La ukuncika okuthintekayo isimo lapho umuntu edinga uthando olukhulu kwabanye. Lokhu kungabonakala nasebudlelwaneni bomshado, ubungane noma ngisho nomsebenzi womsebenzi. Lokhu kuphazamiseka kokuziphatha kungakhubaza kakhulu.
[shumeka_ividiyo][/ividiyo_shumeka]
Kuyini Ukuncika Kwemizwelo?
Ukunamathela ngokweqile komunye umuntu ukuze afeze izidingo ezingokomzwelo, okulimaza inhlalakahle yomuntu siqu.
UCristina unikeza iseshini yomuntu ngamunye ukukusiza uphume ekulawulweni okuhlukumezayo futhi wakhe impilo yakho kabusha.
lapho uthando nenhlonipho yomuntu kumiswa abantu bangaphandle. Lokhu kusho ukuthi umuntu uzofuna ukugunyazwa, ukunakwa noma ukugunyazwa ngomunye umuntu ngaso sonke isikhathi. Isici esizogqama kakhulu ukungazethembi kungakhathaliseki ukuthi wenzani. Umuntu uyobe esehoxa kakhulu futhi esaba ukulahlwa. Lokhu kuzomholela ekwamukeleni ukuhlushwa okubi kakhulu okunjengokuhlukunyezwa noma ngisho nobudlova obungokomzimba noma obungokwengqondo. Lesi sifo sibonakala ikakhulukazi phakathi kwabashadile.
Kungavelaphi Ukuncika Ngokomzwelo? Izimbangela
Ngakho yini eyenza ukuncika ngokomzwelo? Ukuncika ngokomzwelo kungaba nemvelaphi eminingana enjena:
- Umuntu unokunamathiselwe engozini. Abantu abashesha ukunamathela bancika kalula ebukhoneni babanye.
- Umuntu onemvelo evalekile kakhulu. Abantu abanamahloni noma abangenalwazi nabo basengozini.
- Ukuhluleka okuphindaphindiwe kwezothando nakho kungaba yimbangela. Ukungathembeki nokuthembela ngokomzwelo kuhlotshaniswa nesixhumanisi esiyimbangela. Umuntu uzonamathela ngokujulile kumlingani wakhe wesikhathi esizayo.
- Ukuba khona kokuhlukumezeka okuthile okukhona ngesikhathi sobuntwana kungaholela nakulokhu.
Yiziphi Izimpawu Zokuncika Kwemizwelo?
Uma sizisekela endleleni yokuncipha, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo noma isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo, ukuncika ngokomzwelo kungazibonakalisa ngezindlela ezihlukahlukene. Ukuhlonza ukuncika ngokomzwelo akulula ngaso sonke isikhathi, njengoba kungase kubonakale ngezindlela ezahlukene. Nokho, ezinye izimpawu eziphindelelayo zingasiza ukubona lolu hlobo lokuziphatha. Ukuziphatha okujwayelekile:
- Ukwesaba okungenangqondo kokulahlwa.
- a umona ogulayo uma eqhathaniswa nomlingani wakhe.
- Umuzwa wokunganeliseki ngalokho akwenzelwe yena.
- Ukuzethemba okuphansi kakhulu.
- Yiba nobunzima obukhulu ekwenzeni izinqumo.
- Iba nezici ezithile zokuziphatha okuyimpoqo.
- Isidingo esiqhubekayo sokuqinisekiswa abanye.
- Ukuzizwa ungelutho noma ungenamandla lapho omunye engekho.
- Ukuhlangana kwemizwelo lapho imingcele phakathi kwakho nabanye iba lufifi.
- Usesho oluqhubekayo lokuqinisekisa : Isidingo eseqile sokuncoma, ukunakwa, ukuqinisekiswa.
- Ukukhathazeka ngokuhlukana : Ukwesaba okukhulu lapho omunye engekho, noma lapho ebonakala ekude.
- Ukuzidela : Ukulahla izidingo zakho, izifiso namaphupho ukuze ujabulise omunye.
- Icala noma ukukhathazeka ngokweqile : Ukukhathazeka njalo ngokungenzi kahle noma ukungafinyeleli okulindelwe omunye umuntu.
