I-Narcissistic Manipulator kunye nokutya-Uya Kutya le nto ndikuxelela yona

Ingxaki enjalo kubantu be-narcissistic ayibonakali ekuqaleni. Okukhona udibana naye, kokukhona uya kwazi ukuba yi-pathology ngaphezu kokukhohlisa. Isayensi iye yaqaphela ukuziphatha okugqithisileyo kokutya kwii-manipulators ze-narcissistic, ezifana ne-anorexia okanye i-bulimia. Ibonakala njani ke ngoko?

I-manipulator ye-narcissistic kunye nokutya-Yintoni ekufuneka uyazi?

Into ekufuneka uyazi malunga nobudlelwane phakathi kwe-narcissistic manipulator kunye nokutya kwakhe kukuba:

• Ukhathazwa yi-ukuzithemba , njengexhoba lakhe le-narcissistic ngokwakhe. I-narcissistic manipulator iphila ngoxinzelelo oluqhubekayo kwaye ngenxa yoko inikezela kukutya okugqithisileyo, okuhlala kubizwa ngokuba yi-bulimia. Udla, kungekhona xa elambile kodwa ukuba avale indawo evulekileyo, ukucima umlilo ovuthayo ngaphakathi kwakhe.
• Ukutya okudliwe ngokugqithisileyo okanye okuthintelweyo kukuvumela ukuba kuqhubeke ukubonakala kuqhelekileyo ngaphandle kokuba kube njalo. Ekucingeni ukuba i-manipulator ye-narcissistic yinto engabonakaliyo, siyaphazama kakhulu. Uzohlwaya ngokuphazamisa impilo-ntle yakhe ngokwenjenjalo.

Ubudlelwane bePn kunye nokutya

Ukucinga ngokugcina isantya sobomi, umntu uya kugxininisa ubukhulu becala kubunzima bakhe kunye nokutya akutyayo. Ukutya kuya kuba liqabane lakhe eliphambili ekulweni noxinzelelo lweemvakalelo kunye noxinzelelo oluveliswa ngukuziphatha kwakhe.

• Ubukho bokungalingani kwimikhwa yomntu  
• I-manipulator ye-narcissistic ke ngoko iya kuba ne-an engenakuthintelwa ukutya yonke into ngaphandle kokwahlula, okanye ayifuni kutya nantoni na. Oku kuthetha ukuzohlwaya, oko kukuthi, uya kuwenza iintlungu emzimbeni, ngethemba lokuwulawula.
• Overukusetyenziswa kokutya okanye ukwalelwa kokukutya kuvumela umntu ukuba alawule umzimba wakhe kunye neengcinga zakhe. Ngokomzekelo, ukuzila ukutya okanye ukwamkela ukutya okunekhalori ephantsi kumvumela ukuba athathe umzimba wakhe. Umsebenzi wakhe modus iyafana nale ayenzayo ngexhoba lakhe le-narcissistic: ukukhohlisa, ukulawula kunye nokunyanzeliswa kwe-diktat engqongqo ukwenza ubudlelwane buhlale.  

Izizathu zokutya kakhulu kwi-manipulator ye-narcissistic

Iingcali ziye zaqaphela ukufana okuthile kwizigulana zakudala, ngakumbi ezincinci nezingeyotyhefu. Nazi izizathu zolu kuphazamiseka kokutya okubonwa kwi-narcissistic manipulator:

1. Ukunqongophala kokuzithemba okanye ukuzithemba:

Kwaye ewe, abaqhubi be-narcissistic ebesicinga ukuba abanakoyiswa ngokwenene ngabantu ababandezelekileyo. Kuvele kube yinto engaqhelekanga ukuba ixhoba le-narcissistic likholelwe ukuba umthuthumbisi wakhe unesifo esifanayo nesakhe. Oku kungazithembi kumbangela ukuba abe nebulimia okanye ukuhlanjululwa ngokuphindaphindiweyo (isenzo sokuginya yonke into aze ayiphose phezulu.)

