I-Attachment Disorder: Ukuqonda kunye nokuPhilisa emva kobudlelwane obunobuthi

Ubudlelwane kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator bunokuba nempembelelo enkulu kwindlela esinxulumana ngayo nabanye. Eli nqaku liphonononga ukuba la mava azichaphazela njani iipateni zethu zokuphazamiseka kokuncamathelisa kwaye licebisa iindlela zokwakha ubudlelwane obunempilo.

Yintoni uncamathiselo kwaye kutheni lubalulekile?

I-Attachment ibhekiselele ekukwazini kwethu ukudala ubudlelwane obuqinileyo ngokweemvakalelo nabanye. Izibophelelo zethu zokuqala zokuncamathela, ngokubanzi nabazali bethu okanye amanani abazali ngexesha lobuntwana, zibumba ulindelo lwethu lobudlelwane kunye nokuziphatha kubomi bethu bonke.

Ukuncamathela okukhuselekileyo kukuvumela ukuba uzive uzithembile kubudlelwane bakho, unxibelelane neemfuno zakho kwaye ube nokuzithemba okuhle. Ngokuchasene noko, amava angaphambili angalunganga angakhokelela kwiipateni zokungakhuselekanga zokuncamathela ezibonakala ebudaleni.

Ubudlelwane kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator luchaphazela njani ukuncamathela?

Abaphathi beNarcissistic badla ngokudala isiphithiphithi kunye nobudlelwane obungazinzanga. Ukuziphatha kwabo okukhohlisayo, ukungabi naluvelwano, kunye nokuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo kunokusingela phantsi kakhulu imvakalelo yokhuseleko nentembeko yeqabane labo.

Oku kunokuphinda kusebenze okanye kwenze mandundu ngakumbi ukwenzakala okuncamatheleyo obekukho ngaphambili, okanye kude kwenze iipateni ezintsha zokuncamathela ezingasebenziyo. Amaxhoba angaphuhla:

• Ixhala lokulahlwa
• Uloyiko lokusondelelana
• Ukungabathembi ngokugqithisileyo abanye abantu
• Ukuzithemba okuphantsi kunye ne--ukungazinaki
• Ubunzima bokuvakalisa iimfuno zabo

Izitayile zokuncamathisela ezahlukeneyo kunye nokuba sesichengeni kwazo kwii-manipulators ze-narcissistic

Kubalulekile ukuphonononga iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokuncamathela kunye nokuba sesichengeni kwazo kwii-narcissistic manipulators. Nantsi eminye imizekelo:

Ukuncamathela okunexhala

Abantu abanengxaki yokuncamathela okunxunguphalisayo banesidingo esinamandla sokuqinisekiswa kunye nokuqinisekiswa kubudlelwane babo. Bahlala besoyika ukulahlwa kwaye banokuthi “babambelele”.

Esi simbo sibenza babe sesichengeni ngokukodwa kwii-manipulators ze-narcissistic ezitshintshisanayo phakathi kombono kunye nokwaliwa. Umjikelo wethemba kunye nokuphoxeka ubagcina bebambelele kulwalamano oluyityhefu.

Kuphephe ukuncamathela

Ngokwahlukileyo, abantu abanengxaki yokuthintela ukuncamathisela badla ngokuyeka ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo kwaye bahlale bekude. Bakuxabisa ukuzimela geqe yaye kunzima ukubathemba.

Okumangalisayo kukuba, banokutsaleleka kwii-manipulators ze-narcissistic kuba umgama wabo wokuqala weemvakalelo umele umngeni. Emva kokuba “boyisiwe”, baba nobunzima bokuhamba nangona bexhatshazwa.

Ukuncamathela okungalungelelanisiweyo

Olu hlobo ludibanisa ukuxhalaba kunye nokuphepha. Abantu bayajikeleza phakathi komnqweno onzulu wokunxibelelana kunye noloyiko olutyhafisayo lokusondelelana.

Ubudlelwane kunye ne-manipulator ye-narcissistic kwandisa le ngxabano kunye nesiphithiphithi seemvakalelo. Umjikelo we-devaluation/devaluation uhambelana nolindelo lwabo lobudlelwane obuphikisanayo.

