Ukugqashula Ekuba Yizisulu – Amathiphu ama-5 Okufanele Uwalandele

Ukuphuma ekuhlukunyezweni kuyinqubo ende futhi eyisicefe. Nokho kuyisinyathelo esibalulekile okufanele sithathwe ukuze kuzuze wena kanye nalabo abaseduze kwakho. Ngakho, ingabe uyisisulu? Lesi sihloko sizokusiza ukuthi uphume kule ndima.

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Izinyathelo ezi-5 zokuphuma ekuhlukunyezweni

Nazi izinyathelo zokuphuma ekuhlukunyezweni.

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1. Funda nge-Karpman Triangle
2. Yamukela ukuthi sisesimweni sokuzicekela phansi
3. Buyisa izintambo zempilo yakho
4. Yamukela iqiniso lokuthola usizo lwesikhashana
5. Qalisa ukuzikhuthaza

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1. Yazi i-Karpman Triangle

Kumele uqonde isimo okuso. Ukuphumelela ukukhomba inkinga yingxenye yokuqala yokuyixazulula. Lonxantathu omangalisayo yiwo oxhumanisa umbulali nesisulu sakhe. Ungaqala esikhundleni sokuba isisulu bese udlulela kuleso somshushisi. Lo mbuthano ononya uyaqhubeka, yingakho kufanele sifune indlela yokushiya i-narcissistic pervert uma lokho kuyimvelo yomshushisi wakho.

2. Yamukela ukuthi sisesimweni sokuzicekela phansi

Ukuphumelela ekwamukeleni ukuthi sinobuntu obunobuthi obusibhubhisayo kubalulekile. Ngokuphumelela ekuvumeni ubuthakathaka bakho, uzokwazi ukunqamula inqubo yokuba yisisulu. Lena indlela engcono kakhulu yokuthola ibhalansi yangaphakathi.

3. Buyisa izintambo zempilo yakho

Unesibopho ngokuyinhloko ngempilo yakho. Lokhu okwenzeka kuwe kungenxa yokuthi ukuvumele kwenzeke. Kuyenzeka ukuthi uma siqhamuka nenkinga noma isithiyo esinzima, siyaphuma ekuhlukunyezweni. Kodwa ngokuthatha indima yesisulu, uzibeka engcupheni yokunamathela kuyo. Ngakho-ke, isixazululo esingcono kakhulu ukuthatha isimo sengqondo sokusebenza ukuze ubuyele ezinyaweni zakho.

4. Yamukela iqiniso lokuthola usizo lwesikhashana

Ukuze unqobe ngempumelelo ukuzilimaza, kungase kudingeke usizo. Ukungenelela kwesazi sokusebenza kwengqondo noma udokotela wengqondo kungase kudingeke. Nokho, lokhu akufanele kugcinwe isikhathi eside kakhulu. Ukwelashwa kuzoba kufushane, akulona usizo ozolugcina esikhathini eside.

5. Qalisa ukuzikhuthaza

Uma usukhululiwe, udinga ukuya phambili. Ungalindi usizo oluvela ngaphandle. Ngeyakho izinhlelo ezintsha zokuziphatha, udinga ukuzigcina usezingeni eliphezulu. Ugqozi olungcono kakhulu kuwe luhlala lungaphezu kwayo yonke ingqondo yakho futhi ngaphezu kwakho konke ukulwa nalo ngokuqinile ukuzizonda.

Kungani sishukunyiselwa ekubeni izisulu?

Ngokuvamile, akekho umuntu akafuni ukuba isixhumanisi esibuthakathaka. Uvame ukuxoshwa ngenkani ebuntwini bakhe bangempela ayiswe kulobo bokuhlukunyezwa. Indlela engcono kakhulu yalokhu ukwesabisa noma udlame. Ngokuphula ingqondo yomuntu, uyoba imvu nje engenakuzisiza.. Yilapho eba yisisulu sangempela.

Yiziphi izimbangela zokuhlukunyezwa?

Izinto eziphoqa umuntu ukuthi azihlukumeze ziningi.

• Iqiniso lokuba ukungazethembi. Uzothambekela ekubeni yisitebhisi sawo wonke umuntu. Uma uzicisha kakhulu, kuzoba lula ukuthi abanye bakuthathe kukho konke okwenzayo.
• Ujwayele ukubona abanye njengabaphakeme kuwe kukho konke okwenzayo. Uyobe usuba nomkhuba wokuphendukela kwabanye ngobunzima obuncane.
• Ukuhlala nendawo ecindezelayo. Uma abasondelene nawe behlezi bekubeka phansi, uzogcina usuyisisulu esiphelele. Lokhu ngokuvamile kwenzeka ezinganeni emndenini wama-narcissistic perverts.

Iyini imiphumela yokuhlukunyezwa?

Ukuze siqonde ukubaluleka kokuphuma ekuhlukunyezweni, kufanele sibone imiphumela yalokhu empilweni yomuntu ohlukunyeziwe.

• Lowo ohlukunyeziwe uyohoxa kuye futhi anqunywe kwabasondelene naye.
• Uzolahlekelwa ukwethembeka ngokukhononda kakhulu. Futhi labo abaseduze naye bayobe becasuka kakhulu.
• Umuntu angase azame ukucasha ngokuba yisisulu.

Izimpawu zokuzihlukumeza

Ngokwencwadi ye-psychology ekhuluma nethuba lokuphuma ekuhlukunyezweni, kunezibonakaliso ezahlukene ukuze kubonakale ukuthi umuntu uyathinteka yini kulokhu kuthambekela.

