Pha ukwenzakala okwesibini ibhekisa kumava okwenzakala okutsha okanye ukwenziwa mandundu komothuko wakudala xa ixhoba lizifumana likwimeko ukuhlaziya okanye ulawulo olulambathayo lobudlelwane boluntu. Oku kunokwenzeka ngenxa yokuphindaphinda okunyanzeliswayo, apho umntu ekhetha iimeko okanye ubudlelwane obuqhubekayo bondla okanye bubi ngakumbi ukwenzakala kwabo.
Umzekelo wokwenzakala okwesibini
Umntu owaxhatshazwa ngokwesondo esengumntwana angazifumana, njengomntu omdala, ekubudlelwane apho aphinde ahlelwe bubundlobongela obuphathelele kwezesondo kwakhona. Kule meko, i-trauma yasekuqaleni iphinda isebenze, kodwa ixhoba lifumana la mava njengentlungu entsha, ebeka kumjikelezo oqhubekayo wokubandezeleka. Le nto inokwenzeka nakwimixholo ye ukuvuselela uluntu, umzekelo, xa umntu osesichengeni sokuxhatshazwa ngokuphindaphindiweyo esiba likheswa, angafunwa, okanye abe nebala kubudlelwane bakhe nabanye abantu.
Ukwenzakala okwesibini kunokukhokelela ku:
Want to break free from this hold?
- Ukuba mandundu kweempawu: Ukufumana kwakhona iimeko ezibuhlungu kunokukhokelelaukuqina kweempawuenxulunyaniswa nokwenzakala kokuqala, okufana neeflashbacks, amaphupha amabi, ukuphazamiseka kwexhala, okanyeuxinzelelo lwasemva kokwenzakala(PTSD). Iimvakalelo ezingasonjululwanga ukusuka kwixesha elidlulileyo ziphinda ziphinde zongeze amanxeba amatsha, okwenza ukuphilisa kube nzima ngakumbi.
- A ukuziva uphelelwe lithemba okanye ukuphelelwa lithemba: Ixhoba lisenokukholelwa ukuba limiselwe ukuba lixhoba elihlala lihleli, alinakukwazi ukutshintsha ikamva lalo, okanye alinakukwazi ukulawula ubomi balo. Oku kunokomeleza ukuziphatha okuzitshabalalisayo, njengokukhobokisa, ukuzenzakalisa, okanye iingcinga zokuzibulala.
- Phaukungazithembinakwabanye: Nganye amava amatsha okwenzakala okufunyanwa kulo mjikelo ayomelezaumbono ongalungangangawe kunye nabanye. Ixhoba lisenokuba nemvakalelo enzulu yeukuphelelwa lithemba, ukucinga ukuba ulwalamano lwabantu lusoloko luyingozi okanye luyonakalisa.
Indlela yokuqhawula lo mjikelo wokuphindaphinda?
Ukuphiliswa kokuphindaphinda okunyanzelekileyo kunye nokuxhatshazwa kwesibini kufuna umsebenzi onzulu, ngokuphindaphindiweyo ngoncedo lwengcali yezempilo yengqondo. Nazi ezinye iindlela ezinokunceda:
- Ukuqaphela iipateni eziwonakalisayo: Inyathelo lokuqala lokuphiliswa kukwazi iipateni eziphindaphindwayo. Oku kunokuba nzima kuba ezi ndlela zokuziphatha zihlala zingekho zingqondweni. I-Psychotherapy, ngakumbi i-cognitive yonyango lokuziphatha okanye i-schema therapy, inokunceda ukuchonga kunye nokwakhiwa kwezi schema.
- Phuhlisa amacebo amatsha okumelana : Ukufunda ukujamelana neemvakalelo kunye nokuxhalaba ngaphandle kokubhenela kwindlela yokuziphatha ezonakalisayo kubalulekile. Oku kunokubandakanya emotional regulation ubuchule, ukuphumla, okanye uqheliselo lokucinga olukuvumela ukuba uhlehle kwiimvakalelo ezibukhali.
- Ukwakha kwakhona ukuzithemba: Ixhoba kufuneka lifunde ukuzijonga ngendlela eyakhayo kwaye likholelwe ukuba lifanelwe kubudlelwane obuphilileyo nobunentlonipho. Oku kaninzi kubandakanya umsebenzi kwiukulungiswa komfanekiso wakho, ukwakhiwa ngokutsha kweukuzithembakunye nophuhliso lwesazisi esahlukileyo kwindima yomntu njengexhoba.
- Ukuthintela i-victimization syndrome: Kubalulekile ukuqaphela kwaye uphephe iimeko kunye nabantu abanokuthi baphinde babe ngamaxhoba. Oku kunokubandakanya ukusebenza kwi-relationship choices, ukufunda ukuchonga iimpawu zokuziphatha okuyityhefu okanye okuxhaphazayo kwasekuqaleni kobudlelwane.
Umjikelo wokuphindaphinda kunye nokwenzakala okwesibini – Zibangele ukuzitshabalalisa
THE phinda umjikelo kwaye i ukwenzakala okwesibini ziingqikelelo ezintsonkothileyo zengqondo ezichaza indlela amaxhoba omonzakalo anokuthi abambeke ngayo kwiipateni ezitshabalalisayo, ngokungenzi ngabom aphinde adlale iimeko ezibuhlungu ezidlulileyo. Oku kuguquguqukayo, okuhlala kungekho zingqondweni, kunokuba nzima kakhulu ukuqhawuka, ngakumbi xa umonzakalo wokuqala ungasonjululwanga okanye ungaqondwa kakuhle. Isenzeko esisisiseko salo mjikelo sisoloko sibizwa ngokuba uphindaphindo olunyanzelekileyo.
