Indlela yokufumana i-trigger yokuphuma kuxinzelelo?

Usanda kuphuma kubudlelwane obuyityhefu kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator kwaye uziva ucinezelekile, ulahlekile, uphelelwe ngamandla akho. Le mvakalelo iqhelekile kwaye iyinxalenye yenkqubo yokuphilisa. Nangona kunjalo, kunokwenzeka ukuba ufumane into ebangela ukubaleka ukudandatheka kwaye uphinde ufumane uvuyo lwakho lobomi. Nazi ezinye iimbono zokukunceda kule nkqubo.

Qonda ukuba ukudakumba kwakho kunentsingiselo

Inyathelo lokuqala lokuphuma kuxinzelelo kukuqonda ukuba linentsingiselo kunye nenjongo. Ngokuchasene noko unokucinga, esi sigaba sinzima asikokusilela okanye ubuthathaka kwicala lakho. Le yindlela eqhelekileyo yokusabela kukwenzakala okunzulu ngokweemvakalelo.

Ukudakumba kwakho ngokwenene yindlela ekhuselayo nephilisayo ebekwe yingqondo yakho. Ikuvumela ukuba:

• Ubuhlungu ubudlelwane kunye nomntu ocinga ukuba uyamazi
• Yazi ngokuqhathwa kunye nokuxhatshazwa okukhoyo
• Qala ukuzakha kwakhona kwiziseko ezitsha

Yamkela esi sigaba njengenxalenye ebalulekileyo yenkqubo yakho yokuphilisa. Yiba nomonde kwaye ube nobubele kuwe.

Chonga kwaye wamkele iimvakalelo zakho

Ubudlelwane kunye ne-manipulator ye-narcissistic kaninzi ishiya isaqhwithi seemvakalelo eziphikisanayo: ukudabuka, umsindo, ityala, ihlazo, ukukhululeka … Kubalulekile ukufunda ukuchonga kunye nokubiza amagama ezi mvakalelo ukuze usebenze ngazo.

Musa ukoyika ukuziva ngokupheleleyo iimvakalelo zakho, kwanazona zibuhlungu kakhulu. Ukucinezela okanye ukukhanyela oko uvakalelwa kukuba kuya kwandisa ukubandezeleka kwakho. Yamkela ukuba ezi mvakalelo ziyinxalenye yakho okwangoku, ngaphandle kokuzigweba.

Ukugcina ijenali kunokukunceda uyibeke ngamazwi into ojongene nayo. Ukuvakalisa iimvakalelo zakho ngobugcisa okanye ngemidlalo nako kuluncedo.

Ukuphuma kuxinzelelo, qonda ixabiso lakho elingaphakathi

I-narcissistic manipulator mhlawumbi ichithe iinyanga okanye iminyaka ikubeka phantsi kwaye ikwenza ungathandabuzi ukubaluleka kwakho. Lixesha lokuba uphinde uzifumanise ukuba ungubani na.

Yenza uluhlu lweempawu zakho, impumelelo yakho, amaxesha apho wawuzidla ngawe. Buza abantu obathandayo ukuba bathanda ntoni ngawe. Nikela ingqalelo kwizinto okwaziyo ukuzenza kakuhle kunobuthathaka bakho.

Khumbula ukuba unexabiso elingaphakathi, nokuba ubani uthini na. Ufanelwe yintlonipho, uthando kunye nolonwabo, kungakhathaliseki ukuba iqabane lakho langaphambili elinobuthi lithini.

Yaphula umjikelo wokuba netyala

Amaxhoba amaninzi e-narcissistic manipulators aziva enetyala kwaye enoxanduva lokungaphumeleli kobudlelwane. Lo ngumgibe ekungafanele siwele kuwo.

