I-Ghosting: Isikhali Se-Narcissistic Pervert

I-Ghosting, noma ukuthula okungazelelwe komsakazo, kuyindlela evamile yokukhohlisa, ikakhulukazi esetshenziswa abahlanekezeli be-narcissistic. Yize lokhu kuziphatha kungekusha, ukujwayela kwakho kuyanda, ikakhulukazi ngenxa yokugcwala kobudlelwano be-inthanethi lapho imiphumela yomphakathi imincane.

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Isipoki kuwumkhuba ovame kakhulu ebudlelwaneni bothando enkathini yedijithali. Ngokuphazima kweso, umlingani wakho angase anqume ukubuqeda ubuhlobo ngaphandle kokuzihlupha ngokuchaza noma ngisho nokukwazisa futhi anyamalale. Njengoba sibhekene nalolu donga lokuthula kanye nokungacabangeli, kubalulekile ukwazi ukuthi iyiphi indlela yokuziphatha okufanele uyithathe kanye nendlela yokululama ekubanjweni kwesipoki. 

Yini i-Ghosting?

Kuyini ukukhohlisa umuntu? Kuyini isipoki esithambile? Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kuwumoya ebunganeni noma othandweni, umgomo uhlala unjalo: ukunyamalala ngokuphazima kweso njengesipoki, yingakho igama lama-Anglo-Saxon elithi “ghost” elisho “isipoki”.

Ngempela, i-ghosting in psychology yisimo esibuhlungu esitholwa yi- isisulu Ngemva kokuba isipoki sesihambile, umlingani wakho unqamula konke ukuxhumana nawe ngokungalindelekile, okudala uhlobo… ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo kanye nobudlelwano.

Kungani siba nesipoki?

Uma usazibuza ukuthi kungani indoda iyisipoki? Nokho, nazi phakathi kwezinye izizathu ezithethelela lesi simo sengqondo:

• Ubugwala : ngoba uyigwala impela, usaba ukuxabana futhi akafuni ukuba nengxoxo yokuhlukana nawe.
• Gwema okunamathiselwe : ingoba akazinzile emoyeni futhi unezinkinga zokuthandana. Ukhetha ukukugwema futhi ashiye ubuhlobo obuseduze.
• Ukuzenyeza : ngoba unamahloni okuthi uzitholele ukuthi ungubani ngempela, nokugxekwa okungase kulandele, angase anqume ukunyamalala engashongo lutho.
• Ukukhohlisa kwe-Narcissistic : ngoba yena i-narcissistic pervert futhi uyakujabulela ukukukhohlisa, ukwanelisa izifiso zakhe zobulili kanye nobugovu bakhe. Ungumpetha womdlalo futhi ukwehlisa noma kunini ngaphandle kwencazelo ezwakalayo.
• Ukucindezeleka : isipoki sokuhlukana kwesinye isikhathi kuyindlela enhle kakhulu yokufihla isimo sakho sokucindezeleka futhi, ngaphezu kwakho konke, lokho obhekana nakho ngempela nsuku zonke. Kungaba isimo esicindezelayo, ukugula okubi noma ukulahlekelwa umsebenzi.
• Beka imikhawulo : uma othile ekwenza ungakhululeki, engahloniphi ubumfihlo bakho, noma esesikhundleni okunamathiselwe kokukhathazekaUkuzidla kuba yindlela yokubeka imingcele.
• Ukuzivikela : isipoki othandweni kunikeza ukuvikeleka okuthile, ikakhulukazi uma unomlingani onodlame, onobudlova noma othukayo. Umlayezo oyisipoki uba yindlela yokuzivikela.

Ikuphi Ukuhlukumezeka Noma Imiphumela Lapho Singasenazo Izindaba Ezivela Ku-Ghoster?

I-Ghosting kuthathwa njengodlame oluhlobene nolwemizwa. Kumane kuyisenzo sokushiya othile engazelele ngaphandle kokunikeza noma yiziphi izindaba ngawe. Imiphumela yalesi senzo miningi.

