Qaphela ivili leemvakalelo kubudlelwane kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator

Ubudlelwane kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator kunokuba nzima kakhulu ukuhamba, ngakumbi xa kuziwa ekuchongeni iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokuziphatha. Enye yezona zinto zichuliweyo nezifihlakeleyo “livili leemvakalelo,” umjikelo weemvakalelo onetyhefu onokubamba amaxhoba kangangeminyaka.

Yintoni ivili leemvakalelo?

Ivili leemvakalelo libhekiselele kwipatheni yeemvakalelo ephindaphindiweyo apho i-narcissistic manipulator itshintshana phakathi kokuziphatha okuhlukeneyo ukugcina ulawulo. Lo mjikelo ukholisa ukuba nezigaba ezine:

1. Idealization: Kwangoko kubudlelwane, umbhexeshi we-narcissistic ukubeke kwisiseko, ekuhlamba ngokuncoma, ingqalelo, kunye nothando. Esi sigaba sikwenza uzive ukhethekile, uthandwa kwaye ukhuselekile.
2. Devaluation: Ngequbuliso, umbhexeshi we-narcissistic uqala ukukugxeka, ukuthoba isidima kunye nokunciphisa impumelelo yakho. Emva koko uziva udidekile, ukhathazekile kwaye ubuzwa.
3. Aukulahlwa/Rejection: Xa usabela kwindlela aziphethe ngayo ezenzakalisayo, umntu okhohlisayo unokurhoxa ngokweemvakalelo okanye ngokwasemzimbeni, akushiye ukwimeko yokuphelelwa lixhala kunye noloyiko.
4. Reconciliation: Emva kwexesha lokubanda okanye ukungabikho, i-manipulator ye-narcissistic iyabuya, icela uxolo kwaye ikwenza uthembise ukubuya kwinqanaba lokulindela. Ikwenza ube nethemba lokuba izinto ziya kulunga.

Ukuqonda ivili leemvakalelo

Nazi ezinye iingongoma ekufuneka uziqwalasele:

1.Imvakalelo yokuqala yekratshi

Xa uphambi kwe-narcissistic manipulator, imvakalelo yokuqala enokuthi ikubethe likratshi. Isenokubonakala ixakile, kodwa eli bhongo lingafanelekanga nelibaxiweyo lidla ngokuba sisiseko sokuziphatha kweqabane lakho.

Ayingombuzo wekratshi eliphilileyo nelilungeleleneyo, kodwa kukuzicingela ngokugqithiseleyo okumtyhalayo ukuba azigqale njengowongamileyo kunabanye. Le mfuno iqhubekayo yokunyuswa, ukunconywa, kunye nokubekwa kwi-pedestal luphawu oluphambili lwe-narcissistic manipulator. Nantoni na esongela lo mfanekiso ukhohlisayo uya kubonwa njengohlaselo lomntu.

2. Uloyiko olufihlakeleyo

Emva kwale façade yamandla onke kukho uloyiko olunzulu. I-narcissistic manipulator izakhele iindonga ngeenxa zonke ukuze azikhusele kwihlabathi alibona njengelisoyikiso. Olu loyiko lwezinyanya, ngokufuthi olusekelwe ebuntwaneni bakhe, lumenza azikhusele ngokugqith’ emgceni aze azivalele kuye.

Ukungakwazi ukuvulela abanye ngokwenene, akanako ukudala amaqhina anzulu kwaye ahlala ehleli. Uyoyika ukuba sesichengeni, ukutyhila iziphoso zakhe, kuba esoyika ukuba ziya kusetyenziswa kuye. Olu loyiko lubangela ukuba afune ngamandla ukulawula kunye negunya phezu kwabo bamngqongileyo.

3.Ukuba wedwa okukhoyo

Oku kungakwazi ukunxulumana ngokunyanisekileyo nabanye kukhokelela kwi-manipulator ye-narcissistic kuhlobo lwe-solitude ekhoyo. Nokuba bangaphi abahlobo okanye ubudlelwane anokuba nabo, akakhe aqhagamshelwe ngokwenene kubo. Kuye, abantu “ziizixhobo ze-narcissistic,” iindlela zokondla i-ego yakhe kwaye uzive uphakamileyo.