2. Ukuphazamiseka okunyanzelekileyo okanye i-OCD:

A ixhala ivela emntwini kwaye imthintele ukuba aphile ngokuqhelekileyo njengabanye. Ukuphazamiseka kokutya (EDBs) luluhlu lweziphazamiso ozibeke ngokwakho kwindlela yokutya. Ezi ngxaki zibonwa ngokulula kubantu abanengxaki yokugqwetheka kwe-narcissistic kuba abayi kuba nakho ukutya ukutya kwabo ngendlela enengqondo.

Olu hlobo lwe-obsessive compulsive disorder lubangela ukuguquka kwemizwelo rhoqo kunye nokungalawulekiyo kwisigulana. Oku kubangelwa ikakhulu kwi ukudandatheka okungapheliyo esele igquba ngaphakathi kuye.

Zeziphi iingxaki zokutya ezinokuvela kwi-manipulator ye-narcissistic?

Into ekufuneka uyazi malunga nokuziphatha okugqithisileyo kwe-narcissistic manipulator kukuba uzenza isohlwayo kuye. Ezi ngxaki zezi:

1. Bulimia kunye nokuhlanjululwa:

Ezi ziindlela zokuziphatha ezichongiweyo ngokukodwa phakathi kwamantombazana amancinci anengxaki yobunzima bomzimba, ukuzithemba kunye noxinzelelo olugqithisileyo. Umntu onama-narcissistic uya kudla ngokugqithisileyo, ngamanye amaxesha ngokhetho oluthile olufana neelekese kwaye ngamanye amaxesha alukho. Emva koko, ukuhlanjululwa kuya kwenziwa ngokugabha yonke into esetyenzisiweyo, okanye ngokuthatha i-laxatives ukukhawulezisa ukuhamba. Ukulinganisela phakathi kwe-bulimia kunye nokuhlanjululwa kukuvumela ukuba ungafumani ubunzima obuninzi kwaye ulawule ngokungathandekiyo izibongozo zakho.

Oku kuziphatha ngoku kuphawulwe kwi-manipulator ye-narcissistic njengoko enengxaki yengqondo efanayo nalolu hlobo lwabantu.

2. Anorexia:

Izibonakalisa ubukhulu becala ngokungabikho komdla wokutya. Inyani yokungatyi nantoni na okanye ukunciphisa ubungakanani bakho bemihla ngemihla ubuncinci ngokwengqiqo yenza ukuba ulahlekelwe isisindo.

Nangona kunjalo, i i-narcissistic manipulator iyakuthathela ingqalelo oku kwehla kobunzima bubonakalayo njengendebe. Uya kucinga ukuba le lahleko imenza akwazi ukulawula iimvakalelo neemvakalelo zakhe, umthombo wokungonwabi kwakhe. Ngokuchasene noko, ukufumana ubunzima obubangelwa yi-bulimia okanye ukutya ngokugqithiseleyo kuya kuthathwa njengokungaphumeleli okukrakra.

3. Qiniso lokutya ukutya

 Le ngxaki yokutya kakhulu iyahluka kwi-bulimia kuba umntu ogulayo we-narcissistic manipulator akayi kunciphisa ukutya kwakhe. Uya kudla ngokungalawulekiyo yaye akayi kwanela. Ukuhlanza kunye ne-laxatives akuyi kusetyenziswa, kwaye ukuzuza ubunzima kuya kwenzeka ngokukhawuleza.  

Isigulana asizukwenza umthambo okanye ukuzila ukutya ukuze sikhanyise umzimba wakhe, kuba i-pathology ihlala isengqondweni.

Ungamnceda njani umntu osebenzisa i-narcissistic onengxaki yokutya?

Okokuqala, kuyafuneka ukuba uqonde ukuba umntu we-narcissistic onengxaki yokutya ngokweemvakalelo lixhoba le-narcissism yakhe.

