Ubukrelekrele beemvakalelo, umncedisi obalulekileyo

Kumxholo wobudlelwane obuyityhefu, ngakumbi abo babandakanya umgibi we-narcissistic, ubukrelekrele beemvakalelo budlala indima ebalulekileyo. Kumaxhoba obu budlelwane butshabalalisayo, ukuqonda kunye nokuphuhlisa ingqondo yabo yeemvakalelo kunokuba sisixhobo esinamandla sokuphilisa. Eli nqaku liphonononga nzulu ingqikelelo yobukrelekrele beemvakalelo, ukubaluleka kwayo kumxholo wobudlelwane obuyityhefu.

Yintoni ubukrelekrele beemvakalelo?

Ubukrelekrele beemvakalelo, ingqikelelo eyathandwa nguDaniel Goleman ngeminyaka yoo-1990, ichazwa njengokukwazi ukuqaphela, ukuqonda nokulawula iimvakalelo zomntu, kunye nokuqonda, ukuqonda kunye nokuphembelela iimvakalelo zabanye. Ibandakanya izakhono ezininzi eziphambili:

1. Ukuzazi: ukukwazi ukuchonga nokuqonda iimvakalelo zomntu
2. Ukuzilawula: ukukwazi ukulawula kunye ukulawula iimvakalelo ngokufanelekileyo
3. Ukhuthazo: ukukwazi ukusebenzisa iimvakalelo ukufezekisa iinjongo
4. Uvelwano: ukukwazi ukuqaphela nokuqonda iimvakalelo zabanye
5. Izakhono zentlalo: ukukwazi ukusebenzisana ngokufanelekileyo nabanye ngelixa uthathela ingqalelo iimvakalelo

Kumxholo wobudlelwane kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator, ezi zakhono ziba zizixhobo eziyimfuneko zokuhamba emanzini amdaka wokukhohlisa ngokweemvakalelo nangokwengqondo.

Ukupheliswa ngokweemvakalelo kwi-narcissistic manipulator

Ukuqonda ukubaluleka kobukrelekrele beemvakalelo kobu budlelwane buyityhefu, kubalulekile ukuba uqale uhlalutye ukusebenza ngokweemvakalelo kwe-narcissistic manipulator. Aba bantu babonisa ukungakwazi okusisiseko ukulawula iimvakalelo zabo ngendlela ephilileyo. Oku kupheliswa kommiselo kuzibonakalisa ngeendlela ezininzi:

• I-oscillations egqithisileyo phakathi kokugqabhuka komsindo okungalawulekiyo kunye namaxesha okuthula okunomkhenkce
• Ukungakwazi ukujongana nokudandatheka, okukhokelela ekuqhumeni okanye ekuziphatheni okukhohlisayo
• Ukungabi naluvelwano, okwenza kube nzima ukuqonda impembelelo yezenzo zabo kwabanye
• Ukusebenzisa iimvakalelo njengesixhobo sokulawula kunye nokukhohlisa

Oku kungazinzi kwe-emotional kudala indawo enetyhefu kwaye engalindelekanga, apho ixhoba lizifumana lihlala lilindile, lisoyika ukusabela okulandelayo kweqabane. Ukunqongophala kwe-narcissistic manipulator kunye novelwano kumthintela ekuphuhliseni izicwangciso eziyimfuneko zokulawula iimvakalelo zakhe ngendlela ephilileyo, ngaloo ndlela eqhubekisela phambili umjikelo wetyhefu yobudlelwane.

Ukubaluleka kobukrelekrele beemvakalelo kumaxhoba

Ukujongana nolu tshintsho lungalungelelananga, uphuhliso lwengqondo yeemvakalelo iba sisixhobo sokusinda kunye nenkululeko yamaxhoba. Nasi isizathu:

1. Ukukhuselwa ngokweemvakalelo: Ubukrelekrele beemvakalelo obuphuhliswayo bukwenza kube lula ukwenza umqobo okhuselayo ngokuchasene nokunyanzeliswa kwe-manipulator ye-narcissistic.
2. UUkuqonda amandla anetyhefu: Inceda ukuchonga iipatheni zokuziphatha ezingafanelekanga kwaye zahlule kunxibelelwano olunempilo.
3. Ukubuyisela ulawulo : Ngokuqonda ngcono kunye nokulawula iimvakalelo zabo, ixhoba liyakwazi ukulawula ubomi balo beemvakalelo.
4. Uphuculo lwe- ukuzixabisa : Ukuzazi kunye nokungaziphathi kakuhle, oku kuhlala kukungaziphathi kakuhle.
5. Ukwenza izigqibo ezisekelwe kulwazi : Ukuqonda ngcono iimvakalelo zakho kukuvumela ukuba wenze izigqibo ezicingisisiweyo ngakumbi, kunokuba uphendule ngokungxama.

