Uyangikhohlisa futhi ungenza ngizizwe nginecala – Kufanele ngenzeni?

Pho kungani engikhohlisa futhi angenze ngizizwe nginecala? Uzwa sengathi ushaywe ngesibhakela emathunjini. Ukuthola izindaba zomlingani wakho akuyona into oyibone iza. Ngenxa yalokho, uyazibuza ukuthi kungani uzizwa unemizwa eminingi, kuhlanganise nomuzwa wecala. Phela akuhlangene nawe. 

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Uyangikhohlisa futhi aqambe amanga, ungenza ngizizwe nginecala kungani?

Ukungathembeki, noma ukungathembeki, kungabangela zonke izinhlobo zemizwelo. Ukusuka entukuthelweni, ukuthuthumela nokudabuka kuya ehlazweni kanye nomuzwa wecala, lokho okuzwayo kungase kukuthathe ugibele ongazifuni.

AmaNarcissists avame ukukopela ngenxa yokuthi azikwazi ukuzithiba noma azikho nhlobo. Ngokuvamile akukhona emvelweni yabo ukumelana nesilingo sokufunza i-ego yabo ngemithombo emisha yokunaka.

Ukulawula umfutho ongemuhle, ukuzikhukhumeza, umuzwa okhuphukile wokuzibona ubalulekile, ukukhohlisa kobukhulu, ukuntula ukuzisola, uzwela namahloni, kanye nesidingo esiqhubekayo sokunikezwa kwe-narcissistic yizizathu eziyinhloko ezenza ama-narcissists aqambe amanga futhi akhohlise abalingani babo.

Futhi ngaphezu kwakho konke, bamane bacabange ukuthi bangakwazi ukuhlukana nakho.

I-Narcissistic Pervert – izimpawu eziyi-10 zokuthi uyakukopela

Nazi ezinye izimpawu:

1.  Unyamalala njalo futhi uhlala engacaci ukuthi ukuphi.
2.  Ukudlala ngothando ezinkundleni zokuxhumana
3. Akalubeki phansi ucingo lwakhe noma akuvumele ukuthi usondele kuyo.
4. Ukukusola ngokujola
5. Izinguquko ezisheshayo ekuziphatheni
6. Izinguquko ku-libido
7. Khansela izinhlelo njalo
8. Ukugwema ingxoxo mayelana nokuziphatha kwabo okunolaka
9. Ukukuthela ngezipho ungalindele.
10.  Ngokungaqondakali usebenzisa imali eningi ngemuva kwakho.

Yini okufanele uyenze lapho ubhekene nendoda engathembekile ekwenza uzizwe unecala?

Uma ubona noma yikuphi kwalokhu ” Amafulegi Abomvu Uma okungenhla kuyiqiniso, kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi ukukhohlisa akulona iphutha lakho. Iningi labantu abathanda ukuzikhukhumeza likhohlisa wonke umuntu elinaye, ikakhulukazi uma ubuhlobo noma umshado usuvele uzinzile.

• Kubalulekile futhi ukuqonda ukuthi ukukhohliswa yi-narcissist akusho ukuthi awuhlakaniphe kakhulu kunabo. Kuphambene impela. Ngakho into ebaluleke kakhulu ukungayinaki.
• Ama-Narcisists avame ukucabanga ukuthi ahlakaniphe kunozakwabo futhi angakwazi ukubalekela ukukopela. Kuwukubukela phansi umlingani wabo ukuthi benza amaphutha futhi babanjwe. Isixazululo esingcono kakhulu lapha ukuziqhelelanisa nawe.
• Ukuphikisana no-a I-PN engathembekile kungase kungenzeki ngendlela ocabanga ngayo. Ukuze wenze lokhu, kuyadingeka ukusetha imingcele yakho bese ushiya.

Lapho i-narcissist ibanjwa ikhohlisa futhi iqamba amanga (amanga ahlanekezela ama-narcissistic), ngokuvamile uqamba inqwaba yamanye amanga ukuze ukholwe ukuthi uye wathembeka kuphela. Ngisho noma unobufakazi bokukopela, kungenzeka ukuthi uzophika yonke into futhi aze aveze ukungathembeki kwakhe kuwe.

Kukhanyiswa uphethiloli kwabashadile

Angakwazi futhi ukuthukuthela futhi asebenzise inqubo ye « ukukhanya kwegesi« .

Kodwa kwenzekani lapho engasakwazi ukubuphika ubufakazi? Kuthiwani uma umbambe oqotsheni? Angase asole wena ngokungathembeki kwakhe.

