Ikhonkco phakathi kokungazithembi kunye nokudakumba

Ukungazithembi kunye nokudandatheka zizimo zengqondo eziluthwaxa ngamandla uluntu. Zinokuyonakalisa ngokunzulu ingqondo yomntu, zityhalela phambili kwiimeko ezithile. Ngoko sinokuyoyisa njani le nto?

Ikhonkco phakathi kokungazithembi kunye nokudakumba

THE ukungazithembi nto leyo ekhokelela ekuthandabuzekeni ngexabiso lomntu inekhonkco elibangela ukudakumba. Ngokwenene, oku kungazithembi kunye nolu tyekelo lunamandla lokuzibeka phantsi kunokwenzakalisa kakhulu umoya wakho. Oku kunokwenziwa mandundu ngokulula kwimekobume edandathekisa ngakumbi kwizigulo zengqondo zomntu. Okukhona ukungabikho kokuzithemba, kokukhona amathuba okuwela kuxinzelelo.

Ukuzithemba okuphantsi-unobangela wokudakumba?

Kunokuba ibe ngoyena nobangela wodandatheko, uphononongo lucebisa inxalenye enkulu yokuba oku kungabikho kokuzithemba kunegalelo. Inyaniso yokuba umntu uyazithandabuza ngamandla, ukuba ucinga ukuba ungaphantsi xa ethelekiswa nabanye ibenza buthathaka ngokwasengqondweni. Ngenxa yoko, kuyacaca ukuba uya kunyamezela ukothuka ngokweemvakalelo. Oku kungabikho kokuzithemba kuchaphazela kakhulu ingqondo ebuthathaka enokuthi iwele ngokulula kuxinzelelo kunye nonobangela impembelelo yengqondo.

Zeziphi iimpawu zokungazithembi?

Kukho izinto ezahlukeneyo ezibangela ukuba ulahlekelwe yintembelo. Eneneni, ukungazithembi kunokuphumela kukwenzakala okanye kwanangenxa yabazali. Nangona ezi zibangela zinokwahluka, kukho iimpawu eziqhelekileyo zokuchonga ukungazithembi komntu.

• Ukuva umbono okanye ukuziva ungaqondwa kakuhle
• Ukuziva ukungakhathali kwabanye
• Ukuziva ungaphantsi kunabanye
• Ubukho bemvakalelo enamandla yokuba netyala malunga nokungakwazi ukuhamba
• Ukuba noloyiko emehlweni abanye
• Ukoyika kakhulu ukugxekwa

Ziziphi iimpawu zokudakumba?

Iimpawu zokudakumba ngenxa yokungazithembi zingahlelwa zibe ziindidi ezimbini.

Iimpawu zomzimba

• Umntu usenokuziva edinwe kakhulu
• Amandla aphantsi kakhulu kunye nokuziva ungaphumli kakhulu
• Ukuphazamiseka kokulala, umntu unokulala kakhulu okanye akonelanga
• Ukuncipha okanye ukwanda ngokukhawuleza kokutya
• Isiphithiphithi malunga nomdla wesondo
• Ukuvela kokuphazamiseka okuhlukahlukeneyo okunje ngentloko ebuhlungu kunye nezinye iintlungu ngasemva okanye esiswini

Iimpawu zengqondo

• Umntu uya kuziva ebuhlungu kakhulu
• Umntu uya kulahlekelwa ngumdla kwimisebenzi yezobugcisa, ezentlalo kunye nentsapho
• Uya kuba noloyiko olukhulu lokusilela.
• Ukuzithemba kwakhe kuya kuhla kancinci kancinci
• Uya kukufumanisa kunzima ukunikela ingqalelo kwinto ethile
• Ukwenza izigqibo kuya kuba nzima kakhulu
• Iingcamango zokuzibulala zisenokumkhathaza

Indlela yokuzithemba-ukhuseleko lwangaphakathi?

Isisombululo esona sisisombululo sokulwa nokungabikho kokuzithemba kukufezekisa ukhuseleko lwangaphakathi. Ngoko ke, unokuphinda ube nokuzithemba njani emva kokudakumba? Nazi iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokufumana uxolo lwangaphakathi.

• Fumana i-cocoon yokhuseleko. Yindawo apho unokutshaja kwakhona iibhetri zakho. Injongo yayo ephambili kufuneka ibe kukuthomalalisa kwaye ikuvumela ukuba uzive ukhuselekile. Le ndawo inokuba yipaki, igumbi lakho lokulala, kwindawo yokuhlambela yakho. Into ebalulekileyo kukuba kufuneka ngaphezu kwakho konke ukuzola kuwe.
• Qeqeshani nemisebenzi yomzimba. Imidlalo yindlela elungileyo yokuba ubuyele kwimilo ngokwasemzimbeni nasengqondweni. Umsebenzi wezemidlalo uya kwakha ingqondo enamandla kakhulu.
• Hlala ungqongwe. Kufuneka uuphuhlise ubomi bakho bentlalontle ukunqanda ukuwela emotional ukuxhomekeka. Ukuhlalisana kunye nokugcina ubudlelwane bakho nabo basondeleyo kuwe kunokwandisa ukuzithemba kwakho. Oku kuya kunceda ukunciphisa uxinzelelo lwakho malunga nokujonga kunye nokugweba abanye.

