Isiporho: Isixhobo soMqhathi weNarcissistic

Ukuphefumla, okanye ukuthulisa unomathotholo ngequbuliso, yindlela exhaphakileyo yokukhohlisa, ngakumbi esetyenziswa ngabazenzi benarcissistic. Nangona le ndlela yokuziphatha ingeyonto intsha, ukuqheleka kwayo kuyanda, ngakumbi ngenxa yokunyanzeliswa kobudlelwane be-intanethi apho iziphumo zentlalo zincinci.

Umoya yinto eqhelekileyo kakhulu kubudlelwane bothando kwixesha ledijithali. Ngobusuku obunye, iqabane lakho linokugqiba ekubeni luphelise ubudlelwane ngaphandle kokuzikhathaza ngokuchaza okanye likwazise kwaye linyamalale. Ujongene nolu donga lokuthula kunye nokungaqwalaseli, kubalulekile ukwazi ukuba yeyiphi indlela yokuziphatha omawuyithathe kunye nendlela yokubuyisela kwisiporho. 

Yintoni i-Ghosting?

Kuthetha ukuthini ukuhlamba umntu? Yintoni isiporho esithambileyo? Nokuba kukugqwidiza kubuhlobo okanye kukugqwidiza eluthandweni, umgaqo uhlala ufana: unyamalale ngobusuku nje njengesiporho, kungoko igama le-Anglo-Saxon elithi “ghost” elithetha “isiporho”.

Ngokwenene, ukugqwesa kwisayikholoji yimeko ebuhlungu efunyanwa yi ixhoba emva kokuba isiporho simkile. Iqabane lakho liqhawula lonke unxibelelwano nawe ngokungalindelekanga, lidala kuwe uhlobo oluthile ubundlobongela ngokwasengqondweni kunye nobudlelwane.

Kutheni sisiporho nje?

Ukuba usazibuza kutheni indoda isiporho? Ewe, nazi phakathi kwezinye izizathu ezithethelela esi simo sengqondo:

• Cowardice: kuba uligwala kakhulu, uyoyika ukudibana kwaye akafuni ukuba nencoko yokwahlukana nawe.
• Avoidant attachment: ngenxa yokuba akazinzanga ngokweemvakalelo kwaye unengxaki yokusondelana. Ukhetha ukukuphepha kwaye ashiye ubudlelwane obusondeleyo.
• Ukuzithemba ngokuphantsi : kuba unentloni xa ufumanisa ukuba ungubani kanye kanye, kunye nokugxekwa okunokuthi kulandele, unokugqiba ukunyamalala ngaphandle kokuthetha.
• Narcissistic manipulation : kuba narcissistic pervert kwaye uyakuvuyela ukukukhohlisa, ukwanelisa iminqweno yakhe yesini kunye ne-ego yakhe. Uyinkosi yomdlalo kwaye uyakuvumela ukuba uthobe nangaliphi na ixesha ngaphandle kwengcaciso ebambekayo.
• Depression: Ukuqhekeka kwesiporho ngamanye amaxesha kuyeyona ndlela ibalaseleyo yokufihla imeko yakho yonxunguphalo kwaye, ngaphezu kwayo yonke, into oyifumanayo mihla le. Isenokuba yimeko ecinezelayo, isigulo esibi okanye ukuphelelwa ngumsebenzi.
• Ukuseta imida : Ukuba umntu ukwenza uzive ungonwabanga, akabuhloneli ubumfihlo bakho, okanye unento encamathelayo enxungupheleyo, ukuphefumla kuba yindlela yokubeka imida.
• Ukuzikhusela : ukugqwirha eluthandweni kunika ukhuseleko oluthile, ngakumbi xa uneqabane elinobundlobongela, elinochuku okanye elithukayo. Isigidimi somoya siba yindlela yokuzikhusela.

Yintoni ukwenzakala okanye iziphumo xa singasenazo iindaba ezivela kuMporho?

I-Ghosting ithathwa njengobundlobongela obunxulumene nomphefumlo. Sisenzo nje sokushiya umntu ngequbuliso ngaphandle kokunika iindaba ngawe. Iziphumo zesi senzo zininzi.

