Indlela yolwalwa olungwevu: ukuba “ngwevu njengelitye” ebusweni bomatshini

Ingcaciso: indlela yelitye elingwevu sisicwangciso sokhuseleko esibandakanya ukuba, phambi komqhubi we-manipulator, unomdla njengelitye elingwevu: ukungathathi hlangothi, ukudakumba, ngaphandle kokusabela ngokweemvakalelo. Injongo ayikokujezisa enye, kodwa ukunqumla amafutha abo – kuba i-narcissistic manipulator idla kwiimvakalelo zakho.

Kutheni isebenza: i-narcissistic manipulator idinga ukusabela kwakho

I-manipulator ifuna into enye kuphela: amandla phezu kwemeko yakho yangaphakathi. Iinyembezi, umsindo, ukukhunga, kunye nempikiswano – yonke into iqinisekisa kuye ukuba uza kuwe. Ujongene nomntu ongasaphenduliyo, ophendulayo “kulungile”, “ukuba uyafuna”, “Ndiya kucinga ngako” ngethoni ecacileyo, ukusebenzisana kuba kungenakusetyenziswa. Ngaphandle kwemvakalelo yokungena kuyo, uninzi lwabenzi bobuqhetseba be-narcissistic bajikela kubo baye kwimithombo esebenzayo ngakumbi.

Indlela yokusebenzisa indlela, ngokuchanekileyo

• Iimpendulo ezimfutshane neziyinyaniso: “ewe”, “hayi”, “Andazi”, “ziphawuliwe”. Akukho zizathu – konke ukuthethelelwa kukubanjwa.
• Zero imvakalelo ebonakalayo: akukho zinyembezi, akukho uncumo olunomkhenkce, akukho ntetho. Ubuso bungathathi hlangothi, ilizwi elilinganayo. I-Sarcasm, ngaphezu kwako konke, kukusilela: yimvakalelo efihlakeleyo.
• Akukho nkcukacha zobuqu : iiprojekthi, impumelelo, ukuphuma — yonke into iba “akukho nto ikhethekileyo”. Ulwazi yimali.
• Ungaze ubhengeze indlela: “Ndenza i-gray rock nawe” iyayitshabalalisa ngoko nangoko.
• Uqhagamshelwano oluncinci kunye nolulawulwayo: indlela isebenza ngokukodwa xa uqhagamshelwano lungenakugwenywa – abantwana, umsebenzi, iinkqubo.

Iminyino ebalulekileyo kunye noLumkelo

Indlela ye-gray rock yi-pas ayisiso isisombululo sexesha elide: yikhaka lexeshana, eliluncedo ngexesha lenguqu – ukulungiselela ukuhamba, inkqubo, ukunyanzeliswa komzali. Ukuhlala iminyaka “kwimo yelitye” kukudinwa kwaye kukunqumle kwiimvakalelo zakho, ezixabisekileyo: ziyakwazisa. Izilumkiso ezimbini ezibalulekileyo:

• Xa kwenzeka ubundlobongela bomzimba okanye ingozi, ilitye elimpunga alanelanga: ukhuseleko luza kuqala (ubulungisa, imibutho, indawo yokuhlala). I-plan kumanyathelo ama-6 ukushiya i-PN idibanisa ezi meko.
• Ezinye ii-manipulators ze-narcissistic zonyuka ngamandla ebusweni bokuthula: ukuba ziba zisongelo xa uba ngwevu, luphawu lokushiya imeko, unganyanzelisi.

Ilitye elingwevu alikho ukungakhathali

Ukuba “ngwevu” akuyi kubanda: kunye nabo ubathandayo, abahlobo bakho, abantwana bakho, uhlala uphila ngokupheleleyo. Indlela iyasebenzangokukodwaekusebenzisaneni ne-manipulator. Yimpahla yokuphuma, hayi ulusu lwesibini. Ukusebenza kwinto elandelayo – ukwakhiwa kwakhona, buyela kuwe – isikhokeloukuphilisa emva kwe-manipulator ye-narcissisticgqibezela inkqubo, kwaye uqonde iukuqinisa okwethutyanakukunceda uhlale endleleni.

Inkcazelo esuka kwi-Glossary ye-narcissistic pervert.