Izivakalisi ezenza uzive unetyala ngamabinzana anokubangela ukuba umntu azive enembopheleleko, kodwa ngaphezu kwako konke ukuphoxeka kwabantu abhekiswa kubo. La mabinzana anokusetyenziswa ngokuqonda okanye ngokungazi injongo yokulawula okanye ukulawula abanye. Ke ngoko, kubalulekile ukuqaphela la mabinzana ukuze uwaphephe okanye uwaqonde ngcono.
Amabinzana etyala: iqhinga lokukhohlisa
Nje ukuba i-manipulator iphumelele ngempumelelo kwixhoba lakhe, uya kusebenzisa iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokuziphatha kunye nobuchule ukuze omeleze kwaye agcine ulawulo. Phakathi kweendlela ezi-5 eziphambili zokulawula ukukhohlisa, sinokucaphula :
- Uqinisekiso oluqinisekileyo: umqhatha uvakalisa uhlobo lokuvuma, uvelwano okanye indumiso kwixhoba lakhe xa ixhoba linikezela kwiminqweno yakhe.
- Uqinisekiso olubi: I-narcissist ekhohlisayo iyayeka ukuziphatha kakubi kwaye iba yityhefu encinci njengomvuzo.
- Intermittent reinforcement: Olu luhlobo lokuqiniswa okulungileyo ngamaxesha athile. Isetyenziswa ikakhulu ukudala ukubhideka kunye nokunyusa amathandabuzo engqondweni yexhoba layo.
- One-time traumatic learning: ibandakanya ukusebenzisa izoyikiso ngamagama anobundlobongela ngenjongo yokumisela ukongamela. Ixhoba ke ngoko liyanyanzeleka ukuba liwamkele amabango womqhatha kuba eloyikela ukuphinda siphile esi siganeko.
- Punishment: Le ndlela yokuziphatha izibonakalisa ngokugqabhuka ngokweemvakalelo okanye ngokunyeliswa ngamazwi. Imizekelo yesohlwayo ibandakanya ukudlala ixhoba okanye ukutyhola ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo.
Ke, kamsinya nje ukuba umxhaphazi eqonde ukuthambekela kwengqondo komntu onokuthi abe lixhoba, uya kuthi emva koko athathe isigqibo malunga neyona ndlela ilungileyo yokukhohlisa anokusetyenziswa. Oku kuya kukuvumela ukuba ufumane ifayile uhlaselo olungcono lwe-narcissistic manipulator ukwenza ixhoba lakhe lizive linetyala.
Want to break free from this hold?
10 amabinzana okanye izivakalisi ezikwenza uzive unetyala
Umntu okhohlisayo unokutyhilwa koko akuthethayo. Sidwelisa ngezantsi kwe iintetho eziphambili ukuba i-narcissistic manipulator isebenzisa ukulawula ixhoba lakhe. Nangona kunjalo, kufuneka kuthathelwe ingqalelo gabalala kakhulu ukusetyenziswa kwala mabinzana:
1. Awuyiqondi i
I-manipulator isoloko isebenzisa eli binzana ukuze tshayela kude iinzame zokuqiqa kwixhoba lakhe malunga nokuziphatha kwakhe okuyityhefu. Eli binzana libalekayo limvumela ukuba afake ukungaqiniseki, kwaye akugcine emiliselwe kwixhoba lakhe ukuze asoloko esenza unxibelelwano lwakhe olukhohlisayo lusebenze.
2. Uyamangalisa
Eli binzana lelinye lawona asetyenziswa kakhulu ngamaqhinga. I-narcissistic manipulator ibiza ixhoba layo “liyamangalisa” ngesona sikhalazo sincinci okanye UKUKHUSANA evela kule. Irhamncwa liyawuthanda umdlalo weqonga kwaye liwusebenzisa njengowona mthombo wamandla. Ngenxa yoko, wenza iingxoxo okanye akalibazisi ukusebenzisa xoka ukuzithethelela nokudlala ixhoba. Oko kuthethiweyo, ukuba umntu okhohlisayo ukubiza ngokumangalisayo, kungenxa yokuba ukude nokuba mnye.
3. Uyi-paranoid, nguwe oyenzayo, isentloko yakho…
La mabinzana asoloko ephindwa ngabazenzisi ukuba luphephe uxanduva. Ixoki lidlala ikhadi le ubuntu be-paranoid ngokubhekiselele kwixhoba lakhe xa lo mva esendleleni yakhe. Kule meko, ukuze likwazi ukuqhwesha, ixhoba kufuneka lihlale kumzila walo kwaye lingahambi de lowo ukhohlisayo anikezele kwaye ashiye ubomi bakhe ngokupheleleyo.
4. Andifuni kuxoxa
Umahluko weli binzana uthi “Yeka ukumosha.” Nangona kunjalo, ukuba kukho i-protagonist ekhangeleyo, nguye. Umntu ongenzanga nto ingako kodwa edala iyantlukwano umisela isiseko sengxabano. Ngoko kutheni umkhohlisi engafuni ukuxoxa? Kuphela nje ukuba unqwenela ukuba ibe nguye yedwa ukuphosa izinto ebusweni bexhoba lakhe. Akakhathali nokuba uyaphikisana okanye awuphikisi.