Iingcinga ezibambekayo

Ukuphefumla umfazi okanye indoda inokwenzeka nakubani na, kodwa ikwenza ube neengcinga ezigqithisileyo kunye nokuziphatha. Ngokomzekelo, ixhoba linokuthi lijonge kwifowuni yalo ngethemba lokufumana umyalezo ovela kwisiporho. Esi simo sengqondo sinokuba yinto ethe kratya kwixhoba eliya kuthanda ukuhlala lincanyathiselwe kwifowuni yalo, libonisane ngokungakhathali iprofayile yabo kaFacebook, Instagram okanye iTweeter. Esi sesinye seziphumo eziphambili zomothuko wokugqwidiza ngokugxininisa ekuziphatheni okunyanzelekileyo.

Ukuxhalaba

Olunye uphononongo lubonakalise ukuba uxinzelelo kunye nokuxhalaba kuye kwakha emntwini osisiporho ngenxa yesidingo sengcaciso kunye nokungabikho kokungachazwayo kwesiporho. Yiyo loo nto, xa umntu osisiporho enengcinga ecacileyo okanye, umzekelo, ebona ifoto yeqabane lakhe elithandanayo (isiporho), oku ngokuzenzekelayo kusebenze ummandla wobuchopho kwaye bave iintlungu zomzimba ezibenza bazive ngathi basezintlungwini.

Umntu osisiporho akasenalo uxolo lwengqondo kwaye uyazibuza ngokuzibuza iwaka elinanye. Ukuziva unetyala kuya kuqala, nto leyo eyityhefu ngakumbi. Ubutyala buyawohloka umoya kwaye bucuthe ngokubonakalayo izixhobo zoxinzelelo. Oku kunokukhokelela ekulahlekelweni sisidima okanye ukuzithemba.

Ungasabela njani kwi-Ghosting?

1. Nika isiporho ixesha elisikiweyo : Thumela umyalezo wesilumkiso kwisiporho ufuna impendulo ngexesha elibekiweyo. Oku kukuthintela ukuba ulinde.
2. Ccut all contact: emva kweli xesha, cima lonke unxibelelwano kunye nesiporho, eli linqanaba lokuthula kwerediyo.
3. Lahla zonke iinkumbulo: Coca ubomi bakho kwaye ulahle yonke into ekubophelelayo okanye ekwenza ucinge ngesiporho.
4. Thetha nabo bakungqongileyo: vulela abantu obathembileyo kwaye wabelane ngeentlungu zakho. Thetha malunga nokwahlukana kube kanye kunye nabo bakungqongileyo kwaye uqhubeke.
5. Ukomeleza usapho kunye noqhakamshelwano lobuhlobo: imalunga nokuvuselela ubudlelwane obuzalisekisa ngakumbi nabo bakungqongileyo ukuze wenze inkqubo ephilileyo nelungeleleneyo yothando.

Yintoni injongo yokuGhosting?

THE isiporho angalandela iinjongo eziliqela ngokuxhomekeke ukuba ngaba isiporho yobungcali, isiporho kwi ukuthandana sites, ghosting on Tinder, etc. Umgaqo ghosting uhlala efanayo, eshiya umntu okanye umsebenzi ngaphandle kokunika nayiphi na ingcaciso, ngaphandle kwesilumkiso. Izizathu zesi senzo zininzi kwaye wonke umntu uhamba ngaso ngokweyakhe.

Ngaba isiporho sibuye?

Ewe, isiporho singabuya xa singenaye omnye umntu esandleni. Ngamanye amaxesha uyabuya eze kufuna kuwe into ebengayifumani komnye umntu. Nangona kunjalo, hlala uzolile kwaye ungathabatheki ngokukhawuleza. Olu hlobo lokuziphatha luxhaphakile phakathi kwabantu abadlala ngeemvakalelo neentliziyo zabanye abantu ngobugwala.

Ufumaneka njani kwakhona kwi-Ghosting eluthandweni?

