Uxolelo kubudlelwane be-narcissistic: phakathi kokukhohlisa kunye nokukhohlisa

Ukuxolela kudla ngokubonwa njengesenzo sobubele novelwano. Kubudlelwane obuphawulwa ngokuziphatha kakubi kunye nokuxhatshazwa, nangona kunjalo, le ngcamango ithatha inqanaba elinzima ngakumbi. Kweli nqaku, siza kuphonononga nzulu indawo yokuxolelwa kobu budlelwane. Ngaba isoloko ithetheleleka? Siza kuphonononga iindlela zobuqhetseba ezisetyenziswa ngabantu benarcissistic ukufumana uxolelo, kunye neziphumo.

Uxolelo kubudlelwane narcissistic

Uxolelo luhlala lukhuthazwa njengendlela yokuqhubela phambili, kodwa kubudlelwane obuphawulwe ngo i-narcissism kunye nempatho-gadalala, iba ngumbono ombi. Narcissists, ngenxa yokungabi novelwano kunye notyekelo lwabo lokukhohlisa abanye, banokulindela ukuxolelwa ngaphandle kokuthatha uxanduva ngezenzo zabo.

Yintoni ubudlelwane be-narcissistic?

Ubudlelwane be-narcissistic buphawulwa ngamandla okulawula, apho umntu omnye elawula kwaye ekhohlisa iqabane lakhe. I-narcissist isebenzisa ubuqhetseba, ubutyala kunye namanye amaqhinga okugcina isikhundla sikabani samandla kunye nempembelelo. Le ndlela yokuziphatha ihlala iqiniswa yimfuno ye-narcissist yokugcina umfanekiso othobileyo woluntu kwaye uphephe naziphi na iimvakalelo zokuziva unetyala.

Iindlela ezikhohlisayo zokufumana uxolelo

Abantu abane-Narcissistic, xa bejongene nezenzo zabo, bahlala besebenzisa iindlela ezikhohlisayo ukuze bafumane ukuxolelwa ngaphandle kokuzisola ngokwenene. Nazi ezona ndlela zixhaphakileyo:

• I-gaslighting: ibandakanya ukwenza omnye umntu athandabuze umbono wabo wokwenyani. Ngokuguqula iindima zexhoba kunye nombulali, i-narcissist ibeka uxanduva lokuziphatha kwakhe kwelinye.
• I-DARVO (Ukuphika, uHlaselo, ukubuyisela umva ixhoba kunye nomoni): ubuchule apho umntu othanda ukuhlambalaza aqale akhanyele iinyani, ahlasele omnye ukuze aphambukise ingqalelo, aze azenze ixhoba.
• Ukunciphisa iinyani: ukuqonda ngokuyinxenye izenzo (umzekelo, “Ewe, ndangcatsha, kodwa wonke umntu uyayenza”), ukuphepha ukuqaphela ubungakanani bomonakalo obangelwayo.

Ezi ndlela zobuchule zivumela ama-narcissists ukuba agcine ulawulo lwabo kwaye alawule iimvakalelo zamaqabane abo, ngamanye amaxesha ebakhuthaza ukuba baxolele ukuze banciphise ityala labo.

Kutheni ukuxolelwa kuyingozi kobu budlelwane?

Kubudlelwane obunempilo, ukuxolelwa kunokukhuthaza ukulungiswa kobudlelwane. Nangona kunjalo, kubudlelwane kunye ne-narcissist, ukuxolela kunokuba yingozi. Nazi izizathu eziphambili zokuba kutheni ukuxolelwa kunokuba neziphumo ezibi:

• Ukomelezwa kweepatheni ezixhaphazayo: Ukuxolela ngaphandle kwemiqathango kunokukhuthaza umxhasi ukuba aphinde ukuziphatha okufanayo.
• I-Ingozi yokuvuselela i-trauma: ukuxolelwa, kwezi meko, kunokuvuselela amanxeba kunye nokuqinisa i-trauma bond, ukudala ukuxhomekeka ngokomzwelo kwixhoba.
• Ukuphelelwa ukuzithemba: Xa uxolelo luvunyiwe phezu kwako nje ukubandezeleka okukhulu, ixhoba lisenokuziva lilahlekelwe sisidima kunye nokuzixabisa.

Uxolelo kobu budlelwane ke ngoko kunokuba nemiphumo eyonakalisayo kumaxhoba, luwaqhubele phambili kumjikelo wokuxhatshazwa.

Iziphumo zengqondo kumaxhoba

Ukuxolela i-narcissist, ngakumbi phantsi koxinzelelo, kunokuba nemiphumo emibi kumaxhoba. Banokufumana uthotho lweziphumo ezibalulekileyo zengqondo:

• Depression: Iintlungu ezihlala ixesha elide kunye nemvakalelo yokungaqatshelwa ngokubandezeleka komntu kunokukhokelela kukuphazamiseka kokudakumba.
• Anxiety: Ukoyika ukungcatshwa okutsha okanye ukuqhatha kunokuba yinto eqhubekayo kwaye iphazamise ubomi bemihla ngemihla.
• I-Dissociation: ejongene nokubandezeleka kwengqondo, ixhoba linokwamkela uhlobo lokuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo ukuzikhusela.
• Ukuziva uneentloni: Amanye amaxhoba asenokuziva eneentloni okanye enetyala ngenxa yokungakwazi “ukuqhubela phambili.”