1. Ukulahlekelwa ukulawula ukuphila komuntu.
2. Ukuba nobunzima obukhulu ukuzivikela.
3. Vumela impilo yakho ukuthi iqondiswe noma ithonywe abanye.
4. Ukuzidabukela nakho konke okwenzeka empilweni yakho.
5. Kungaze kube umlutha, kuze kube yilapho umuntu ekusebenzisa njengezaba zalokho okwenzeka kuye.

Ukuhlukunyezwa kanye ne-Calimero Syndrome

Kufanele wazi ukuthi I-Calimero syndrome ingenye indlela yokuhlukunyezwa. Kuhlanganisa ukucabanga ukuthi konke okwenzayo akukuthandi futhi konke kwenzeka kuwena kuphela. Siyaqaphela ukuthi lesi sifo sibangela a ukwanda okubukhali kokukhathazeka kwakho. Kodwa ngaphezu kwakho konke, kuthinta umbono wakho wokuba isisulu sabanye noma sokudalelwa. Lokhu kungaya ngase i-narcissistic victimization syndrome.

Ngakho-ke abantu abanalesi sifo bavinjelwe ngokuphelele. Abakwazi ukuphila ukuphila kwabo ngendlela evamile. Emehlweni abo, yonke into iyisithiyo noma umthombo wokuhlupheka okusha.

Isixhumanisi phakathi kokuhlukunyezwa nokuhlukumezeka

Ukuhlukumezeka ngokuvamile kuyisisekelo sokuhlukunyezwa ngokusho kwezincwadi eziningi. Ngempela, lowo muntu uzoguqukela lapho aye walolongwa khona kusukela ebuntwaneni. Lokhu kusho ukuthi Ngakho-ke ukuhlukumezeka okwedlule kuzothonya umuntu ezingeni lokuziphatha. Lapho ukuhlukumezeka kubi kakhulu, yilapho umuntu evaleka kakhulu futhi ngenxa yalokho uzoba sengozini. Lokhu kuchaza ukuthi kungani eyisisulu nje.

Ukuhlukunyezwa: ithuluzi le-narcissistic pervert?

Umphendukezeli we-narcissistic angasebenzisa isimo somuntu ukuze akhohlise isisulu sakhe. Ngokuzifihla enjalo kuba lula kuye ukufihla ubunjalo bakhe nezinhloso zakhe. Lokhu kungamsebenzela, ngoba lokhu angabeka indima yombulali phezu kwempango yakhe ukuze akhuthaze ithimba lakamuva ukuba limjike. Yingakho kubalulekile ukwazi ukuthi uzibona kanjani izinhloso zomuntu ohlushwa ukuzilimaza, kungafihla a introvert narcissistic pervert.

Ungaqala kanjani kabusha impilo yakho ngemuva kokuphuma ekuhlukunyezweni?

Ngemva kokuphuma ngempumelelo ekuhlukunyezweni, umuntu kufanele ahlale eqaphile. Into yokuqala ukugwema ukuthintana ne-a ubuntu obunobuthi. Ngempela, nakuba ekwazile ukuyinqoba impi yakhe kufanele ahlale eqaphile. Angakwazi ukubuyela emikhubeni yakhe emibi futhi ngenxa yalokho abe yisisulu futhi kuwo wonke umuntu.

Izinkomba ze-bibliographic zokubalekela ukuhlukunyezwa

Nali iqoqo lezinkomba zemibhalo yeBhayibheli endikimba ethi “Ukuphuma ekuhlukunyezweni”:

1. Jodelet, D. (2015). Ukuhlukunyezwa okubonwa ku-engeli ye-social psychology: umnikelo ka-Serge Moscovici. e izinkampani, 2015/4 (n°130), amakhasi 23 kuya ku-39.
2. Grinshpun, Y. (2019). Isingeniso. Ukusuka ekuhlukunyezweni ukuya ekuhlukunyezweni: ukwakhiwa kwethuluzi eliphikisayo.
3. Jacobi, B. (2010). Ukuba yisisulu. e Imitholampilo yaseMedithera, 2010/2 (n°82), amakhasi 199 kuya ku-205.
4. I-Belaygue, C., Crescence, A., Brandibas, G., & Sudres, J.-L. (2021). Kusukela ekuhlukunyezweni kuya ekuhlukunyezweni nokuqinisela. e Amabhuku Amanothi Efa, 2021/3, amakhasi 179 kuya ku-195.
5. Prud’homme, D. (2011). Udlame lwasekhaya: lapho ukuhlukunyezwa kuthatha ukubonakala kokuncika emoyeni!. e Ukucabangisisa, 2011 (vol.17, n°1), amakhasi 180 kuya ku-190.
6. Arenes, J. (2020). Isihloko sesimanje kanye nesimo sokuhlukunyezwa. e Ukwamukela ukuba sengozini: Izindlela ezisebenzayo nemibuzo yefilosofi, Toulouse, Érès, amakhasi 187 kuya ku-205.
7. Chaumont, J.-M. (1997). Ukuncintisana kwezisulu: ukuqothulwa kohlanga, ubunikazi, ukuqashelwa. Paris, The Discovery.

Lezi zikhombo zinikeza umbono ojulile ngombono wokuhlukunyezwa kanye nezindlela zokuwunqoba, ngokugcizelela ezindleleni zengqondo, ezenhlalakahle kanye nezingxoxo.

Isiphetho

Ukuphuma ekuhlukunyezweni kuyindlela eyinkimbinkimbi, kodwa kubalulekile ukuze uphinde uthole ibhalansi nokuzimela. Ngokulandela lezi zinyathelo kanye nokwazi izindlela ezidlalwayo, kungenzeka ukunqoba le ndima ukuze wakhe impilo egcwele. Yonke imizamo ibalulekile ukuze uye enguqulweni engcono yakho.

Izinombolo zocingo ezithi 17, 3114 no-3919 ezishiwo kuleli khasi zisebenza ezinsizeni zaseFrance.