Isenzeko sokubuya ngokweemvakalelo kubudlelwane obuyityhefu

“Imbuyekezo yeemvakalelo” yinto eqhelekileyo kubudlelwane obuyityhefu. Ikhona ngokukodwa kunye neqabane elikhohlisayo le-narcissistic. Le nkqubo ityhala ixhoba ukuba libuyele kumhlaseli walo nangona kukho ukubandezeleka. Isenokubonakala ingenakuqondwa ngaphandle. Nangona kunjalo, yinxalenye yobudlelwane obuthile obuguqukayo. Ukuqonda le miba kubalulekile ukubamba ukuntsonkotha kwezi meko.

Ubume bomjikelo wobudlelwane be-narcissistic

Ubudlelwane kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator ihlala ilandela ipateni ephindaphindiweyo. Lo mjikelo uyatshintshana phakathi kokunqweneleka, ukuhla kwexabiso kunye nokwaliwa. Oku kungazinzi kwe-emotional kuphazamisa ixhoba. Uzifumana esoloko efuna ukuthandwa nokuthandwa.

Izigaba zomjikelo wobudlelwane

1. Idealization: I-narcissist ibonakala inomtsalane kwaye inenkathalo.
2. Devaluation: Ukugxeka kunye nokukhohlisa kuyaqina.
3. Ukwala: I-narcissist iyarhoxa, idala isithuba seemvakalelo.
4. Return: Umjikelo uqala kwakhona ngezithembiso ezitsha.

Lo mzekelo ugcina ixhoba lixhomekeke ngokweemvakalelo. Kwenza ukuba ukubuya ngokweemvakalelo kwenzeke ngakumbi ngokuphindaphinda ngakunye.

Iindlela zengqondo zokubuya kwe-affective

Iindlela ezininzi zengqondo zichaza ukubuya kweemvakalelo. Ziye zidibanisene engqondweni yexhoba.

• Uncamathiselo olubuhlungu:

Ukuncamathela okubuhlungu kudala iqhina leemvakalelo elixabanisayo. Yenza phakathi kwexhoba kunye nomhlaseli wabo. Le nto ichaza ubunzima bokushiya ubudlelwane obuyityhefu. Ixhoba lihlala linamathele nangona liyibonile ingozi.

• I-ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo:

Ukukhohlisa rhoqo kubangela ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo. Izibonakalisa kwimfuno engenakuthintelwa kwabanye. Uloyiko lokulahlwa luyinto yonke. Ixhoba liyasokola ukucinga ubomi obuzimeleyo.

• Ithemba lotshintsho:

Ukubuya ngokweemvakalelo ngokufuthi kusekelwe kwithemba lokutshintsha. Izithembiso kunye namaxesha okuthantamisa ayalondla eli themba. Ngokuqhelekileyo ijika ibeyinkohliso kwixesha elide.

Izinto ezikhuthaza ukubuya ngokweemvakalelo

Izinto ezininzi zonyusa amathuba okubuya ngokweemvakalelo.

• L’ukuzehlisa isidima: Izihlaselo zomkhwezeli zisenza buthathaka ukuzithemba kweqabane lakhe. Oku buthathaka kwandisa ukuxhomekeka ekuvunyweni kwayo. Ixhoba ke lifuna ukuqinisekiswa, nasemva kokuhlukana.

• Ukwahlulwa kuluntu: Umntu osebenzisa i-narcissistic manipulator uhlala ebeka yedwa ixhoba lakhe. Oku kwahlula komeleza ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo. Kunzima ukuhlukana kokugqibela. Ixhoba lizifumana lingenankxaso yangaphandle.

• Uloyiko lokungaziwa: Ukushiya ubudlelwane obuyityhefu kunokoyikisa. Ikamva elingaqinisekanga liyoyikisa. Abanye abafazi ke bakhetha ukubuyela kwimeko eyaziwayo. Nokuba iyingozi.

Iziphumo zengqondo zokubuya ngokweemvakalelo

Ukubuya kweemvakalelo kuchaphazela impilo yengqondo neemvakalelo zamaxhoba.

1. Ukomelezwa kweepateni ezinetyhefu: Ingxelo nganye yomeleza iipatheni zobudlelwane obungasebenziyo. Ixhoba linxulumanisa uthando nokubandezeleka nokungazinzi. Oku kunokuchaphazela ubudlelwane bakhe bexesha elizayo.
2. Aggravation of post-traumatic stress: Emotional isiphithiphithi senza iimpawu zoxinzelelo lwasemva kokuphazamiseka. Ukuxhalaba, ukuphazamiseka kokulala kunye neeflashbacks ziqinisa. Umjikelo ngamnye wembuyekezo ukhulisa ezi ziphumo.
3. Identity Erosion: Ixhoba lihlala liziqhelanisa neemfuno ze-narcissist. Ngokuthe ngcembe uyayeka ukuzazi ukuba ungubani na. Oku kukhukuliseka kwesazisi kwenza kube nzima ukushiya ubudlelwane obuyityhefu.