Ukunqongophala kokuzithemba kunye nokudakumba: Imposter syndrome

THE imposter syndrome olu luphazamiseko olunesiphumo sokwenza umntu aphike impumelelo yakhe. Ngokuqhelekileyo, umntu onesi sifo ngumntu ongazithembanga kakhulu. Uya kuba nexhala kwaye uya kubeka uxinzelelo oluninzi kuye, oku kuya kukhokelela ngokuthe ngqo kuxinzelelo. Ezi meko zengqondo zahlukeneyo zinxulunyaniswa. Oku kubonisa indlela ekubaluleke ngayo ukuzithemba komntu.

Narcissism ngokuchasene nokuzithemba

Sisenokuthi i-narcissism kunye nokuzithemba kuninzi okanye ngaphantsi kwento enye. Nangona kunjalo, kukho umahluko omkhulu, kwanobudlelwane obuphambeneyo. Ngokwenene, umzekelo, ukungabikho kokuzithemba kwisibini kunokuthanda ukuguqulwa kwesinye sezi zibini zibe yi-narcissistic manipulator.. Imiphumo yokungazithembi inokumtshintsha kakhulu umntu omaziyo. Kungenxa yoko le nto kubalulekile ukunyanga le ngxaki ngokukhawuleza kangangoko kunokwenzeka kunye neengcali.

Indlela yokuphatha ukuzithemba okuphantsi emva kokudakumba?

Ukwandisa ukuzithemba, kungcono ukhethe unyango oluxubileyo. Oku kuyacetyiswa xa ukuphazamiseka kuyingozi kakhulu kwisigulana. Oku kunjalo ngokukodwa xa lo mva enokuthi abonakalise umnqweno wokuzibulala.

• Unyango ngengqondo okanye i-psychotherapist. Inyaniso yokuba oku kunxulunyaniswa nokuziphatha kufuna ukuba luncedo kobukho bomntu. Ubukho bengcali akufanele buncitshiswe. Oku kuya kukunceda ukuba uzakhe kwakhona kwaye ngaphezu kwako konke, kuya kwenzeka ukuba wakhe ubuntu obunamandla kwixesha elide. Ingakumbi kuba ikwangumcebisi we-narcissistic pervert kunye nonyango lwakhe.
• Unyango lweziyobisi luyacetyiswa kwezona meko zinzima . Ewe, xa iindlela ezilula ezinje ngengxoxo, ukumamela kunye ne-hypnosis ayisebenzi ukuthomalalisa uhlaselo lokuxhalaba. Ii-antidepressants zinokusetyenziswa ukunceda umntu ochaphazelekayo.

Indlela yokubuyisela ukuzithemba emva kokudandatheka?

Ukuze uphinde ube nokuzithemba emva kokudakumba, nanga amanyathelo oza kufuneka udlule kuwo.

1. Yamkela iinyani zangoku nezexesha elidlulileyo. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba ukudakumba kwakho kube ngumphumo womothuko. Kufuneka uyamkele ukuba okwenzekileyo kwenzekile. Akukho nto unokuyenza ukutshintsha oku, ngoko ke yeka ukungcungcuthekisa ingqondo yakho ngale nto.
2. OYoyisa, kwaye ulwe. Kufuneka uqhubele phambili, wamkele amathuba amatsha afumanekayo kuwe. Zibandakanye kwizinto ezinempembelelo entle engqondweni yakho.
3. Live!!! Asikuko ukuba kufuneka ungakhathali, kodwa beka umngcipheko! Yamkele into yokuba asiyiyo yonke into oyenzayo elawulekayo. Kuya kuhlala kukho ukuguquguquka okungalindelekanga ngoko ungagxininisi ngayo. Ukukunceda ukuba uphumelele kwi-hump, unokufuna uncedo kwingcali.

Iimbekiselo zeBibliographic

Nazi iireferensi ezisixhenxe zebhayibhili kumxholo wokungazithembi kunye noxinzelelo:

1. Fanget, F. (2003). OSER : Thérapie de la confiance en soi. Paris : Odile Jacob.
2. Guédeney, N. (2011). Les racines de l’estime de soi : apports de la théorie de l’attachement. Devenir, 23(2), 129-144.
3. Ehrenberg, A. (1998). La fatigue d’être soi : dépression et société. Paris : Odile Jacob.
4. Naudet, M. (2017). Affirmation de soi, confiance en soi, estime de soi… Comprendre les concepts.
5. Université de Sherbrooke. (2021). L’estime de soi.
6. Psychologue Paris 7. (n.d.). Unxulumano phakathi kokudakumba kunye nokungazithembi.
7. Noblat, R. (2018). Impembelelo yonyango lobugcisa ekuzithembeni kwabantu abadala abane-syndrome ephantsi ukuya kwimodareyitha yokudakumba: impembelelo yokuzibandakanya kwisenzo sobugcisa. IYunivesithi yaseFrançois Rabelais.

Ezi mbekiselo zibonelela ngembono enzulu malunga nobudlelwane phakathi kokuzithemba okuphantsi kunye nokudakumba.