I-Empath Versus the Narcissistic Manipulator: Ibali langoku

Yintoni i-Empath?

Uvelwano ngumntu onovelwano olukhulu ngokweemvakalelo. Uyakwazi ukuziva ngokunzulu nokuqonda iimvakalelo zabanye. Ii-Empaths zihlala zi:

• Ingqalelo kakhulu kwiimfuno zabanye
• Uyakwazi ukuxolela ngokulula
• Soloko ukulungele ukunika ithuba lesibini
• Unesiphiwo sokubona okona kulungileyo kwabanye

Ezi mpawu, nangona zincomeka, maxa wambi zinokubenza babe sesichengeni sobuntu obuthile. Ii-Empaths zihlala zisokola ukuseka imida ephilileyo kubudlelwane babo. Basenokuba notyekelo lokufunxa iimvakalelo ezingakhiyo zabanye, nto leyo enokubadinisa ekuhambeni kwexesha.

I-narcissistic manipulator: Ixhoba leemvakalelo

I-manipulator ye-narcissistic, kwelinye icala, ibonakaliswe ngu:

• Isidingo esiqhubekayo sokuhoywa kunye nokuncoma
• Ukungabi naluvelwano kwabanye
• Utyekelo lokukhohlisa kunye nokuxhaphaza abanye
• Ukutshintsha kwemo engalindelekanga

Abaqhubi beNarcissistic bahlala benomdla kakhulu kwaye bedlala ngothando ekuqaleni kobudlelwane. Bagqwesa ekuboneni abantu abasesichengeni kwaye babatsalele kwiwebhu yabo yokukhohlisa.

Intlanganiso yamashwa

Xa uvelwano ludibana ne-manipulator ye-narcissistic, idla ngokuba sisiqalo se-XQ uthando olunetyhefu. Uvelwano, kunye nendalo yabo yothando kunye nesisa, ngokwemvelo itsaleleka kwi-charisma ecacileyo ye-narcissist. Ubona okunokwenzeka kuye ekungekho mntu ubonwayo. Le ntshukumo idala ukungalingani ukusuka ekuqaleni kobudlelwane, apho uvelwano luhlala lufuna “ukugcina” okanye “ukulungisa” i-narcissist. Ngelishwa, le ndlela yomeleza kuphela ukuziphatha okunetyhefu kwe-narcissistic manipulator.

Iimpawu ezilumkisayo

Kubalulekile ukuqaphela iimpawu ezilumkiso zobudlelwane kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator:

• Ukuncoma ngokugqithiseleyo ekuqaleni kobudlelwane
• Isidingo esiqhubekayo sokuba sisazulu sokuqwalaselwa
• Umsindo ongafanelekanga
• Utyekelo lokugxeka abanye ngeempazamo zakho

Kukwaqhelekile ukuba umntu osebenzisa i-narcissistic manipulator enze i-gaslighting, uhlobo lokuguqulwa kwengqondo olujoliswe ekwenzeni ixhoba lithandabuze imbono yalo yokwenyani. Ukongeza, banokutshintshana phakathi kwamaxesha othando olukhulu kunye nokulahlwa okukhohlakeleyo, indlela eyaziwa ngokuba “kushushu nokubanda” okanye “love bombing.”

Impembelelo kuvelwano

Ekuhambeni kwexesha, uvelwano lunokuzifumana lukwimeko apho:

• Utyeshela impilo yakho nokuba sempilweni
• Uzahlula kubahlobo nakusapho
• Ulahlekelwa yintembelo kwisiqu sakhe
• Uziva elindile rhoqo

Impembelelo yobudlelwane obunjalo inokutshabalalisa ukuzithemba kovelwano. Usenokuba neempawu zokuxhalaba, ukudakumba, okanye uxinezeleko lwasemva kokwenzakala. Ukuchacha kubudlelwane obunjalo kunokuthatha ixesha kwaye kufuna inkxaso yobuchwephesha.