Ikhonkco phakathi kokubuya ngokweemvakalelo kunye nokugqwetheka kwe-narcissistic

Imbuyekezo esebenzayo idityaniswe ngaphakathi kwi-narcissistic dynamics.

• Emotional manipulation: I-narcissistic manipulator iyagqwesa ku-emotional manipulation. Udlala ngobuthathaka beqabane lakhe. Ngaloo ndlela ugcina ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo. Oku kunceda imbuyekezo ezilandelelanayo.

• Ixesha lokuqiniswa: Imiboniso yothando ye-narcissist ayinakuqikelelwa. Oku kudala ipateni yokomeleza okwethutyana. Le ndlela yomeleza ukuncamathela kwexhoba. Yandisa amathuba okuba neembuyekezo ngokweemvakalelo.

• Ukukhanyela ubunyani: I-narcissist iyaphika okanye inciphisa ukuziphatha kwayo kakubi. Oku kugqwethwa kobunyani kuyaliphazamisa ixhoba. Uyazithandabuza iimbono zakhe. Uphinda acinge ngesigqibo sakhe sokulushiya ulwalamano.

Impembelelo yokubuya ngokweemvakalelo kwabo bakungqongileyo

Ukubuya kweemvakalelo kukwachaphazela abo basondeleyo kwixhoba.

• Ukuqonda kunye nokukhungatheka: Izihlobo aziyiqondi le ngxelo ephindaphindiweyo. Baziva benxunguphele. Le meko idala ukungavisisani. Ingakhokelela ekungavisisani.
• Ukudinwa kwenkxaso: Iqela elihambayo liyadinwa xa lijongene nemijikelo yokwahlulwa nokubuya. Oku kudinwa kunokomeleza ukuba likheswa kwexhoba. Inkxaso iyancipha ngokuthe ngcembe.
• Ukwenziwa kwesiqhelo okuzenzekelayo: Ngokuqwalasela ezi ngxelo, ezinye izalamane ziyenza imeko ibe yesiqhelo. Bayeka ukuthandabuza ubutyhefu bobudlelwane. Oku kunokuqinisekisa ixhoba ekukhetheni kwabo ukuhlala.

Indima yokwenzakala kwangaphambili

Amava adlulileyo aphembelela ukubuya kweemvakalelo.

1. Iipateni zentsapho: Diindlela zobudlelwane obungasebenziyo kwimeko yobuntwana kukhetho lwabantu abadala. Benza ukubuyela kubudlelwane obuyityhefu kunokwenzeka ngakumbi.
2. I-U-Amanxeba apholileyo: UnIntlungu esonjululweyo yenza buthathaka ukuzithemba. Bandisa ukuba sesichengeni kwi-narcissistic manipulation. Imbuyekezo esebenzayo iba yindlela yokuphinda-phinda.
3. Ukufuna Ukulungisa: Ixhoba linokuthi lingazi kakuhle lifune “ukulungisa” iintlungu ezidlulileyo. Ufaka eli themba kwiqabane le-narcissistic. Oku konga umjikelo wembuyekezo.

Imingeni yokwahlukana okusisigxina

Ukuqhawula kunye ne-manipulator ye-narcissistic kunika ubunzima obuthile.

• Emotional withdrawal syndrome: Breakup ibangela iimpawu ezifana nokurhoxiswa. Ixhoba liziva linqongophele. Oku kunokumshukumisela ekubeni abuyele ngokweemvakalelo.
• Ukwakhiwa ngokutsha kwesazisi: Emva kobudlelwane be-narcissistic, ixhoba kufuneka lichaze ngokutsha ubuni babo. Yinkqubo ende kwaye inzima. Kufuna umonde nenkxaso.
• Ukulawula ubutyala: I-narcissist ihlala idala ukuziva unetyala kwixhoba layo. Eli tyala liyaqhubeka nasemva kokwahlukana. Inokukhuthaza imbuyekezo ngokweemvakalelo.

Iimbekiselo zebhayibhilografi malunga nokubuya kweemvakalelo

1. Cyrulnik, B. (2004). Amantshontsho amadada amabi. Odile Jacob.
2. Delage, M. (2008). Ukomelela kosapho. Odile Jacob.
3. Lemaire, J.-G. (2005). Uthando, isibini kunye noxolelwaniso. Intlawulo.
4. Neuburger, R. (2003). Izibini ezitsha: umnqweno wokuqalisa kwakhona. Intlawulo.

Le misebenzi ijongana nemiba eyahlukeneyo yokubuya ngokweemvakalelo, ukomelela kubudlelwane, kunye nokwakhiwa kwakhona kwamabhondi emva kokuqhekeka okanye ixesha elinzima.

Ukuqukumbela

Ukuqukumbela, ukubuya ngokweemvakalelo kuyinto entsonkothileyo. Iyinxalenye yetyhefu yobudlelwane be-narcissistic. Ukuqonda iinkqubo zayo kubalulekile ukuze uzikhulule kuyo. Indlela eya ekuchacheni inokuba nde. Kodwa ukuqonda linyathelo lokuqala elikhokelela kubomi obuphilileyo beemvakalelo.