Imicabango eqaphile

Ukungenwa umoya kowesifazane noma owesilisa kungenzeka kunoma ubani, kodwa kukwenza ube nemicabango nokuziphatha okuxakile. Isibonelo, isisulu singase sibheke ocingweni lwaso ngethemba lokuthola umlayezo ovela kusipoki. Lesi simo sengqondo singaba yinto ekhathazayo kulowo ohlukunyezwayo ovame ukuhlala enamathele ocingweni lwakhe, ngokungakhathali axhumane nephrofayela yakhe ye-Facebook, Instagram noma ye-Tweeter. Lona omunye wemiphumela eyinhloko yokuhlukumezeka kwesipoki ngokugcizelela ekuziphatheni okuyimpoqo.

Ukukhathazeka

Olunye ucwaningo luye lwafakazela ukuthi ukucindezeleka nokukhathazeka kwakha kumuntu oyisipoki ngenxa yesidingo sencazelo kanye nokungabi bikho kwesipoki ngendlela engaqondakali. Kungakho, lapho umuntu oyisipoki enomcabango ocacile noma, ngokwesibonelo, ebona isithombe somlingani wakhe othandana naye (isipoki), lokhu kuvula ngokuzenzakalelayo indawo ethile yobuchopho futhi ezwe ubuhlungu bomzimba obumenza azizwe sengathi usezinhlungwini. .

Umuntu oyisipoki akasenakho ukuthula futhi uzibuza imibuzo eyinkulungwane namunye. Umuzwa wecala ube usuqala ukungena, okuyinto eyingozi kakhulu. Umuzwa wecala uwohloka isimo sengqondo futhi unciphise kakhulu izinsiza zokuthuthumela. Lokhu kungaholela ekulahlekelweni ukuzethemba noma ukuzethemba.

Ungasabela kanjani ku-Ghosting?

1. Nikeza isipoki umnqamulajuqu : thumela umlayezo oyisixwayiso kusipoki ufuna impendulo phakathi nesikhathi esithile. Lokhu kukuvimbela ukuthi ulinde.
2. Sika bonke othintana nabo : emva kwalesi sikhathi, kunqanyulwe konke ukuxhumana nesipoki, lesi yisiteji sokuthula komsakazo.
3. Lahla zonke izinkumbulo : hlanza impilo yakho ukhiphe konke okukubophayo noma okukwenza ucabange isipoki.
4. Xoxa nalabo abaseduze nawe : vula isifuba kubantu obathembayo futhi wabelane ngobuhlungu bakho. Khuluma ngalokhu kuhlukana kube kanye nalabo abaseduze kwakho bese uqhubekela phambili.
5. Qinisa ukuxhumana komndeni nabangane : imayelana nokuvuselela ukuxhumana okwanelisayo nalabo abaseduze kwakho ukuze udale i-ecosystem yezothando enempilo futhi elinganiselayo.

Iyini inhloso ye-Ghosting?

Le ghosting ingaphishekela imigomo eminingana kuya ngokuthi ngabe i-ghosting yobungcweti, i-ghosting kumasayithi okuphola, i-ghosting ku-Tinder, njll. Isimiso sokungenwa yizipoki sihlala sinjalo, sishiya umuntu noma umsebenzi ngaphandle kokunikeza incazelo, ngaphandle kwesixwayiso. Izizathu zalesi senzo ziningi futhi wonke umuntu uhamba ngaso ngokweyakhe.

Ingabe Isipoki Singabuya?

Yebo, isipoki singabuya uma singenaye omunye umuntu esandleni. Kwesinye isikhathi uyabuya ezolanda kuwe abengakwazanga ukukuthola komunye umuntu. Nokho, hlala uzolile futhi ungathatheki ngokushesha. Lolu hlobo lokuziphatha luvamile phakathi kwabantu abadlala ngemizwa nezinhliziyo zabanye abantu ngobugwala.

Ungayithola Kanjani I-Ghosting Othandweni?