• Ukuba umntu ekuthethwa ngaye ubonisa zonke iimpawu ze-obsessive-compulsive disorder, kungenxa yokuba sele ethumela iimpawu zokubandezeleka. Ingqondo yakhe ibonisa iimpawu zokudandatheka.
• Ukuba abantu esibathandayo bafuna ukunceda, ukunyamezela kunye nomonde kuyafuneka ngokwenene. Emva kweminyaka emibini, iziphumo ziya kubonakala. I-narcissistic manipulator enengxaki yokutya kakhulu iya kufuna kakhulu abo bamngqongileyo ukuba baphilise.
• Uzakufuna nomzuzu we-solitude kunye nokuzola ukuze aziphilise. Ukongeza koku kukho amayeza kunye nonyango olucetyiswa yingcali.

Ngoko ke kuyimfuneko ukuchonga izizathu zokuphazamiseka kokutya kwi-manipulator ye-narcissistic, njengokuxhalaba, ukudandatheka kunye noxinzelelo olugqithisileyo ukumnceda.

Ukulawula ngokutya luhlobo olufihlakeleyo lolawulo abathi ngamanye amaxesha abenzi be-narcissistic basebenzise phezu kwamaxhoba abo. Eli nqaku liphonononga le nto kwaye licebisa iindlela zokuzikhulula kuyo.

Ukuqonda Ukulawulwa kokutya kubudlelwane obunobuthi

Kubudlelwane kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator, itafile inokuba yindawo yedabi. I-narcissist isebenzisa ukutya njengesixhobo sokulawula, ukugxeka ukhetho lwakho lokutya, ukubeka imithetho engqongqo, okanye ukukhawulela ukufikelela kwakho ekutyeni okuthile. Olu lawulo lujolise ekukwenzeni uzinzise kwaye lubonise amandla alo phezu kwakho.

I-narcissistic manipulator ehlala phantsi kophahla olufanayo nexhoba layo inokuthintela ukufikelela ekutyeni ngeendlela ezininzi:

• Tshixa ifriji okanye iikhabhathi
• Iinxalenye zomrhumo ongqongqo
• Kwala ukuthenga ukutya okuthile
• Ukulawula ngokupheleleyo ukuthenga kunye nohlahlo lwabiwo-mali lokutya

Oku kuhluthwa kujolise ekunciphiseni ngokomzimba nangokwengqondo ixhoba, libenze baxhomekeke ngakumbi. Ukunqongophala kokutya kunokukhokelela ekudinweni, ukucaphuka kunye nobunzima bokugxila, okuqinisa ukubamba komphathi.

Ukunyanzeliswa kokutya kwe-draconian yi-narcissistic manipulator

Ujongwe ngumfanekiso, i-narcissistic manipulator inokunyanzelisa ukutya okugqithisileyo kusapho lonke:

• Izidlo zefashoni ezingqongqo kakhulu
• Ukukhutshwa ngokupheleleyo kokutya okuthile
• Ukubala kweekhalori ezibukhali

Injongo kukugcina ulawulo kwinkangeleko yomzimba yeqabane. Ezi zidlo zidla ngokunikezelwa “njengenzuzo yakho”, kodwa eneneni zisebenza ukugcina ulawulo lwengqondo.

I-narcissistic manipulator isenokungayilandeli le mithetho ingqongqo, idala imigangatho ephindwe kabini ephoxayo nengalunganga.

Ukugxekwa ngokusisigxina kokutya

Nangaphandle kwezithintelo zomzimba, i-narcissistic manipulator isebenzisa amazwi athobayo:

• Izimvo ezingapheliyo malunga nobunzima
• Ubutyala kwisidlo ngasinye
• Ukugculelwa malunga nokukhetha ukutya

Olu hlaselo lujolise ekudaleni ukungakhuseleki kunye nomzimba ombi. Ngokuphinda-phinda, ixhoba linokuphelisa ngaphakathi kwezi zigxeko kunye nokuphuhlisa ukuphazamiseka kokutya.

