Ukuzonda: into ekufuneka uyazi malunga nale mvakalelo itshabalalisayo

Ngamaxesha ngamaxesha, kuqhelekile ukuva ilizwi elincinci elibi entlokweni yakho. Nangona kunjalo, xa ifika kakhulu, i ukuzithiya inokuba luhlobo lweentlungu ezintsonkothileyo ekunzima ukujongana nazo ngokwakho. Nantsi into ekufuneka uyazi ngokuzithiya.

Yintoni ukuzithiya?

Ukuzithiya, okanye ukuzithiya, kukuzigxeka ngokugqithiseleyo. Umntu ofumana le mvakalelo ubandezeleka kakhulu ukungazithembi udandathekile. Usenokuziva ngathi akukho nto ayenzayo ekhe ilunge ngokwaneleyo okanye akazifanelanga izinto ezintle ezenzeka kuye. Ukuzithiya kunokuziva ngathi kukho umntu okulandelayo imini yonke, okugxekayo nokwalatha iimpazamo zakho, okanye akuhlaze ngayo yonke impazamo yakho.

Kutheni ndizicaphukela? Iimpawu ezili-9 zokuzithiya

Ukuzigxeka yinxalenye ebalulekileyo yophuhliso lomntu. Ikuvumela ukuba uzuze ukukhula, ubuchule okanye ubulumko. Ngenxa yoku, kubalulekile ukuqonda umgca phakathi kokuzazi okunempilo kunye nokuzithiya. Ingakumbi xa uqaphela ukuba uneengcinga zokuzicaphukela eziphindaphindayo.

Kukho imiqondiso embalwa ekufuneka uyiqaphele enokukunceda ukuba ubone ukuba le nto uziva ngayo inxulumene nokuzithiya:

1. Iingcinga zakho ziyakuthintela ekufezekiseni iinjongo zakho okanye usebenze ngokugqibeleleyo ebomini bakho.
2. Awunako ukususa iingcinga zakho ezingalunganga.
3. Une-self-esteem ephantsi kakhulu kwaye uziva ngathi awukho mhle ngokwaneleyo kwinto oyenzayo.
4. Uhlala ugxininisa kwizinto ezingalunganga, nangona izinto ezintle zisenzeka.
5. Iingcinga zakho zokuzicekisa zibonakala zisiza kuwe ngaphandle kwesilumkiso.
6. Uziva ungento yanto kwaye udandathekile.
7. Unobunzima bokwamkela izincomo.
8. Uhlala ufuna imvume kwabanye ukuze uzive uqinisekisiwe.
9. Ukhe waneengcinga zokuzibulala.

Ukuba nayiphi na imiqondiso engentla ichaza into oye wadibana nayo okanye waziva kutshanje, mhlawumbi lixesha lokuqonda indlela onokufunda ngayo ukulawula iimvakalelo zakho.

Yintoni ebangela ukuzithiya?

Iimvakalelo zokuzithiya zibuhlungu kakhulu, kodwa ukufumana imvelaphi yezi mvakalelo linyathelo lokuqala elibhekiselele ekuphiliseni. Ukuba ukhathazwa ziingcinga ezinentiyo, cinga ngento ezizibangeleyo. Ngaba wenze impazamo emsebenzini? Ngaba uthando lwaphela kakubi? Ukuchonga i-trigger kunokukunceda ukuba ujongane ngcono neengcinga zakho ezinentiyo kwixesha elizayo xa zivela.

Ngaphandle kwezinto ezibangela ukuba umntu azithiye ngoko nangoko, zisenokubangelwa ziimeko zemo engqongileyo. Umzekelo, kukho abazali abagxekayo okanye iimpawu zobuntu ezinjengokufuna ukugqibelela. Zakuba ziqalise ukuziva ungento yanto nokungazithembi, kusenokuba nzima ukuzishukumisa.

Indlela yokulwa nokuzithiya?