1. Hlukana ngokuzihlukanisa
2. Vuselela ubudlelwano bokuxhumana nabantu abaseduze kwakho
3. Buyisa ukuzethemba
4. Yenza izinto ezikwenza ujabule
5. Bhala incwadi yokwehlukana ukuze ubalekele ukuvunguza kwecala nokuphika (asikho isidingo sokuthumela le ncwadi ku-ghost)

Ungaziphindiselela kanjani ku-Ghoster?

Akunconywa neze ukuzibandakanya ne-ghostbusting ukuze uziphindiselele ku-ghost. I-Ghostbusting ingashesha ukuthatheka, ibe yingozi futhi ingabi nempilo kumuntu ozibandakanyayo. Indlela engcono kakhulu yokuziphindiselela ku-ghoster ukunqamula konke ukuxhumana nale manipulator futhi ulawule impilo yakho.

Yini isipoki?

I-Ghosting ukunyamalala kungazelelwe ngaphandle kwencazelo. Esimweni sobudlelwane nomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic, lezi yizikhathi lapho umuntu enqamula khona konke ukuxhumana, ngokuvamile ngaphandle kwesixwayiso. Lokhu kungabikho kungathatha izinsuku ezimbalwa kuya ezinyangeni ezimbalwa, noma ngisho nangaphezulu. I-Ghosting iwuhlobo lokuhoxa ngokomzwelo olungalimaza kakhulu isisulu.

Kungani umuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic enza isipoki?

• Ukulawula ukuvivinya umzimba

I-Ghosting iyindlela yokuthi umphendukezeli we-narcissistic agcine ukulawula ubudlelwano. Ngokunyamalala, udala ukungalingani ngokomzwelo kumlingani wakhe futhi agcine amandla.

• Hlola ukulutheka

Lezi zikhathi ze ukuthula vumela i-narcissistic pervert ukuthi ihlole ukuthi umlingani wakhe unamathele futhi uncike kangakanani kuye. Kuyindlela “yokuthatha izinga lokushisa” lobudlelwano.

• Khuza futhi uziphindiselele

I-Ghosting ingasetshenziswa njengesijeziso lapho u-narcissist ezwa ukuthi umlingani wakhe akafinyeleli kulokho akulindele noma umphikisa. Kuwuhlobo “lwekona” lomzwelo.

• Gwema ukungqubuzana

Kwesinye isikhathi i-ghosting isetshenziswa njengesu lokugwema. Umphendukezeli we-narcissistic angase abone umlingani wakhe “njengongalawuleki” futhi akhethe ukunyamalala esikhundleni sokubhekana nesimo esingase sibe nokungqubuzana.

Imithelela yesipoki somuntu oyi-narcissistic pervert kumuntu ohlukunyeziwe

• Ukunciphisa imizwa

Ukuthula okungazelelwe kuvame ukudala ukukhathazeka, ukudideka kanye nemibuzo kulowo ohlukunyeziwe. Kuwuhlobo lokulahlwa ngokomzwelo okungase kuhlukumeze kakhulu.

• Ukuqinisa ukuncika

Ngokuxakayo, lokhu kungabikho kungaqinisa ukunamathela kwesisulu, esizizwa sintula kakhulu futhi singakhathazeka ngokubuya komlingani.

• Ukulahlekelwa ukuzethemba

Njengoba sibhekene nalokhu kunyamalala okuphindaphindiwe, isisulu singase silahlekelwe ukuzethemba futhi sizizwe sinecala ngalesi simo. Angase aqale ukungabaza ukubaluleka kwakhe kanye nekhono lakhe lokulondoloza ubuhlobo.

• Ukufuna incazelo:

Ngaphandle kwencazelo, isisulu sivame ukushiywa esivunguvungwini semibuzo ebuhlungu kanye nokucabangela, sifisa ukuqonda ukuthi kwenzekeni.

Ungasabela kanjani ku-ghost?