Ukusebenzisa ukutya njengomvuzo okanye isohlwayo

Ukutya kuba yimali yeemvakalelo:

• Ukuvinjwa ukutya kwimeko “yokuziphatha kakubi”
• Uvunyelwe ukutya ukutya okuthile “njengomvuzo”
• Ukusebenzisa iilekese ukukhohlisa

Le meko yomelezaimpembelelo yengqondoye-narcissistic manipulator.

Iimpawu zeTelltale zoLawulo lokuTyelwa kweNarcissistic

Nazi ezinye iindlela zokuziphatha ezinokubonisa ulawulo lokuxhaphaza olunxulumene nokutya:

• Uhlala ugxeka indlela otya ngayo
• Ukunyanzela ukuba utye okanye uzile ukutya ngokuchasene nentando yakho
• Jonga ngokusondeleyo into oyityayo
• Ukusebenzisa ukutya njengesohlwayo okanye umvuzo
• Ukukuthintela ekuphekeni okanye ekukhetheni ukutya kwakho.

Ukunyanzeliswa kokutya ngokugqithisileyo yi-narcissist: elinye icala lokuxhatshazwa

Ngokuchasene nezithintelo, abanye abakhohlisayo be-narcissistic banokufuna ukwenza iqabane labo lityebe:

• Ukuthengwa ngokukhethekileyo kokutya okuphezulu kweekhalori
• Ukunyanzelisa ukugqiba isitya sakho
• Ukugculela ukuba uyala ukutya
• Ukonakaliswa kwemigudu yokutya okunempilo

Injongo kukunciphisa ukuzithemba kwexhoba kunye nokubenza bangabi nomtsalane kwabanye, ngaloo ndlela kuncitshiswe ithuba lokuba baya kushiya ubudlelwane obuyityhefu.

Iziphumo zempilo yexesha elide

Ezi ziphatha zixhaphazayo malunga nokutya zinokuba neziphumo ezibi:

• Ukuphazamiseka kokutya (i-anorexia, i-bulimia, i-orthorexia)
• Ukunqongophala kwezondlo
• Iingxaki zempilo ezinxulumene nokutyeba kakhulu okanye ukungondleki
• Ixhala kunye nokudakumba
• Ilahleko epheleleyo yengcamango yokutya okunokulinganisela

Ukuphiliswa kwezi ziphumo zamva kunokuthatha iminyaka, nasemva kokuba ubudlelwane obuyityhefu buphelile.

Impembelelo yengqondo yokulawula ukutya

Olu hlobo loxhatshazo lunokuba neziphumo ezibi kwimpilo yakho yengqondo kunye nomzimba:

• Uphuhliso lweengxaki zokutya: Uxinzelelo lokulawula into oyityayo, nokuba ivela kumntu omthandayo, kuluntu okanye ngokwakho, kunokukhokelela kwiziphazamiso ezifana ne-anorexia, i-bulimia okanye ukutya kakhulu. Ezi ziphatho zingasebenziyo ezinxulumene nokutya zinokukhokelela kwiingxaki ezinzulu zomzimba, ukusuka ekunqongophelweni kwesondlo ukuya kumonakalo ongapheliyo womzimba.
• Ukuphelelwa ukuzithemba nokuzithemba kwizinto ozikhethayo: Ukuziva ubekwe iliso rhoqo okanye ugwetywe xa ukhetha ukutya kunokukhokelela ekulahlekelweni kokuzithemba. Olu hlobo lolawulo lutshisa ukuxhomekeka ekuqinisekiseni kwangaphandle kwaye lwenza kube nzima ukuziva ufezekiso lomntu.
• Uxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo olunxulumene nokutya: Xa isidlo ngasinye siba yindawo yokugweba okanye yoxinzelelo, ubumnandi bokutya buphela ukunika indawo kumthombo wokuxinana rhoqo. Olu nxunguphalo lunokwandisa nakwamanye amaxesha obomi bemihla ngemihla, luchaphazela umgangatho wobomi ngokubanzi.
• Ityala kunye neentloni malunga nokutya: Ulawulo lokutya lubeka umbono wesibini “olungileyo” kunye “ombi” xa kuziwa kukhetho lwezondlo, ezinokukhokelela ekubeni uzive unetyala ngokutenxa ngakunye okanye ukutenxa okubonwayo. Eli hlazo ngamanye amaxesha liba ngumthwalo, libambe umntu kwisangqa seengcinga ezimbi kunye nokuzigxeka.

