Ukulawula ngetyala: inkcazelo, imizekelo kunye nendlela yokuyibaleka

Inkcazo: ukukhohlisa ngokusebenzisa ubutyala kubandakanya ukusebenzisa isiphoso – sokwenyani, sibaxo okanye esiyiliweyo – njengesixhobo sokulawula abanye. Kunokuba ubuze okanye unyanzelise, i-manipulator ikwenza ukuba wenze into ayifunayo kuba uziva unetyala ngokungayenzi. Sesona sixhobo sithandwayo se-narcissistic manipulator: ayibonakali, yaliwe, kwaye iyasebenza kakhulu kubantu abanovelwano.

Indlela yokusebenza: isazela sakho sokuziphatha sikujikile

Ubutyala, ekuqaleni, yimvakalelo ephilileyo: iyasilumkisa xa senze umntu buhlungu kwaye isityhalele ukuba silungise. I-manipulator iqweqwedisa lo msebenzi. Idala, igcine kwaye ivuselele isiphoso ukuze ufumane izinto ezintathu: ukuthobela kwakho (“ukuba ubundithanda, ubuya kuyenza le nto”), ukuthi cwaka kwakho (“emva kwayo yonke into endikwenzele yona”) kunye nokungashukumi kwakho (“unetyala kum”).

Amabinzana ukubonwa ngoko nangoko

• “Emva kwayo yonke into endikwenzele yona…” – ityala leemvakalelo alizange lihlawulwe.
• “Ukuba uyahamba, andizukuyiyeka loo nto” — ukungonwabi.
• “Kungenxa yakho ukuba ndinje” – ukuguqulwa koxanduva.
• “Abantwana baya kubandezeleka” – ukuhlambalaza kwabantu besithathu abamsulwa.
• “Ndikulumkisile” – impazamo yokubuyisela kwinketho yakho.
• “Wonke umntu unexhala ngam ngenxa yakho” – inkundla yentelekelelo.

Yintoni ephawulekayo ngezi zivakalisi: indisputable. Nayiphi na impendulo esengqiqweni ibuyiswa njengobungqina obungakumbi bokuzingca kwakho. Uya kufumana ezinye iindlela kuhlalutyo lwe-emotional manipulation kwingqiqo ebanzi.

Isizathu Sokuba Amaxhoba Anovelwano Elusukelo Olufanelekileyo

Ityala lisebenza kuphela kubantu abanezazela zokuziphatha zokwenene. Okukhona unoxanduva, inkathalo, ixhala lokuba wenze kakuhle – kokukhona unamandla ngakumbi i-lever. Obu asibobuthathaka: bubunjani obuphambukisiweyo kusetyenziso olusemthethweni. Ngokuqhelekileyo, umhlaba wawulungiswa ebuntwaneni, ngokukodwa ngothando olunemiqathango – ipateni eqhelekileyo kumntwana we-narcissistic mother.

Indlela yokuphuma kwityala elibekiweyo

• The Symmetry Test: Zibuze ukuba uyou unokuthetha esi sivakalisi kumntu omthandayo. Ukuba akunjalo, ayilothando, lulawulo.
• Ukwahlula iinyani kwiimvakalelo: “Ndiyaxolisa ukuba uziva ngolo hlobo” ayinguye “ndikwenzile.” Sinokuba novelwano ngaphandle kokuzivakalisa sinetyala.
• Ukubeka uxanduva kwindawo yabo: Iimvakalelo zomntu omdala zezakhe. Awunaxanduva ngolonwabo lomnye umntu.
• Boundaries ebhalwe kwangaphambili: lungiselela iimpendulo zakho kwiipunchlines, ukuze ungaphuculi phantsi kwemvakalelo.

Ukuya phambili: indlela yokuyeka ukuziva unetyala iinkcukacha zendlela, kunye ne-plan kumanyathelo ama-6 okushiya i-PN idibanisa lo msebenzi ukususela kulungiselelo lokuhamba.

Inkcazelo esuka kwi-Glossary ye-narcissistic pervert.