Ezi ziphumo zibonisa ukuba ukuxolela i-narcissist akusoloko kukhulula amaxhoba, kodwa kunokomeleza amanxeba eemvakalelo.

Amakhonkco phakathi kwe-narcissism, impatho-gadalala kunye noxolelo

Ubudlelwane beNarcissistic buhlala buphawulwa ngeendlela zokuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo, ngokwasengqondweni, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ngokwasemzimbeni. I-narcissist, ngenxa yokungabi novelwano kunye nokuzicingela, ihlala ingayazi ingozi ayenzayo okanye ayifuni ukuyivuma. Uxolelo, kwezi meko, ayisosixhobo sokuphilisa, kodwa iba sisixhobo sokukhohlisa kwi-narcissist. Ngokukhohlisa uxolelo, i-narcissist inokuthi:

• Qwalasela iziphumo zezenzo zomntu,
• Gcina i-facade yoluntu,
• Qhubekeka ukuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo ngaphandle kokuziva unetyala.

Ekugqibeleni, ukuxolelwa kunokuwuqhubela phambili umjikelo wokuphathwa gadalala nokuphathwa kakubi, nto leyo eyenza kube nzima ngamaxhoba ukwahlukana nawo.

Kutheni ama-narcisists acela ukuxolelwa?

Ukuxolelwa kwanarcissists akukuvuma ngokunyanisekileyo iimpazamo zabo, kodwa kuyindlela yokubuyisela umfanekiso wabo wobuqu okanye woluntu. Nazi ezinye izizathu zokuba kutheni ii-narcisists zihlala zifuna ukuxolelwa:

• Entitlement: Bakholelwa ukuba banelungelo lokuxolelwa, kungakhathaliseki umonakalo abawubangeleyo.
• Public Image: Ngokucela ukuxolelwa, banethemba lokubuyisela igama labo.
• Emotional control: Ngokufumana ukuxolelwa, bagcina uxhulumaniso kunye nexhoba kwaye banokuphinda baqhubele phambili.

Ezi zizathu zibonisa ukuba ukuxolelwa, kwimeko ye-narcissism, ngokuqhelekileyo sisixhobo sokulawula, kunokuba indlela yoxolelaniso.

Indima yoxolelo ekwakhiweni ngokutsha komntu

Ukwala ukuxolela ngamanye amaxesha kunokuba sisenzo sokunyamezela kwixhoba, kubavumela ukuba baphule umjikelo wokuxhatshazwa kunye nokuzikhusela. Nangona amanye amaxhoba ekhetha ukuxolela emva kweminyaka eliqela ukuze akhulule ingqumbo, kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuba ukuxolela akusosinyanzelo. Kwimeko ye-narcissism, uxolelo lunokugcinelwa ixesha lokuphiliswa kokwenene komntu, kude nempembelelo yomxhaphazi.

Iimbekiselo zeBibliographic

Nalu uluhlu lweembekiselo ezisixhenxe zebhayibhilografi zokuqonda uxolelo kubudlelwane be-narcissistic:

1. Crocq, M.-A. (2014). Traumatismes psychiques : Du syndrome de stress post-traumatique aux troubles mentaux complexes . Dunod.
2. Cyrulnik, B. (2009). Les Vilains Petits Canards : La résilience . Odile Jacob.
3. Schmidt, S. (2013). Le cerveau des émotions . Odile Jacob.
4. Ménard, C. (2010). Les relations toxiques : Abus, manipulations et perversions . Leduc.s Editions.
5. Beauvois, J.-L., & Joule, R.-V. (2009). La soumission librement consentie . PUF.
6. Kernberg, O. (2004). Personnalités narcissiques et troubles de l’identité . PUF.
7. Biron, C. (2008). Les personnalités narcissiques : Diagnostic et prise en charge . Lavoisier.

Ukuqukumbela

Kubudlelwane be-narcissistic, uxolelo alusoloko lunomsebenzi wokubuyisela umntu anokuba nethemba kuwo. Idla ngokuba sisixhobo sokukhohlisa kumntu othandabuzekayo, efuna ukugcina ulawulo kunye nokuphepha nayiphi na imibuzo ngezenzo zabo. Kwelinye icala, amaxhoba amele ahlolisise ngenyameko enoba ukuxolela ngokwenene kuwazisela uhlobo oluthile loxolo okanye kuyayibethelela kusini na intlungu yawo. Kwezi meko, ukuxolelwa akufanele kujongwe njengembopheleleko, kodwa njengokhetho lobuqu, olunokuthi, kwezinye iimeko, lubekwe eceleni ukuze kuvunyelwe ukuphiliswa kokwenene kunye nokwakhiwa kwakhona komntu.