I-Alexithymia kwii-manipulators ze-narcissistic: ukuqonda

I-Alexithymia, uphawu oluqhelekileyo phakathi kwabaqhubi be-narcissistic, ingaba nemiphumo emibi kumaxhoba abo. Eli nqaku lijolise ekuncedeni abafazi abachatshazelwa yile nto ukuba bayiqonde ngcono kwaye bazikhusele kuyo.

Yintoni i-alexithymia?

I-Alexithymia, igama elaziswa nguPeter Sifneos ngo-psychoanalyst ngo-1973, libonisa ubunzima bokuchonga, ukuvakalisa nokuchaza iimvakalelo zomntu. Abantu be-Alexithymic baneempawu ezininzi ezahlukileyo:

• Ukungakwazi ukuqaphela kunye nokubiza iimvakalelo zabo
• Ubunzima bokutolika iimvakalelo zabanye
• Utyekelo lokubhidanisa iimvakalelo zomzimba kunye neemvakalelo
• Indlela ebambekayo, ejonge ngaphandle
• Ubomi bentelekelelo obuhlwempuzekileyo kunye nefantasy
• Ubunzima bokuvakalisa iimvakalelo zabo

Olu phawu lobuntu luchaphazela malunga ne-5 ukuya kwi-10% yabemi ngokubanzi, kodwa ukuxhaphaka kwayo kuphezulu kakhulu phakathi kwabantu abaneziphazamiso zobuntu, ngakumbi abo bane-narcissistic.

Imvelaphi ye-alexithymia

Nangona izizathu ezichanekileyo ze-alexithymia zingaqondwa ngokupheleleyo, izinto ezininzi zibonakala zinegalelo ekuphuhlisweni kwayo:

1. Imizila yemfuza: Olunye uhlolisiso lubonisa utyekelo lwemfuza.
2. Imiba yemithambo-luvo: Izinto ezingaqhelekanga ekusebenzeni kwemimandla ethile yobuchopho zinokudlala indima.
3. Imiba yophuhliso: Ukungaphumeleli kweemvakalelo kwangoko okanye ukwenzakala kwasebuntwaneni kunokuthintela ukukhula kwezakhono zeemvakalelo.
4. Imiba yeNkcubeko: Iinkcubeko ezithile ezibeka ixabiso elincinane kwintetho yeemvakalelo zinokukhuthaza i-alexithymia.
5. Iindlela zokuzikhusela ngokwasengqondweni: I-Alexithymia inokuba sisicwangciso sokumelana xa ijongene namava abuhlungu ngokweemvakalelo.

Kwimeko ye-manipulative narcissists, i-alexithymia ibonakala ivela kwindibaniselwano yale miba, igxininise ngakumbi kumava okwenzakala kwangaphambili kunye neendlela zokuzikhusela ngokwasengqondweni.

Amakhonkco phakathi kwe-alexithymia kunye ne-narcissistic perversion

I-Alexithymia idlala indima ephambili kwisakhiwo se ubuntu ye-narcissistic manipulator. Ivumela ukuba:

• Ukwala iimvakalelo ezintle, ezibonwa njengobuthathaka okanye ubuthathaka
• Gcina umfanekiso wemfezeko kunye nolawulo olupheleleyo
• Kuphephe ukujongana neziphene zakho ze-narcissistic kunye namanxeba
• Zikhusele kwintlungu yeemvakalelo, ihlazo kunye nokuxhalaba kokulahlwa
• Lungiselela indlela oziphatha kakubi ngayo ngengqiqo ephezulu

Oku kungakwazi ukuziva kunye nokuvakalisa iimvakalelo eziphilileyo kuthintela uphuhliso lokwenyani, ubudlelwane obusondeleyo. I-alexithymic narcissistic manipulator ke ngoko ayikwazi ukuba novelwano lokwenyani kunye nokuphindaphinda ngokweemvakalelo, nto leyo eyenza indlela yakhe enetyhefu yokusebenza kubudlelwane.

