Ukuthethelela ebudlelwaneni be-narcissistic: Phakathi kokukhohlisa nokukhohlisa

Ukuthethelela kuvame ukubonakala njengesenzo sokuphana nesihawu. Ebudlelwaneni obuphawulwa ngokuziphatha okucashile nokuhlukumezayo, nokho, lo mbono uthatha isici esiyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu. Kulesi sihloko, sizohlola ngokujulile indawo yokuthethelela kulobu budlelwano. Ingabe kuyathetheleleka? Sizohlola izindlela zokukhohlisa ezisetshenziswa abantu abane-narcissistic ukuze bathole intethelelo, kanye nemiphumela.

Ukuthethelela ebudlelwaneni be-narcissistic

Ukuthethelela kuvame ukukhuthazwa njengendlela yokuqhubekela phambili, kodwa ebuhlotsheni obuphawulwe i-narcissism nokuhlukunyezwa, kuba umqondo ongacacile. Ama-Narcissists, ngenxa yokuntula kwabo uzwela nokuthambekela ekulawuleni abanye, bangalindela ukuxolelwa ngaphandle kokuthatha umthwalo wemfanelo ngezenzo zabo.

Buyini ubudlelwane be-narcissistic?

Ubuhlobo bokuzikhukhumeza bubonakala ngokulawula okuguqukayo, lapho umuntu oyedwa ebusa futhi elawula umlingani wakhe. Umuntu ozikhukhumezayo usebenzisa ukukhohlisa, icala kanye namanye amaqhinga okugcina isikhundla sabo samandla nethonya. Lokhu kuziphatha kuvame ukuqiniswa yisidingo somuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza ukuze alondoloze isithombe somphakathi esithophayo futhi agweme noma yimiphi imizwa yecala.

Izindlela ezikhohlisayo zokuthola intethelelo

Abantu abangamaNarcissistic, lapho bebhekene nezenzo zabo, bavame ukusebenzisa amasu okukhohlisa ukuze bathole intethelelo ngaphandle kokuzisola kwangempela. Nazi izindlela ezivame kakhulu:

• Le ukukhanyisa igesi : kuhlanganisa ukwenza abanye bangabaze umbono wabo weqiniso. Ngokuhlehlisa izindima zesisulu kanye nomenzi wobubi, i-narcissist ibeka umthwalo wemfanelo wokuziphatha kwayo komunye.
• Idatha ye-DARVO (Ukuphika, Ukuhlasela, Ukuhlehlisa Isisulu kanye Nomoni): indlela lapho umxoxi eqala ukuphika amaqiniso, ahlasele omunye ukuze aphambukise ukunaka, bese ezenza isisulu.
• Ukunciphisa amaqiniso : qaphela izenzo ngokwengxenye (ngokwesibonelo, “Yebo, ngikhaphele, kodwa wonke umuntu uyakwenza”), ukuze ugweme ukuqaphela izinga lomonakalo odaliwe.

Lezi zindlela zivumela ama-narcissists ukuthi alondoloze ukulawula kwawo futhi alawule imizwelo yabalingani babo, ngezinye izikhathi ebakhuthaza ukuba bathethelele ukuze banciphise icala labo.

Kungani ukuthethelela kuyingozi kulobu budlelwano?

Ebudlelwaneni obunempilo, ukuthethelela kungakhuthaza ukulungiswa kwesibopho. Kodwa-ke, ebudlelwaneni ne-narcissist, ukuthethelela kungaba yingozi. Nazi izizathu eziyinhloko zokuthi kungani ukuthethelela kungaba nemiphumela emibi:

• Ukuqiniswa kwamaphethini ahlukumezayo : Ukuthethelela ngaphandle kwemibandela kungakhuthaza umgadli ukuthi aphinde ukuziphatha okufanayo.
• Ingozi yokuphinda kusebenze ukuhlukumezeka : intethelelo, kulezi zimo, ingavuselela amanxeba futhi iqinise isibopho sokuhlukumezeka, idale ukuncika ngokomzwelo kulowo ohlukunyeziwe.
• Ukulahlekelwa ukuzethemba : Lapho intethelelo inikezwa naphezu kokuhlupheka okukhulu, isisulu singase sizizwe siphelelwa ukuzethemba nokuzethemba.

Ngakho-ke ukuthethelela kulobu budlelwano kungaba nemiphumela elimazayo kwabahlukunyezwayo, kubaqhubekisele phambili emjikelezweni wokuhlukumeza.

Imiphumela engokwengqondo kwabahlukumezekile

Ukuthethelela umuntu onama-narciss, ikakhulukazi ngaphansi kwengcindezi, kungaba nemiphumela elimazayo kwabahlukunyezwayo. Bangathola uchungechunge lwemiphumela ebalulekile engokwengqondo:

• Ukucindezeleka : Ubuhlungu obuhlala isikhathi eside kanye nomuzwa wokungabonakali ekuhluphekeni komuntu kungaholela ezinkingeni ezicindezelayo.
• Anxiété : ukwesaba ukukhashelwa okusha noma ukukhohlisa kungase kuhlale njalo futhi kuphazamise ukuphila kwansuku zonke.
• Ukuhlukaniswa : sibhekene nokuhlupheka ngokwengqondo, isisulu singathatha uhlobo oluthile lokuzihlukanisa ngokomzwelo ukuze sizivikele.
• Ukuzizwa enamahloni : Ezinye izisulu zingase zizwe zinamahloni noma zinecala ngokungakwazi “ukuqhubekela phambili.”

