Uyandiqhatha kwaye undenza ndizive ndinetyala – Ndimele ndenze ntoni?

Khona kutheni endiqhatha andenze ndizive ndinetyala? Ungathi ubethwe ngenqindi emathunjini. Ukufumanisa umcimbi weqabane lakho asiyonto oyibonileyo ezayo. Ngenxa yoko, uyazibuza ukuba kutheni uziva uneemvakalelo ezininzi, kuquka nokuziva unetyala. Ngapha koko, ayinanto yakwenza nawe. 

Uyandiqhatha kwaye uyaxoka, undenza ndizive ndinetyala kutheni?

Ukungathembeki, okanye ukungathembeki, kunokubangela zonke iintlobo zeemvakalelo. Ukusuka kwingqumbo, ukothuka, unxunguphalo ukuya ehlazweni nasekuziveni unetyala, le nto uyivayo inokukuthatha ukhwele inqwelo-mafutha ongayifuniyo.

AmaNarcissists adla ngokuqhatha kuba engakwazi ukuzibamba kancinane okanye engenakho kwaphela. Ngokuqhelekileyo akukho kwindalo yabo ukuxhathisa isilingo sokutyisa i-ego yabo ngemithombo emitsha yengqwalasela.

Ukulawulwa kwempembelelo embi, ukuzicingela, ukuzicingela ukuba ubalulekile, ukukhohlisa ubungangamsha, ukuswela ukuzisola, uvelwano kunye neentloni, kunye nesidingo esiqhubekayo sokubonelela nge-narcissistic zezona zizathu zokuba kutheni ama-narcissists axoke kwaye akhohlise amaqabane abo.

Kwaye ngaphezu kwako konke, bacinga nje ukuba banokuphumelela.

Narcissistic Pervert – Iimpawu ezili-10 Ukukhohlisa.

Nantsi imiqondiso:

1.  Unyamalala rhoqo kwaye uhlala engacacanga malunga nokuba uphi na.
2.  Ukuncwasa kwimidiya yoluntu
3. Akayibeki phantsi ifowuni yakhe okanye akuvumele ukuba usondele kuyo.
4. Ukukutyhola ngokuthandana
5. Ukutshintsha ngokukhawuleza ukuziphatha
6. Utshintsho kwi-libido
7. Rhoxisa izicwangciso rhoqo
8. Ukuphepha incoko ngokuziphatha kwabo ndlongondlongo
9. Ukunisela ngezipho ungalindelanga.
10.  Ngokumangalisayo uchitha imali eninzi ngasemva kwakho.

Ufanele wenze ntoni xa ujongene nendoda engathembekanga ekwenza uzive unetyala?

Ukuba ubona nayiphi na kwezi “Iiflegi ezibomvu” ngasentla kwaye kuvele ukuba yinyani, kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba ukukopela akusiyo impazamo yakho. Uninzi lwama-narcissists lukhohlisa nabani na olukunye naye, ngakumbi xa ubudlelwane okanye umtshato sele uqinisiwe.

• Kukwabalulekile ukuba uqonde ukuba ukuqhathwa yi-narcissist akuthethi ukuba awukho krelekrele kunabo. Kuchasene noko. Ngoko eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukungayinanzi.
• I-Narcissists isoloko icinga ukuba ihlakaniphile kunamaqabane abo kwaye inokuhamba ngokukopa. Kungokujongela phantsi iqabane labo ukuba benze iimpazamo baze babanjwe. Esona sisombululo silungileyo apha kukuziqhelanisa.
• Ukujongana ne-PN isenokungahambi ngendlela ocinga ngayo. Ukwenza oku, kuyimfuneko ukubeka imida yakho kwaye uhambe.

Xa i-narcissist ibanjwe iqhatha kwaye ixoka (i-narcissistic manipulator ubuxoki), udla ngokuqamba intaphane yobuxoki ukuze akuqinisekise ukuba ebethembekile kuphela. Nokuba unobungqina bokukopela, kusenokwenzeka ukuba uya kukhanyela yonke into aze aveze ukungathembeki kwakhe kuwe.

Ukukhanya kwisibini

Unako nokuba nomsindo kwaye asebenzise ubuchule bo “gaslighting“.

Kodwa kwenzeka ntoni xa engasakwazi ukubukhanyela ubungqina? Kuthekani ukuba unokumbamba esenzweni? Usenokukugxeka ngokungathembeki kwakhe.

