Ukuphindaphinda ukunyanzeliswa: kutheni sihlala sibuyela kwinto ebuhlungu kuthi

Inkcazo: ukunyanzeliswa kokuphindaphinda kukuthambekela kokungazi nto ukuvuselela – kunye nokuvelisa – iimeko ezidlulileyo zokubandezeleka, njengokungathi i-psyche ifuna, ngokuphindaphindiweyo, ukuyiqonda into engenakukwazi ukuyichaza. UFreud wayichaza “njengokubuya kwabacinezelweyo”: into ebingenakuthethwa okanye iqondwe ibuyela kwindawo, ngendlela yokhetho oluphindaphindiweyo.

Indlela: inxeba elikhethayo

Ngokuchasene nenkolelo eqhelekileyo, ukunyanzeliswa kokuphindaphinda akukona ukuthanda ukubandezeleka. Linge lokuukulungisa: umntwana ongazange athandwe ngaphandle kwemiqathango (bonaumama one-narcissisticOkanyeukwenzakala ebuntwaneni) ukhula enemeko esondeleleneyo — “ukuba ndinokwenza umntu andithande ongafikelelekiyo nowenza buhlungu, ngoko ndiya kubonisa ukuba ndixabisekile.” Njengomntu omdala, lo mntu uziva engaqhelekanga “ekhaya” kunye namaqabane abandayo, angalindelekanga, okanye akhohlakeleyo: kungekhona ngenxa yokuba bathanda ubundlobongela, kodwa ngenxa yokuba ukuqhelana kuvakalelwa njengendawo yokusingwa. Iqabane elinempilo libonakala “linesithukuthezi”: akavusi nayiphi na imeko.

Imisayino yophindaphindo

• Iingxabano ezifanayo, nabantu abahlukeneyo, ngexesha elifanayo kubudlelwane.
• Imvakalelo ebuhlungu “esele inamava”: ukanti omnye umntu ondijongela phantsi, uyandishiya, undenza ndithandabuze.
• Umtsalane onzulu kwiiprofayili ezingafumanekiyo okanye zesiphithiphithi, kunye nokungonwabi ngokuthamba okuzinzileyo.
• Ukuqaliswa kwakhona kwendima eyaziwayo: umsindisi, i-scapegoat, engabonakaliyo.

Ikhonkco kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator

I-manipulator ye-narcissistic yi-detector ekhethekileyo yokuphindaphinda: uyayibona ingozi kwaye uyayisebenzisa. I-mirror effect kunye ne-intermittent reinforcement zijoliswe ngqo kumntwana owenzakeleyo osalindele umvuzo. Ixhoba alihlali ngenxa yokuba “li-masochistic”: lihlala ngenxa yokuba indawo iyaziwa kwaye ukuhamba kubonakala ngathi kukushiya, okwesibini, ithemba lokubuyisela.

Phuma kuphindaphindo

• Chaza imeko: bhala ibali lobudlelwane bakho bangaphambili njengezahluko zencwadi enye. Ukuphindaphinda okubonakalayo kuphelelwa ngamandla.
• Kulumkele ukufakelwa kombane: “okwangoku kwenkanuko” kuhlala kungumqondiso wemeko yakudala, hayi uthando lokwenyani.
• Ukuba namava okulungisa: ukuphilisa akuveli ekuqondeni, kodwa ku-ukuphila enye into – amabhondi akhuselekileyo, apho umntu kungafuneki ukuba afanelwe luthando. Oku kunokufundwa, kubandakanywa nonyango.

Esi sesinye sezizathu zokuba i-healing kwi-manipulator ye-narcissistic ithatha ixesha: akukhona nje ukuhamba, kodwa ukuvala imeko ekhokelela kuyo.

Inkcazelo esuka kwi-Glossary ye-narcissistic pervert.