Khusela uncamathiselo

Nangona kunqabile, kuyenzeka ukuba abantu abanengxaki yokuncamathela ekhuselekileyo bazifumane benobudlelwane ne-narcissistic manipulator. Ukuzithemba kwabo kunye nokuvuleka kwabo ngokweemvakalelo kunokuqala ukutsala i-narcissist.

Nangona kunjalo, akunakwenzeka ukuba bahlale bebanjelwe kubudlelwane obuxhaphazayo ixesha elide, babe nezakhono ezingcono zokuchonga toxic ukuziphatha kwaye bahambe.

Iziphumo zokuphazamiseka kokuncamathela

Iziphumo zokuphazamiseka kokuncamathela zinokuba zininzi kwaye zihluke, zichaphazela iinkalo ezahlukeneyo zobomi bomntu. Nazi iimpembelelo eziphambili:

1. Ubudlelwane phakathi kwabantu:
   • Ubunzima bokuseka nokugcina ubudlelwane obuzinzile
   • Utyekelo lokuba likheswa ekuhlaleni okanye kubudlelwane bangaphandle
   • Imiba yokuthemba abanye
2. Ummiselo weemvakalelo:
   • Ubunzima bokulawula iimvakalelo
   • Utyekelo lokutshintsha kweemvakalelo
   • I-Hypersensitivity okanye, ngokuchaseneyo, ukunyanzeliswa kwengqondo
3. Ukuzithemba:
   • Ukuzithemba okuphantsi
   • Ukuziva ungafaneleki okanye ukungalufanelanga uthando
   • Ubunzima bokuqonda ukubaluleka komntu
4. Ukuziphatha:
   • Ingozi okanye ukuziphatha okuzonakalisayo
   • Ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo okanye ukuphepha ubudlelwane obusondeleyo
   • Ubunzima bokuziqhelanisa kwiimeko ezahlukeneyo zentlalo
5. Impilo yengqondo:
   • Ukonyuka komngcipheko wokuphuhlisa ixhala okanye ukuphazamiseka koxinzelelo
   • Ukuba sesichengeni kwiziyobisi
   • Ukubakho kokuphuhliswa kokuphazamiseka kobuntu
6. Uphuhliso lwengqondo kunye nokufunda:
   • Ubunzima bokugxila nokufunda
   • Iingxaki zememori, ngakumbi ezinxulumene namava angokweemvakalelo
   • Ulibaziseko olunokubakho kuphuhliso lolwimi
7. Ubuzali:
   I-
   • Ingozi yokudluliselwa kwezizukulwana kwi-attachment disorder
   • Ubunzima bokwanelisa ngokwaneleyo iimfuno ezingokweemvakalelo zabantwana bakabani
8. Ubomi bomsebenzi:
   • Ukungazinzi kobuchwephesha
   • Ubunzima bokusebenza kwiqela okanye igunya elilawulayo
   • Imiba yolawulo loxinzelelo emsebenzini

Kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuba le miphumo inokwahluka ngamandla kunye nokubonakaliswa ngokuxhomekeke kubantu kunye namava obomi.

Indlela yokuphilisa amanxeba okunamathela emva kobudlelwane be-narcissistic?

Nanga amanyathelo ekufuneka uwalandele ukuze ukwazi ukunyanga kwesi sifo sincamathele:

• Ukwazi iipateni zakho zobudlelwane

Inyathelo lokuqala kukuchonga iipatheni zakho zokuncamathela kunye nendlela ezinokuba negalelo ngayo ekuhlaleni kubudlelwane obuyityhefu. Ngaphandle kokuzibeka ityala, imalunga nokuqonda ubuthathaka bakho ukuze uzikhusele ngakumbi kubo kwixesha elizayo.

• Ukusebenza ngokuzithemba

Abaqhatha beNarcissistic bayagqwesa ekujongeni phantsi ukuzithemba kweqabane labo. Ukuphinda uzenzele umfanekiso omhle wesiqu sakho kubalulekile ekudaleni ubudlelwane obunempilo. Oku kubandakanya ukuzivela, ukuziqinisekisa nokuxabisa iimpawu zikabani.

• Funda ukuseta imida esempilweni

Amaxhoba amaninzi anobunzima bokuseka kunye nokugcina imida ecacileyo kubudlelwane babo. Ukwazi ukuthi hayi, chaza iimfuno zakho kwaye unganyamezeli isimilo esingenantlonipho kubalulekile ukunqanda ukuphinda ubuyele kwizinto eziyityhefu.