Ukuphuhlisa ubukrelekrele bakho beemvakalelo: amacebo aphambili

Kumaxhoba e-narcissistic manipulators, ukuphuhlisa ubukrelekrele beemvakalelo yinkqubo ethatha ixesha kunye nokuziqhelanisa. Nazi ezinye izicwangciso ezibalulekileyo:

1. Ukuchongwa kunye nokuthiywa kweemvakalelo

• Gcina ijenali yeemvakalelo ukubonisa ukuguquguquka kwemeko yakho
• Sebenzisa isigama esityebileyo seemvakalelo ukuchaza ngokuchanekileyo iimvakalelo zakho
• Ziqhelise ukucamngca ngengqondo ukuze ujonge ngcono iimeko zakho zeemvakalelo

2. Ukubonakaliswa ngokufanelekileyo kweemvakalelo

• Funda ukunxibelelana neemvakalelo zakho ngokungqongqo, ngaphandle kobundlobongela okanye ukungakhathali
• Sebenzisa ifomathi “Ndiziva… xa… kuba…” ukuvakalisa ngokucacileyo iimvakalelo
• Ziqhelise ukuvakalisa iimvakalelo zakho kwindawo ekhuselekileyo (unyango, iqela lenkxaso)

3. Ukuphuhliswa kombono ocacileyo

• Ziqhelise ukubuza iingcinga zakho ezizenzekelayo
• Funa ezinye iingcaciso zokuziphatha kwabanye
• Hlakulela uvelwano, kwanakwiimeko ezinzima, ngaphandle kokuthethelela ukuziphatha kakubi

4. Iindlela zokulawula iimvakalelo

• Funda kwaye usebenzise iindlela zokuphefumla nzulu rhoqo
• Phonononga iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokucamngca kunye nokuphumla
• Ukusebenzisa ukubhala konyango ukukhulula iimvakalelo ezingalunganga

5. Ukomeleza ukuzazi

• Ziqhelise ukuzihlaziya yonke imihla
• Cela ingxelo enyanisekileyo kubantu obathembileyo
• Phonononga amaxabiso akho obuqu kunye neentshukumisa ezinzulu

Imingeni yokuphuhlisa ubukrelekrele beemvakalelo kwimeko eyityhefu

Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba ukuphuhlisa ubukrelekrele beemvakalelo ngelixa kubudlelwane nomntu okhohlisayo kuzisa imingeni ekhethekileyo:

1. Gaslighting : Umqhathi we-narcissistic unokuzama ukwenza ixhoba lithandabuze ezalo iimbono kunye neemvakalelo.
2. Emotional Manipulation : Iinzame zokubonakalisa iimvakalelo eziphilileyo zinokusetyenziswa ngokuchasene nexhoba.
3. Isolation : Ukungabikho kwenkxaso yentlalo kunokukwenza kube nzima ukwenza izakhono ezitsha zeemvakalelo.
4. Trauma : Ukwenzakala ngokweemvakalelo kwixesha elidlulileyo kunokuthintela inkqubo yokuphuhlisa ubukrelekrele beemvakalelo.
5. Uloyiko lokutshintsha :Ukuphucula ubukrelekrele beemvakalelo kunokusoyikisa imeko, oko kunokubangela ukwanda kokuziphatha kakubi.

Ibhayibhiliyografi kubukrelekrele beemvakalelo

Nalu ukhetho lwemisebenzi yesiFrentshi ejongene nobukrelekrele beemvakalelo, egubungela zombini imiba yethiyori kunye nesebenzayo yale ndawo inomdla:

1. Goleman, D. (1997). Ubukrelekrele boMvakalelo: Ungaziguqula njani iimvakalelo zakho zibe bubulumko. EParis: URobert Laffont.
2. Mikolajczak, M., Quoidbach, J., Kotsou, I., & Nélis, D. (2009). Izakhono zeemvakalelo. EParis: Dunod.
3. Chabot, D., & Chabot, M. (2005). I-Emotional Pedagogy: Ukuziva ufunda. EQuebec: Ii-Editions du CRP.
4. Lelord, F., & André, C. (2001). Amandla eemvakalelo: Uthando, umsindo, uvuyo … Paris: Odile Jacob.
5. Kotsou, I. (2016). Ubukrelekrele beemvakalelo kunye nolawulo: Ukuqonda kunye nokusebenzisa amandla eemvakalelo. EBrussels: uDe Boeck Supérieur.
6. Filliozat, I. (1997). Ubukrelekrele bentliziyo: Iziseko zegrama yeemvakalelo. EParis: JC Lattès.
7. Bellinghausen, L., & Chalon-Blanc, A. (2014). Ubukrelekrele beemvakalelo emsebenzini. EParis: Eyrolles.

Ubukrelekrele beemvakalelo njengendlela eya enkululekweni

Ukukhula kobukrelekrele ngokweemvakalelo kubonisa indlela enzima kodwa eyimfuneko kubasetyhini abangamaxhoba ee-narcissistic manipulators. Ngokuhlakulela ukuqonda okungcono kunye nokulawula iimvakalelo zabo, bafumana izixhobo ezinamandla zoku:

• Zikhusele ekulawuleni iimvakalelo
• Yomeleza ukuzithemba nokuzithemba kwabo
• Yenza izigqibo ezisekelwe kwimpilo-ntle yabo
• Misela imida ephilileyo kubudlelwane babo
• Qalisa inkqubo yokuphilisa kunye nokwakha ngokutsha

Nangona uhambo lunokuba lude kwaye luzele yimiqobo, ubukrelekrele beemvakalelo bubonelela ngekhampasi exabisekileyo yokuhamba kumanzi amdaka obudlelwane obuyityhefu. Ivula indlela eya kubomi obanelisayo, obuphawulwa ngolwalamano oluphilileyo nolulungeleleneyo.

Kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuba le nkqubo yokuphuhlisa ubukrelekrele beemvakalelo iluncedo ekuxhasweni ziingcali zempilo yengqondo ezigxile kumonzakalo onxulumene nobudlelwane obuyityhefu. Inkxaso yabo ingaba luncedo ekoyiseni imingeni ethile edityaniswe nalo mxholo kunye nokwandisa inzuzo yale nkqubo yokukhula komntu.