Isenzeko sokuphindaphinda okunyanzelekileyo
Igama elithile uphindaphindo olunyanzelekileyo yaziswa nguSigmund Freud ukuchaza isenzeko apho umntu, nangona umnqweno wakhe wokuqonda ukuba angaphindi aphinde abuyele kwimeko ebuhlungu, nangona kunjalo uzifumana ngokuzenzekela ukuvelisa iimeko ezifanayo nezo zabangela ukwenzakala kwabo bokuqala. Oku kuphindaphinda kunokubonwa ngokuziphatha, ukhetho lweqabane, izigqibo, okanye iziganeko zobomi “eziphinda” ukwenzakala kwasekuqaleni ngeendlela ezingokomfuziselo okanye ngokuthe ngqo.
Ingaba isebenza kanjani?
Indlela yokuphindaphinda okunyanzeliswayo isekelwe kwingcamango ephazamisayo: nangona umntu efuna ukubalekela intlungu yentlungu edlulileyo, uyakhangwa, ngokuqaphela okanye kungekhona, kwiimeko okanye abantu abavuselela le ntlungu. Oku kunokwenzeka kumanqanaba ahlukeneyo:
- Umzamo ongekho zingqondweni wokulawula umonzakalo: Ngokuvelisa kwakhona iimeko ezifanayo, ixhoba lizama, ngaphandle kokwazi, “ukudlala kwakhona” iukwenzakalangethemba lokubalungisaokanyeinkosiimeko, ukuze uphume nesiphumo esahlukileyo. Umzekelo, umntu othe waxhatshazwa kubudlelwane emva koko angakhetha iqabane elibonisa ukuziphatha kakubi okufanayo. Nangona kunjalo, ngeli xesha, unethemba lokuba uya “kuphumelela” okanye “ukusingatha” imeko ngendlela eyahlukileyo. Ngelishwa, eli linge lihlala lisilela, ukomeleza ukwenzakala endaweni yokuyicombulula.
- Ukuphindwaphindwa kweepateni zobudlelwane: Abantu abaye bafumana unxunguphalo, ingakumbi ukuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo okanye ukungahoywa, banokuphinda Iipateni zobudlelwane owonakalisayo. Basenokuthi, umzekelo, bafune amaqabane abaphatha kakubi, nokuba ngobudlelwane obuxhaphazayo, ukulahlwa ngokweemvakalelo, okanye ukungahoywa. Lo mcimbi ngokuyinxenye ubangelwa kukusilela ukuzibona uxabisekile okanye ukuziva ungekho zingqondweni ukuba ubani “ufanelwe” lolu hlobo lonyango. Umothuko wangaphambili uyaphindwa ngoko kubudlelwane, udala umjikelo okhohlakeleyo apho umntu efumana amanxeba ngokweemvakalelo ngokuphindaphindiweyo.
- Ukungakwazi ukusinda kwi-trauma: Esinye isizathu sokuba umntu atsaleleke kwiimeko ezifana ne-trauma feeling of déjà vu. Ukuba ukwenzakala kokuqala akusonjululwanga ngokupheleleyo, kunokuqhubeka influence iingcinga zakhe kunye nokuziphatha. Ngokomzekelo, umntwana okhulele kwikhaya elinesiphithiphithi okanye elixhaphazayo, njengomntu okhulileyo, usenokuba nobunzima ekuzifumaneni kwindawo esempilweni. Usenokufuna iimeko zoxinzelelo, ingxabano, okanye impatho-mbi engazi ngenxa yokuba ezi meko zihambelana nendlela yakhe “eqhelekileyo” yokusebenza ngokweemvakalelo.
Kutheni oku kuphindaphindwa kuzingisa?
Oku kuphindaphinda okuguquguqukayo kunokubonakala kungenangqondo, kodwa kusekelwe kwiinkqubo ezininzi zengqondo:
- The unconscious: Inxalenye yengqondo yomntu ifuna avoid utshintsho, nokuba olo tshintsho lunokuba luncedo. Ukungazi nto kudla ngokukhetha ukuphindaphinda iipateni ezaziwayo (kwanazo ziyonakalisayo) kunokujongana nokungaqiniseki kotshintsho. Oku kuchaza isizathu sokuba amanye amaxhoba okwenzakala ebonakala “etsalela” amava abuhlungu afanayo.
- Imfuno yolawulo kunye nokuqikelelwa: Ukwenzakala, ngakumbi ukuba kunamava emncinci, kunokudala i-Qoqo ifuna ukuqikelela. Nangona le meko ibuhlungu, iqhelekile kwaye “inokuxelwa kwangaphambili.” Oku kunokukhokelela umntu ukuba akhethe ngokungazi kakuhle iimeko ezifanayo ezibonelela ngohlobo lwe- ebonwa ngolawulo, nokuba olo lawulo luyonakalisa okanye luyinkohliso.
- Imodeli yengqondo efakwe ngaphakathi: Ngenxa yokwenzakala, umntu uhlala ephuhlisa imodeli yengqondo apho internalize ingcamango yokuba banoxanduva okanye ukuba bafanelwe ukubandezeleka. Oku kunokubangela utyekelo lokukhetha iimeko okanye amaqabane aphinda avelise le ndlela yokuxhatshazwa okanye yokungahoywa. Lo mzekelo wangaphakathi othi “mna = ixhoba” emva koko ube yiprism apho atolika khona iziganeko zobomi.
Ngaba ufuna ukuthetha nomntu oqondayo?
I-Cristina ixhasa amaxhoba e-narcissistic manipulators iminyaka. Isicwangciso sesenzo esibambekayo ukusuka kutshintshiselwano lokuqala. Iseshini yoqeqesho lwevidiyo yomntu ngamnye (iSkype okanye iWhatsApp) — €100 ngeseshoni nganye.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.