Khumbula ukuba:

• Awunaxanduva lokuziphatha kakubi kweqabane lakho langaphambili
• Wenze konke okusemandleni akho ngolwazi owawunalo ngelo xesha
• Unelungelo lokuzikhusela kwaye ubaleke kubudlelwane obuyityhefu

I-guilt isebenza kuphela ukukugcina ukwimeko yokubandezeleka. Ngokuqaphela ukhethe ukuzikhulula kuyo ukuze uqhubele phambili.

Phinda ulawule ubomi bakho

Ubudlelwane kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator kusenokwenzeka ukuba kukubangele ukuba ulahlekelwe ulawulo kwiinkalo ezininzi zobomi bakho. Lixesha lokuba ubuyise iintambo.

Qala ngezinto ezincinci:

• Misela inkqubo yemihla ngemihla ekusebenzelayo
• Misela iinjongo zexesha elifutshane ezisengqiqweni kwaye ubhiyozele impumelelo nganye
• Zenzele izigqibo, ngaphandle kokufuna imvume kwabanye
• Lungisa kwakhona indawo yakho yokuhlala ngokokuthanda kwakho

Kancinci kancinci, uya kuphinda ube nentembelo kubuchule bakho bokwalathisa ubomi bakho.

Qhagamshelana kwakhona nezinto ozithandayo kunye nezinto onomdla kuzo

I-narcissistic manipulator mhlawumbi ithathe yonke indawo ebomini bakho, ikwenza ukuba ulibale iminqweno yakho. Lixesha lokuba uphinde uzibhaqe!

Yenza uludwe lwazo zonke izinto owawuthanda ukuzenza phambi kobu budlelwane buyingozi. Ngaba kukho nayiphi na imisebenzi oye wayiyeka? Amaphupha obubeke ecaleni?

Zivumele uphonononge izinto ezintsha onomdla kuzo. Bhalisela iklasi, ukujoyina iklabhu, zama amava amatsha. Oku kuya kukunceda uphinde uqhagamshelane nawe kwaye ufumane intsingiselo entsha ebomini bakho.

Zijikeleze ngabantu abanenkathalo

Emva kobudlelwane obuyityhefu, kubalulekile ukuba uzingqonge nabantu abalungileyo nabakhathalayo. Chonga abahlobo kunye namalungu osapho akuxhasa ngokwenene.

Musa ukuthandabuza ukucela uncedo ukuba uziva ulufuna. Inkxaso yengqondo yobuchwephesha inokuba luncedo kakhulu ekuncedeni ngeli xesha.

Ukujoyina iqela lenkxaso kumaxhoba e-narcissistic manipulators kunokukunceda ukuba ungabi wedwa kwaye wabelane ngamava akho nabantu abayiqondayo into ojongene nayo.

Wukhathalele umzimba wakho ukuze uphume kudandatheko

Impilo yengqondo neyomzimba inxibelelene ngokusondeleyo. Ukunyamekela umzimba wakho kuya kukunceda uzive ungcono entloko yakho.

Ezinye iindlela zokuhlola:

• Yitya ukutya okunesondlo nokunesondlo
• Ziqhelise ukwenza umthambo rhoqo
• Lala ngokwaneleyo
• Zama iindlela zokuphumla ezifana nokucamngca okanye i-yoga

Thatha ixesha lokuziphatha: ukuhlamba okushushu, i-massage, ukuhamba kwendalo … Le mizuzu encinci yentlalontle ibalulekile ekwakhiweni kwakho kwakhona.

Iprojekthi kwixesha elizayo

Xa ushiya ubudlelwane obuyityhefu, ngamanye amaxesha kunzima ukucwangcisa ikamva. Noko ke, linyathelo elibalulekileyo lokuphuma kudandatheko.

Qala ngokucinga ubomi bakho obufanelekileyo kwiminyaka emi-5. Ingaba ubonakala njani? Wenza ntoni ? Ngubani okungqongileyo? Yiba ngokuthe ngqo kunye neenkcukacha kangangoko kunokwenzeka kumbono wakho.

