Indlela yokuqonda kunye nokuchasana netyala lokukhubeka kwe-narcissistic manipulator?

I-Call-tripping, okanye i-culpabilisation ngesiFrentshi, yi-emotional manipulation iqhinga elisetyenziswa rhoqo ngabaqhatha benarcissistic ukugcina ulawulo kumaqabane abo. Njengomfazi olixhoba lokuziphatha okunjalo, kubalulekile ukukwazi ukuchonga kunye nokujongana nayo. Eli nqaku liza kukunceda uqonde kangcono le nto kwaye uzikhusele kuyo.

Yintoni ukukhubeka kwetyala kwaye ungayibona njani?

Ukukhubeka unetyala kubandakanya ukwenza omnye umntu azive enetyala ngendlela egqithisileyo nengafanelekanga. Kubudlelwane kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator, oku kunokuthatha iindlela ezahlukeneyo:

• Ukukutyhola ngokuzingca okanye ukungabi naluvelwano ukuba uvakalisa iimfuno zakho
• Ukusole ngokungamthandi ngokwaneleyo xa engayifumani le ayifunayo
• Ukwenza uzive unoxanduva lokungonwabi okanye ukusilela kwabo
• Yenza umdlalo ngokugqithisileyo iziphumo zezenzo zakho kuye
• Ukutyhola ngokumlahla ukuba uzama ukuzihlukanisa

Injongo kukugcina ukwimeko yetyala elisisigxina ukuze uzilawule ngcono. Funda ukubona la maqhinga ukuze ungaphinde uwele emgibeni.

Iindlela ezixhaphakileyo zokubeka ityala

I-narcissistic manipulator ihlala isebenzisa iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokukhohlisa iqabane lakhe:

• The victimization:

I-narcissistic manipulator izibonakalisa njengexhoba lezenzo zakho, ibaxa ukubandezeleka onokuthi umbangele. “Ungayenza njani lento kum emva kwayo yonke into endikwenzele yona?” sisivakalisi esiqhelekileyo.

• UUthelekiso oluncomekayo:

Uthelekisa ukuziphatha kwakho nokwabanye abantu ukuze akwenze uzive ungafaneleki. “Iqabane lokwenene alinakuze liyenze loo nto” okanye “Jonga indlela acinga ngayo uZibani-bani nomfazi wakhe.”

• Emotionalmail:

Ugrogrisa ngokurhoxisa uthando okanye inkxaso yakhe ukuba awunikezeli kwiimfuno zakhe. “Ukuba ubundithanda ngenene, ubuya kundenzela le nto.”

• Call kwiiBonds:

Ucela imisebenzi okanye uxanduva lwakho ukwenza uzive unetyala. “Umama/umfazi olungileyo kufuneka…”

• Isikhumbuzo esihlala sihleli “ngamatyala”:

Usoloko ekukhumbuza ngezinto akwenzele zona ngaphambili, ngokungathi umtyala okuthile.

Zeziphi izizathu zokukhubeka kobutyala?

Ukuba netyala luhlobo lokulawula iimvakalelo. Ezona zizathu ziphambili zezi:

1. Ulawulo: Ukusebenzisa ubutyala ukuphembelela indlela yokuziphatha yabanye.
2. Ukungazithembi: Umntu oziva enetyala usenokungazithembi.
3. Ukunqongophala konxibelelwano: Ukungakwazi ukuvakalisa iimfuno zomntu ngendlela ephilileyo.
4. Ukufunda: Indlela yokuziphatha efundwe ebuntwaneni okanye ngokusingqongileyo.
5. Ukuphepha uxanduva: Ukugxeka abanye.
6. Isidingo sokuhoywa: Ukutsala ingqalelo ngokwenza amaxhoba.
7. Narcissism: Ukungakwazi ukuqwalasela iimvakalelo zabanye.
8. Ixhala: Ukuzama ukulawula iimeko ngokuziva unetyala.
9. Imiba engasonjululwanga: Ukusebenzisa ityala ukuvakalisa izikhalazo zangaphambili.
10. Ukukhohlisa: Fumana into oyifunayo ngokudlala ngeemvakalelo.

Imiphumo emibi yokuziva unetyala kukuzixabisa

Ukuhlala utyholwa kunokuba neziphumo ezibi ngokwasengqondweni:

• Ukuphulukana nokuzithemba kwakho kunye nesigwebo sakho
• Imvakalelo esisigxina yokungabi nakulunga ngokwaneleyo
• Ixhala kunye nokudakumba
• Ubunzima bokuqinisekisa iimfuno kunye nemida yomntu
• Ukungazazisi ngokugoba kwiimfuno zabanye

Ukuzazi ezi ziphumo ziyingozi kubalulekile ekugcineni impilo yakho yengqondo.

Indlela yokusabela kwityala-lokukhubeka kwe-manipulator ye-narcissistic?

