Ukuqonda i-narcissism: ilitye eliphambili lobuthixo / umtyholi kuthi

I-Narcissism sisifundo esintsonkothileyo esinokuchaphazela kakhulu ubudlelwane bethu. Masiphonononge le nto kwaye sifumanise ukuba ungalubuyisela njani ulawulo kubomi bakho.

Yintoni narcissism?

I-Narcissism luphawu lobuntu oluphawulwa ngesidingo esigqithisileyo sokunconywa, ukungabi naluvelwano, kunye nombono omkhulu wesiqu sakho. Abantu be-Narcissistic badla ngokukhohlisa abo babangqongileyo ukuze banelise iimfuno zabo, ngokufuthi kube yingozi kwabanye.

Intsomi kaNarcissus: imvelaphi yegama

Igama elithi “narcissism” lisuka kwiintsomi zamaGrike, ngakumbi kwintsomi kaNarcissus. Ngokutsho kwentsomi, uNarcissus wayengumfana omhle obalaseleyo. Ngenye imini, wabona umfanekiso wakhe kumanzi omthombo waza waphambana ukuwuthanda, akazange akwazi ukuwasusa amehlo akhe kumfanekiso wakhe. Ingakwazi ukushenxa kwindlela acinga ngayo, ekugqibeleni ibuna elunxwemeni lwamanzi, iguqukela ekubeni yintyatyambo ebizwa ngegama layo.

Eli bali libonisa ngokugqibeleleyo ukuzithanda ngokugqithiseleyo kunye nesidingo esiqhubekayo sokunconywa esibonisa i-narcissism. Kwakhona kusikhumbuza ngeengozi zokunikela ingqalelo kakhulu kwiziqu zethu, nto leyo eyingozi kulwalamano lwethu nabanye.

I-narcissism yaseprayimari neyesibini: iinkalo ezimbini zokuqonda

Kwinkalo yengqondo, kukho iintlobo ezimbini ze-narcissism: eziziiprayimari kunye nezesekondari. I-narcissism yokuqala ithathwa njengenqanaba eliqhelekileyo lokukhula komntwana. Esi sisigaba apho umntwana engekahlukanisi phakathi kwakhe nelizwe langaphandle, eziqonda njengombindi wayo yonke into. Eli nqanaba libalulekile kuphuhliso lokuzithemba okunempilo.

I-narcissism yesibini, kwelinye icala, ibonakala kamva ebomini kwaye inokuba yingxaki. Luphawulwa ngokubuyela kwingqalelo nomdla kuye, ngokufuthi ngenxa yokusabela kwintlungu okanye ukuphoxeka. Luhlobo lwe-narcissism olunokuthi lukhule lube yi-narcissistic personality disorder. I-narcissistic manipulators onokuthi udibane nayo ebomini bakho ngokubanzi ibonisa le narcissism eyongeziweyo yesibini.

Ukuqonda lo mahluko kunokukunceda ukuba uqonde ngcono indlela yokuziphatha kwe-narcissistic manipulator.

I-narcissism yokuqala: inqanaba elibalulekileyo lophuhliso

I-Primary narcissism sisigaba sokuqala sokukhula kwengqondo yomntwana, ukusuka ekuzalweni ukuya malunga neenyanga ezi-6. Ngeli xesha, usana alukwazi ukwahlula phakathi kwakhe kunye nehlabathi langaphandle. Uzibona njengendawo esembindini wendalo iphela, ekwimo yentelekelelo yokuba namandla onke apho zonke iimfuno zakhe zaneliswa ngaphandle kokuba abe nolwazi ngongenelelo lwabanye.

Esi sigaba sibalulekile ngenxa yezizathu ezininzi:

1. Ukwenziwa kwe-ego: Kungeli xesha apho iziseko ze-ego ziqala ukwenza.
2. Ukuphuhlisa Ukuzithemba: I-narcissism yokuqala ibeka isiseko sokuzithemba okunempilo.
3. Ubuchule bokuthanda: Okumangalisayo kukuba, kukuthanda isiqu sakho kuqala apho umntwana aya kuthi kamva afunde ukuthanda abanye.
4. Sense yokhuseleko: Esi sigaba sinceda ukudala ingqiqo yokhuseleko kumntwana.