• Phuhlisa ukuzimela kwakho ngokweemvakalelo

Akusekho kuxhomekeke ekuqinisekisweni kweqabane ukuba uzive uxabisekile yinjongo ebalulekileyo. Oku kubandakanya ukufunda ukuzilawula ngokweemvakalelo kunye nokufumana eminye imithombo yentlalontle kunye nokwaneliseka.

• Ukuqhagamshela kwakhona kwiimvakalelo zakho kunye neemfuno

Ubudlelwane be-Narcissistic buhlala bukhokelela ekuzikhwebuleni kwiimvakalelo zakho ukuze uphile. Ukufunda ukuchonga nokuvakalisa iimvakalelo kunye neemfuno eziyinyani kubalulekile ekudaleni unxibelelwano olunempilo.

• Qeqesha ingqondo

Ukucamngca kunye neendlela zokucinga zinokunceda ukunciphisa ixhala lokuncamathela, uhlale usekelwe ngoku, kwaye ufumane umbono kwiipateni zobudlelwane obuzenzekelayo.

Xa kufuneka udibane nengcali?

Philisa kwiukwenzakalaUkuncamathela okunzulu akusoloko kulula wedwa. Ukubonisana nonyango olukhethekileyo kunokuba luncedo ukuba:

• Uhlala uvelisa iipateni ezifanayo zobudlelwane obuyityhefu
• Unobunzima bokuthembana okanye ukuzibophelela kubudlelwane obutsha
• Unexhala, uxinzelelo okanye uxinzelelo lwasemva koxinzelelo emva kobudlelwane bakho kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator.
• Udinga uncedo lokuphucula ukuzithemba kwakho kunye nezakhono zokuziqinisekisa

Ingcali inokukunceda uphonononge iipateni zakho zokuncamathela ngobunzulu kwaye uphuhlise iindlela ezintsha zobudlelwane obunempilo.

I-Bibliographic reference yokuqonda ingxaki yokuncamathela

Nazi iireferensi ezisixhenxe zebhayibhilografi ngesihloko sokuphazamiseka kokuncamathela, ezijongana nemibono eyahlukeneyo ngalo mbandela:

1. Main, M., Solomon, J. (1986). Attachement désorganisé et comportement parental.
2. Lyons-Ruth, K., Bronfman, E., et Attwood, G. (1999). Patrons de communications affectifs perturbés et désorganisation de l’attachement.
3. APA (2000). DSM-IV-TR : Manuel diagnostique et statistique des troubles mentaux.
4. Gilbert, F., et Daffern, M. (2011). Troubles de la personnalité et violence.
5. Bouchard, M., et Gingras, J. (2007). Caractéristiques psychiques et troubles de personnalité.
6. Moss, E., Cyr, C., et al. (2005). Transition de l’attachement désorganisé à contrôlant chez les enfants d’âge préscolaire.
7. National Child Traumatic Stress Network (n.d.). Troubles de l’attachement et expériences traumatiques en début de vie.

La manqaku kunye nezifundo kufuneka zikunike isiseko esiluqilima sokuphonononga isihloko sokuphazamiseka kokuncamathisela ngaphakathi kwesakhelo sesayensi.

Isiphelo: ukuya kuncamathiselo olutsha olukhuselekileyo

Ukuphilisa amanxeba akho okuncamathela emva kobudlelwane kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator yinkqubo ethatha ixesha, umonde kunye novelwano. Ukuqonda indlela amava ethu adlulileyo ayilo ngayo indlela esinxulumana ngayo linyathelo lokuqala lokutshintsha.

Ngokusebenza ngokwakho kunye nokuziqhelanisa nokuziphatha okutsha kobudlelwane, kunokwenzeka ukuphuhlisa uncamathiselo olukhuseleke ngakumbi. Oku kuvula indlela yobudlelwane bexesha elizayo obusempilweni, obanelisayo kwaye obusekwe ekuthembaneni.

Khumbula ukuba ufanelwe lulwalamano olunentlonipho nolunothando. Ngomsebenzi kunye nenkxaso, kunokwenzeka ukuba woyise impembelelo yobudlelwane be-narcissistic kwaye wenze ubunzulu, unxibelelwano oluyinyani olulangazelelayo.