Ulwimi lweemvakalelo: Ukuzikhulula kwi-narcissistic manipulator

Njengowasetyhini ixhoba le-narcissistic pervert , ukuqonda ulwimi lweemvakalelo kubalulekile kwimpiliso yakho kunye nokukhula. Eli nqaku liza kukukhokela kubuqhetseba bonxibelelwano lweemvakalelo kubudlelwane obuyityhefu kwaye likunike izixhobo zokuphinda ulawule ubomi bakho beemvakalelo.

Yintoni imvakalelo?

Uvakalelo yimpendulo entsonkothileyo yengqondo kunye neyomzimba kwisivuseleli okanye imeko. Nanga amanye amanqaku aphambili okuqonda ukuba yintoni imvakalelo:

1. Psychological reaction: Simo sengqondo esibandakanya iimvakalelo ezithile, iingcinga, kunye nokuziphatha.
2. Icandelo lePhysiological: Iimvakalelo zihlala zikhatshwa ziintshukumo zomzimba ezifana notshintsho kwisantya sentliziyo, ukuphefumla okanye ukubonakala kobuso.
3. Trigger: Iimvakalelo zidla ngokubangelwa sisiganeko sangaphandle okanye ingcinga yangaphakathi.
4. Umsebenzi oguqukayo: Badlala indima ebalulekileyo ekusindeni kwethu kunye nokunxibelelana kwezentlalo, ukusinceda ukuba siphendule ngokukhawuleza kwiimeko.
5. Ukwahluka: Kukho iimvakalelo ezininzi ezahlukeneyo, ezinjengovuyo, usizi, umsindo, uloyiko, ukumangaliswa, ukuzonya, njl.
6. Ubungakanani obuguquguqukayo: Iimvakalelo zinokusuka kwimvakalelo ethambileyo ukuya kwisenzo esinamandla.
7. Ixesha eliqingqiweyo: Ngokungafaniyo neemoods, iimvakalelo zihlala zihlala ixesha elifutshane.
8. Impembelelo kwindlela yokuziphatha: Banokukhuthaza izenzo zethu kwaye baphembelele izigqibo zethu.

Ukuchonga ulwimi lweemvakalelo zomcuphi we-narcissistic

I-manipulative narcissist isebenzisa ulwimi oluthile lweemvakalelo, oluhlala lusekwe kubuchule kunye nolawulo. Kubalulekile ukwazi ukuba ungayibona njani ukuze uzikhusele kuyo:

• Unxibelelwano olukhohlisayo olungelulo olwamazwi: Umgibi we-narcissistic unokusebenzisa izijekulo ezibonisa uthando okanye izimbo zobuso ezifudumeleyo ukufihla iinjongo zakhe zokwenene.
• Amagama amnandi amnandi: Unokuthetha amazwi othando ngelixa ekujongela phantsi ngobuchule.
• Izithulo zokuthula: Ukunqongophala konxibelelwano kunokusetyenziswa njengesixhobo sokukumisa uzinzo.
• Umsindo ongalinganiyo: Oku kugqabhuka kuhlala kunceda ukukoyikisa kwaye kukwenza uthandabuze.
• False Uxolo: Unokucela uxolo ngokungazenzisiyo, ukuze nje ahlale ekubambe.

Ziqonde iimvakalelo zakho xa ujongene ne-narcissistic manipulator

Kubudlelwane kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator, iimvakalelo zakho zinokuchaphazeleka kakhulu. Nazi ezinye iimpawu onokuzijonga:

• Ukubhideka ngokweemvakalelo: Awusayazi into oyiva ngokwenene.
• Ityala elisisigxina: Uziva unoxanduva kuzo zonke iingxaki kubudlelwane.
• Ukoyika ukulahlwa: Uhlala usoyika ukuba iqabane lakho liya kukushiya.
• Umsindo ocinezelekileyo: Awunabuganga bokuvakalisa ukukhathazeka kwakho ngenxa yokoyika iziphumo.
• UUsizi oluchaziweyo: Uziva unxunguphele ngaphandle kwesizathu esicacileyo.

Ukufunda ukuchonga ezi mvakalelo linyathelo lokuqala lokuphilisa.

Ubuchwephesha bokukhohlisa ngokweemvakalelo kwi-narcissistic manipulator

I-narcissistic manipulator isebenzisa iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokulawula iimvakalelo zakho:

1. The gaslighting: Icela umngeni indlela ozibona ngayo izinto eziyinyani, ikwenza uthandabuze iimvakalelo zakho.
2. Uthando lwebhombu: Ukongamela ngothando ekuqaleni kobudlelwane ukuze akulawule ngcono kamva.
3. Uqikelelo: Ukutyhola ngeziphoso zakhe okanye ukuziphatha kakubi.
4. The emotional blackmail: Ugrogrisa ngokukushiya okanye uzenzakalise ukuba akunikezeli kwiimfuno zakhe.
5. Triangulation: Yazisa umntu wesithathu kubudlelwane ukuze avuse umona kunye nokungakhuseleki kwakho.

Ukuqonda obu buchule kuya kukuvumela ukuba uzikhusele ngcono.