Inkqubo yokuphilisa

Ukuphilisa emva kobudlelwane kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator luhambo lomntu siqu oluthatha ixesha kunye nomonde. Nanga amanye amanyathelo abalulekileyo kule nkqubo:

1. Zamkele iimvakalelo zakho: Kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuziva unomsindo, ulusizi, okanye ubhidekile.
2. Zazi kwakhona: Fumana kwakhona izinto ozifunayo kunye neemfuno zakho.
3. Hlaziya ubudlelwane obunempilo: Xhumana kwakhona nabahlobo abaxhasayo kunye nosapho.
4. Ziqhelise ukuqaphela: Oku kunokukunceda uhlale usekelwe ngoku.
5. Bhiyozela inkqubela yakho: Onke amanyathelo amancinci axhomekeke kuhambo lwakho lokuphilisa.

Ukuphinda ubukhe ubomi bakho emva koko kusenokubonakala kulucelomngeni, kodwa khumbula ukuba unamandla angaphakathi okoyisa le ngxaki uze uphume womelele.

Iimbekiselo zeBibliographic kwi-empath ejongene ne-narcissistic manipulator

Nazi izingqinisiso ezisixhenxe zebhayibhilografi ngesiFrentshi, ngakumbi ezenzululwazi, kumxholo othi “Imfesane ejongene ne-narcissistic manipulator”:

1. “Perversions narcissiques” par Anne Legraverand, publié dans Le Journal des psychologues, 2012/9 n° 302, pages 68 à 72.
2. “L’empathie et ses dérives” par Michèle Van Lysebeth-Ledent, publié dans la Revue française de psychanalyse, 2004/3, pages 963 à 980.
3. “La perversion narcissique”, numéro thématique de la Revue française de psychanalyse, 2003/3, volume 67.
4. “Ukusuka ‘kumama ogwenxa’ ukuya ‘kumfazi okhohlakeleyo okhohlakeleyo'” nguMarc Joly noCorentin Roquebert, efumaneka kwi-HAL.
5. “Iimpawu zokuguqulwa kwe-narcissistic” ngu-S. Ben Saadi et al., efumaneka kwi-HAL.
6. “La perversion narcissique, un concept en évolution” par Alberto Eiguer, publié dans L’information psychiatrique, 2008/3, pages 193 à 199.
7. I- “I-Pathological narcissism kunye novelwano: imeko yangoku yolwazi kunye nokufunda indima yezoyikiso ekuboniseni okukhulu ngovelwano” nguPascal Simard, ithisisi yobugqirha, iYunivesithi yaseSherbrooke, ngo-2023.

Ezi zingqinisiso zibonelela ngembono enzulu malunga nentsebenziswano phakathi kwabantu abanovelwano kunye nabantu ababonakalisa iimpawu ezigqwethekileyo ze-narcissistic.

Isiphelo: Gcina uvelwano lwakho ngelixa uzikhusela

Uvelwano sisipho esixabisekileyo esingamele sisetyenziswe kakubi. Ngokufunda ukuzikhusela ngelixa ugcina ubuntu bakho onovelwano, unokudala ubudlelwane obunempilo nobanelisayo.

Khumbula: ufanelwe ubudlelwane obusekelwe kwintlonipho kunye nokulinganisela ngokweemvakalelo. Musa ukoyika ukucela uncedo kwaye ubeke phambili impilo-ntle yakho. Uvelwano lwakho ngamandla akho, kungekhona ubuthathaka bakho. Ngokuphuhlisa izakhono zokuqinisekisa kunye nokuseka imida enempilo, ungasebenzisa uvelwano lwakho ngeendlela ezilungileyo ngelixa uzikhusela kubudlelwane obuyityhefu.

👇 Ukuya phambili:

• Yintoni i-Scapegoating? Ukusebenza ebusweni be-Narcissistic Pervert
• Indlela yokubona kunye nokujongana ne-manipulator ye-narcissistic emsebenzini?
• Ulwimi lweemvakalelo: Ukuzikhulula kuzo ebusweni bobugqwirha be-narcissistic