Kancinci, umntwana uqala ukuqonda ukuba ihlabathi likhona ngaphandle kwakhe. Oku kuqonda, ngamanye amaxesha kubizwa ngokuba “ukulimala okuphambili,” kuphawula ukuphela kwe-primary narcissism kunye nokuqala kobudlelwane bezinto.

Kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuba i-Primary narcissism ithathwa njengesiqhelo kwaye iyimfuneko.

Amandla e-Primary Narcissism: Amandla oBomi obusisiseko

Amandla e-narcissism yokuqala angamandla abalulekileyo abalulekileyo kuphuhliso lomntu. Ibonakaliswe ngamandla athile kunye nomgangatho oyingqayizivele owahlula kwezinye iindlela zamandla engqondo.

Iimpawu zamandla e-narcissism yokuqala:

1. Totality: La mandla aquka yonke indalo yomntwana. Ayinamida kwaye ayenzi mahluko phakathi kwesiqu sakho nokungenguye.
2. Omnipotence: Inika usana ukuziva unamandla onke. Ngamava akhe, iminqweno yakhe iyaneliswa ngokukhawuleza njengokungathi ngomlingo.
3. Fullness: La ngamandla okuphila ngokupheleleyo. Usana luziva luzalisekile, ngaphandle kokuswela okanye umnqweno onganelisekanga.
4. I-Ukuzanelisa: Amandla e-narcissism ephambili azimele kwaye azimele. Ayidingi mphandle ukuze ibekho.
5. Creativity: La mandla asisiseko sobuchule bexesha elizayo bomntu ngamnye. Iyondla intelekelelo kunye nokukwazi ukuzibonakalisa kwikamva.
6. Vitality: Ngamandla acocekileyo obomi, angenakuthintelwa yimiqobo yenyani yangaphandle.
7. Fluidity: Ijikeleza ngokukhululekileyo, ngaphandle kwemiqobo okanye imiqobo, kuyo yonke indawo yosana.
8. Expansion: La mandla ngokwemvelo athambekele ekwandiseni kwaye ajikeleze yonke into engena kwintsimi yamava omntwana.

Umzobo owandibuyisela kwi-narcissism yam yokuqala

Ngamanye amaxesha ndandibanezibane zobuntwana bam kunye namalaphu anamachaphaza afana nala andenza ndizive ndizolile kwaye ndiqinisekile, into engeyiyo eyehlabathi, iyonke kwaye iphelele. Ndicinga ukuba ngalo mzuzu wokwazisa MNA, le linen enechaphaza lepolka yaba yinto yokuqala endayibonayo apha kweli hlabathi.

Ngokuqinisekileyo uneenkumbulo ezinjalo, zama ukudibanisa kula mandla, yeyona nto inokukunceda uphole kwinxeba lokuqala le-narcissistic.

Umthambo: Qhagamshelana kwakhona namandla akho aphambili obomi

Lo msebenzi uya kukunceda uphinde udibanise kunye namandla acocekileyo kunye afanelekileyo e-narcissism ephambili, ngaphandle kokuwela ekugqithiseni kwe-pathological narcissism. Injongo kukuvuselela amandla akho okuzalwa kunye nobuchule.