1. Yaphula ngokuzahlula
2. Hlaziya ubudlelwane nabo bakungqongileyo
3. Fumana ukuzithemba kwakhona
4. Yenza izinto ezikwenza wonwabe
5. Bhala ileta yokwahlukana ukuze ubaleke umvandedwa wetyala kunye nokukhanyela (akukho mfuneko yokuthumela le leta kwisiporho)

Ungaziphindezela njani kwi-Ghoster?

Akukhuthazwa ngokungqongqo ukuba ubandakanyeke kwi-ghostbusting ukuze uziphindezelele kwisiporho. I-Ghostbusting inokukhawuleza ibe yingozi, ibe yingozi kwaye ingabikho mpilweni kumntu obandakanyeka kuyo. Eyona ndlela ilungileyo yokuziphindezela kwisiporho kukuqhawula lonke unxibelelwano nale manipulator kwaye ulawule ubomi bakho.

Yintoni isiporho?

Isiporho kukunyamalala ngesiquphe ngaphandle kwengcaciso. Kumxholo wobudlelwane kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator, la ngamaxesha apho umntu eqhawula lonke uqhagamshelwano, rhoqo ngaphandle kwesilumkiso. Oku kungabikho kunokuhlala kwiintsuku ezimbalwa ukuya kwiinyanga ezininzi, okanye nangaphezulu. Ukuphefumla luhlobo lokurhoxa ngokweemvakalelo olunokuba yingozi kakhulu kwixhoba.

Kutheni i-narcissistic manipulator isenza isiporho?

• Ukulawula umthambo

Ukuphefumla yindlela yokuba i-narcissist ekhohlisayo igcine ulawulo lobudlelwane. Ngokunyamalala, udala ukungalingani ngokweemvakalelo kwiqabane lakhe kwaye agcine amandla.

• Uvavanye umlutha

La maxesha e-silence avumela umxhasi we-narcissistic ukuba ahlole ubungakanani bendlela iqabane lakhe elinamathele ngayo kwaye lixhomekeke kuye. Yindlela “yokuthatha ubushushu” bobudlelwane.

• Yohlwaya kwaye uziphindezele

I-Ghosting ingasetyenziswa njengesohlwayo xa umbhexeshi we-narcissistic ekholelwa ukuba iqabane lakhe alihlangabezani nokulindela okanye liphikisana naye. Luhlobo lweemvakalelo “zekona”.

• Kulumkele ukungquzulana

Ngamanye amaxesha i-ghosting isetyenziswa njengeqhinga lokuphepha. I-narcissistic manipulator inokubona iqabane lakhe “njengelingalawulekiyo” kwaye likhethe ukunyamalala kunokuba lijongane nemeko enokuthi ingqubane.

Iziphumo zokugqwidiza ngumqhubi we-narcissistic kwixhoba

• Ukungazinzi ngokweemvakalelo

Ukuthula ngokukhawuleza kudla ngokubangela ukuxhalaba, ukudideka kunye nemibuzo kwixhoba. Luhlobo lokulahlwa ngokweemvakalelo olunokuba buhlungu ngokunzulu.

• Ukuqiniswa kokuxhomekeka

Okumangalisayo kukuba, oku kungabikho kunokomeleza ukudibanisa kwexhoba, eliziva linqongophala kakhulu kwaye linokuthi lixakeke ngokubuya kweqabane.

• Ukuphulukana nokuzithemba

Ejongene noku kunyamalala okuphindaphindiweyo, ixhoba lisenokungakwazi ukuzithemba lize lizive linoxanduva ngemeko leyo. Unokuqala ukuthandabuza ukubaluleka kwakhe kunye nokukwazi kwakhe ukugcina ubudlelwane.

• Ukufuna intsingiselo:

Ngaphandle kwengcaciso, ixhoba lidla ngokushiywa kwisaqhwithi semibuzo ebuhlungu kunye neengcinga, zinqwenela ukuqonda oko kwenzekayo.

Usabela njani kwisiporho?

