlwa okanye ukoyika ukulahlwa?

Abantu abane-andonment syndrome banoloyiko oluqhubekayo lokulahlwa okanye ukuhlukaniswa. Ebonakala ngeempawu ezifana nokungakhuseleki kunye ukuxhomekeka, i-syndromes yokulahla ayilona ukuxilongwa okusemthethweni kwempilo yengqondo.

Ukuba umntu ufumana ubunzima obukhulu ebomini bakhe ngenxa yokoyika ukulahlwa, ingcali yezempilo yengqondo inokumxilonga ngemeko ehambelana nayo, ezifana nokuxhalaba okanye ukudakumba. Bobabini abantu abadala kunye nabantwana banokufumana le mvakalelo, enokubangela uxinzelelo lweemvakalelo kwaye ibe yingozi kakhulu ekwakheni ubudlelwane.

Ivela phi isifo sokulahla?

I-Abandonment syndrome ihlala ivela kumava abuhlungu obuntwaneni, ngokutsho kweengcali ezininzi zengqondo. Le mvakalelo inamandla yokushiywa ngasemva, yokukhatywa okanye yokungabandakanywa inokuba ifunyenwe ngenxa yokuvezwa ixesha elide kumntu ongathembekanga, oxhaphazayo okanye ongekhoyo (umzali, nanny, njl.).

Ngelixa kuyinyani ukuba uloyiko lokulahlwa lunokubalelwa lula kwimiba enxulumene nomama kunye/okanye notata, naluphi na ubudlelwane bunokuba ngunobangela we-abandonment syndrome. Umzekelo, ukufelwa ngumntu omthandayo nangaliphi na ixesha kubomi bethu sinokuziboleka kuphuhliso lwe-abandonment syndrome. Ukongezelela, ukuba iqabane okanye iqabane lothando lithatha isigqibo sokuphelisa ubudlelwane, oku kunokukhokelela kuloyiko lokulahlwa.

Izigulo zonyango nezengqondo, ukuchaswa ngothando, ukuphathwa kakubi emsebenzini okanye ukungabikho kwamathuba omsebenzi, okanye uxinezeleko lwezemali lunokuba ngomnye umthombo wesifo sokulahla. Kwimeko nganye, umntu ochaphazelekayo unokuziva enomsindo okanye engakhuselekanga, nto leyo enokuchaphazela ubudlelwane bexesha elizayo.

 

Zithini iziphumo zesifo sokulahla?

I-Abandonment syndrome inokubakho kunye iimpawu zeemvakalelo kunye nokuziphatha. Nangona zinokubonakala ngokwahlukileyo kwabanye abantu, iimpawu eziqhelekileyo ziquka:

• lacks ukuzithemba

Ixhala lokulahlwa idla ngokunxulunyaniswa nokungabikho kwe-inshorensi. Ngokungazithembi, abantu abanoloyiko lokulahlwa abaziva bezolile kwiimvakalelo zabo kunye nolwalamano lwabo lobuhlobo, lwentsapho okanye lothando. Baya kuziva bengaxabisekanga kwaye bakholelwe ukuba abafanelanga ukuba nobudlelwane nomntu.

• Ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo

Ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo kukwayenye yeempawu ezinxulunyaniswa nayo uloyiko lokulahlwa. Enyanisweni, umntu ochatshazelwa sesi sigulo unokuziva efuna ngamandla ubukho babanye. Kuye, lo bukho bunempembelelo eqinisekisayo kwaye inceda ukuphepha ukuxhalaba.

• Ubudlelwane besibini obungalinganiyo

THE ukulahla syndrome kunokubangela ukuba umntu atyhale abanye kude, kodwa kunokwenzeka ukuba kube nemiphumo eyahlukileyo. Umntu owoyika ukulahlwa unokwala ukushiya iqabane lakhe, nokuba sele edibene nobudlelwane obungenampilo. Usenokoyika ukuba akasayi kukwazi ukufumana omnye umntu okanye akholelwe ukuba akafanelwanga lunyango lungcono.

• Ulwalamano lwentsapho luphazamisekile

Kumntu onesifo sokulahla, ubudlelwane bentsapho bungumthombo wokukhathazeka. Ngokuqhelekileyo unobunzima bokuthemba abanye. Oku kuya kuba negalelo ekudaleni umoya onzima kunye netyhefu kwintsapho. Umntu owoyika ukulahlwa akayi kukwazi ukuzibamba. Uya kuziva ephoxekile, esoyikiswa, engafunwa kwaye edanile. Ngenxa yoko, kunokwenzeka ukuba abe kude, okanye abe ndlongondlongo.

Uloyisa njani ixhala lokulahlwa?

Ukoyisa i-abandonment syndrome kunokuba nzima. Kodwa akukephuzi kakhulu ukuqala ukwenza umzamo. Ingakumbi kuba kunokwenzeka ukufunda iindlela eziya kukunceda.