Akukho ukwabelana ngokwenene, ukuzithemba okanye ukusondelana kobu budlelwane. I-narcissistic manipulator ayize ivuleke ngokupheleleyo, ngenxa yokoyika ukwenzakaliswa okanye ukungcatshwa. Obu bulolo bangaphakathi, obu buyatha abuvayo, bubambisa i-resentment yakhe kwihlabathi kunye nesidingo sakhe sokulawula abanye.

4. Ubuphantsi obuhlawulelwayo

Embindini wobuntu bombhexeshi we-narcissistic kukuziva uphantsi. Ekubeni engakwazi ukwamkela iziphene neziphene zakhe, uzifihla emva komfanekiso wemfezeko afuna ukuwumisela nangayiphi na indlela.

Xa le nkohliso yaphukile, xa sinobuganga bokubuza, i-narcissistic manipulator uziva esongelwa kwingqibelelo yakhe. Emva koko usabela ngohlaselo, ukugxekwa kabukhali okanye ukuthula okupholileyo, kumzamo onzima wokugcina ubuntu bakhe obubuthathaka.

Umjikelo weemvakalelo

Ezi mvakalelo ezine eziphambili-ikratshi, uloyiko, isithukuthezi kunye nokungabi naphantsi-zidibanisa ukwenza umjikelo onzima weemvakalelo kwi-narcissistic manipulator. Nganye kwezi mvakalelo ziyayitshisa kwaye zomeleze ezinye, idala ukuhla okunyuka okumtyhalela kwindlela yokuziphatha eyonakalisayo.

Ikratshi eliphakamileyo livelisa uloyiko lokuba sesichengeni, nto leyo ekhokelela ekubeni ube likheswa nobulolo. Esi sithukuthezi sondla ukuziva uphantsi ukuba umbhexeshi we-narcissistic azame ngokukhawuleza ukubuyisela imbonakalo yokuphakama.

Kukulo mjikelo wesihogo apho wena, njengexhoba, uzifumane uvaleleke. Iqabane lakho le-narcissistic manipulative lihlala lijikeleza phakathi kwezi mvakalelo zahlukeneyo, ukuzithoba ekuhlaselweni ngamazwi, ukungakhathali okanye ukuvutha komsindo.

I-Bibliographic reference ukuqaphela ivili leemvakalelo

Nazi iimbekiselo ezisixhenxe zebhayografi kumxholo othi “ivili leemvakalelo”:

1. Plutchik, R. (1980). Emotion: A psychoevolutionary synthesis. Harper & Row.
2. Nussbaum, M. C. (2001). Les émotions et la raison : Une approche philosophique. Éditions La Découverte.
3. Lévine, R. (1999). La dynamique des émotions : Une approche psychologique. Éditions de l’Organisation.
4. Le Doux, J. (1999). Le cerveau émotionnel : Les émotions et leur impact sur le comportement. Odile Jacob.
5. Laforge, G. (2006). Émotions et gestion des conflits : Le modèle de la roue des émotions. In Gestion des conflits : Approches et outils (pp. 25-45). Éditions Québec Amérique.
6. Meyer, M. (2013). Les émotions au cœur de la communication. Presses universitaires de France.
7. Bouchard, S. (2009). Les émotions et leur influence sur le comportement. In Psychologie des émotions (pp. 75-90). Éditions du Mont Royal.

Ezi zimbekiselo zigubungela imiba eyahlukeneyo yeemvakalelo kwaye zinokunika isiqalo esihle sokuphonononga ingqikelelo yevili leemvakalelo.

Ukuqukumbela

Ubudlelwane kunye ne-manipulator ye-narcissistic idla ngokubonakaliswa ngumjikelo weemvakalelo owonakalisayo, oboniswa “livili leemvakalelo”. Le pateni, eyenziwe ngamanqanaba okucinga, ukuthotywa kwexabiso, ukulahlwa kunye noxolelwaniso, igcina amaxhoba kumjikelezo wokubhideka kunye nokubandezeleka. Ukuqonda iimvakalelo ezisisiseko, ezifana nekratshi eligqithisileyo, uloyiko, ubulolo obukhoyo kunye nokuziva siphantsi, kusivumela ukuba siziqonde ngcono iindlela zokulawula ekudlaleni. Ezi ngcinga azikwazi nje ukukhanyisa kutshintsho kubudlelwane, kodwa zikwanceda amaxhoba ukuba azikhulule kulo mjikelo unetyhefu. Ekugqibeleni, ulwazi kunye nolwazi zizixhobo ezibalulekileyo zokubuyisela amandla omntu kunye nokwakha ubudlelwane obunempilo.