Yeka ukuzizwa unecala – Nawa amathiphu ayi-7

Unomuzwa wokuthi awulokothi wenze okwanele, ukuthi weqisa ” kakhulu ” noma lokho ongakwenzi “akwanele” , kungase kube ngcono ukuzibuza ukuthi awuzibeki icala ngezinto ezincane. Ukuzizwa unecala njalo kuwuphawu lokungazethembi. Kodwa wazi kanjani uma uzizwa unecala?

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Ungakuyeka kanjani ukuzizwa unecala ngaso sonke isikhathi? 7 amathiphu

Nawa amathiphu angu-7 okwelapha leli cala eliqhubekayo ozwayo:

1.   Vuma iphutha lakho:

Ngokuvamile kuthiwa wonke umuntu uyawenza amaphutha, kodwa abanye bethu bazizwa benecala isikhathi eside kunabanye. Futhi yilomuzwa wecala osidla ngaphakathi futhi usivimbele ekuchumeni. Ngakho i ukungazethembi. Funda kuleli phutha, sengathi lingaba yisifundo sesikhathi esizayo, kodwa linganivaleli. Kuyoba lula-ke kuwe ukuthi ungalenzi iphutha elifanayo esikhathini esizayo.

2.   Iphutha alinakugwenywa:

Sivame ukugxila emaphutheni ethu, futhi lokho kusivimbela ukuba sijabule futhi siqhubekele phambili. Zivumele ukuba wenze isono ngezikhathi ezithile. Ukuphila lapha emhlabeni akuphelele futhi ngeke kube okuphelele. Kodwa kumele ubekezele, funda ekuweni kwakho uqhubekele phambili. Kuthiwa “yimvula nelanga okwenza izitshalo zikhule” , okusho ukuthi ukungapheleli namaphutha kuyingxenye yokuphila.

3.   Zibeke phambili empilweni:

Lo muzwa ongavamile wokuthi sichuma ngemva kweshwa labanye usivimbela ekujabuleni. Icala lisilandela yonke indawo futhi siyakhohlwa ukuthi okubalulekile yilokho esikuzwayo. Khohlwa ukugxekwa, ingcindezelo evela kulabo abaseduze kwakho uma kukhona, futhi ugxile kuwena. Lwela inguqulo engcono kakhulu yakho nsuku zonke. Lokhu kugwema i ukuzizonda.

4.   Wonke umuntu unesibopho senjabulo yakhe siqu:

Kuyadingeka ukuthi injabulo yakho inciphise umzamo owenzela labo abaseduze kwakho. Wonke umuntu unesibopho sokuzinza kwakhe, kokubili ngokwengqondo nangokomzwelo. Uyathanda ukusola lapho abanye behlangabezana nezinkinga. Yazi ukuthi lokhu akubalulekile kuwe, okubalulekile nguwe kanye nentuthuko yakho.

5.   Vimba imicabango engadingekile:

Izimo ezithile zingasehlula, sizizwe sinecala futhi zidla amandla ethu nesikhathi sethu. Lena imicabango nje, kodwa ayibonisi iqiniso..

Gxila kulokho okubalulekile, lawula imizwa nemicabango yakho ukuze uphile kangcono futhi uzizwe unecala elincane.

6.   Bungaza ukuqhubeka kwakho:

Sivame ukugxila emaphutheni ethu, iphutha lethu lokugcina, kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo, nathi senza izinto ezinkulu. Sithola impumelelo encane ngezikhathi ezithile, ngaphandle kwethu ukuqaphela. SO gxila ezintweni ezinhle ozenzile namuhla izakwenzela okuhle.

7.   Shintsha owakho umbono wokuba necala:

Ukuze ugweme ukuhileleka esimweni sokuzizwa sinecala, buyekeza incazelo yakho yecala. Ngezinye izikhathi izinto azikufanelekeli ukuzwa lowo muzwa ongemuhle. 

Sazi kanjani ukuthi sizizwa sinecala?

Kubalulekile kuwe ukwazi ukuthi imibuzo yansuku zonke ikwenza ukhathazeke kuze kube seqophelweni lokuzizwa unecala.

Uma uhlushwa imibuzo efana “Ngabe ngenze kangcono ukube…” , “Ukube ngikwenzile lokhu, umphumela ubuzoba yilo…” Kuqinisekile ukuthi uzizwa unecala. Nawe ucabanga ukuthi wena “angifanelwe okungcono” noma okuphambene, futhi kukwenza uzizwe unecala ngokujwayelekile.

Ukukhathazeka kuwumthombo oyinhloko wecala, kusivimbela ekuboneni ngokucacile emaphutheni ethu futhi ngenxa yalokho kunomthelela ekuboneni kwethu. 

Uyini umehluko phakathi kwehlazo necala?

“Enye indlela yokuhlukanisa le mizwa emibili wukubala izehlakalo esiphatheke kabi kuzo bese sihlukanisa lezo eziwumphumela wesenzo sethu noma ukungenzi lutho kulezo eziwumphumela wendlela abantu abasibheka ngayo nezisiphazamise,” kusho uYves-Alexandre Thalmann, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo.

Kufanele ukwazi ukuhlukanisa amahloni okungukwahlulela okwenziwa ngabakuzungezileyo icala, umphumela wesenzo sakho noma ukuzithiba kwakho maqondana neqiniso elithile. Bhala imizwa yakho yosuku bese uzama ukuyihlukanisa ukuze uthole ukuthi uzizwa kanjani ngempela futhi ulungise izinyathelo zakho.

Kungani ngilokhu ngizizwa nginecala?

Isizathu sokuqala ukuthi ngezinye izikhathi, sithatha konke mathupha, ukuthi amaqiniso athile ayizithelo zezenzo zethu. Noma yikuphi isigwebo sisenza sizizwe sinecala. Umuzwa ube usuhlasela ingqondo yethu futhi uyasiphazamisa.

Kungenzeka futhi ukuthi sinakho ukuphazamiseka phakathi kwamagugu ethu nemizwa yethu. Isenzo esisifanelekelayo “wenze kabi” kungasicindezela ukuba singabaze izindinganiso zethu, ezigxile kakhulu kithi kusukela ebuntwaneni.  

Amacala ethu avelaphi?

A kuqala, lo muzwa uvela ebuntwaneni bethu. Sasivame ukugxiliswa ngezindinganiso nezimiso, kamuva, eziphambene neqiniso esiphila kulo. Abazali abagunyaziwe, imikhuba namasiko ephelelwe yisikhathi kungabangela lomuzwa wecala njalo kithi.

Ukuntula ukuqashelwa yilabo abasizungezile nakho kungasenza sizizwe sinecala ngezenzo zethu.

Singawelapha lomuzwa wecala?

Impendulo ithi yebo. Wonke umuntu uhlangabezana nezimo zakhe kodwa umuzwa uyafana. Okubalulekile ukuthi siyisingatha kanjani imizwa yethu, ukuthi ingasixaki. Ungakwazi ngokuphelele yeka umphumela ocashile walo muzwa ukubona izinto njengoba zinjalo, ungazami ukulungisa noma yini ukuze ungaweli emaphutheni.

Ngokubhala imizwa yakho yansuku zonke, uzokwazi lokho ngeke ukwazi ukuphatha yonke into, yenza konke kuphelele. Okungalindelekile kungenzeka kuwo wonke umuntu futhi umuzwa wecala awunayo ngempela indawo empilweni yakho.

Qoqa izenzo ezinhle ozifezile phakathi nosuku, uzokhululeka.

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