Savior Syndrome-Uvavanyo, Ngaba ulixhoba?

Savior Syndrome : Ngubani owayesazi ukuba umsindisi akanyanzelekanga ukuba acingele abanye abantu? Esi sifo asaziwa kangako kuluntu lwethu. Ingakumbi kuba siyibona ingekuko njengesidubedube kodwa njengomgangatho. Bubuphi ububi obunokubonakalisa intsingiselo yedini? 

Savior syndrome: yintoni na?

I-Savior syndrome: into enomdla enokuguqula ubomi bakho!

Fumanisa ukuba le ndlela yokuziphatha, ehlala ingekho zingqondweni, ibuchaphazela njani ubudlelwane bakho kunye nempilo yakho. Ngaba uhlala utsaleleka ekuncedeni abanye ngokulahlekelwa yimpilo yakho yengqondo? Esi sifo, zombini esilungileyo kwaye sinokuyonakalisa, sifanelwe ingqalelo yakho epheleleyo. Ngena kwiindlela zengqondo emva kwayo kwaye ufunde ukuqaphela iimpawu zayo. Nokuba ukhathazekile okanye unomdla nje, olu phononongo luya kukunika izitshixo ezixabisekileyo zokuziqonda ngcono kunye nokuphucula unxibelelwano lwakho lwentlalo. Ungaphoswa leli thuba lokukhula kwaye uchume!

Ziziphi izizathu ze-syndrome?

I-Savior syndrome ineengcambu zayo kwindibaniselwano eyinkimbinkimbi yezinto zengqondo kunye nokusingqongileyo. Ngokufuthi, iqala kwasebuntwaneni, xa umntu kwakufuneka athwale iimbopheleleko zakhe esemncinci okanye exatyiswa ngokuyintloko ngokunceda abanye. Amava abuhlungu, ukuzithemba okuphantsi, okanye imfuno enzulu yokuqinisekiswa kwangaphandle nako kunokufaka isandla ekuphuhlisweni kwayo.

Kwezinye iimeko, kunokudibaniswa neepatheni zentsapho ezingasebenziyo apho ubunikazi bomntu buxhomekeke ngokusondeleyo kwindima “yomsindisi.” Izithethe zenkcubeko nezentlalo ezizukisa ukuzincama nazo zinokukubethelela oku. Ngaphaya koko, ubuchwephesha obuthile, ngakumbi kwiinkalo zokhathalelo kunye noncedo, banokutsala kwaye bandise olu tyekelo. Ukuqonda ezi zizathu kubalulekile ekuqondeni nasekusonjululweni kwesi sifo ngokufanelekileyo.

Wazi njani ukuba une-savior syndrome? Iimpawu

I-Savior syndrome ibonakaliswa yimpawu ezininzi zeempawu. Ungaphathwa yiyo ukuba uyaziqaphela kwezi mpawu:

• Utyekelo olunyanzelekileyo lokufuna ukusombulula iingxaki zabanye abantu, nokuba ungacelwanga
• Ukuziva unetyala xa ungakwazi ukunceda
• Ubunzima bokuthi hayi kwizicelo zoncedo
• Utyekelo lokutyeshela iimfuno zakho ngokuthanda ezabanye
• Isidingo esiqhubekayo sokulawula kwiimeko zokunceda
• Utyekelo lokuziva uyimfuneko okanye ungenakubuyiselwa;
• Umtsalane kubudlelwane apho uno “kusindisa” omnye
• Ukuzithemba kunxulunyaniswa ngamandla namandla akho okunceda; ukudinwa okungapheliyo ngenxa yokuzinikela kwakho ngokugqithisileyo
• I-resentment efihliweyo kwabo ubancedayo ukuba abayiqondi ngokwaneleyo imizamo yakho.

Kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuba ezi mpawu kufuneka zizingise kwaye zibe nefuthe elibonakalayo kubomi bakho ukuze zithathwe njenge-syndrome.

Iindidi ezahlukeneyo zoMsindisi

I-Savior syndrome inokubonakalisa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo, nganye ineempawu zayo. Iindidi ezininzi zabasindisi zinokuchongwa:

1. Umfeli-nkolo: Umntu ohlala encama impilo-ntle yakhe ngenxa yabanye, ngokufuthi ngokukhalaza.
2. The Fixer: Uxakeke kakhulu kukusombulula iingxaki zabanye abantu, nangaphandle kokucelwa.
3. UMlawuli: Ngubani ocinga ukuba wazi ngcono kunabanye oko kulungileyo kubo.
4. UMncedi: Ngubani onceda ngokugqithisileyo, ethintela abanye ekuphuhliseni ukuzimela kwabo.
5. Iqhawe: Ngubani ofuna ukuqinisekiswa ngezenzo zobugorha okanye ukuhlangula okumangalisayo.
6. The Perfectionist: Ozibhokoxayo esenzela abanye yonke into ngokugqibeleleyo.
7. UMlamli: Uhlala ebandakanyeka ekusombululeni iingxabano zabanye.