Unokuza nezizathu ezininzi zokuba kutheni ukuziphatha kwakho okubangele ukuba afune ingqalelo ngaphandle kobudlelwane bakho okanye umtshato. Narcissists bakulungele ukuthetha nantoni na ukuphambukisa ingqalelo ngokwabo kwaye ubeke ityala komnye umntu.

Kutheni beshiya imikhondo malunga nenkohliso yabo?

Ngelishwa, ii-narcissists aziziva zisola emva kokukuqhatha. Ukuba babeziva benetyala, babenokukwazi ukutshintsha indlela abaziphatha ngayo baze bayeke ukuqhatha.

Akukho ziphumo zanele ukutshintsha iingqondo zabo kuba, emehlweni abo, ukukopela akuyona into enkulu. Yindlela nje yokuziva ngcono ngawe.

Yiyo loo nto beshiya imikhondo yonke indawo ukuze wazi ukuba akanakuphulukana nento. Ekubeni bengazisoli ngezenzo zabo, akukho nto ibathintelayo ekubeni baphinde bayenze.

Ungasabela njani kukungathembeki?

Ufanele wazi ukuba ukujongana neqabane elingathembekanga akusoloko kulula. Kwelinye icala, zininzi izinto eziluncedo ezinokukunceda ulwe neemvakalelo ezingakhiyo. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ukungathembeki kunokukushiya uzibuza ukuba ungawathatha njani amaqhekeza kwaye uqale ukuqhubela phambili kwisiqhelo sakho esitsha. Ukuba uziva ngathi ubambekile,

• Kusenokukunceda ukuthetha nomhlobo okanye ukubhala phantsi iimvakalelo zakho.
• Ukongezelela, kubalulekile ukuba uzikhathalele.
• Ucoceko lobuqu, ukutya okusempilweni, kunye nokulala kunokuvusa iimvakalelo ezakhayo ngokuziqhelisela nje.
• Ngokufanayo, ukuhamba, ukunyuka, okanye enye indlela yokukhulula i-endorphin inokukunceda ukukhulula iimvakalelo zomsindo kunye netyala.

Ukuba uyaqhubeka ukuziva ubambekile okanye awukwazi ukucholachola amaqhekeza, silapha ngenxa yakho. Unokufumana uncedo kwimibutho ekhethekileyo kule nto, banokukunceda kwinkqubo yokuphilisa. Ubomi emva kokukrexeza bunokuba mnandi kwaye banelise.

Qingqinisiso lweBhayibhile:

Nazi iireferensi ezisixhenxe zebhayibhilografi kumxholo wokukhohlisa:

1. Bok, Sissela. Le mensonge : un mal nécessaire ? Paris : Éditions du Seuil, 1989.
2. Goffman, Erving. La mise en scène de la vie quotidienne : La présentation de soi. Paris : Éditions de Minuit, 1973.
3. Ekman, Paul. Les expressions de l’émotion chez l’homme. Paris : Éditions du Seuil, 1972.
4. Dupuy, Jean-Pierre. Petite métaphysique des tsunamis. Paris : Éditions du Seuil, 2005.
5. Ariely, Dan. C’est (vraiment ?) moi qui décide : Les raisons cachées de nos choix. Paris : Flammarion, 2010.
6. Smith, David Livingstone. Pourquoi nous mentons : Les racines biologiques et psychologiques de la tromperie. Paris : Éditions de l’Homme, 2007.
7. Cosnier, Jacques. Les tromperies du corps : Mensonges et vérités du non-verbal. Paris : Éditions Odile Jacob, 1994.

Le mi sebenzi inika imbono enzulu malunga nokukhohlisa, ukujongana nemiba yayo yengqondo, yezentlalo kunye neyokuziphatha.

Conclusion

Xa ujongene nemeko enjalo, kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuba ukungathembeki kweqabane le-narcissistic kunye neemvakalelo zokuziva unetyala ezikubeka kuwe akulotyala lakho. Ukubuyisela umva impilo-ntle yakho, ukubeka imida ecacileyo, kunye nokufuna inkxaso xa kuyimfuneko ngamanyathelo aphambili okuphilisa. Nangona intlungu isenokubonakala ingenakoyiswa, ngexesha kunye nenkxaso efanelekileyo, kunokwenzeka ukuba uphinde ulungelelane ngokweemvakalelo kwaye uphishekele ubomi obuzolileyo nobanelisayo.