Ukubaluleka kobukrelekrele beemvakalelo ukuze uzakhe kwakhona

Ukuphuhlisa ubukrelekrele bakho ngokweemvakalelo kubalulekile ekwakhiweni kwakho kwakhona emva kobudlelwane nomntu okhohlisayo we-narcissistic:

1. Ukuzazi: Funda ukuqaphela nokuqonda iimvakalelo zakho.
2. Ukuzilawula: Fumana iindlela eziphilileyo zokulawula iimvakalelo ezinzulu.
3. Ukhuthazo: Sebenzisa iimvakalelo zakho njengamandla okuqhuba ukufezekisa iinjongo zakho.
4. Empathy: Phuhlisa isakhono sakho sokuqonda iimvakalelo zabanye ngaphandle kokuphazamiseka.
5. Izakhono zoLuntu: Phucula ukukwazi kwakho ukunxibelelana nokusebenzisana nabanye ngendlela eyakhayo.

Misela imida ephilileyo yeemvakalelo

Ukuzikhusela kwixa elizayo, kubalulekile ukuseka imida ecacileyo yeemvakalelo:

• Funda ukuthi hayi: Yala izicelo ezikwenza ungakhululeki.
• Hlonipha imida yakho: Ungalibazisi ukuzisusa kwimeko ekukhathazayo ngokweemvakalelo.
• Nxibelelana ngeemfuno zakho: Cacisa ngokucacileyo into oyifunayo kubudlelwane.
• Themba intuition yakho: Ukuba kukho into engabonakali ilungile, mamela amathumbu akho.
• Thatha ixesha lakho:Ziphe amaxesha okuba wedwa ukuze utshaje kwakhona iibhetri zakho.

Indima yonyango ekuphiliseni ngokweemvakalelo

Unyango lunokudlala indima ebalulekileyo kwinkqubo yakho yokuphilisa ngokweemvakalelo:

1. Unyango lwe-Cognitive-behavioral: Inokukunceda ukuba uchonge kwaye utshintshe iipatheni zokucinga ezingalunganga.
2. EMDR : Obu buchule bunokuba luncedo ekunyangeni ukwenzakala ngokweemvakalelo.
3. Group unyango: Ukwabelana namanye amaxhoba kunokukunceda uzive ungedwa.
4. Art unyango: Ukuvakalisa iimvakalelo zakho ngobugcisa kunokukhulula.
5. Mindfulness: Ukuqiqa kunokukunceda ukuba ulawule ngcono iimvakalelo zakho yonke imihla.

Zive ukhululekile ukuhlola iindlela ezahlukeneyo ukuze ufumane eyona ikusebenzela ngcono.

Ukusingise kubudlelwane obutsha obunempilo: ukunxibelelana neemvakalelo zakho ngokufanelekileyo

Xa ulungele ukuqwalasela ubudlelwane obutsha, Nazi ezinye iindlela zokunxibelelana neemvakalelo zakho ngokufanelekileyo:

1. Thembeka: Musa ukoyika ukuchaza iimvakalelo zakho zokwenyani.
2. Hlala uzolile: Nasebudeni beengxoxo ezinzima, zama ukuhlala upholile.
3. Mamela ngokukhutheleyo: Nika ingqalelo kwiimvakalelo zeqabane lakho.
4. Ziphephe izityholo:Gxila kwiimvakalelo zakho kunezenzo zomnye umntu.
5. Vula ukuba ulalanise: Khangela izisombululo ezisebenza kuwo omabini amaqela.

Ireferensi yebhayibhili malunga “nolwimi lweemvakalelo”

Nazi iimbekiselo ezisixhenxe zebhayibhili kumxholo othi “ulwimi lweemvakalelo”:

1. Rosenberg, M. (2003). Les mots sont des fenêtres (ou bien ce sont des murs). Éditions de l’homme.
2. Scherer, K. R. (2005). Les émotions et leur expression. In Psychologie des émotions (pp. 123-138). Presses universitaires de France.
3. Goleman, D. (1996). L’intelligence émotionnelle. Éditions Robert Laffont.
4. Gélinas, M. (2010). Le langage des émotions : entre mots et silences. Revue internationale de psychosociologie, 16(3), 89-106.
5. Panchout, M. (2017). Émotions et communication : une approche pragmatique. Éditions L’Harmattan.
6. Damasio, A. R. (2003). L’erreur de Descartes : La raison des émotions. Éditions Odile Jacob.
7. Scherer, K. R., & Ellgring, H. (2007). Facial expressions of emotion. In Emotion in the Human Face (pp. 267-295). Cambridge University Press.

Ukuqukumbela

Ukuqukumbela, ukuqonda kunye nokulawula ulwimi lweemvakalelo yinkqubo ende kodwa iyimfuneko yokuzakha kwakhona emva kobudlelwane kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator. Yiba nomonde kuwe, bhiyozela inkqubela nganye, kwaye ukhumbule ukuba ufanelwe ubudlelwane obunempilo, obunelisayo. Ngexesha kunye nokuziqhelanisa, uya kufunda ukunxibelelana neemvakalelo zakho ngokunyanisekileyo kwaye wakhe ubudlelwane obusekwe kwintlonipho kunye nokuqondana ngokweemvakalelo.