Uhlobo ngalunye lunokudibana, kwaye umntu unokubonisa iimpawu zodidi olungaphezulu kwesinye. Ukuqatshelwa kwezi zibonakaliso zahlukeneyo kubalulekile ekuqondeni ngcono kunye nokulawulwa kwe-syndrome.

Kutheni abasindisi kufuneka bazincame ngenxa yabanye?

Abasindisi bazincama ngenxa yezizathu ezahlukeneyo zengqondo:

• Ukuzithemba okuphantsi – ukufuna ukubonisa ukubaluleka kwabo ngokunceda abanye
• Isicwangciso sokuphepha – ukuphepha ukujongana neengxaki kunye neemvakalelo zabo
• Ukukhangela uthando kunye nokuvunywa – ukudibanisa ixabiso labo nokuba luncedo kwabo kwabanye
• Ukuziva unetyala kunye nenkolelo ephosakeleyo yokuba nembopheleleko yolonwabo lwabanye
• Isidingo solawulo-ukunceda abanye kunika imvakalelo yokulawula
• Impendulo kumothuko odlulileyo okanye ukungasebenzi kakuhle kosapho

UMsindisi Syndrome kubudlelwane

• Elinye iqabane lithatha indima yomsindisi, lisoloko lifuna ukucombulula iingxaki zomnye
• Idala ukungalingani kobudlelwane:
  • Umsindisi uziva eyimfuneko
  • Elinye iqabane likhula ngokuxhomekeka okugqithisileyo
  • Umsindisi unomdla kubantu “abadinga ukulungiswa”
• Iziphumo ezibi:
  • Ithintela ukukhula kobuqu kwabo bobabini amaqabane
  • Yenza inzondo kunye nokudandatheka
  • Ingakhokelela kubudlelwane obuzimeleyo
  • Umngcipheko wokudinwa ngokweemvakalelo
  • Ilahleko yesazisi somntu ngamnye
  • Ukuphela kobudlelwane obunokwenzeka ukuba akuqwalaselwa

Indlela yokulahla i-savior syndrome?

Amanyathelo angundoqo kwinkqubo:

• Yivume ingxaki uze wamkele imfuneko yotshintsho
• Sebenza ngokuzithemba ukunciphisa ukuxhomekeka ekuqinisekiseni kwangaphandle
• Misela imida esempilweni:
  • Funda ukuthi hayi
  • Zihloniphe iimfuno zakho
• Ziqhelanise ne-self-mfesane ukunciphisa ityala
• Phuhlisa izinto ozithandayo kunye nolwalamano olulungeleleneyo
• Cinga ngonyango (ingakumbi ingqondo-yokuziphatha)
• Funda ukuvumela abanye ukuba bazicombulule iingxaki zabo

I-Bibliographic reference kwi-savior syndrome

Nazi iimbekiselo ezisixhenxe zebhayibhili kumxholo othi “savior syndrome”:

1. Bourgeois, M. (2016). Le syndrome du sauveur : Quand aider devient pathologique. Éditions L’Harmattan.
2. Fournier, P. (2014). L’impact du syndrome du sauveur dans les professions d’aide. Revue de Psychologie, 35(2), 123-135.
3. Tisseron, S. (2012). Les relations d’aide et le syndrome du sauveur. In : Psychologie et interventions en santé. Presses Universitaires de France.
4. Lévy, J. (2019). Comprendre le syndrome du sauveur : enjeux et solutions. Éditions Eyrolles.
5. Meyer, A. (2015). Syndrome du sauveur : une approche psychanalytique. Revue Française de Psychiatrie, 56(1), 45-58.
6. Benoît, C. (2018). Syndrome du sauveur et gestion des émotions. Journal de Psychologie Clinique, 37(4), 256-270.
7. Renaud, L. (2020). Le syndrome du sauveur et ses implications dans la thérapie. In : Psychothérapie et pratiques d’accompagnement. Éditions Dunod.

Ezi zingqinisiso zibonelela ngombono olungileyo wemiba eyahlukeneyo ye-savior syndrome kunye neempembelelo zayo ekuncedeni ubudlelwane kunye nempilo yengqondo.

Ukuqukumbela

Ukuqukumbela, i-savior syndrome, nangona ihlala ibonwa njengomgangatho, ityhila ubunzima bengqondo obunokuba neziphumo ezibi kubudlelwane kunye nentlalontle yomntu. Imiliselwe kumava obomi kunye nokutshintsha kosapho, le ndlela yokuziphatha ibonakala ingenamdla ingakhokelela ekuphulukaneni nesazisi, ubudlelwane obungalungelelananga kunye nokudinwa ngokweemvakalelo. Kubalulekile ukuqaphela iimpawu zesi sifo ukuqalisa inkqubo yotshintsho. Ngokufunda ukuseka imida enempilo kwaye sixabise iimfuno zethu, wonke umntu unokuzikhulula kolu tshintsho kwaye akhuthaze ubudlelwane obulungeleleneyo nobanelisayo.

Ezinye iimvavanyo ze-Savior Syndrome

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