• Thatha igxathu emuva

Zisebenzise lezi zikhathi ukuze ucabange ngobudlelwano bakho nokuthi yini oyifunayo ngempela. Leli yithuba lokuthola ukucaciseleka ngesimo sakho. Gcina ijenali ukurekhoda imicabango yakho kanye nokuqaphela; lokhu kungakusiza ukuba wazi izici zobudlelwane okungenzeka ukuthi awuzinakanga.

• Ungaxhumani naye

Melana nesifiso sokuxhumana naye. Lokhu kuzoqinisa amandla akhe phezu kwakho kuphela futhi kuqinisekise isu lakhe lokukhohlisa. Ngaso sonke isikhathi uma uzwa isifiso sokuxhumana naye, zikhumbuze ukuthi yilokho kanye akufunayo kuwe. Thola izindlela zokuziphazamisa, njengokufonela umngane noma ukwenza umsebenzi owuthandayo, ukuze udlule kulezi zikhathi ezinzima.

• Gxila kuwena

Sebenzisa lesi sikhathi ukuze uzinakekele, uxhumane kabusha nezinkanuko zakho kanye nabathandekayo bakho. Leli yithuba lokuphinda uxhumane nawe. Faka imali empilweni yakho engokomzimba nengokwengqondo, kungaba ngokuzivocavoca, ukuzindla, noma ukuphishekela imigomo emisha yomuntu siqu.

• Funa usizo

Ungangabazi ukubonisana nochwepheshe noma ujoyine iqembu lokusekela ukuze likusize udlule kulobu bunzima. Akumele ubhekane nalokhu uwedwa. Umelaphi angakusiza ukuthi uthuthukise amasu okuphatha imizwa yakho futhi wakhe ukuzethemba kwakho.

Bona iphethini enobuthi yesipoki

Ukuphindwa kwesipoki kuwuphawu olucacile lobudlelwano obunobuthi. Kubalulekile ukuqaphela leli phethini futhi uqonde ukuthi ngeke lishintshe ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Kuwukuziphatha okungasebenzi okuveza ukungakwazi kwe-narcissistic pervert ukugcina ubudlelwano obunempilo nobuvuthiwe. Uma uqaphela la maphethini, yilapho uzokwazi ukuwabona ngokushesha esikhathini esizayo futhi uzivikele kuwo.

Umoya obheke enkululekweni

Nakuba kubuhlungu, isipoki singabonwa njengethuba lokusuka ebudlelwaneni obuyingozi. Leli yithuba lokuthola kabusha ukulawula impilo yakho futhi uzikhulule ethonyeni le-narcissistic pervert. Khumbula ukuthi ufanelwe ubuhlobo obusekelwe ekuhloniphaneni nasekukhulumisaneni ngokukhululekile. I-Ghosting akuyona indlela eyamukelekile yokuphatha uzakwenu, kungakhathaliseki izimo.

Ukuphulukisa kanye Nokukhula Komuntu Siqu

La ukuphulukiswa Ngemuva kokuvuthwa kungathatha isikhathi. Kubalulekile ukusebenzela ukuzethemba kwakho futhi uphonsele inselelo izinkolelo ezingezinhle okungenzeka zibangelwe yilesi sipiliyoni. Khumbula ukuthi ukuziphatha kwenarcissist kubonisa izinkinga zakhe nokungaqiniseki, hhayi ukubaluleka kwakho njengomuntu. Sebenzisa lokhu okuhlangenwe nakho njengethuba lokukhula komuntu siqu kanye nokuchaza kabusha lokho okulindele ebudlelwaneni.

Sengiphetha, i-ghosting iyindlela enamandla yokukhohlisa esetshenziswa abahlanekezeli be-narcissistic. Ngokuqonda izindlela zayo nemiphumela, ungazivikela kangcono futhi uqale indlela yakho eya ekwelapheni nasekukhuleni komuntu siqu. Khumbula ukuthi unamandla okunqoba lesi simo esinzima futhi wakhe ubudlelwano obunempilo esikhathini esizayo. Ukubaluleka kwakho akuxhomekile endleleni abanye abantu abakuphatha ngayo, kodwa kuncike ekutheni wena uziphatha kanjani.