Iimpembelelo ze-alexithymia kwixhoba

Kwiqabane le-alexithymic narcissistic manipulator, iziphumo zininzi kwaye zinzulu:

1. Ukungakwazi ukudala ubuhlobo obusondeleyo ngokweemvakalelo: Ixhoba liza kudonga lweemvakalelo, alikwazi ukwabelana ngeemvakalelo zabo kunye neqabane labo.
2. Ukuziva unganeliseki rhoqo kunye nokunqongophala ngokweemvakalelo: Iimfuno zeemvakalelo zexhoba azifikelelwa, nto leyo edala udano olusisigxina.
3. Ukwenziwa ngokuphindaphindiweyo ukwenziwa kweemvakalelo kunye neemfuno zikabani: Umbhexeshi we-narcissistic, ongakwaziyo ukuqonda iimvakalelo, uyazijongela phantsi okanye uyazikhanyela.
4. Ukudideka kunye nokuzithandabuza: Ejongene neempendulo ezingafanelekanga zeqabane, ixhoba liphetha lithandabuza ukufaneleka kweemvakalelo zalo.
5. Ukudinwa ngokweemvakalelo: Iinzame eziqhubekayo zokufumana unxibelelwano lweemvakalelo kunye neqabane le-alexithymic lidla amandla kwaye alilize.
6. Ukulahleka kwesazisi: Ngokuziqhelanisa neemfuno zomxhaphazi we-narcissistic, ixhoba liphulukana nokunxibelelana neemvakalelo kunye neminqweno yalo.
7. Ukuxhalaba kunye nokudakumba: Ukungakwazi ukwabelana ngeemvakalelo kunye nokungabikho kwenkxaso yeemvakalelo kunokukhokelela ekuphazamisekeni kwengqondo.

Ngaloo ndlela ixhoba lizifumana liphulukene nenkxaso yeemvakalelo eyimfuneko kulwalamano oluphilileyo nolulungeleleneyo, olunokuba nemiphumo ehlala luhleli kwimpilo-ntle yakhe yengqondo.

Iimpawu ezilumkisayo zokubona

Ukuchonga iqabane alexithymic kunye narcissistic akusoloko kulula, ingakumbi ekuqaleni kobudlelwane. Nazi ezinye iimpawu ezilumkisayo ekufuneka uziqwalasele:

• Ubunzima bokuvakalisa iimvakalelo ngaphandle kwesiqhelo
• Utyekelo lokuqonda iimeko zeemvakalelo
• Iimpendulo ezingafanelekanga kwiimvakalelo zabanye (ukungakhathali, ukucaphuka)
• Ugxininiso olugqithisileyo kwiinkcukacha ezisebenzayo ngokuchitha imiba yeemvakalelo
• Ukungabi naluvelwano nokungakwazi ukunika inkxaso ngokweemvakalelo
• Utyekelo lokugxeka abanye ngobunzima bomntu ngokweemvakalelo
• Intetho enengqondo kakhulu kwaye ikhutshwe kwiimvakalelo
• Ukungakwazi ukulawula impixano ngendlela eyakhayo
• Isidingo esiqhubekayo solawulo kunye nokugqibelela

Kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuba ubukho bale miqondiso akuthethi ukuba umntu yi-alexithymic narcissistic manipulator, kodwa kufuneka ikwazise ngobunzima bobudlelwane obunokwenzeka.

Indlela yokuzikhusela kwaye uzakhe kwakhona?

