I-Trauma Bonding kunye ne-Narcissistic Manipulator

I-trauma bonding yinto enzima yengqondo, ehlala ibonwa kubudlelwane kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator. Ukuba uziva uvaleleke kubudlelwane be-toxic ongenakukwazi ukuphuma kuyo, eli nqaku lelakho. Masifumanise kunye ukuba yintoni i-trauma bonding kunye nendlela yokuzikhulula kuyo.

Yintoni edityaniswe ngomonzakalo kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator?

Iqhina lokwenzakala liqhina eliqinileyo ngokweemvakalelo elenziwa nomntu osiphatha kakubi. Kumxholo wobudlelwane kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator, olu nxibelelwano luba namandla ngakumbi kwaye kube nzima ukuqhawula.

Lo mcimbi ubonakaliswa ngu:

• Ukutshintshana phakathi kwamaxesha olonwabo olukhulu kunye nokubandezeleka
• Ubunzima bokushiya ubudlelwane nangona ulwazi malunga nokuxhatshazwa
• Ukuthetheleleka rhoqo kokuziphatha komnye
• Imvakalelo yokuba likhoboka lobudlelwane

Iimpawu zoxhulumaniso lokwenzakala kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator

Nazi ezinye iimpawu ze-trauma bonding:

• A ubudlelwane obuqala nge-bang: Ii-manipulators ze-Narcissistic zigqwesa kubugcisa be-“love bombing“. Ekuqaleni kobudlelwane, uziva ugxininiswe ingqalelo kunye nothando. Esi sigaba sidala iqhina eliqilima ngokweemvakalelo, nto leyo eyenza ukuba okuseleyo kube nzima kakhulu ukulawula.
• Umjikelo we-infernal: i-devaluation, ukuhla, ukugatywa: Emva kwesigaba sokwenza okulungileyo kuza eso sokunciphisa ixabiso. I-narcissistic manipulator iyatshintshana phakathi kwamaxesha apho ikubeka kwi-pedestal kunye nabanye apho ihlala ikubeka phantsi. Lo mjikelo udala ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo.
• Ukuthetheleleka rhoqo kwezenzo zakhe: Uzifumana uzithethelela ngokuziphatha kwakhe kakubi. “Wayenobuntwaneni obunzima”, “Akakwenzi ngenjongo”, ngamabinzana odla ngokuphindaphinda kuwe.
• Ukwahlukaniswa okuqhubekekayo: Umxhasi we-narcissistic uhlala efuna ukukwahlukanisa nabo basondeleyo kuwe, ngaloo ndlela womeleza ukuxhomekeka kwakho kuye.

Kutheni i-Trauma Bonding inamandla kangaka?

Ukubambana ngokwenzakala yinto entsonkothileyo egcina abasetyhini abaninzi benobudlelwane obuyityhefu kunye nee-manipulators ze-narcissistic. Ukuqonda iindlela zayo kubalulekile ukuze uzikhulule kuyo. Makhe sijonge iinkalo ezintathu eziphambili ezichaza amandla ayo:

I-parallel kunye noomatshini be-slot

I-trauma bonding isebenza ngokufana nomatshini we-psychological slot. Kubudlelwane kunye ne-manipulator ye-narcissistic, amaxesha olonwabo kunye nothando alunqabile kwaye aluqikeleleki, ludala umphumo wokuqinisa ukuphumla. Njengomntu ongcakazayo ohlala enethemba lejackpot, uyazingisa kubudlelwane, ulinde loo mizuzu mifutshane yokuqinisekiswa okanye yothando.

Iingcambu ebuntwaneni

Kwabasetyhini abaninzi, ukuhlangana komothuko kuphinda kusebenze iipateni zobudlelwane ezigxininiswe ngokunzulu ukusukela ebuntwaneni. Le yi-childhood trauma. Ukuba ukhulele kwindawo engazinzanga okanye nabazali abangathembekanga ngokweemvakalelo, kusenokwenzeka ukuba uphinda-phinda ezi ntshukumo xa umdala. I-narcissistic manipulator ngokungaqondi isebenzisa obu buthathaka, iqinisa umjikelo wokubanjwa kokwenzakala.

Inkohliso yolawulo

I-trauma bonding igcina inkohliso yokuba unokutshintsha imeko okanye umntu onama-narcissistic. Le nkolelo, ingakumbi inkani phakathi kwabasetyhini abanethuku elomeleleyo lomama okanye utyekelo lokunyamekela abanye, ikugcina kumjikelezo wethemba kunye nokuphoxeka. Utyala amandla amaninzi kubudlelwane, ucinga ukuba “unganyanga” okanye “ukugcina” iqabane lakho le-narcissistic.

Ngokuziqonda ezi ndlela, uthatha inyathelo lokuqala ekwaphuleni umjikelo wonxunguphalo kunye nokulawula kwakhona ubomi bakho beemvakalelo.

