Umama we-Narcissistic: inkcazo, emva kwemiphumo kunye nendlela yokuzikhulula kuyo

Inkcazo: umama onesithukuthezi ngumama othi, endaweni yokusebenzisa isikhundla sakhe ukuze ancede umntwana wakhe abe nguye, asisebenzise ukondla umfanekiso wakhe aze avale izikhewu zakhe. Umntwana akabonwa ngento ayiyo, kodwa oko akuzisayo: ukuzingca, ukugwetyelwa, ibhokhwe okanye ukongezwa kwakhe. Olu lolona hlobo lolawulo luhlala luhleli kuba luqala ngaphambi kokuba umntwana abe namagama okulubiza.

Ukubonakaliswa okuqhelekileyo

• Umntwana ophumeleleyo: umntwana “oqaqambileyo” ukho kuphela ngeempumelelo zakhe, oqhayisa njengeembasa – kwaye wohlwaywa ngokoyiswa ngalunye.
• Ibhokhwe yokuhlangula: umntwana omiselweyo uthwala iziphoso zentsapho; iimfuno zakhe ziyahlekisa okanye azihoywa.
• Role reversal: ngumntwana othuthuzelayo, omamelayo, olawula iimvakalelo zomntu omdala – sithetha ngokuba ngumzali.
• Ikhwele elifihliweyo: “uneenwele ezintle … kube kanye” – impumelelo yomntwana ijongelwa phantsi ngokucwangcisiweyo.
• Uthando olunemiqathango: ububele busasazwa ngokobulali, burhoxiswa ngokwezimvo ezahlukeneyo.
• Uthelekiso phakathi kwabantwana bakowenu, phakathi kwabazala, phakathi kwentelekelelo “yentombazana efanelekileyo” kunye nomntwana wokwenyani.

Iziphumo zasemva ebudaleni

Ukukhula nomama we-narcissistic kushiya imikhondo ethile: aukungabikho ngokweemvakaleloezingapheliyo, ubunzima ukuchonga iimfuno zomntu, reflex ukukholisa ngazo zonke iindleko, ukoyika ukwaliwa ekwahlukaneni kancinane – kwaye kaninzi, sesichengeni ukuba manipulators xa umntu omdala. Isizathu sinengqiqo: ubuntwana busixhobisa ukuba sifune uthando apho lunemiqathango, kwayeisiphumo sesipiliLomcengi we-narcissistic ufana, ngokumangalisayo, nothando “olugqibeleleyo” esingazange sibe nalo. Ikhonkco kunye neukwenzakala ebuntwaneniiphuhliswa kwenye indawo kule ndawo.

Zikhulule kumama we-narcissistic

Inkululeko ayisoloko iza ngokugqabhuka: kuqala iza nge-clear vision. Ukuthiywa kweendlela-ityala, ukuguqulwa kwendima, uthando olunemiqathango-kuphuma kwisiphithiphithi “somama olungileyo / umama ongalunganga”. Emva koko, iindlela ezininzi:

• Isakhelo esingqongqo: oonxibelelwano abafutshane, iindawo zikawonke-wonke, izifundo ezingathathi hlangothi, akukho lwazi lomntu siqu – uhlobo lwe-gray rock method esetyenziswe kumzali.
• Umda wetyala: Awunaxanduva lobuntwana apho ubunikela ngaphezu koko ubufumene.
• Support: umsebenzi wonyango okanye uqeqesho lukuvumela ukuba uzilele ukulahlekelwa ngumama “ofanelekileyo” ongazange ube naye – ukuzila kuyimfuneko ukuze ube ngumzali wakho.

Ukwakhiwa kwakhona kulandela izigaba ezifanayo njenge-healing yobudlelwane befuthe: ukhuseleko, umzimba, ikhonkco, intsingiselo. Inde, isemthethweni, kwaye inokwenzeka.

Inkcazelo esuka kwi-Glossary ye-narcissistic pervert.