Ubude bexesha: Malunga nemizuzu eyi-15-20

1. Ukulungiselela:
   • Fumana indawo ezolileyo apho ungayi kuphazanyiswa.
   • Hlala okanye ungqengqe kakuhle.
   • Vala amehlo akho kwaye uphefumle kancinci kancinci.
2. Umbono:
   • Yiba nomfanekiso wakho ulusana olusandul’ ukuzalwa, usongelwe ngengubo ethambileyo.
   • Zive ubushushu obupheleleyo kunye nokhuseleko olungqongileyo.
   • Yiba nomfanekiso ngqondweni wokukhanya okufudumeleyo, okubugolide okuphuma entliziyweni yakho kwaye kuzalisa umzimba wakho uphela.
3. Ndaziva:
   • Gxila kwimvakalelo yokugqibelela kunye nokugqibelela.
   • Zivumele woyiswe yimvakalelo yothando olungagungqiyo kuwe.
   • Zive ukuba zonke iimfuno zakho zihlangatyezwa njani ngaphandle komgudu.
4. Ukwandiswa:
   • Khawube nomfanekiso-ngqondweni wesi sibane segolide sidlulela ngaphaya komzimba wakho.
   • Yibone ngeso lengqondo igcwalisa igumbi lonke, emva koko ikhula ibe yinto engapheliyo.
   • Zive ukuba uyinxalenye yale nto yonke, ngelixa useziko.
5. Uyilo:
   • Kule meko yokwandiswa, vumela imifanekiso, iingcamango okanye iimvakalelo zize kuwe.
   • Bamkele ngaphandle kwesigwebo, njengezipho zobuchule bakho bendalo.
6. I-ankile:
   • Kancinci, buyisela ingqalelo yakho emzimbeni wakho.
   • Gcina imvakalelo yala mandla abalulekileyo ngaphakathi kuwe.
   • Kancinci uvule amehlo akho, ugcine le mvakalelo yokugcwala.
7. Umboniso:
   • Thatha imizuzwana embalwa ukubhala phantsi iimvakalelo zakho kunye neengcamango ezivele.
   • Cinga ngendlela onokuwabandakanya ngayo la mandla kubomi bakho bemihla ngemihla.

Ziqhelise lo msebenzi rhoqo ukomeleza uqhagamshelo lwakho kumandla obomi bakho obuphambili. Oku kunokukunceda ukhulise ukuzithemba okunempilo kwaye uzive womelele xa ujongene nokuziphatha okunetyhefu kwe-narcissistic.

Ubungqina kumava e-narcissism yokuqala: ukuzaliseka kobuthixo

Ngenye imini ndeva ukuzola ngokupheleleyo kunyuka esiswini sam. Yayiyimvakalelo engakholelekiyo, ngathi yonke into yafezekiswa ngaloo mandla. Kwakungekho nto yokwenza, akukho nto imele igqitywe. Ndiye ndaqonda ukuba kulapho isitshixo sethu, usindiso lwethu lulele khona – kunxibelelwano lwethu ne-primary narcissism.

Kufana nokukhutshelwa kuza kum ngobuninzi. Ndikhumbula into endiyicwangcise. Kunje: kuqala, wena unguThixo. Emva koko uzixelele ukuba awukho, uyazazi, kwaye ufuna ukuqinisekiswa. Kwaye ke uthatha indlela echaseneyo ukubuyela kuThixo ongaphakathi kuwe.

Kule meko, awusweli nto. Ayinakuthelekiswa ne-orgasm-igqithise kakhulu. Kwi-ayahuasca, ephezulu kakhulu, ngamanye amaxesha unokufikelela kuyo. Kufana nokuba yonke iminqweno yakho izalisekile, yonke into igqityiwe. Kodwa kwi-ayahuasca, inamandla ngakumbi kuba yonke into iyandiswa kwaye iphazamiseke ngakumbi, ngendlela eyahlukileyo.

Kodwa, Thixo wam, xa uqhagamshela kule nto iphambili ngokwemvelo, ekuphela kwento ephumayo kukuphefumla kobuthixo. Ngamava awodwa, anzulu, ngaphaya kwayo nantoni na ebendiyazi ngaphambili.

Obu bungqina bunika ingqiqo esondeleyo kunye neyomntu kumava e-primary narcissism. Ibamba ubunzulu beemvakalelo kunye nokomoya kolu nxibelelwano, ngelixa inxulumanisa nembono yengqondo ye-narcissism ephambili.

Iimpawu eziphambili ze-narcissism yesibini:

1. Ukubuyiswa kwe-libido ku-self: Amandla eemvakalelo kunye nengqwalasela eyayijoliswe kwabanye ijoliswe kuwe.
2. Impendulo yokulimala: Iyakwazi ukuphuhlisa njengendlela yokukhusela xa ujongene nokuphoxeka, ukwenzakala okanye ukungaphumeleli kobudlelwane.
3. Imfuno egqithisileyo yokuncoma: Umntu uhlala efuna ukuqinisekiswa kunye nokuvunywa kwabanye.
4. Ukusilela kwe-empathy: Kunzima ukuqaphela okanye ukuqwalasela iimvakalelo neemfuno zabanye.
5. Imvakalelo yokuba wongamile: Utyekelo lokuzibona ukhethekile kwaye ufanelwe lunyango olulodwa.
6. Amaphupha empumelelo engenamkhawulo: Amaphupha amakhulu anamandla, ubuhle okanye impumelelo.
7. Ukuxhaphaza Abanye: Ukusebenzisa ubudlelwane ukuphumeza iinjongo zomntu, ngaphandle kokucingela abanye.

