Ingqumbo phakathi kwabasetyhini abangamaxhoba e-narcissistic manipulator

Ekuvukeni kobudlelwane kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator, abafazi abaninzi bazifumana benengxaki yeemvakalelo ezintsonkothileyo neziqhubekayo: ukucaphuka. Le mvakalelo inzulu, edla ngokubhidaniswa nokuba nomsindo, inokwendela nzulu ezingqondweni zamaxhoba, iphembelele inkqubo yawo yokuphilisa nembono yawo ngehlabathi. Eli nqaku liphonononga ama-nuances engqumbo kunye nemvelaphi yawo kumxholo wobudlelwane be-narcissistic.

Umahluko phakathi komsindo nengqumbo

Umsindo kunye nengqumbo ziimvakalelo ezimbini ezihlukeneyo ezidlala indima ebalulekileyo kumava asemva kobudlelwane bamaxhoba e-narcissistic manipulators. Nangona zihlala zibhidekile, ezi mvakalelo zineempawu ezahlukeneyo kunye neziphumo:

• Anger: imvakalelo yendalo kunye neyakhayo

Pha umsindo yindlela eqhelekileyo yokusabela ngokweemvakalelo kukungabikho kokusesikweni nonxunguphalo. Ingamandla okuqhuba utshintsho kunye nokuphiliswa xa kutshayelwe ngendlela eyiyo. Umsindo ngokuqhelekileyo yimvakalelo yexesha elifutshane enokubonakaliswa ngeendlela eziphilileyo.

• Inzonzo: imvakalelo eqhubekayo kunye nenokuthi iyonakalisa

Olu luhlobo lobukrakra oluthatha ixesha elide. Kubandakanya ukuhlalutya rhoqo ububi obenzekileyo kunye nomnqweno wokuziphindezela. Ingqumbo inokumtya umntu ngaphakathi, ithintele inkqubo yakhe yokuphilisa.

Iingcambu zeNzondo kuBudlelwane beNarcissistic

Ingqumbo ifumana umhlaba ochumileyo ngakumbi kumxholo wobudlelwane nomgibi we-narcissistic. Ziliqela izinto ezinegalelo ekuphuhlisweni kwayo:

• Ukungabikho kokusesikweni okubonwayo: Amaxhoba ahlala evakalelwa kukuba aye aphathwa ngendlela engenabulungisa ngokunzulu. Ukungabikho kokuqatshelwa okanye ukuzisola kwicala le-narcissist kubangela le mvakalelo yokungekho sikweni.

• Ixesha kunye namandla atyaliweyo: Abasetyhini bahlala beqonda ukuba bachithe iminyaka yobomi babo kubudlelwane obungasebenziyo. Imvakalelo yokuba uye wadlala ngexesha lakho kunye namandla akho anokubangela inzondo enzulu.
• Amathemba obuxoki kunye nezithembiso ezaphukileyo: Ubudlelwane beNarcissistic busoloko bubonakaliswa yimijikelo yezithembiso kunye nokuphoxeka. Ukuqonda ukuba ezi zithembiso zazingenanto kunokukhokelela kubukrakra obunzulu.
• Ukungasebenzi ngokweemvakalelo: Abenzi be-Narcissistic bakholisa ukunciphisa okanye ukukhanyela iimvakalelo zeqabane labo. Oku kungasebenzi rhoqo kunokudala ingqumbo engapheliyo, nasemva kokuba ubudlelwane buphelile.

Ukubonakaliswa kwenzondo yobudlelwane obusemva kwe-narcissistic

Ukuzonda kunokuzibonakalisa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo kwabasetyhini abasindileyo kubudlelwane kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator:

1. Obsession kunye ne-rumination: Iingcinga eziphazamisayo malunga neqabane langaphambili kunye neziganeko ezidlulileyo ziqhelekileyo. Ixhoba lisenokuchitha iiyure lidlala ngengqondo imiboniso evela kubudlelwane, liphembelela inzondo yalo.
2. Umnqweno wokuziphindezela: UA umnqweno onamandla wokubona i-narcissist “ihlawula” ngenxa yezenzo zakhe inokubamba. Lo mnqweno wokuziphindezela unokuba yinto eqhubekayo, ukuthintela ixhoba ukuba liqhubele phambili.
3. Ubunzima kwi-letting go: Inokugcina ixhoba liboshwe ngokweemvakalelo kubudlelwane obudlulileyo. Obu bunzima bokuvumela buhambe bunokuthintela amandla okwenza ubudlelwane obutsha obunempilo.
4. Cynicism kunye nokungathembani: Amava kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator inokukhokelela kwi-cynicism enzulu kubudlelwane ngokubanzi. Ukungathembi iinjongo zabanye kudla ngokuba lukhuselo, kodwa ukwahlula, umqobo.

Iziphumo zexesha elide zokucaphuka

Ukuba le mvakalelo ayilungiswanga, inokuba nefuthe elibalulekileyo kubomi babasetyhini abathe basinda kubudlelwane be-narcissistic:

• Impembelelo kwimpilo yengqondo: Ingqumbo engapheliyo inokufaka isandla kwixhala kunye nokudakumba. Inokwandisa post-traumatic stress iimpawu ezinxulumene nokusetyenziswa kakubi kwe-narcissistic.
• Izithintelo zokuphiliswa: Inokuthintela umntu ogulayo ukuba agxile ekuphiliseni kwakhe nasekukhuleni kwakhe. Igcina ixhoba likwimeko embi yengqondo, lithintele ukukwazi ukuqhubela phambili.

• Iziphumo kubudlelwane bexesha elizayo: Ubunzima bokuthembeka bunokwenza kube nzima ukwenza ubudlelwane obutsha obunempilo. Isenokuphembelela ngokungazi intsebenziswano nabanye, idale iipateni zobudlelwane eziyingxaki.