5. Unovakalelo kakhulu
Ngokungafaniyo noko umntu azama ukukwenza Yenza ukholelwe, ixhoba lakhe likude nobuntununtunu. Kodwa ekubeni engenaluvelwano ngamaxhoba akhe, uwajonga ngolo hlobo.
6. Ucinga kakhulu
Esi sivakalisi siyafana nenombolo yesi-3 “Uyi-paranoid” esiyithethileyo. Ngokuqinisekileyo, unokucinga kakhulu, kodwa kungenxa yesizathu esihle. Ngaphandle koko, xa umntu okhohlisayo esithi ucinga kakhulu, kungenxa yokuba unjalo kwindlela elungileyo kwaye into oyithethayo ichanekile. Ixoki ke liziva lisongelwa zizigqibo zakho kwaye lilindele ngokubanga ukuba unezimvo ezininzi kakhulu.
7. Uhlala uyenza le
Xa i-narcissistic manipulator ithetha la magama, ithetha ukuba enye yezinto ezimbini eyenzekileyo: mhlawumbi ukuzingisa kwakho zithintele enye yeenkanuko zakhe, okanye uyazamatyala ukuzithemba nokuba netyala kuwe. Kwi-manipulator, ukugqithisa sisixhobo esibavumela ukuba banike ingcamango yokuba banolwazi olungaphezulu kunexhoba labo. Ngamafutshane, “uhlala usenza le nto” yindlela ye-narcissistic yokuthetha ukuba ixhoba labo liyabanqanda ekwenzeni oko bakufunayo.
8. Khange ndiyithethe loo nto…(kunye namanye amabinzana afanayo avavanya ubutyala)
THE ubuxoki bubaso obubasa ii-manipulators ze-narcissistic. Kwiintetho zakhe uya kuhlala usiva ibinzana elithi “andizange ndiyithethe loo nto.” Oko kwathiwa, ngalo lonke ixesha umlomo wabo ojijekileyo wenza loo ntetho, kungenxa yokuba umbambe ngobuxoki bakhe, kwaye uyaxoka ngobuxoki.
9. Ngaphandle kwam, awuyonto
I-narcissistic manipulator iyathanda ukudlula ixhoba layo ngokuba “buthathaka”. Uya kuthi ke athande ukuguqula iindima ngokumtyhola ngokuba yinto engento ngaphandle kwakhe. Ukufezekisa oku, umkhohlisi akayi kuthandabuza ukusebenzisa amaqhinga amaninzi ukunqanda ixhoba lakhe ukuba lingamshiyi.
10. Lityala lakho ukuba…(Nguwe onetyala…)
Umntu okhohlisayo uyincutshe kubugcisa bokutyhola, yaye maxa wambi utsho ngokucacileyo ukuba lixhoba lakhe eliyimvelaphi yazo zonke iingxaki zakhe. Ngokutyhola aze ngaloo ndlela alijongele phantsi ixhoba lakhe, umhlaseli uya kufumana zonke iingxoxo eziya kumvumela ukuba alityumze ixhoba lakhe. Kodwa kuxhomekeke kwixhoba ukuzithethelela kwaye libonise ngokuchaseneyo.
Uzenza njani izigwebo ezikwenza uzive unetyala?
Amabinzana abangela ukuba netyala asetyenziswa ikakhulu ukulawula okanye ukulawula abanye. Ukujongana nezi, kudla ngokuyimfuneko ukuba thatha inyathelo emva kunye ne cinga ngale meko ukuqonda ukuba ubutyala obuvakalwayo bufanelekile na okanye hayi. Kodwa xa usazi ukuba ujongene ne-manipulator, kungcono ukubaleka kubo kangangoko kunokwenzeka. Kwakhona kunokwenzeka ukuba uzilungiselele ngokwasengqondweni ukujongana nazo ukomeleza ukuzithemba kwakho ukuze ukwazi ukumelana nabo ngcono. Khumbula, wonke umntu unoxanduva izenzo zakhe kwaye yayo iimvakalelo zakho. Ngoko ke, akukho mntu ufanele aphendule ngeemvakalelo zomnye umntu.
👇 Ukuya phambili:
- Uyandiqhatha kwaye undenza ndizive ndinetyala – Ndimele ndenze ntoni?
- Ityala kunye nokwenza ubutyala
- Indawo ebuthathaka ye-manipulator – Yintoni na?
Ngaba ufuna ukutyhila iphepha ngokusisigxina?
Iseshoni yomntu ngamnye kunye ne-Cristina linyathelo eliqinisekileyo: qonda, yenza, uqhubele phambili. Kwividiyo, naphi na apho ukhoyo. Iseshini yoqeqesho lwevidiyo yomntu ngamnye (iSkype okanye iWhatsApp) — €100 ngeseshoni nganye.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.