- Ukuhlangana kwemizwelo : Ubunzima bokwenza izinqumo uwedwa, ukuchaza amanani omuntu noma ukugcina imisebenzi ehlukene.
- Isidingo esiqhubekayo sokuqinisekisa – Abantu abancike ngokomzwelo bahlale befuna ukuvunyelwa abanye. Bangase badinge ukuzizwa bebalulekile futhi beqinisekisiwe ngokuqhubekayo ukuze bazizwe bejabule ebuhlotsheni.
- Ukwesaba ngokweqile ukulahlwa – Enye yezimpawu ezisobala kakhulu ukwesaba ukulahlwa. Ukuncika ngokomzwelo kuvame ukuholela abantu ekusabeni ukulahlekelwa umuntu abathembele kuye, okungababangela ukuba balawule ukuziphatha noma babekezelele izimo ezingajabulisi ukuze bagweme ukuhlukana.
- Ukuzidela – abantu abancikile bangase bazikhohlwe bona ukuze bajabulise omunye, bashaye indiva izidingo zabo, izifiso, kanye nezifiso zabo. Babeka enye enkabeni yendawo yonke, ngisho nangezindleko zokudela izindinganiso zabo noma izintshisekelo zabo.
- Ukukhathazeka nokukhathazeka lapho omunye engekho – Abantu abancike emoyeni baba nokukhathazeka okukhulu lapho omunye umuntu engekho noma engekho. Lokhu kungabonakala njengokuziphatha okuyimpoqo, njengokuthumela imilayezo eminingi noma ukuhlale ubheka ukuthi omunye umuntu ulungile yini naye.
Izibonelo ezingokoqobo zokuncika ngokomzwelo:
-
- Ukuhlale befuna ukuba nabanye, ngisho nokulimaza abangane babo noma imisebenzi yomuntu siqu.
- Zidele ukuze abanye bazizwe bejabule, noma ngabe kudala ukungakhululeki.
- Ukukholelwa ukuthi awuphelele ngaphandle komunye, futhi uzizwa ungenalutho lapho engekho.
Phila Ukuncika Kwemizwelo
Ukuncika Ngokomzwelo Noma Uthando?
Ngakho wazi kanjani ukuthi uthando noma ukuncika ngokomzwelo? Kunemibandela ehlukene ekuvumela ukuthi ubone ukuthi uthando ngempela noma cha.
- Uthando alukho ukugcwalisa ukuntula ngokomzwelo. Asiluncengi uthando uma luyiqiniso ngempela. Isekelwe esisekelweni esilinganayo. Uma uhlala kuphela futhi ngomlingani wakho, futhi ukwesaba ukuhlukana kunamandla kakhulu, lokhu ukuncika ngokomzwelo. Ibhalansi yemizwa ayilingani.
- Ukuncika ngokomzwelo kuzokucindezela ukuthi uhlale ufuna ukuba khona komunye. Othandweni, kuyinto evamile ukuzizwa uphuthelwe uma uzithola usuka kude nesithandwa sakho. Nakuba oncike ngokomzwelo akakwazi ukucabangela amabanga alula.
- Kwenzeka ukuthi ukuhlaselwa okuncane komhawu kubonakala ngisho nangaphakathi kombhangqwana onothando ozinzile, ngokusekelwe ekuthembekeni. Nokho, kunjalo ogulayo esimweni sokuncika ngokomzwelo.
- Uthando olutholwa umuntu oncike emoyeni uthando oluhlangothini olulodwa.. Ukuze uthando phakathi kwabantu ababili lube nempilo futhi luhlale njalo, kufanele luhambe ngazo zombili. Lokhu kusho ukuthi lowo muntu uzoba into a ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo. Uyena ocabanga ukuthi ubudinga ngempela lobu budlelwano.
- Ekugcineni, imizwa inamandla kakhulu futhi ayizinzile ekuluthweni. Uma kuwuthando lwangempela, bobabili abalingani bazovame ukuthola ibhalansi yemvelo yemizwa yabo.
- Uthando olulinganiselayo = Ukuhlonipha wena nabanye, ukuzimela ngokomzwelo, ukusekelwana.