Iziphumo zonxunguphalo kwimpilo

Imiphumo yempilo yobudlelwane bokwenzakala inokuba yingozi kakhulu kwaye ichaphazele iinkalo ezininzi zobomi bexhoba:

1. Impilo yengqondo

• Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD): Amaxhoba onxunguphalo lokwenzakala anokuphuhlisa iimpawu zePTSD, kubandakanywa umva, ukuxhalaba okukhulu, amaphupha amabi, kunye noxinzelelo olukhulu.
• Uxinzelelo kunye nokuxhalaba: Uloyiko, ukuhlazeka kunye nokungabi nathemba zixhaphakile, kunye nokuhlaselwa kwexhala. Imijikelo yethemba nokuphoxeka kulwalamano idla ngokuqinisa ezi mvakalelo.
• Ukuziva wedwa kunye nokulahleka kwesazisi: Ixhoba lisenokuziva linqanyuliwe kwabanye kunye nakubo, nto leyo eyenza kube nzima ukuzakha kwakhona.

2. Impilo yomzimba

• Chronic fatigue: Uxinzelelo lwarhoqo lubangela ukudinwa okugqithisileyo, ukuphuthelwa kunye nobunzima bokuchacha, nokuba uphumle.
• Amajoni omzimba abuthathaka: Ukuxinezeleka okungapheliyo kunokuwenza buthathaka amajoni omzimba, okonyusa ubungozi bosulelo kunye nezifo.
• Intlungu yemisipha kunye noxinzelelo: Iintlungu ezingapheliyo, ngokukodwa emva, intamo kunye namagxa, ziqhelekile phakathi kwamaxhoba oxinzelelo olude.
• Ingxaki zesisu: Iimpawu ezinjengesicaphucaphu, iintlungu zesisu kunye neengxaki zokugaya zinokudityaniswa noxinzelelo.

3. Iziphumo zokuziphatha kunye nobomi bentlalo

• Iziyobisi kunye nokuziphatha okuzitshabalalisayo: Ukulawula intlungu yeemvakalelo, amanye amaxhoba asenokubhenela etywaleni, kwiziyobisi okanye ekuziphatheni okuyingozi.
• Ubunzima bokuzibandakanya kubudlelwane obunempilo: Ukudibanisa i-trauma kushiya iziphumo emva kokukwazi ukuthembela kunye nokuseka ubudlelwane obuzinzile kunye nokulinganisela.
• Ukwenza ikheswa ekuhlaleni: Amaxhoba anokuzikhetha ngenxa yokoyika isigwebo, ihlazo, okanye ngenxa yokuqhathwa ngumxhaphazi wawo.

4. Iziphumo zengqondo

• Ukudideka kunye nokungabikho kogxininiso: Ukukhwabanisa rhoqo kunye nokuchasana kubudlelwane kubangela ukudideka kunye nobunzima bokugxila.
• Ukuzithemba okuphantsi: Ukuzigxeka, ukuzithoba kunye nokungazithembi kuqiniswa kukuxhatshazwa, okwenza buthathaka ukuzithemba.

5. Ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo kunye nobunzima bokuqhawula ibhondi

• I-Paradoxical attachment: Imijikelo yokuxhatshazwa kunye “nemivuzo” yenza ukuba i-detachment ibe nzima, kuba ixhoba liziva lixhomekeke ngokweemvakalelo.
• Iimvakalelo zokungabi nakuzinceda okufundiweyo: Emva kokuzama ngokungaphumeleli ukuziqhawula izihlandlo eziliqela, amaxhoba anokuphelelwa lithemba lokulushiya ulwalamano, nto leyo eyomeleza iqhina lokwenzakala.

Imiphumo yonxunguphalo yonxunguphalo inzulu kwaye inokuqhubeka ixesha elide emva kokuphela kobudlelwane.

Ireferensi yebhayibhili malunga “nobudlelwane bomothuko kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator”

Nazi iimbekiselo ezisixhenxe zebhayibhilografi kumxholo othi “I-Trauma Bonding kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator”:

1. Hirigoyen, Marie-France. Le harcèlement moral : la violence perverse au quotidien. Paris : Éditions La Découverte, 1998.
2. Ziégler, Anne-Clotilde. Pourquoi suis-je resté.e ? Le lien traumatique au pervers narcissique : comprendre pour se reconstruire. Paris : Solar Éditions, 2023.
3. Racamier, Paul-Claude. Les perversions narcissiques. Paris : Presses Universitaires de France, 1992.
4. Cyrulnik, Boris. De chair et d’âme. Paris : Odile Jacob, 2006.
5. Ferenczi, Sándor. Confusion de langues entre les adultes et l’enfant. Paris : Payot, 1982.
6. Anzieu, Didier. Le Moi-peau. Paris : Dunod, 1995.
7. Collectif sous la direction de Coutanceau, Roland. Trauma et résilience – Victimes et auteurs. Paris : Dunod, 2012.

Le misebenzi ibonelela ngokuqonda okunzulu kweendlela zokunxibelelana nomonzakalo kunye nobudlelwane kunye nabenzi be-narcissistic manipulators.

Ukuqukumbela: Inkululeko inokwenzeka

Iqhina lokwenzakala liqhina elinamandla, kodwa elingenakonakala. Ngomonde, inkxaso kunye nokusebenza ngokwakho, kunokwenzeka ngokupheleleyo ukuba Qovercome trauma bonding. Khumbula: ufanelwe ubudlelwane obuphilileyo, obunelisayo. Musa ukoyika ukuthatha inyathelo lokuqala elikhokelela kwinkululeko yakho yeemvakalelo.