Le miphumela ikhombisa ukuthi ukuthethelela umuntu ophuza utshwala akukhulule njalo izisulu, kodwa kungaqinisa amanxeba angokomzwelo.

Izixhumanisi phakathi kwe-narcissism, ukuhlukumeza kanye nokuthethelela

Ubudlelwano be-Narcissistic buvamise ukuphawulwa ngezinhlobo zokuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo, ngokwengqondo, futhi kwesinye isikhathi ngokomzimba. I-narcissist, ngenxa yokungabi nozwelo nokuzicabangela, ivame ukungazi ngomonakalo awudalayo noma ungafuni ukuvuma. Intethelelo, kulezi zimo, ayilona ithuluzi lokuphulukisa kodwa iba yisikhali sokukhohlisa ku-narcissist. Ngokukhohlisa ukuthethelela, i-narcissist ingakwazi:

• Gwema imiphumela yezenzo zomuntu,
• Gcina i-facade yomphakathi,
• Qhubeka nokuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo ngaphandle kokuba necala.

Ekugcineni, ukuthethelela kungase kuqhubekisele phambili umjikelezo wokuhlukumeza nokukhwabanisa, kwenze kube nzima ngezisulu ukugqashula.

Kungani ama-narcisists acela intethelelo?

Ukuthethelela ama-narcissists akukona ukuvuma ngobuqotho amaphutha abo, kodwa kunalokho kuyindlela yokubuyisela isithombe sabo siqu noma esidlangalaleni. Nazi ezinye izizathu zokuthi kungani ama-narcisists avame ukufuna intethelelo:

• Ilungelo : bacabanga ukuthi banelungelo lokuthethelelwa, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi benzani.
• Isithombe esisesidlangalaleni : ngokucela intethelelo, banethemba lokubuyisela isithunzi sabo.
• Ukulawula imizwelo : ngokuthola intethelelo, bagcina ukuxhumana nomuntu ohlukunyeziwe futhi bangakwazi ukuphinde bamkhohlise futhi.

Lezi zisusa zibonisa ukuthi ukuthethelela, kumongo we-narcissism, ngokuvamile kuyithuluzi lokulawula, kunokuba indlela yokubuyisana.

Indima yokuthethelela ekwakhiweni kabusha komuntu siqu

Ukwenqaba ukuthethelela ngezinye izikhathi kungaba isenzo sokuqina kulowo ohlukunyeziwe, okumvumela ukuba aphule umjikelezo wokuhlukumeza futhi azivikele. Nakuba ezinye izisulu zikhetha ukuthethelela ngemva kweminyaka eminingana ukuze zizikhulule ekucasukeni, kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi ukuthethelela akusona isibopho. Kumongo we-narcissism, intethelelo ingagcinelwa izikhathi zokuphulukiswa kwangempela komuntu siqu, kude nomthelela womhlukumezi.

Izikhombo ze-Bibliographic

Nalu uhlu lwezikhombo zebhayibheli eziyisikhombisa zokuqonda ukuthethelela ebudlelwaneni be-narcissistic:

1. Crocq, M.-A. (2014). Ukuhlukumezeka kwengqondo: Kusukela ekucindezelekeni kwangemva kwe-traumatic kuya ekuphazamisekeni kwengqondo okuyinkimbinkimbi . Dunod.
2. Cyrulnik, B. (2009). Amadada Amabi: Ukuqina . Odile Jacob.
3. Schmidt, S. (2013). Ubuchopho bemizwa . Odile Jacob.
4. Menard, C. (2010). Ubudlelwano obunobuthi: Ukuhlukumeza, ukukhohlisa nokuhlanekezela . Izinguqulo ze-Leduc.
5. Beauvois, J.-L., & Joule, R.-V. (2009). Ukuhambisa okuvunyelwe ngokukhululekile . I-PUF.
6. UKernberg, O. (2004). I-Narcissistic Personalities kanye ne-Identity Disorders . I-PUF.
7. U-Biron, C. (2008). Ubuntu be-Narcissistic: Ukuxilongwa kanye Nokwelashwa . I-Lavoisier.

Isiphetho

Ebudlelwaneni be-narcissistic, ukuthethelela akuhlali kunomsebenzi wokubuyisela umuntu angase abe nethemba lawo. Ngokuvamile kuba yithuluzi lokukhohlisa lomuntu ngamunye, efuna ukugcina ukulawula nokugwema noma yikuphi ukubuzwa ngezenzo zabo. Izisulu zona, kumelwe zihlole ngokucophelela ukuthi ukuthethelela kuzilethela ngempela uhlobo oluthile lokuthula noma ukuthi kuqinisa nje ubuhlungu bazo. Kulezi zimo, ukuthethelela akufanele kubonwe njengesibopho, kodwa njengokuzikhethela komuntu siqu, okungenzeka, kwezinye izimo, kubekwe eceleni ukuze kuvunyelwe ukuphulukiswa kweqiniso nokwakhiwa kabusha komuntu siqu.