Angase aqhamuke nezizathu eziyishumi nambili zokuthi kungani kube ukuziphatha kwakho okumenze wafuna ukunakwa ngaphandle kobudlelwane bakho noma umshado wakho. Ama-Narcisists azimisele ukusho noma yini ukuze asuse ukunaka kubo futhi abeke icala komunye umuntu.

Kungani beshiya imikhondo mayelana nokukhohlisa kwabo?

Ngeshwa, ama-narcissists awazisoli ngemuva kokukopela kuwe. Uma benomuzwa wecala, bangase bakwazi ukushintsha ukuziphatha kwabo futhi bayeke ukukopela.

Ayikho imiphumela eyanele ukushintsha izingqondo zabo ngoba, emehlweni abo, ukukopela akuyona into enkulu. Kuyindlela nje yokuzizwa ungcono ngawe.

Futhi yingakho beshiya umkhondo yonke indawo ukuze wazi ukuthi akukho okuzomlahlekela. Njengoba bengazisoli ngezenzo zabo, akukho okubavimbayo ukuthi baphinde bakwenze.

Ungasabela kanjani ekungathembeki?

Kufanele wazi ukuthi ukubhekana nomlingani ongathembekile akulula ngaso sonke isikhathi. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, kunemisebenzi eminingi ewusizo engakusiza ulwe nemizwa engemihle. Phela, ukungathembeki kungakushiya uzibuza ukuthi ungazithatha kanjani izingcezu bese uqala ukuya esimweni sakho esisha. Uma uzizwa sengathi ubambekile,

• Kungase kusize ukukhuluma nomngane noma ukubhala phansi imizwa yakho.
• Ukwengeza, kubalulekile ukuzinakekela.
• Ukuhlanzeka komuntu siqu, ukudla okunempilo, nokulala kungavusa imizwa eyakhayo ngokuzijwayeza nje.
• Ngokufanayo, ukuhamba ngezinyawo, ukuhamba ngezinyawo, noma olunye uhlobo lokuzivocavoca olukhipha i-endorphin lungakusiza ukhulule imizwa yentukuthelo nomuzwa wecala.

Uma uqhubeka nokuzizwa ubambekile noma ungakwazi ukucosha izingcezu, silapha ukuze sikusize. Ungathola usizo ezinhlanganweni ezikhethekile zalokhu, zingakusiza enqubweni yokwelapha. Ukuphila ngemva kokungathembeki kungaba okujabulisayo nokwanelisayo.

Ireferensi yezincwadi 

Nazi izikhombo zebhayibheli eziyisikhombisa endikimbeni yokukhohlisa:

1. Bok, Sisela. Amanga: ububi obudingekayo? Paris: Éditions du Seuil, 1989.
2. Goffman, Erving. Isiteji sempilo yansuku zonke: Ukwethulwa kwakho. I-Paris: Éditions de Minuit, 1973.
3. Ekman, Paul. Izinkulumo zomuntu zemizwa. Paris: Éditions du Seuil, 1972.
4. Dupuy, uJean-Pierre. I-metaphysics encane yama-tsunami. Paris: Éditions du Seuil, 2005.
5. Ariyeli, Dan. Yimi (ngempela?) enginqumayo: Izizathu ezifihliwe zokukhetha kwethu. Paris: Flammarion, 2010.
6. Smith, David Livingstone. Kungani siqamba amanga: Izimpande zebhayoloji nezengqondo zokukhohlisa. I-Paris: Editions de l’Homme, 2007.
7. Cosnier, Jacques. Inkohliso yomzimba: Amanga angakhulumi namaqiniso. EParis: Editions Odile Jacob, 1994.

Le misebenzi ihlinzeka ngombono ojulile mayelana nenkohliso, ikhuluma ngezici zayo ezingokwengqondo, ezenhlalakahle kanye nezimiso zokuziphatha.

Isiphetho

Lapho ubhekene nesimo esinjalo, kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi ukungathembeki komlingani we-narcissistic kanye nemizwa yecala ekubeka kuwe akulona neze iphutha lakho. Ukubuyisela emuva ukulawulwa kwenhlalakahle yakho, ukubeka imingcele ecacile, nokufuna ukusekelwa uma kudingeka kuyizinyathelo ezibalulekile zokuphulukisa. Nakuba ubuhlungu bungase bubonakale bungenakunqotshwa, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi nokusekelwa okufanele, kungenzeka ukubuyisela ukulinganisela ngokomzwelo futhi uphishekele ukuphila okuzolile nokwanelisayo.