Nanga amanye amacebiso okuphendula ngokufanelekileyo kuhambo lobutyala:

• Funda ukuchonga iimvakalelo zakho

Inyathelo lokuqala kukuqonda xa uziva unetyala. Thatha inyathelo umva kwaye uzibuze ukuba ngaba eli tyala liyathetheleleka ngokwenyani okanye sisiphumo sobuqhophololo.

• Qinisekisa amalungelo akho kunye nemida

Khumbula ukuba uvumelekile ukuba ube neemfuno zakho, izimvo kunye nemida. Musa ukuvumela abanye ukuba babenze bangabi namsebenzi ngenxa yokuba netyala.

• Yala ukudlala umdlalo wokuthethelela

Okukhona uzithethelela, kokukhona uya kuwugcina umjikelo wokuba netyala. Funda ukuthi hayi ngaphandle kokuziva ngathi kufuneka uzichaze.

• Buyisela uxanduva kwabanye

Xa ujongene nesityholo esingenabulungisa, unganqikazi ukudlulisa i-buck: “Ndiyaqonda ukuba uphoxekile, kodwa kukusabela kwakho kuwe.”

• Use ukucinga kwakho okunzulu

Hlalutya imeko ngendlela ecacileyo. Ngaba izigxeko ezenziwe kuwe zisekelwe ngokwenene? Ngaba ziyangqinelana nobunyani bezibakala?

Amabinzana aza kusetyenziswa ukuchasa uxanduva

Nantsi eminye imizekelo yeempendulo eziqinisekisayo kwiinzame zokugxeka:

• “Ndiyaqonda ukuba ukhathazekile, kodwa andinaxanduva ngeemvakalelo zakho.”
• “Ndinelungelo lokuba nezam iimfuno kunye nemida.”
• “Andicingi ukuba ndifanele ukugxekwa. Indlela endiziphethe ngayo yayifanelekile.”
• Ndiyala ukuziva ndinetyala ngento endingayenzanga.
• “Ulonwabo lwakho aluxhomekeke kum kuphela.”

Ungalibazisi ukuziqhelanisa kwaye uzisebenzise ukuzikhusela.

Ukubaluleka kokuqinisa ukuzithemba kwakho

Ukuxhathisa ngokufanelekileyo ukubekwa ityala, kubalulekile ukuba usebenze ekuzithembeni kwakho:

• Funda ukuzixabisa nokuqonda iimpawu zakho
• Zingqonge ngabantu abakhathalayo nabakuxhasayo
• Zibekele iinjongo zakho kwaye ubhiyozele impumelelo yakho
• Ziqhelise ukuba novelwano kunokuba uzigxeke
• Ziphathe ngamaxesha olonwabo kunye nokuphumla

Okukhona ukuzithemba kwakho kunamandla, kokukhona uya kuba semngciphekweni wokukhohlisa.

Nini kwaye njani ukuphelisa ubudlelwane obuyityhefu?

Ukuba, ngaphandle kwemizamo yakho, i-narcissistic manipulator iyaqhubeka nokuziphatha kwayo, kunokuba yimfuneko ukuba ucinge ngokwahlukana:

• Lungiselela ukuhamba kwakho ngasese ukuze uphephe impindezelo
• Qinisekisa ukuba unenkxaso yeemvakalelo (abahlobo, usapho, umnyangi)
• Luqhawule lonke unxibelelwano emva kokwahlula ukuthintela iinzame zokukhohlisa
• Zisebenzele ukupholisa amanxeba asemphefumlweni

Khumbula ukuba kufuneka ube nobudlelwane obunempilo nobanelisayo.

Izibonelelo ukuya phambili

Ukuze ufunde ngakumbi ngalo mbandela kwaye ufumane uncedo:

• Qhagamshelana nesayikholojisti ejongene nobudlelwane obuyityhefu
• Joyina amaqela axhasayo amaxhoba e-narcissistic manipulators
• Funda iincwadi ezithetha ngokukhohlisa kunye nokuzithemba
• Landela iiakhawunti ze-Instagram okanye iziteshi ze-YouTube ezinikezelwe kule mixholo

Ungalibazisi ukusebenzisa zonke izixhobo onazo ukuze uzakhe kwakhona.

Ukuqukumbela

Ukuqukumbela, ukubekwa ityala luhlobo lwe-obundlobongela obungokwengqondo apho kufuneka sizikhusele khona ngokupheleleyo. Ngokufunda ukuyiqonda uze ujamelane nayo, uya kukwazi ukubulawula kwakhona ubomi bakho neemvakalelo zakho. Khumbula ukuba awunaxanduva lolonwabo okanye ukungonwabi kwabanye, kwaye unelungelo lokuphila ngokukhululekileyo nokwanelisayo. Ubutyala akufuneki buphinde bube ngumthwalo wakho, kodwa bube yinto ekhokelela kwinkululeko yakho.