Emva koko, cinga ngamanyathelo abambekayo onokuwathatha ngoku ukuze usondele kulo mbono. Misela iinjongo ezifikelelekayo zexesha elifutshane, eliphakathi nelide.

Hlakulela umbulelo yonke imihla

Umbulelo liyeza elinamandla lokudakumba. Ikunceda ukuba ugxininise kwizinto ezintle zobomi bakho kunokuba ujonge kwizinto oziphosileyo.

Rhoqo ngorhatya, bhala phantsi izinto ezi-3 onombulelo ngazo. Isenokuba zizinto ezilula kakhulu: imitha yelanga, isidlo esimnandi, uncumo…

Ngokuhamba kwexesha, uya kuba nesimo sengqondo esikhuthazayo ngobomi, nto leyo eya kukunceda ukoyise ukudakumba.

Funda ukuzithemba kwakhona

I-betrayal ye-manipulator ye-narcissistic inokugungqisa kakhulu ukuzithemba kwakho, kuwe nakwabanye. Ukwakha le trust yinkqubo ethatha ixesha, kodwa ibalulekile ekunyangeni kwakho.

Qala ngokugcina izithembiso zakho kuwe. Zibekele usukelo olusengqiqweni uze unamathele kulo. Lonke uloyiso oluncinci luya kukhulisa ukuzithemba kwakho.

Kwakhona funda ukumamela intuition yakho. Mhlawumbi awuzihoyanga iimpawu ezininzi ezilumkisayo ngexesha lobudlelwane bakho obuyityhefu. Zithembe ukuze ubone iiflegi red kwixesha elizayo.

Ireferensi yebhayibhiliyografi ukufumana into ebangela ukuba uphume kuxinzelelo

Nazi iimbekiselo ezisixhenxe zebhayibhili ezijongana nomxholo “wezinto ezibangela ukuba uphume kuxinzelelo”:

1. Cohen, A., & O’Connor, K. (2018). Psychologie de la dépression : Comprendre et surmonter les mécanismes de la maladie. Paris : Éditions Odile Jacob.
2. Léger, J., & Vasseur, M. (2019). La résilience face à la dépression : Stratégies et témoignages. Lyon : Éditions de l’Atelier.
3. Miller, G. (2017). La dépression : un guide pour les thérapeutes. Paris : Éditions Payot.
4. Seligman, M. E. P. (2006). La vérité sur le bonheur. Paris : Éditions Robert Laffont.
5. Bourguignon, J. (2020). Surmonter la dépression : Éléments de psychologie clinique. Bruxelles : Éditions de Boeck.
6. Rouleau, M. (2015). Les clés de la guérison : Dépression et approche holistique. Montréal : Éditions Guy Saint-Jean.
7. Tordjman, S. (2013). Dépression : Comprendre pour agir. Paris : Éditions Masson.

Ezi mbekiselo kufuneka zikunike isiseko esiluqilima sokuphonononga izinto ezinokubangela ukuba ubaleke kudandatheko.

Isiphelo: ukuzalwa kwakho kwakhona kunokwenzeka

Ukuphuma kuxinzelelo emva kobudlelwane kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator yinkqubo ethatha ixesha, umonde kunye novelwano oluninzi kuwe. Akukho sisombululo singummangaliso, kodwa ngokubeka la maqhinga ahlukeneyo ekusebenzeni, kancinci kancinci uya kufumana indlela yokuphilisa.

Khumbula ukuba womelele kunokuba ucinga. Usinde kubudlelwane obunetyhefu kakhulu, obungqina ukomelela kwakho. La mava, nangona abuhlungu kangakanani na, anokuba yintlahlela eya kubomi obunentsingiselo nobunyanisileyo.

Hlala unethemba: ukuzalwa kwakho kwakhona akunakwenzeka kuphela, kodwa akunakuphepheka ukuba uphikelela kuhambo lwakho lokuphilisa. Ufanelwe kukonwaba nokwaneliseka. Kholelwa kuwe nakukwazi kwakho ukoyisa le ngxaki.