Ukukhanya kwegesi: Imvelaphi kunye nokubonakaliswa kolu qheliso

THE gaslighting ligama eliye lisetyenziswe ngakumbi, kodwa ukuqonda kwalo kanye akukacaci kwabaninzi. Ichaza indlela echuliweyo nengenabuqhophololo, ejolise ekwenzeni umntu athandabuze inyani yakhe. Lo mkhwa unokuba neziphumo ezibi kwabo bangamaxhoba, ubashiye bedidekile yaye bengakhuselekanga. Eli nqaku lichaza i inkcazo yokukhanya kwegesi, imvelaphi yayo, iindlela zayo ezahlukeneyo kunye neempembelelo zayo zengqondo.

Inkcazo yokuKhanyiswa kweGesi

THE gaslighting yinkqubo yokulawula ngokwasengqondweni apho umntu okanye iqela libangela ukuba omnye umntu athandabuze imbono yakhe, inkumbulo, okanye iingqondo zabo. Ixhoba lidla ngokukhokelela ekubeni likholelwe ukuba iimvakalelo zabo, iingcinga okanye iinkumbulo zibubuxoki okanye zibaxiwe. Oku kunokumenza akholelwe ukuba ingqondo ayizinzanga.

Ekuqaleni, eli gama livela kumdlalo waseBritani obizwa ngokuba gaslighting (1938) kunye nokulungiswa kwayo kwefilimu ka-1944. Ebalini, indoda ixhaphaza umfazi wayo ngokulungelelanisa ukuqaqamba kwezibane zegesi ekhayeni labo ngelixa ilukhanyela olu tshintsho. Obu buqhophololo bukhokelela umfazi ukuba athandabuze iimvakalelo zakhe kunye nesimo sakhe sengqondo.

Izizathu zokukhanyisa igesi

gaslighting kunokwenzeka kubudlelwane obahlukeneyo phakathi kwabantu: obusondeleyo, usapho, ubuhlobo okanye ubuchwephesha. Oonobangela bayo badla ngokunxulunyaniswa nokukhangela ulawulo nokulawula. Abantu abaneempawu ze-narcissistic okanye ukuphazamiseka kobuntu obungathandekiyo banokusebenzisa olu qheliso ukugcina uhlobo lwamandla kubudlelwane. Izinto ezikhuthazayo ekukhanyeni kwegesi ziquka:

• Ukugcina ulawulo: Abaphathi be-manipulators bahlala befuna ukugcina ulawulo kwixhoba.
• Ukomelezwa komfanekiso ofanelekileyo we--self-image: Ngokujongela phantsi abanye, izilayiti zegesi zondla owazo umfanekiso kwaye zizibeka njengabongamileyo.
• Ukukhuselwa ekugxekeni: gaslighting kuvumela ii-manipulators ukuba ziphazamise ingqalelo kwiimpazamo okanye iimpazamo zabo.

Iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zeGaslighting

I-gaslighting inokuthatha iifom ezahlukeneyo, zonke zijolise ekudambiseni ixhoba kwaye zibenze baxhomekeke kwi-manipulator.

1. Ukukhanyela ubunyani

I-gaslighter inokukhanyela iziganeko ezenzeke, umzekelo ngokuthi: “Azange yenzeke” okanye “Uyibaxa”. Le ndlela yokwenza ixhoba lithandabuze iinkumbulo zalo.

2. Ukwala ukunxibelelana

Kwezinye iimeko, umntu okhohlisayo unokwala lonke unxibelelwano oluphathelele kwimibandela enobuzaza, esithi: “Ukuba niyaqhubeka nithetha ngayo, ndiyahamba.” Oku kuthula kufuna ukuba ixhoba lithule ukuze lingaphulukani nemvume okanye ukudibanisa ne-gaslighter.

3. Ukuphikisana

I-manipulator ihlala iphikisana nexhoba ukucela umngeni kwimbono yabo. Umzekelo: “Sele ndikuxelele ukuba ayiyonyani” okanye “Ukhumbula kakubi, ayisiyiyo indlela eyenzeka ngayo.”

4. Uphambuko

I-gaslighter iyayitshintsha into okanye iguqule incoko ukuze iphephe ukubuza ukuziphatha kwakhe. Usenokukhumbula isiqendu esidluleyo ukuze ajike ingxubusho: “Khumbula, ubungekho nalapho bendikudinga.”

