I-Trauma Bonding kanye ne-Narcissistic Pervert

Ukubophana ngokwengqondo okubuhlungu kuyisenzakalo esiyinkimbinkimbi sengqondo, esivame ukubonwa ebudlelwaneni nomuntu ohlukumezayo ozithanda ngokweqile. Uma uzizwa uvaleleke ku- ubuhlobo obunobuthi Uma ubhekene nobunzima bokugqashula ekuboshweni ngenxa yokulimala, lesi sihloko singesakho. Ake sihlole ndawonye ukuthi kuyini ukubopha ngenxa yokulimala nokuthi singakunqoba kanjani.

Kuyini ukuhlukumezeka okuhlangana nomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic?

Isibopho sokuhlukumezeka siyisibopho esingokomzwelo esiqinile esakhiwa nomuntu osiphatha kabi. Kumongo wobudlelwano nomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic, lesi sibopho siba sikhulu kakhulu futhi kube nzima ukugqashuka.

Lesi simo sibonakala ngokuthi:

• Ukushintshashintsha phakathi kwezikhathi zenjabulo enkulu nokuhlupheka
• Ubunzima bokushiya ubudlelwano naphezu kokuqaphela ukuhlukunyezwa
• Ukuziphendulela njalo kokuziphatha komunye
• Umuzwa wokuba umlutha ebudlelwaneni

Izimpawu zokuhlukumezeka ezixhumene nomuntu oyi-narcissistic pervert

Nazi ezinye zezimpawu zokubopha ukuhlukumezeka:

• Ubudlelwano obuqala nge-bang: Abantu abaphambene nabazithandayo bayazigqaja ngobuciko bokuthi ” thanda amabhomu“Ekuqaleni kobudlelwano, uzizwa ugcwele ukunakwa nothando. Lesi sigaba sakha isibopho esiqinile ngokomzwelo, okwenza okulandelayo kube nzima kakhulu ukukuphatha.”
• Umjikelezo we-infernal: I-idealization, ukwehla kwenani, ukwenqaba: Ngemuva kwesigaba se-devaluation kuza leso sokwehlisa inani. I-narcissistic pervert ishintshana phakathi kwezikhathi lapho ekubeka khona phezu kwe-pedestal nezinye lapho ehlala ekubeka phansi. Lo mjikelezo udala ukuncika ngokomzwelo.
• Ukuthethelelwa njalo kwezenzo zakhe: Uzithola wenza izaba ngokuziphatha kwakhe okuhlukumezayo. “Wayekhula kanzima,” “Akakwenzi ngamabomu,” yimishwana ovame ukuyiphindaphinda kuwe.
• Ukuhlukaniswa okuqhubekayo: I-narcissistic pervert ivame ukufuna ukukuhlukanisa nalabo abasondelene nawe, ngaleyo ndlela iqinise ukuncika kwakho kuye.

Kungani i-Trauma Bonding inamandla kangaka?

Ukuhlanganiswa kwe-trauma kuyinto eyinkimbinkimbi egcina abesifazane abaningi besebudlelwaneni obunobuthi nama-narcissistic perverts. Ukuqonda izindlela zayo kubalulekile ukuze uzikhulule kukho. Ake sibheke izici ezintathu ezibalulekile ezichaza amandla ayo:

I parallel nge slot machines

I-trauma bonding isebenza ngokufanayo nomshini wokugembula ngokwengqondo. Ebudlelwaneni nomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic, izikhathi zenjabulo nothando ziyivelakancane futhi azibikezeleki, kudala umphumela oqinisayo wokuphumula. Njengomgembuli ohlale enethemba le-jackpot, uyaphikelela ebudlelwaneni, ulinde lezo zikhathi ezimfushane zokuqinisekiswa noma zothando.

Izimpande ebuntwaneni

Kwabesifazane abaningi, isibopho sokuhlukumezeka kuvuselela amaphethini obudlelwane agxilile kusukela ebuntwaneni. Lena yi- ukuhlukumezeka kwasebuntwaneni. Uma ukhulele endaweni engazinzile noma enabazali abangathembekile ngokomzwelo, kungenzeka ukuthi uphinda lezi zimo lapho usumdala. I-narcissistic pervert ngokungazi, ixhaphaza lobu bungozi, iqinisa umjikelezo wokubopha ukuhlukumezeka.

Inkohliso yokulawula

I-trauma bonding igcina inkohliso yokuthi ungashintsha isimo noma umuntu one-narcissistic. Le nkolelo, ephikelelayo ikakhulukazi kwabesifazane abanomzwelo oqinile wokubeletha noma ukuthambekela kokunakekela abanye, ikugcina kumjikelezo wethemba nokudumala. Utshala amandla engeziwe ebudlelwaneni, ucabanga ukuthi “ungalapha” noma “ukusindisa” umlingani wakho othanda ukubhuqa.

Ngokuqonda lezi zindlela, uthatha isinyathelo sokuqala sokunqamula umjikelezo wokubopha ukuhlukumezeka kanye nokulawula impilo yakho yomzwelo.