Iimbekiselo zeBibliographic kwi-narcissistic manipulator kunye nokutya

Nalu uluhlu lweereferensi ezisi-7 zebhayografi:

1. Paul-Claude Racamier (1992). Le génie des origines. Paris : Payot.
2. Alberto Eiguer (1989). Les structures narcissiques. Paris : Dunod.
3. Marie-France Hirigoyen (1998). Le harcèlement moral : la violence perverse au quotidien. Paris : Syros.
4. Anne Legraverand (2012). “Perversions narcissiques”. Le Journal des psychologues, n° 302, pages 68 à 72.
5. Sébastien Villalba (2024). “Le “pervers narcissique” et l’appropriation d’un concept scientifique”. Contrepoints.
6. Antoine Masingue et Luce Janin Devillars (2020). “Les pervers narcissiques : une réalité organisationnelle ? Exploration sémantique et théorique”. HAL Archives Ouvertes.
7. Géraldine Wagner (2012). “Relation d’objet dans la perversion narcissique. Se soutenir : déconstruire l’autre”. L’Information Psychiatrique, vol. 88, n° 1, pages 21 à 28.
8. Tinat, Karine. “Le contrôle extrême de la nourriture : un regard sur l’anorexie mentale à Mexico.” Journal des anthropologues, 2006, n° 106-107, pp. 105-122.
9. Janin, Pierre. “Les défis de l’approvisionnement alimentaire : acteurs, lieux et liens.” Revue internationale des études du développement, 2019, n° 237, pp. 7-34.
10. Ukutya kunye noMbutho wezoLimo weZizwe eziManyeneyo (FAO). “Iinkqubo zokulawula ukutya.”
11. World Health Organization (WHO) . “Isixhobo sokuHlola iiNkqubo zoLawulo lokuTya: Intshayelelo.”
12. UMphathiswa wezoLimo kunye noKutya (eFransi) . “Imimiselo malunga nococeko lokutya.”
13. Oulé, uJean-Claude. “Ukutya kunye nokulawula isiselo.
14. Stengel, Kilien. “I-Gastronomy, ifilosofi encinci yokuzonwabisa kunye nokunambitha.” Bréal, ngo-2010.

Ezi mbekiselo ziya kukunika ukuqonda okunzulu kokugqwetheka kwe-narcissistic, enokukunceda uphonononge indlela olu hlobo lobuntu olunokuthi lunxibelelane ngayo nokuziphatha okunxulumene nokutya.

Ukuqukumbela

Ukuqukumbela, ikhonkco phakathi kokugqwetheka kwe-narcissistic kunye nokuphazamiseka kokutya kubonisa ukubandezeleka okunzulu okuhlala kugqunywa kukuziphatha okugqithisileyo. Nokuba i-bulimia, i-anorexia okanye i-hyperphagia, ezi ziphazamiso zibonisa umzamo onzima wokulawula umzimba ukuzalisa isithuba seemvakalelo. Emva komfanekiso wolawulo, umgibi we-narcissistic uhlala ebanjwa ziidemon zakhe, efuna ukhathalelo olunenkathalo ukuze athembe ukuphiliswa.