Ukujongana neqabane le-alexithymic kunye ne-narcissistic, kubalulekile ukwamkela iindlela zokukhusela kunye nokwakha kwakhona:

1. Qaphela ingxaki: Ukuchonga iimpawu ze-alexithymia kunye ne-narcissism linyathelo lokuqala lokuzikhusela.
2. Qinisekisa iimvakalelo zakho: Musa ukuvumela iqabane lakho ukuba lingasebenzi iimvakalelo zakho. Iimvakalelo zakho zisemthethweni kwaye zibalulekile.
3. Misela imida ecacileyo: Ukumisela nokugcina imida esempilweni ngokweemvakalelo kubalulekile ekuzikhuseleni.
4. Funa inkxaso yangaphandle: Abahlobo, usapho, amaqela enkxaso okanye ugqirha unokukunika ukumamela kunye nokuqinisekiswa okudingayo.
5. Sebenza ngokuzithemba: Ukuphinda uzenzele umfanekiso oqinisekileyo wesiqu sakho kubalulekile ukuze uzikhulule kwiimpembelelo ze-narcissistic manipulator.
6. Ziqhelanise ne-self-mfesane: Yiba nobubele kuwe kwaye uvumele ilungelo lokuziva kunye nokuvakalisa iimvakalelo zakho.
7. Cinga ngokushiya ubudlelwane: Ukuba akukho tshintsho lunokwenzeka kwaye ubudlelwane buhlala bunetyhefu, kunokuba yimfuneko ukuqhawula.
8. Jonga ingcali: Unyango lunokukunceda uphilise amanxeba asemphefumlweni kwaye uphuhlise ubudlelwane obunempilo.

Iimbekiselo zeBibliographic nge-alexithymia

Nazi iimbekiselo ezisixhenxe zebhayibhili kumxholo we-alexithymia:

1. Luminet, O., & Vermeulen, N. (2013). L’alexithymie. Bruxelles : De Boeck Supérieur.
2. Corcos, M., Pirlot, G., & Loas, G. (2011). Qu’est-ce que l’alexithymie ?. Paris : Dunod.
3. Pedinielli, J.-L. (2019). “L’alexithymie : psychologie clinique et neurosciences”. Les Psychologues et Psychologies, 2019/1 (N° 260), 10-17.
4. Maillard, B., & Frick, E. (2019). “L’alexithymie : historique, recherches et perspectives psychopathologiques”. Psychologie Clinique, 2019/2 (N° 48), 16-28.
5. Langevin, R., Laurent, A., & Lavoie, É. (2019). “L’alexithymie, une dimension de la personnalité à prendre en compte dans l’acquisition des compétences socio-émotionnelles chez des finissants stagiaires en éducation”. Revue de psychoéducation, 48(2), 333-346.
6. Beresnevaité, M. (2000). “Exploring the benefits of group psychotherapy in reducing alexithymia in coronary heart disease patients: A preliminary study”. Psychotherapy and Psychosomatics, 69, 117-122.
7. Bausseron, E., Luminet, O., & de Groote, J. (2012). “Alexithymie et régulation des émotions”. Dans M. Mikolajczak & M. Desseilles (Éds.), Traité de régulation des émotions (pp. 301-314). Bruxelles : De Boeck.

Ezi zikhombisi zibonelela ngembono enzulu malunga ne-alexithymia, equka imiba yethiyori, yeklinikhi kunye neyonyango.

Ukuqukumbela

Ukuphilisa kubandakanya ukuphinda uqhagamshelane neemvakalelo zomntu, ukuphuhlisa ubukrelekrele beemvakalelo kunye nokwakha ubudlelwane bokwenyani nobondlayo.

Ngokuyiqonda ngcono i-alexithymia kunye nendima yayo kwi-narcissistic perversion, amaxhoba amabhinqa angakwazi ukubuyisela amandla kubomi bawo beemvakalelo. Le nkqubo idinga ixesha, umonde kunye nesibindi, kodwa kubalulekile ukubuyisela ukulingana komntu kunye nobudlelwane. Khumbula ukuba ufanelwe kubudlelwane apho iimvakalelo zakho zibonwa, zihlonitshwa kwaye kwabelwana ngazo.