I-narcissism yesibini inokuzibonakalisa ngokwamanqanaba ahlukeneyo. Kwimeko yayo egqithisileyo, kunokukhokelela kwingxaki yobuntu be-narcissistic. Kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba i-narcissism yesibini ayisoloko i-pathological.

Amandla e-narcissism yesibini: amandla anzima kunye ambivalent

Amandla e-narcissism yesibini ahluke kakhulu kulowo we-primary narcissism. Ibonakaliswe ngobunzima ngakumbi kwaye ihlala iphikisana.

Iimpawu zeSekondari zeNarcissism zaMandla:

1. I-Fluctuating intensity: La mandla anokuhamba phakathi kweencopho eziphakamileyo kunye nemikhombe enzulu.
2. QOutward orientation: Nangona uzimele, la mandla axhomekeke ngokumangalisayo kukuqinisekiswa kwangaphandle.
3. Indalo ekhuselayo: Ihlala isebenza njengekhaka, ikhusela umntu oethe-ethe ukuba angabonwa okanye enzekaliswa ngokwenene.
4. Umgangatho wembuyekezo: La mandla athande ukubuyisela iimvakalelo ezinzulu zokungafaneleki okanye ukuzithoba.
5. I-Cyclic character: Inokulandela ipatheni yomjikelo we-devaluation kunye nokuhla kwexabiso, wena kunye nabanye.
6. AuMba womthengi: Uthanda “ukusebenzisa” ingqwalasela kunye nokuncoma kwabanye ukuze azigcine.
7. Indalo engqubanayo: La mandla ahlala engqubana nawo ngokwawo kunye nokusingqongileyo kwangaphandle.
8. Umgangatho osebenzayo: Ihlala ibonakaliswa “ngokusebenza” okuthe rhoqo okujoliswe ekuboniseni umfanekiso wemfezeko okanye ukongama.
9. I-Vampiric Aspect: Kwiimbonakaliso zayo ezigqithisileyo, la mandla anokubonakala ngathi “i-vampirize” amandla abanye ukuzigcina.
10. Adaptive Rigidity: Nangona ikwazi ukuziqhelanisa ukuze ifumane oko ikufunayo, la mandla akanako ukuguquguquka okuyimfuneko ekukhuleni kobuqu bokwenyani.

Umthambo: Ukulungelelanisa kunye nokuthomalalisa amandla eNarcissism yeSekondari

Lo msebenzi ujolise ekuqondeni, ukwamkela kunye nokulinganisa imiba ye-narcissism yesibini kuwe, ngelixa uhlakulela ukuzithemba okuzinzile kunye nokwenyani.