- Ukuncika ngokomzwelo = Kudingeka “ukusindiswa”, ukulahlekelwa ubuwena, ukwesaba njalo ukulahlwa.
Izingozi Zokuncika Ngokomzwelo Lapho Ubhekene Nomphendukezeli We-Narcissistic
Enye yezinkinga ezinkulu ezisiholela ekutheni sithi kufanele sizikhulule ekuncikeni ngokomzwelo ivela kulokhu kwesaba. Umuntu angase azithole ebhekene ne-a i-narcissistic pervert ezosebenzisa ubuthakathaka bakhe. Ngendlela efanayo nomuntu othintekayo i-savior syndrome, umlutha uyisisulu esiyinhloko se-narcissistic pervert. Ungumuntu onobuntu obufiphele kakhulu futhi ocela ukunakwa. Yingakho i-narcissistic pervert ingase inamathele kuyo.
Izimbangela eziyinhloko zokuncika ngokomzwelo
- Amaphethini wobuntwana nomndeni :
- Ukuntula uthando noma ukuqinisekiswa ngesikhathi sobuntwana.
- Abazali abavikela ngokweqile noma abangekho ngokomzwelo, okudala ukuntuleka kokulondeka ngokomzwelo.
- Amaphethini obudlelwano obungasebenzi noma obunobuthi emndenini (isb. umzali oyedwa oncike ngokomzwelo komunye).
- Ukwesaba okungenangqondo :
- ukwesaba ukulahlwa : Izinkolelo ezixhunyaniswe nezinto ezenzeka esikhathini esidlule lapho ukulahlwa kubonakale njengokuhlukumezeka.
- Ukuntula ukuzethemba : Ukuzizwa ungakufanelekeli ukuthandwa noma ukucabangela abanye.
- Ukwesaba ukwaliwa : Ukungabaza njalo ngekhono lomuntu lokuthandwa yena.
- Ithonya lezinkolelo ezikhawulelayo :
- “Angilutho ngaphandle komunye”, “Omunye uwukuphela komthombo wami wenjabulo”, “Kumele ngizinikele ukuze ngithandwe”.
- Amamodeli obudlelwano kwabezindaba nasemphakathini : Umbono wothando oluphelele noluhlanganisayo, oluvame ukuhanjiswa ngamafilimu namasiko adumile.
Imiphumela yokuncika ngokomzwelo
- Imizwa engemihle :
- Ukukhathazeka nokucindezeleka : Impilo engokomzwelo engazinzile, ukwethuka okukhuphukayo ngombono wokulahlekelwa omunye.
- Ukuzihlukanisa emphakathini : Ukulahlekelwa abangani noma ubudlelwano obubalulekile ngenxa yokugxila kokunye.
- Ukukhungatheka nokucasuka : Ukushuba kwesimo ebudlelwaneni, umuzwa wokunganakwa noma ukunganakwa.
- Umthelela ebuhlotsheni :
- Ubudlelwano obungalingani lapho umuntu ehlala enikela kakhulu kunomunye.
- Amandla anobuthi : Uma omunye engancikile kangako, angase azizwe ecindezelekile.
- Izingxabano ezivamile : Ngoba siphoqelela amathemba ethu ngokweqile nezidingo kwabanye.
- Ukukhathala ngokomzwelo : Omunye angase azizwe ekhathele ngokomzwelo ngenxa yokuhlangabezana njalo nokulindelwe ngumuntu othembele kuye.
- Imithelela ekuzethembeni :
- Ukuzizwa ungakufanelanga ukuthandwa ngalokho oyikho.
- Ukulahlekelwa ukuzethemba : Umuzwa wokungakwazi ukujabula uwedwa.
Ungazikhulula kanjani ekuncikeni ngokomzwelo?
Ukuze uzuze ukwelashwa kokuncika ngokomzwelo futhi uphume kuwoukubamba ngokwengqondo, nazi izinto eziyisisekelo eziya ebuhlotsheni obunokulinganisela.
- Bheka izimpande zenkinga. Ngezinye izikhathi lokhu kwesaba ukushiywa kuvela ukuhlukumezeka okwedlule. Ngokuvamile, ukuhlukumezeka okuhlobene nobungane yizo okukhulunywa ngazo kakhulu. Ngakho-ke, thatha isinyathelo emuva empilweni yakho futhi wamukele ukuthi kwenzekile ukuze uqhubekele phambili.