Ngeendlela ezifanelekileyo, unako philisa kwaye woyise ixhala lakho ukuze ukwazi ukukhuthaza kunye nokugcina impilo, ubudlelwane obuhle ebomini bakho.

• Qinisekisa isimbo sakho sokuncamathisela

Siphuhlisa izimbo zokuncamathela ngexesha lobuntwana. Zixhomekeke kwindlela abazali bethu abasiphatha ngayo. Banokuyiphembelela indlela esisabela ngayo ebantwini kubomi bethu bonke emva kokuba sibadala.

Ukuchonga eyakho isimbo sokuncamathela inokukunika ukuqonda kuloyiko lwakho kwaye ikwenze wazi ngakumbi ngokuziphatha kwakho. Ngokuhamba kwexesha, unokufunda ukunxibelelana nabanye ngeendlela ezisempilweni. Nazi i-4 i-attachment styles eziphambili: i-attachment exhalabileyo, i-attachment ephephekayo, i-attachment engalungelelanisiweyo, i-attachment ekhuselekileyo.

• Hamba uye kuzifumanisa

Nangona iqhelekile abantu aboyikayo ukulahlwa ukuziva uneentloni, ukucinga malunga noloyiko lwakho kunokwenza kube lula ukulawula. La maxhala ahlala endele yaye akunakufane kwenzeke ukuba aphele ukuba awuwahoyi. Ukujongana neemvakalelo zakho kunokukunceda wenze utshintsho oluhle ebomini bakho.

• Funa uncedo kugqirha

I-Abandonment syndrome yi ububi obuntsonkothileyo kwaye kunokuba nzima ukuzilawula ngokwakho. Ngoncedo lonyango, unokufunda ngakumbi malunga noloyiko lwakho kunye nemvelaphi yabo. Ngokomzekelo, i-psychotherapist iya kukwazi ukukunceda ukuba ukhulule kwimpembelelo ye-internalized traumatic past.

Biza ingcali yezempilo

Uza kuqala ukuba ukuqonda izizathu zokulahla i-syndromes ukuba udibene. Oku kuya kukunceda uqalise ukujongana nokwenzakala kwakho okudlulileyo kunye nokwakha ubudlelwane obunempilo ngoku nakwixesha elizayo.

Ireferensi yebhayibhiliyografi yokulahla isifo

Nazi izingqinisiso ezisixhenxe zebhayibhilografi kwisiFrentshi kumxholo we-abandonment syndrome:

1. Bowlby, J. (1983). La perte : dépression et mélancolie. Éditions de l’Organisation.
   (Bien que Bowlby soit un auteur anglo-saxon, ses travaux sur l’attachement sont fondamentaux pour comprendre le syndrome de l’abandon.)
2. Kernberg, O. F. (1999). L’angoisse de séparation et le syndrome de l’abandon. In Psychanalyse et psychopathologie. Paris : Éditions Dunod.
3. Roussillon, R. (2005). Les rapports d’attachement : effets sur la personnalité et la psychopathologie. Paris : Éditions Erès.
   (Cet ouvrage explore les impacts des attachements précoces, liés au syndrome de l’abandon.)
4. Favez, N. et al. (2009). La relation parent-enfant et le syndrome de l’abandon : enjeux et interventions. Revue française de psychanalyse, 73(2), 203-218.
5. Guérin, É. (2010). Le syndrome de l’abandon : approches thérapeutiques et cliniques. Psychiatrie française, 85(4), 299-312.
6. Bourguignon, M. (2013). L’impact du syndrome de l’abandon sur la vie affective et relationnelle. In Psychologie de l’attachement. Paris : Éditions PUF.
7. Mourot, G. (2017). Syndrome de l’abandon et résilience : étude de cas et approches thérapeutiques. Revue de Psychologie, 62(1), 45-58.

Ezi zikhombisi ziya kukunika isiqalo esihle sokuphonononga isihloko sokulahla i-syndrome kwiimbono ezahlukeneyo.

Conclusion

Ukuqukumbela, i-abandonment syndrome yinyani entsonkothileyo echaphazela kakhulu ubudlelwane phakathi kwabantu, nokuba yeyothando, yobuhlobo okanye yosapho. Ukuqonda imvelaphi kunye nokubonakaliswa kwayo kubalulekile ukuqala inkqubo yokuphilisa. Ngokuzihlola ngokunyanisekileyo nangenkxaso yengcali, kunokwenzeka ukoyisa olu loyiko luphazamisayo nokwakha ubudlelwane obuphilileyo nobulungeleleneyo. Ngokusondela kwi-syndrome yokulahla ngovelwano kunye nokuvuleleka, wonke umntu unokuba nethemba lokufumana indlela eya kubudlelwane obunentsingiselo kunye nobunyani.