Ubude bexesha: Malunga nemizuzu engama-20-30

1. Ukulungiselela:
   • Fumana indawo ezolileyo nekhululekileyo.
   • Yiba nencwadi yokubhalela kunye nosiba olukwisandla.
   • Thatha uphefumlo onzulu ukuze uzibeke embindini wakho.
2. Isazisi:
   • Vala amehlo akho kwaye ucinge ngexesha lamva nje apho uziva unesidingo esinamandla sokuqondwa okanye ukuqinisekiswa.
   • Phawula iimvakalelo zomzimba ezinxulumene nale mfuno.
   • Jonga ezi mvakalelo ngaphandle kokugweba, ukwamkela ngobubele.
3. Incoko yangaphakathi:
   • Cinga ukuba le nxalenye yakho ifuna ukuqinisekiswa yi-child yangaphakathi.
   • Buza ngobubele: “Yintoni oyifunayo ngokwenene?”
   • Phulaphula ngenyameko impendulo.
4. Ukuzivela:
   • Beka isandla esinye entliziyweni yakho kunye nesinye esiswini sakho.
   • Tshela umntwana wakho wangaphakathi, “Ndiyakuva, ndiyakubona, kwaye ndiyakwamkela njengoko unjalo.”
   • Phefumla ngokunzulu, ucinga ukuba ugubungela le nxalenye yakho ngothando nokuqonda.
5. Ukubambelela kumaxabiso akho:
   • Cinga ngeempawu ezintathu okanye izinto ezixabisekileyo ozixabisayo ngawe.
   • Kwinto nganye, fumana umzekelo obambekayo wendlela owubonakalise ngayo mva nje.
6. Umbono wokulinganisela:
   • Cinga amandla akho njengokukhanya ngaphakathi kuwe.
   • Yiba nomfanekiso ngqondweni woku kukhanya.
   • Yibone ikhula ngobunono ngakuwe, isenza ibala elilungeleleneyo nelizolileyo lamandla.
7. Ingqinisekiso elungileyo:
   • Yenza isiqinisekiso esiqaphela ixabiso lakho elingaphakathi,
   • Phinda le ngxelo izihlandlo ezininzi, uyive nzulu.
8. Intshukumo ebambekayo:
   • Cinga ngesenzo esinye esincinci onokuthi usenze namhlanje ukuze uzikhathalele, ngaphandle kokufuna imvume kwabanye.
9. Iyavala:
   • Thatha ukuphefumla kancinci kancinci.
   • Zibulele ngalo mzuzu wokuzazisa kunye novelwano.
10. Umboniso:
    • Kwincwadi yakho yamanqaku, bhala phantsi izimvo zakho ngalo msebenzi kunye nokuqonda obunakho.

Ziqhelise lo msebenzi rhoqo ukuze uphuhlise ubudlelwane obunempilo kunye nemiba ye-narcissistic yobuntu bakho.

Ukuphuhliswa kwe-narcissism yabantwana kunye nobudlelwane babo kunye nesondo

I-narcissism yabantwana inxulumene ngokusondeleyo nokuphuhliswa kwesondo kubantwana. UFreud wazisa ingcamango yeprayimari narcissism ngo-1914. Eli nqanaba lithetha ukuba umntwana utyala onke amandla akhe engqondo kuye. U-Otto Kernberg uye wacebisa ukuba ukuphuhliswa kwe-pathological narcissism kunokudibaniswa nokuphazamiseka ekuhlanganiseni ubundlongondlongo kunye ne-libido ngexesha lokuqala lokuphuhliswa kwengqondo.

Uphuhliso lwe-narcissism luphenjelelwa zizenzo kunye nenkcubeko yabazali. Abaphandi banamhlanje baye baqaphela ukwanda kweempawu ze-narcissistic kuluntu. I-narcissism yobuntwana yinkqubo yophuhliso entsonkothileyo ephononongwa ziingcali ezininzi.

Narcissism ngokutsho Lacan

KuLacan, i-narcissism ayikukuthanda nje, kodwa ubudlelwane obunzima phakathi kwesihloko kunye nomfanekiso wakhe.

Iimbonakalo :

1. Ukwahlukaniswa: umxholo uchonga ngomfanekiso ongenguye ngokwenene
2. Inkohliso yokuzaliseka: umfanekiso wesibuko unika ingcamango yobuxoki yobunye
3. Ukungaqondi kakuhle: umbandela awuhoyi ulwahlulo lwakhe lwangaphakathi

ULacan ugxininisa ukubaluleka koMnye (abazali, uluntu) ekusekweni kwe-narcissism.

I-Narcissistic pathologies-Lacan kunye nokuphazamiseka kwe-narcissistic: ukulungiswa kwinqanaba lesipili

I-Lacan inikezela ngombono malunga nokuphazamiseka kwe-narcissistic ngenxa yokulungiswa kwinqanaba lesipili. KuLacan, isiteji sesibuko sisihlandlo sokuqala kulwakhiwo lwengqondo. Ukulungiswa kweli nqanaba kunokukhokelela kwiingxaki ze-narcissistic.