Imithelela yokuhlanganiswa kokuhlukumezeka empilweni

Imiphumela yezempilo ye-trauma bonding ingaba mibi kakhulu futhi ithinte izici ezimbalwa zempilo yesisulu:

1. Impilo yengqondo

• Ukuphazamiseka kwe ukucindezeleka kwangemva kokuhlukumezeka (PTSD) : Izisulu zokuboshwa ngenxa yokuhlukumezeka zingase zibe nezimpawu ze-PTSD, okuhlanganisa ukukhumbula emuva, ukukhathazeka okukhulu, amaphupho amabi, kanye nokuqapha ngokweqile.
• Ukudangala nokukhathazeka : Ukwesaba, amahloni nokuphelelwa ithemba kuvamile, kanye nokuhlaselwa kokukhathazeka. Imijikelezo yethemba nokudumazeka ebudlelwaneni ivame ukuqinisa le mizwa.
• Umuzwa wokuhlukaniswa nokulahlekelwa ukuzazi : Isisulu singase sizizwe sinqanyuliwe kwabanye kanye nakuso, okwenza ukwakha kabusha komuntu kube nzima.

2. Impilo engokomzimba

• Ukukhathala okungapheliyo : Ukucindezeleka okuqhubekayo kubangela ukukhathala okukhulu, ukuqwasha kanye nobunzima bokululama, ngisho nokuphumula.
• Amasosha omzimba abuthakathaka : Ukucindezeleka okungamahlalakhona kungenza buthaka izivikeli mzimba, kwandise ubungozi bokutheleleka nezifo.
• Ubuhlungu bemisipha nokuqina : Ubuhlungu obungapheli, ikakhulukazi ngemuva, intamo nasemahlombe, kuvamile phakathi kwezisulu zokucindezeleka isikhathi eside.
• Izinkinga zamathumbu : Izimpawu ezinjengokucanuzela kwenhliziyo, ubuhlungu besisu kanye nezinkinga zokugaya ukudla zingahlotshaniswa nokucindezeleka.

3. Imithelela ekuziphatheni nasekuphileni komphakathi

• Imilutha kanye nokuziphatha okuzilimazayo : Ukuze ulawule ubuhlungu obungokomzwelo, ezinye izisulu zingase ziphendukele ophuzweni oludakayo, izidakamizwa noma ukuziphatha okuyingozi.
• Ubunzima bokuzibandakanya ebudlelwaneni obunempilo : Isibopho sokuhlukumezeka sishiya imiphumela yangemuva kwekhono lokuthembana nokusungula ubudlelwano obuzinzile nobulinganiselayo.
• Ukuzihlukanisa emphakathini : Izisulu zingase zizihlukanise ngenxa yokwesaba ukwahlulelwa, amahloni, noma ngenxa yobuqili bomhlukumezi wazo.

4. Imiphumela yengqondo

• Ukudideka nokuntuleka kokugxilisa ingqondo : Ukukhohlisa njalo nokungqubuzana ebudlelwaneni kubangela ukudideka kanye nobunzima bokugxila.
• Yehlisa ukuzethemba : Ukuzigxeka, ukwehlisa izinga kanye nokungabaza kuqiniswa ukuhlukunyezwa, okwenza kube buthakathaka ukuzethemba.

5. Ukuncika ngokomzwelo nobunzima bokunqamula isibopho

• Okunamathiselwe okuyindida : Imijikelezo yokuhlukumeza kanye “nemivuzo” yenza ukuhlukana kube nzima ngoba isisulu sizizwa sincike emoyeni.
• Umuzwa wokungabi namandla okufunda : Ngemva kokuzama ukugqashula izikhathi eziningana ngaphandle kwempumelelo, izisulu zingase zilahlekelwe ithemba lokushiya ubuhlobo, okuqinisa isibopho sokuhlukumezeka.

Imithelela yokuxhumana ngokuhlukumezeka ishubile futhi ingaqhubeka isikhathi eside ngemva kokuphela kobudlelwano.

Ireferensi yebhayibheli mayelana “nokubambisana okuhlukumezekile kanye ne-narcissistic pervert”

Nazi izikhombo zebhayibhili eziyisikhombisa endikimbeni ethi “Trauma Bonding and Narcissistic Perversion”:

1. Hirigoyen, Marie-France. Ukuhlukunyezwa kokuziphatha: ubudlova obuhlanekezelwe nsuku zonke. I-Paris: I-Editions La Découverte, 1998.
2. Ziégler, Anne-Clotilde. Ngihlaleleni? Isixhumanisi esidabukisayo esiphendukezela i-narcissistic: ukuqonda ukuze uzakhe kabusha. I-Paris: I-Solar Éditions, 2023.
3. Racamier, uPaul-Claude. Ukuguqulwa kweNarcissistic. I-Paris: Presses Universitaires de France, 1992.
4. Cyrulnik, Boris. Okwenyama nomphefumulo. EParis: Odile Jacob, 2006.
5. Ferenczi, Sandor. Ukudideka kolimi phakathi kwabantu abadala nengane. Paris: Payot, 1982.
6. Anzieu, Didier. Isikhumba uqobo. EParis: Dunod, 1995.
7. Ihlanganiswe ngaphansi kokuqondisa kwe-Coutanceau, Roland. Ukuhlukumezeka nokuqina – Izisulu kanye nabenzi bobubi. EParis: Dunod, 2012.

Le misebenzi inikeza ukuqonda okujulile kwezinqubo zokubopha ukuhlukumezeka kanye nobudlelwano nabahlanekezeli be-narcissistic.

Isiphetho: Inkululeko ingenzeka

Isibopho sokuhlukumezeka siyisibopho esinamandla, kodwa esingabhubhi. Ngokubekezela, ukusekela nokusebenza ngokwakho, kungenzeka ngokuphelele ukunqoba ukuhlangana kwe-trauma. Khumbula: ufanelwe ubudlelwano obunempilo nokwanelisayo. Ungesabi ukuthatha isinyathelo sokuqala esiholela enkululekweni yakho yomzwelo.