- Kumele yazi ukuthi ukulutheka kuthinta kanjani ubudlelwano bakho. Udinga ukuthatha isikhathi ukuze ubone ukuthi ubudlelwano bakho busebenza kanjani. Zibuze umbuzo olandelayo: kungani iphethini efanayo ilokhu iphindaphinda?
- Udinga beka imingcele ebuhlotsheni bakho. Lokhu kuzokuvumela ukuthi wazi ukuthi ungayinciphisa kanjani imizwa yakho. Setha umkhawulo wokubekezelela futhi uhlale uqinile kuwo. Kubalulekile ukuba nesiyalo ukuze ungathathwa yimizwa yakho.
- Funda ukuthuthukisa ukuzethemba kwakho. Ukuze wenze lokhu, zinike isikhathi sakho futhi wenze imisebenzi ekwenza uzizwe ubalulekile.
- Kubalulekile ukuvuthwa ngokomzwelo. Lesi sinyathelo singadinga usizo; Lokhu kuphazamiseka kungaba nzima ukukuqonda yilabo abaseduze kwakho, yingakho kunconywa ukuya kudokotela wezengqondo.
- Qaphela inkinga :
- Qaphela izimpawu futhi wamukele ukuthi ukuncika ngokomzwelo kuyisithiyo ekuphileni okwanelisayo.
- Qinisa ukuzithanda :
- Funda ukuzithanda, uzihloniphe futhi uzinike ukubaluleka.
- Sebenzela ukuzethemba kwakho: zibone njengokufanele ukuthandwa, ngaphandle kwabanye.
- Yakha ukuzimela kwakho ngokomzwelo :
- Thuthukisa izinkanuko, imisebenzi kanye namaphrojekthi womuntu siqu ngaphandle kobudlelwano.
- Funda ukujabula wedwa, ukuhlakulela inkampani yakho ngaphandle kokuzama ukugcwalisa isikhala nabanye.
- Misa imingcele enempilo :
- Funda ukuthi “cha” ngaphandle kwecala.
- Hlonipha izidingo zakho futhi ungadeli izindinganiso zakho ngenxa yabanye.
- Gwema ukuwohloka ngokomzwelo :
- Londoloza ubuwena, imibono, kanye nemizwa yakho.
- Gwema ukulahlekelwa umbono wezinhloso zakho noma amaphupho ukuze wanelise omunye.
- Zikhulule ekwesabeni ukulahlwa :
- Sebenza ekulawuleni ukukhathazeka : Ukuzindla, ukuphumula, ukubhala, ukwelapha.
- Ukwakha ukuzethemba : Yiba nokholo emandleni omuntu okuthandwa ngaphandle kokuzithoba ekuziphatheni okuncikile.
- Funa ukusekela kwangaphandle :
- Xhumana nomelaphi noma umqeqeshi ukuze usebenze ngezimpande zokuncika ngokomzwelo.
- Bamba iqhaza emaqenjini okusekela noma izinkundla ukuze ukhulume nabanye abantu abahlangabezana nesipiliyoni esifanayo.
Ukuncika ngokomzwelo kanye nobudlelwano obunobuthi
Ukuncika ngokomzwelo kuvame ukuholela ebudlelwaneni obungalingani noma obunobuthi, lapho omunye uzakwethu ethatha isibopho sokugcina ubudlelwano, kuyilapho omunye ethatha isimo esilawulayo noma esilawulayo. Lokhu kuguquguquka kwamandla kwenza ukuhlukana kube nzima kumuntu owumlutha, njengoba evame ukwesaba ukulahlekelwa isici esiyinhloko sokuzinza kwabo ngokomzwelo.
Abantu abancike ngokomzwelo bavame ukukhangwa abantu be-narcissistic, okudala umjikelezo ononya wokukhohlisa nokulawula. Uzakwethu we-narcissistic angase akhuthaze lokhu kuncika ukuze bathole ukubusa kwabo, kuyilapho umuntu oncikile ejabulela indima engaphansi, enamathela kakhulu esenzweni ngasinye sokuqashelwa noma sothando komunye.