• Impembelelo ekuzithembeni: Inzondo ehlala ihleli inokuphelisa ukuzithemba, yomeleza amathandabuzo atyalwe ngunochuku. Kunokuthintela ixhoba ekubeni liqonde ukubaluleka kwalo namandla alo.

Ubume bexeshana benzondo

Ingqumbo inobudlelwane obukhethekileyo kunye nexesha, oluyahlula kwezinye iimvakalelo zasemva kobudlelwane:

• Ukwandiswa kokubandezeleka: Ngelixa ubudlelwane buphelile, inzondo igcina ukubandezeleka kusebenza. Idala uhlobo lobudlelwane obuzingisileyo ngokweemvakalelo kunye nomxhaphazi, naxa bengekho.

• Ukuphazamiseka kokubona ixesha: Ukurhoxa kunokukhokelela ekugxininiseni ngokugqithiseleyo kwixesha elidlulileyo. Inokwenza inkohliso yokuba ixesha limile, lithintele ukuqikelelwa kwixesha elizayo.

• Umjikelo wokuzondla: A Njengoko ixesha lihamba, ingqumbo inokukhula ukuba ayilungiswanga. Oku kukhulisa kunokudala umjikelo apho ixesha langoku lihlala linemibala ngobuhlungu bexesha elidlulileyo.

Ingqumbo njengendlela yokuzikhusela

Okumangalisayo kukuba, ukucaphuka ngamanye amaxesha kunokudlala indima yokhuseleko ngokwasengqondweni kumaxhoba e-narcissistic manipulators:

• Ukugcina uhlobo oluthile lolawulo: Intukuthelo inokunika inkohliso yokuphinda ulawule imeko. Inokubonwa njengendlela “yobulungisa” bomntu ebusweni bokungahlawulisi okubonwayo kwe-narcissist.

• Ukukhuselwa kwintlungu yexesha elizayo: Inzondo inokusebenza njengomqobo weemvakalelo, igcine ubudlelwane obunokuba yingozi. Ingabonwa njengendlela “yokungazilibali” izifundo ezibuhlungu ezifundiweyo.

• Identity Preservation: Kwamanye amaxhoba, ingqumbo inokuba yinxalenye ebalulekileyo yesazisi sasemva kobudlelwane babo. Ingasebenza njengesikhumbuzo esithe gqolo semeko yabo “yesindi”, nokuba ithintela inkqubela yabo.

Intlalo yengqumbo

Ingqumbo phakathi kwabasetyhini amaxhoba e-narcissistic perverts ayipheleliselwanga kwinqanaba lomntu, kodwa inokuba neziphumo ezibalulekileyo ekuhlaleni:

1. I-Ukwahlukaniswa koluntu: Inzondo inokukhokelela ekuzihlukaniseni, ngenxa yokoyika ukuva ubuhlungu okanye ukungaqondwa kwakhona. Inokudala umqobo ongabonakaliyo phakathi kwexhoba kunye nabo babangqongileyo, kwanabo banobubele.
2. Ukungaqondi kwabo bakungqongileyo: Ubunzulu kunye nexesha lokucaphuka kunokuba nzima ukuba baqonde abo bakungqongileyo. Oku kusenokubangela ukungavisisani kubuhlobo nakulwalamano lwentsapho, kukhulise imvakalelo yokuziva ulikheswa.
3. Impembelelo kubomi bomsebenzi: Ukurhoxa kunokuchaphazela ugxininiso kunye nemveliso emsebenzini. Inokuba nefuthe elibi kwintsebenziswano yobuchwephesha, enokuthi ithintele inkqubela phambili yomsebenzi.

I-Bibliographic reference ngenzondo

• Nietzsche, F. (1887). I-Zur Genealogie der Moral (Umnombo wokuziphatha). Leipzig: C. G. Naumann.
• Scheler, M. (1912). I-Das Resentiment im Aufbau der Moralen (Ingqumbo ekwakhiweni kokuziphatha). IFrankfurt am Main: Klostermann.
• Meltzer, B. N., & Musolf, G. R. (2002). Ingqumbo kunye neNzondo. Uphando lwezeNtlalo, 72(2), 240-255.
• Fassin, D. (2013). KwiNzondo kunye neNzondo: iPolitiko kunye neNdlela yokuziphatha yeemvakalelo zokuziphatha. I-Anthropology yangoku, 54 (3), 249-267.
• Angenot, M. (1996). Iingcamango zengqumbo. EMontreal: XYZ umshicileli.
• Rey, J.-M. (2000). Ukucaphuka: ibali lothando. EParis: Iinguqulelo du Seuil.
• Ferro, M. (2007). Ingqumbo Kwimbali: Ukuqonda Amaxesha Ethu. EParis: Odile Jacob.

Ukuqukumbela

Ingqumbo yimvakalelo enzima kunye nenzulu enokuthi ibe nefuthe elingapheliyo kumava abasetyhini abaye basinda kubudlelwane kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator. Nangona kuyaqondakala, le mvakalelo ibambekayo inokuba neziphumo ezibalulekileyo kwimpilo yengqondo yamaxhoba, ubudlelwane, kunye nomgangatho wobomi bubonke.

Ukuqonda iingcambu, ukubonakaliswa kunye nefuthe lokucaphuka linyathelo elibalulekileyo kubasetyhini abafuna ukuzakha kwakhona emva kwamava anjalo. Ukuqonda umahluko phakathi komsindo ofanelekileyo kunye nengqumbo etshabalalisayo kunokuhlahl’ indlela yenkqubo yokuphilisa enempumelelo ngakumbi nokulawula kwakhona ubomi beemvakalelo zikabani.