Isikhumbuzo sombono

• Ixesha eliphakathi kweenyanga ezi-6 kunye ne-18
• Umntwana uyaziqonda kwisibuko kwaye uchonga lo mfanekiso

Ukubaluleka kophuhliso

• Ukwakheka kwe-Ego
• Ukuqala kokuhlukana phakathi kwakho kunye nabanye

Mirror ukulungiswa kweqonga

Ukulungiswa kwenzeka xa uphuhliso lwengqondo luhlala “lubambekile” kwinqanaba elithile.

Iimpawu zefasteners

• Utyalo-mali olugqithisileyo kumfanekiso wobuqu
• Ubunzima boyisa inkohliso yokuphelela
• Ukuzingisa kobudlelwane obuyintelekelelo kunye nawe

Ukubonakaliswa kokuphazamiseka kwe-narcissistic ngokutsho kukaLacan

Ubudlelwane nomfanekiso

• Ukuxhalaba ngokugqithiseleyo ngenkangeleko
• Isidingo esiqhubekayo sokuqinisekiswa kwangaphandle
• Ubunzima bokwamkela ukungafezeki

Ubudlelwane nabanye

• Omnye ubonwa njengesibuko okanye ukwandiswa kwakho
• Ubunzima bokuqonda omnye umntu
• Ukuthambekela kokubonisa ubudlelwane

Fragility ye-ego

• Hypersensitivity ukugxekwa
• Ukutshintshana phakathi kobukhulu kunye nokuziva ungafaneleki
• Isidingo esithe gqolo sokukhusela umfanekiso wesiqu sakho

Ubunzima kunye nesimboli

• Iingxaki ekusetyenzisweni kolwimi neesimboli
• Utyekelo lokuhlala kwirejista yentelekelelo
• Ubunzima bokwamkela ukuthenwa ngokomfuziselo (imida, umthetho)

Clinical iziphumo & Indlela yoNyango

• Sebenzela kulwalamano lwentelekelelo lwesigulana kunye naye
• Ukukhuthaza ukucaciswa komfuziselo
• Uhlalutyo lokudluliselwa njengento ebonisa ubudlelwane be-narcissistic.

Ingqikelelo kaJung yomntu ngamnye

Ukuze siqonde indlela kaJung, kufuneka siqale sithethe ngombono wakhe wobuntu:

• Yinkqubo athi umntu abe ngumntu okhethekileyo ngokwasengqondweni
• Kubandakanya ukudityaniswa kwemiba yobuntu.

Imeko yokuqala yengqondo ngokutsho kukaJung

UJung wabona ukukhula kwengqondo njengokuqala kwimeko yokuqala apho:

• Akukho mahluko ucacileyo phakathi komntu siqu kunye nehlabathi langaphandle
• Umntwana uhlala kwindawo “yokuthatha inxaxheba okungaqondakaliyo” kunye nokusingqongileyo
• Lo mbuso unokuthelekiswa noko abanye iithiyori bakubiza ngokuba yi-primary narcissism.

Ukuphilisa kumbono weJungian

KuJung, ukuphilisa i-narcissism kubandakanya:

• Ukuqatshelwa kweengqikelelo zengqondo
• Ukudityaniswa kwemiba engazi nto yobuntu
• Ukuphuhliswa kobudlelwane obuphilileyo phakathi kwe-ego kunye ne-Self.

Indiduation, uThixo ngokwayo kunye narcissism ephambili

Ithiyori ecetywayo itsala impefumlelo evela kuJung noFreud kodwa idlulela ngaphaya, ibeka i-narcissism ephambili embindini wokuqonda kukaThixo. Sizalwa singcwele kodwa siyaqhekeka xa singena kumava asemhlabeni. Injongo yobomi kukudibanisa isithunzi sethu kunye nokuhlanganisa amalungu ethu aqhekekileyo. I-narcissism ephambili, eqondwa ngokufanelekileyo, ibonwa njengendlela eya kwimo yethu yokuqala yobuthixo.

Le nkqubo ibandakanya ukwamkela zonke iindawo zakho ngothando olungagungqiyo. Ubomi buvezwa njengamava e-cosmic yolwahlulo emva koko kudityaniswa. Le ithiyori ibeka i-narcissism ephambili njengesitshixo ekuqondeni ubume bethu bobuthixo emhlabeni.