Eyona ndlela ilungileyo yokulwa nokuzithiya kukuzithanda kwayefunda ukubuyisela ukuzithemba. Kukho ezinye iindlela ezisebenzayo zokuphumeza oku:

1. Bona ugqirha

Nangona kunokwenzeka ukwamkela imikhwa elungileyo yokulawula ukuzithiya, kusoloko kungcono ukufuna uncedo lobuchwephesha. Ukuya kunyango kuya kukuvumela ukuba ujonge iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokwenza iingcinga zakho zokuzithiya zinyamalale.. Kuba kukho iintlobo ezininzi zonyango, ungalibazisi ukudibana nogqirha onamava ukuze ufumanise ukuba loluphi olufanelene kakhulu nemeko yakho.

2. Camngca

Kumntu oneengcinga ezimnyama, umbono wokucamngca unokubonakala ukude nokuphumla. Nangona kunjalo, ukucamngca akufuni ukuba uvale iingcinga zakho. Ngokwahlukileyo koko, icela nje ukuba unikele ingqalelo engakumbi kubo.

Ukumamela ngakumbi iingcinga zakho, kwaye emva koko wenze ukhetho oluqinisekileyo malunga nendlela oza kuphendula ngayo kubo, nokuba ungazihoyi okanye uyazamkela, indlela enkulu yokulwa neengcinga ezimbi kunye neemvakalelo ezimbi. Ukuba kunzima nokucamngca, ziqhelaniseunyango lobugcisa yenye indlela enomdla yokugxotha iingcinga zakho ezimbi.

3. Zingqonge ngabantu abanesimo sengqondo esihle

Ukukuxhasa kwimizamo yakho, kuyacetyiswa ukuba uzingqonge nabantu abakuxabisayo kwaye bakukhuthaze ukuba ube ngowona guqulelo lungcono kuwe. Ngale ndlela, ilizwi elibi entloko yakho liya kuba namandla amancinci phezu kwakho. Inkxaso evela kwabo basondeleyo kuwe inokukunika inkuthazo yokulwa neemvakalelo zakho ezingalunganga ukuze uphile ubomi obonwabisayo.

I-Bibliographic reference yokuqonda ukuzithiya

Nazi iimbekiselo ezisixhenxe zenzululwazi kumxholo othi “ukuzithiya”:

1. Alberto Eiguer. La haine de soi et de l’autre : Psychanalyse de la stigmatisation. Paris : Dunod, 2022.
2. Theodor Lessing. La haine de soi ou le refus d’être juif. Paris : Pocket, 2011.
3. Eva Brabant-Gerö. “Haine de soi, haine de l’autre”. Le Coq-héron, 2018/1 (N° 232), pages 9 à 16.
4. Daniel Sibony. “La « haine de soi », mauvais concept”. Le Coq-héron, 2018/1 (N° 232), pages 17 à 26.
5. François Ladame. “Haine et adolescence : qui hait qui ?”. Adolescence, 2015/2 (T. 33 n°2), pages 289 à 300.
6. Georges Gachnochi. “La haine de soi : de la culpabilité au narcissisme”. Le Coq-héron, 2018/1 (N° 232), pages 39 à 47.
7. Alain Ehrenberg. La fatigue d’être soi : dépression et société. Paris : Odile Jacob, 1998.

Ezi zingqinisiso zinika imbono enzulu malunga nombono wokuzithiya, ukuyibeka kwiimeko zengqondo, intlalo kunye nenkcubeko.

Ukuqukumbela

Ukuzithiya kunokubonakala kunzima, kodwa akunakuphepheka. Ngokufunda ukuqonda izizathu zayo kunye nokuzijikeleza ngenkxaso, kunokwenzeka ukuguqula eli lizwi elingaphakathi elibi. Zinyamekele kwaye, ukuba kuyimfuneko, musa ukuthandabuza ukucela uncedo. Ufanelwe kukuphila ngokuzicingela kwaye uphinde uqiniseke ukuba ungubani na.

👇 Ukuya phambili:

• Imiqondiso yokuKhanya kweGas-Yonke into ekufuneka uyazi
• Yintoni ekufuneka uyazi malunga nesifo sokulahla
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