Imiphumela yokuncika ngokomzwelo
Ukulutheka ngokomzwelo kunethonya elibalulekile empilweni yengqondo kanye nokuphila kahle ngokomzwelo. Abantu abanomlutha bangabhekana nokungakhululeki okujulile, ukukhathazeka, ngisho nezimpawu zokucindezeleka.
- Ukuwohloka kwempilo yengqondo – Ukuncika ngokomzwelo kuhlotshaniswa namazinga aphezulu okucindezeleka nokukhathazeka. Isidingo esiqhubekayo sokuthandwa nokuqinisekiswa singaholela emicabangweni ecindezelayo kanye nokungakwazi ukuzizwa ukahle ngaphandle komunye umuntu, kudala isimo sokungezwani okuqhubekayo.
- Izinkinga zobudlelwano – Ukungalingani ngokomzwelo kungaholela ezingxabanweni ebudlelwaneni. Umuntu oncikile uvame ukuba nomona, ukungazethembi, nokunganeliseki, okungase konakalise ikhwalithi yobudlelwano ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
- Ukulahlekelwa ukuzazi – Ukuncika ngokomzwelo kuholela abantu ukuthi kancane kancane balahlekelwe ubuyena. Izimpilo zabo zigxila komunye umuntu, kulimaze izinkanuko zabo, ubungane, kanye nezifiso zabo.
Kungani kunzima kangaka ukunqoba ukuncika ngokomzwelo?
Ukuncika ngokomzwelo kunzima ukukunqoba ngenxa yokusondelana okujulile abantu abakuzwayo ngomlingani wabo noma umuntu okukhulunywa ngaye. Inhlalakahle yabo nenjabulo yabo ihambisana nalobu budlelwano, noma yimuphi umqondo wokuhlukana udala a ukukhathazeka kakhulu. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukuncika ngokomzwelo ngokuvamile kuhilela izinga elithile lokuphika, lapho umuntu owumlutha engaqapheli ngokugcwele izinga lokuncika kwakhe noma enqaba ukuvuma ukuthi ubudlelwano sebunobuthi.
Indima yokuhlukumezeka nokunamathela
Ukuhlukumezeka ngokomzwelo noma ukuntuleka kokunamathela okuphephile ebuntwaneni kudlala indima ebalulekile ekwakhekeni kokuncika ngokomzwelo. Amaphethini obudlelwane asekelwe ekulahlweni noma ekuncishweni ngokomzwelo angaphindaphindwa lapho esekhulile, okwenza kube nzima ukubalekela lo mjikelezo wokuncika.
Izihluthulelo zobudlelwano obunokulinganisela
Ebudlelwaneni obulinganiselayo, umuntu ngamunye uyachuma eyedwa ngenkathi ehlanganyela ukuxhumana okungokomzwelo nomunye. Uthando luhumusha ekusekelaneni, lapho umuntu ngamunye ehlonipha indawo nezidingo zomunye ngaphandle kokunamathela kuye ngokweqile.
Ubani ongaphendukela kuye ukuze akusize uphume Ekuncikeni Kwemizwa
Isixazululo sokuthembela othandweni okwamanje ukwelashwa nge-psychologist noma i-psychotherapist. Akukho ukwelashwa kwezidakamizwa okwamanje. Ngakho-ke ukungenelela kochwepheshe kuyindlela engcono kakhulu enikezwa ukuthi lokhu kuphazamiseka kokuziphatha ngaphezu kwakho konke kuxhumene nobuntu bomuntu. Ngaphezu kwalokhu, kuhle ukuphendukela kubathandekayo bakho futhi ikakhulukazi umbuthano wakho wabangane ngokwesibonelo. Ungagxili kumuntu oyedwa, ukulungisa kuwumkhuba okumele uqedwe ukuze uqhelelane nokulutheka.
Udinga usizo lokuphuma kulesi simo?
Akudingeki ubhekane nale nselele wedwa. UCristina uzokuqondisa ngezinyathelo eziqondile kanye nohlelo lokusebenza oluqondene nawe. Izikhathi zokuqeqesha zomuntu ngamunye ngevidiyo (Skype noma WhatsApp) — €100 ngeseshini.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.