• Thatha inyathelo umva

Sebenzisa la maxesha ukucinga malunga nobudlelwane bakho kunye nento oyifunayo ngokwenene. Eli lithuba lokufumana ingcaciso ngemeko yakho. Gcina ijenali ukurekhoda iingcinga zakho kunye noqapheleyo; oku kunokukunceda ukuba uqonde iinkalo zobudlelwane onokuthi uzibethe ngoyaba.

• Ungaqhagamshelani naye

Wuxhathise umnqweno wokuqhagamshelana naye. Oku kuya komeleza amandla akhe phezu kwakho kwaye kuqinisekise iqhinga lakhe lokukhohlisa. Ngalo lonke ixesha uziva ufuna ukuqhagamshelana naye, zikhumbuze ukuba yile nto kanye ayifunayo kuwe. Fumana iindlela zokuziphazamisa, njengokufowunela umhlobo wakho okanye ukwenza umsebenzi owuthandayo, ukuze udlule kula maxesha anzima.

• Gxila kuwe

Sebenzisa eli xesha ukuze uzikhathalele, uqhagamshelane kwakhona nezinto ozithandayo kunye nabo ubathandayo. Eli lithuba lokuphinda uqhagamshelane nawe. Tyala kwimpilo-ntle yakho yomzimba nengqondo, nokuba kungomthambo, ukucamngca, okanye ukusukela usukelo olutsha lobuqu.

• Funa uncedo

Ungalibazisi ukudibana nomntu oqeqeshiweyo okanye uzibandakanye neqela lenkxaso ukuze likuncede udlule kolu vavanyo. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba ujongane nale nto uwedwa. Ugqirha unokukunceda ukuphuhlisa izicwangciso zokulawula iimvakalelo zakho kunye nokwakha ukuzithemba kwakho.

Qaphela ipateni eyityhefu yesiporho

Ukuphindwa kwesiporho luphawu olucacileyo lobudlelwane obuyityhefu. Kubalulekile ukuqaphela le pateni kwaye uqonde ukuba ayiyi kutshintsha ekuhambeni kwexesha. Kukuziphatha okungasebenziyo okutyhila ukungakwazi kwe-narcissistic manipulator ukugcina ubudlelwane obunempilo nobuqolileyo. Okukhona uyazi ezi patheni, kokukhona uya kukwazi ukuzibona ngokukhawuleza kwixesha elizayo kwaye uzikhusele kuzo.

Umoya osingise kwinkululeko

Nangona kubuhlungu, ukuphefumla kungabonwa njengethuba lokusuka kubudlelwane obunobungozi. Eli lithuba lokuba uphinde ulawule ubomi bakho kwaye uzikhulule kwimpembelelo ye-narcissistic manipulator. Khumbula ukuba kufuneka ubudlelwane obusekelwe kwintlonipho kunye nonxibelelwano oluvulekileyo. Umoya awusoze waba yindlela eyamkelekileyo yokuphatha iqabane, nokuba zithini na iimeko.

Ukuphilisa kunye nokuKhula komntu

Healing ukusuka ekubeni nesiporho kunokuthatha ixesha. Kubalulekile ukusebenzela ukuzithemba kwakho kwaye ucele umngeni kwiinkolelo ezingalunganga ezinokuveliswa ngala mava. Khumbula ukuba indlela yokuziphatha ye-narcissistic manipulator ibonisa iingxaki zabo kunye nokungaqiniseki, kungekhona ukubaluleka kwakho njengomntu. Sebenzisa la mava njengethuba lokukhula kwakho kunye nokuchaza okulindelweyo kubudlelwane.

Ukuqukumbela, ighosting yindlela enamandla yokukhohlisa esetyenziswa zii-narcissistic manipulators. Ngokuqonda iindlela zayo kunye neziphumo, unokuzikhusela ngcono kwaye uqale umendo wakho wokuphilisa kunye nokukhula komntu. Khumbula ukuba unamandla okoyisa le ngxaki kwaye wakhe ubudlelwane obunempilo kwixesha elizayo. Ukuxabiseka kwakho akuxhomekekanga kwindlela abanye abakuphatha ngayo, kodwa kwindlela oziphethe ngayo.