Phuma ekuxhatshazweni – Iingcebiso ezi-5 zokulandela

Ukuphuma kokuxhatshazwa yinkqubo ende nedinisayo. Ukanti linyathelo elibalulekileyo ekufuneka lithatyathwe ukuze kulungelwe wena kunye nabo bakungqongileyo. Ngoko, ngaba ulixhoba? Eli nqaku liza kukunceda uphume kule ndima.

Amanyathelo ama-5 okuphuma kwixhoba

Nanga amanyathelo okuphuma ekuxhatshazweni.

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1. Ulwazi lweKarpman Triangle
2. Yamkele ukuba sikwimeko yokuzibhubhisa
3. Thatha iintambo zobomi bakho
4. Yamkela ukufumana uncedo lwexeshana
5. Qala ngokuzikhuthaza

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1. Yazi iKarpman Triangle

Kufuneka uqonde imeko okuyo. Ukuphumelela ekuchongeni ingxaki yinxalenye yokuqala yokuyicombulula. Lo nxantathu umangalisayo nguye odibanisa umbulali nexhoba lakhe. Unokuqala ukusuka kwindawo yexhoba uze udlulele kweso somtshutshisi. Esi sangqa sikhohlakeleyo siyaqhubeka, yiyo loo nto kufuneka sifune indlela yokushiya i-manipulator ye-narcissistic ukuba injalo imvelo yomtshutshisi wakho.

2. Yamkele ukuba sikwimeko yokuzibhubhisa

Ukuphumelela ekwamkeleni ukuba sinobuntu obuyityhefu obusitshabalalisayo kubalulekile. Ngokuphumelela ekuvumeni ubuthathaka bakho, uya kukwazi ukunqumla inkqubo yokuxhatshazwa. Le yeyona ndlela ilungileyo yokufumana ibhalansi yangaphakathi.

3. Buyisela iintambo zobomi bakho

Uxanduva lwakho ngokuyintloko ngobomi bakho. Le nto yenzekayo kuwe kungenxa yokuba uyivumele yenzeke. Kuyenzeka ukuba xa siza kuhlangabezana nengxaki okanye umqobo onzima, siphuma kwixhoba. Kodwa nge-dint yokuthatha indima yexhoba, usengozini yokuba unamathele kuyo. Ke, esona sisombululo silungileyo kukwamkela isimo sengqondo esisebenzayo sokubuyela ezinyaweni zakho.

4. Yamkele into yokufumana uncedo lwexeshana

Ukuze ukoyise ngempumelelo ukuzenzakalisa, uncedo lunokufuneka. Ukungenelela kwengcali yengqondo okanye ugqirha wengqondo kunokufuneka. Nangona kunjalo, oku akufanele kugcinwe ixesha elide. Unyango luya kuba lufutshane, ayiloncedo oya kulugcina kwixesha elide.

5. Qalisa ukuzikhuthaza

Nje ukuba ukhululwe, kufuneka uqhubele phambili. Sukulinda uncedo oluvela ngaphandle. Ngeyakho inkqubo entsha yokuziphatha, kufuneka uzigcine usekugqibeleni kwakho. Eyona ntshukumisa ilungileyo kuwe ihlala ingaphezulu kwayo yonke ingqondo yakho kwaye ngaphezu kwako konke ukulwa ngamandla ukuzithiya.

Kutheni siqhutyelwa ekubeni ngamaxhoba?

Ngokuqhelekileyo, akukho mntu akafuni ukuba likhonkco elibuthathaka. Udla ngokunyanzelwa ukuba aphume kubuntu bakhe bokwenene aze abe lixhoba. Eyona ndlela ilungileyo yoku kugrogrisa okanye ubundlobongela. Ngokwaphula ingqondo yomntu, uya kuba yimvu nje engenakuzinceda.. Kulapho eba lixhoba lokwenene.

Ziziphi izizathu zokuxhatshazwa?

Izinto ezityhala umntu ukuba azenze amaxhoba zininzi.

• Ukuba ne-ukungakwazi ukuzithemba. Uya kuba lilitye lokunyathela lomntu wonke. Okukhona uzicima, kokukhona kuya kuba lula ukuba abanye bakuthabathele kuyo yonke into oyenzayo.
• Ukufuna ukubona abanye njengabongamileyo kuwe kuyo yonke into oyenzayo. Uya kwandula ke ube nomkhwa wokuguqukela kwabanye ngobona bunzima buncinane.
• Ukuhlala kwindawo ecinezelayo. Ukuba abo basondeleyo kuwe bahlala bekubeka phantsi, uya kugqiba ube lixhoba eligqibeleleyo. Ngokuqhelekileyo oku kunjalo kubantwana kwintsapho ene-manipulator ye-narcissistic.

Iyintoni imiphumo yokuxhatshazwa?

Ukuze siqonde ukubaluleka kokuphuma kwixhoba, kufuneka sibone imiphumo yoku kubomi bexhoba.

• Ixhoba liya kurhoxa kuye, linqunyulwe kwabasondeleyo kulo.
• Uya kuphulukana nokuthembeka ngokukhalaza kakhulu. Kwaye abo bamngqongileyo baya kucaphuka ngakumbi nangakumbi.
• Umntu usenokuzama ukuzifihla emva kokuba elixhoba.