5. Ukunciphisa iimvakalelo

Olu hlobo lokukhanyisa igesi lujolise ekunciphiseni iimvakalelo zexhoba. Igaslighter iya kuthetha izinto ezinje “Unexhala kakhulu” okanye “Yinkcukacha, kutheni usenza into enkulu ngayo?” »ukwenzela ukuba ixhoba libe sesichengeni.

6. UkuKhanya ngeGesi

gaslighting kunokubandakanya ukuhlaselwa ngokomzimba, okulandelwa kukukhanyela isenzo okanye ubunzima baso. Ngokomzekelo, emva kokucinezela umzimba, umgibi usenokuthi, “Andikwenzanga nto, ubuthathaka kakhulu.”

7. gaslighting ngumthetheli

gaslighting kummeli kubandakanya ukusebenzisa amaqela esithathu ukuphazamisa ixhoba. Oku kunokubandakanya abo babathandayo abasecaleni komxhaphazi, ngaloo ndlela beqinisa intandabuzo kwixhoba.

Imizekelo yeeMeko zokuKhanya ngeGesi

gaslighting kufumaneka kwiimeko ezahlukeneyo. Nantsi eminye imizekelo ebambekayo yolu qheliso olusekwe kubudlelwane:

• Ubudlelwane bothando: Iqabane elikhohlisa iqabane lakhe linokukhanyela ngokupheleleyo ubungqina ngokumbiza ngokuthi “i-paranoid”.
• Ubudlelwane bentsapho: Umzali unokumenza amathandabuzo umntwana wakhe ngokukhanyela ukuba kukho into ayithethileyo, nangona umntwana eqinisekile ngayo.
• Ubume bomsebenzi: Isuphavayiza inokukhohlisa umqeshwa ngokukhanyela ulwazi oluyimfuneko okanye ngokucwangcisiweyo ukunyelisa umsebenzi wakhe.
• Abahlobo kunye noBudlelwane beNtlalo: Abahlobo banokuhlala bebeka umntu phantsi ngokumbiza ngokuthi “ubuthathaka kakhulu” okanye “akakwazi ukwenza isiqhulo.”

Kutheni i-Gaslighting isebenza kangaka?

gaslighting kusekelwe kwiinkqubo ezithile zengqondo. Ngokuphazamisa imbono yexhoba, i-manipulator izuza isandla esiphezulu. Iimpawu ezithile zexhoba nazo zinokudlala indima:

• Personal Predispositions: Abantu abanamava ebuntwaneni aphawulwa ngobudlelwane obungqubanayo okanye ukungazithembi ngokweemvakalelo kunokwenzeka ukuba bafumane ukukhanyiswa kwegesi.
• Uvelwano kunye altruism: Amaxhoba adla ngokuba ngabantu abanovelwano abafuna ukuqonda abanye nabakulungeleyo ukuzibuza.
• Ukoyika ukulahlwa: Uloyiko lokuphulukana nobudlelwane obubalulekileyo lutyhala abanye abantu ukuba bamkele iimeko ezixhaphazayo.

Iimbekiselo zeBibliographic

Nalu uluhlu lweembekiselo ezisi-7 zebhayografi malunga nomba wokulayita igesi:

1. Hirigoyen, M.-F. (2000). Le harcèlement moral : La violence perverse au quotidien . Syros.
2. Besson, P. (2018). La manipulation mentale : Définition et enjeux psychologiques . Editions de la Nouvelle Revue.
3. Courtet, P. (2013). Les blessures de l’âme . Odile Jacob.
4. Beauvois, J.-L., & Joule, R.-V. (2011). Petit traité de manipulation à l’usage des honnêtes gens . Presses Universitaires de France.
5. Atwood, M. (2010). Le syndrome de Stockholm : Pourquoi restons-nous avec des manipulateurs ? Seuil.
6. Lévy, B. (2012). Psychologie de la manipulation : Définir, comprendre et résister . Dunod.
7. Dufour, D. (2011). La manipulation affective dans le couple : Comment la reconnaître et y faire face . Eyrolles.

Ukuqukumbela

gaslighting yindlela entsonkothileyo kunye neyingozi yokuguqula ingqondo, ejolise ekuthinteleni umntu kwimbono yakhe yokwenyani. Imiphumo yako, nangona ngokufuthi ingabonakali, inokuba yingozi kwabo bajamelana nayo, ibangele ukuba bangazithembi yaye ibenza babe sesichengeni sokulawulwa. Esi siganeko asiphelelanga kubudlelwane obusondeleyo; kukwabonakala nakwiintsapho, emsebenzini nakunxibelelwano olubanzi loluntu.