Iimpawu zokuzixhaphaza

Ngokutsho kwencwadi yengqondo ejongene nethuba lokuphuma kwixhoba, kukho iimpawu ezahlukeneyo zokubona ukuba umntu uyachatshazelwa ngulo mkhwa.

1. Ukulahlekelwa lulawulo kubomi bomntu.
2. Ukuba nobunzima obukhulu bokuzikhusela.
3. Vumela ubomi bakho balathiswe okanye buphenjelelwe ngabanye.
4. Ukuzisola ngayo yonke into eyenzekayo ebomini bakho.
5. Isenokude ibe likhoboka, de umntu ayisebenzise njengesingxengxezo sento eyenzekayo kuye.

Ukuxhatshazwa kunye neCalimero Syndrome

Kuya kufuneka uyazi ukuba I-Calimero syndrome yenye into eyahlukileyo yokuxhatshazwa. Kubandakanya ukucinga ukuba yonke into oyenzayo ayikuthandi kwaye yonke into yenzeka kuwe kuphela. Siqaphela ukuba esi sifo sibangela a ukwanda okubukhali kwixhala lakho. Kodwa ngaphezu kwako konke, kuchaphazela imbono yakho yokuba lixhoba labanye okanye lekamva. Oku kunokuya ngase i-narcissistic victimization syndrome.

Abantu abanesi sifo bavalwe ngokupheleleyo. Abanakuphila ubomi babo ngokuqhelekileyo. Emehlweni abo, yonke into ingumqobo okanye umthombo wokubandezeleka okutsha.

Ikhonkco phakathi kokuxhatshazwa kunye nokwenzakala

Umothuko ngokubanzi sisiseko sokuxhatshazwa ngokweencwadi ezininzi. Ngokwenene, umntu uya kuguqukela kwicala abunjwe kulo ukususela ebuntwaneni. Oku kuthetha ukuba Umothuko wangaphambili ke ngoko uya kuphembelela umntu kwinqanaba lokuziphatha. Okukhona ukwenzakala okukhulu, kokukhona umntu evalekile kwaye ke ngoko uya kuba sesichengeni. Oku kuchaza isizathu sokuba lixhoba nje.

Ukuxhatshazwa: isixhobo se-narcissistic manipulator?

I-narcissistic manipulator inokusebenzisa imo yexhoba ukukhohlisa ixhoba. Ngokuzifihla ngolo hlobo kuba lula kuye ukufihla ubume bakhe kunye neenjongo zakhe. Oku kunokude kusebenzele kuye, kuba oku unokwenza ixhoba lakhe lidlale indima yombulali ukuze akhuthaze igqiza lamva ukuba limjike. Yiyo loo nto kubalulekile ukwazi ukuba ungazibhaqa njani iinjongo zomntu ophethwe kukuzixhwalekisa, unokufihla i-introverted narcissistic manipulator.

Ungabuphinda njani ubomi bakho emva kokuphuma kwixhoba?

Emva kokuphuma ngempumelelo kwixhoba, umntu kufuneka ahlale elumkile. Into yokuqala kukuphepha ukunxibelelana ne-a ubuntu obuyityhefu. Ngokwenene, nangona ekwazile ukuphumelela umlo wakhe kufuneka ahlale ephaphile. Unokubuyela kwimikhwa yakhe emibi kwaye ngoko ke abe lixhoba kwakhona kumntu wonke.

Iimbekiselo zeBibliographic ukubaleka ukuxhatshazwa

Nalu ukhetho lweembekiselo zebhayibhili kumxholo othi “Ukuphuma ekuxhatshazweni”:

1. Jodelet, D. (2015). La victimisation vue sous l’angle de la psychologie sociale : l’apport de Serge Moscovici. Dans Sociétés, 2015/4 (n°130), pages 23 à 39.
2. Grinshpun, Y. (2019). Introduction. De la victime à la victimisation : la construction d’un dispositif discursif.
3. Jacobi, B. (2010). Être victime. Dans Cliniques Méditerranéennes, 2010/2 (n°82), pages 199 à 205.
4. Belaygue, C., Crescence, A., Brandibas, G., & Sudres, J.-L. (2021). De victimisation en résilience. Dans Cahiers de l’Actif, 2021/3, pages 179 à 195.
5. Prud’homme, D. (2011). La violence conjugale : quand la victimisation prend des allures de dépendance affective!. Dans Reflets, 2011 (vol.17, n°1), pages 180 à 190.
6. Arènes, J. (2020). Le sujet contemporain et le statut de la victimisation. Dans Accueillir la vulnérabilité : Approches pratiques et questions philosophiques, Toulouse, Érès, pages 187 à 205.
7. Chaumont, J.-M. (1997). La concurrence des victimes : génocide, identité, reconnaissance. Paris, La Découverte.

Ezi zimbekiselo zibonelela ngembono enzulu ngengcinga yokuxhatshazwa kunye neendlela zokuyoyisa, kugxininiswa kwiindlela zengqondo, ezentlalo kunye neengxoxo.

Ukuqukumbela

Ukuphuma ekuxhatshazweni yindlela entsonkothileyo, kodwa ibalulekile ukuze uphinde ulungelelane kunye nokuzimela. Ngokulandela la manyathelo kunye nokuqonda iindlela ezidlalwayo, kunokwenzeka ukoyisa le ndima ukwakha ubomi obuzalisekileyo. Zonke iinzame zibalulekile ukuya kuguqulelo olungcono lwakho.