I-savior syndrome othandweni

I-Savior syndrome othandweni: “Ungisindisile sithandwa sami!! “Uyiqhawe lami” – lolu hlobo lwesisho oluphindwaphindwa kumanoveli othando lubonakala luyinkulumo nje engasho lutho. Ngakho-ke kunzima ukukholelwa ukuthi lokhu kungathathwa ngokungathi sína ebudlelwaneni bangempela. Kodwa-ke, ngaphakathi kohlaka lwe-savior syndrome othandweni lesi yisimo esingabonwa.

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I-Savior syndrome othandweni: kuyini?

Nakuba ingekho ohlwini lwe-Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. THE i-savior syndrome kusewukuphazamiseka kwengqondo okukhona kakhulu emphakathini wethu. Izibonakalisa ngesidingo soku ukuqashelwa kanye nokubonga kwabaseduze kwakhe.

Phakathi kwabashadikazi, lokhu ngokuyinhloko kuphumela eqinisweni lokuthi umuntu ophethwe yilesi sifo uyokwenza funa ukuqashelwaLokhu kusho ukuthi lowo muntu uzobonisa ukuzidela ukuzikhukhumeza kumlingani wakhe. Ukuba khona kwalokhu kulindela kungaba nemiphumela emibi ngoba umuntu uzofuna ukunakwa okukhethekile ngalokho akwenzayo.

Uhlushwa yi-savior syndrome othandweni: Izimpawu okufanele zikuxwayise

Uma sizisekela esifundweni se UMary C. Lamia et UMarylin J. Krieger, izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo ezimbili zaseMelika, kunezimpawu ezehlukene ezikuxwayisa ngalokhu kuziphatha.

• Uzovame ukumboza umlingani wakhe wothando thanda amabhomu. Phakathi nalesi sigaba, emehlweni akhe, uthando lwakhe luvutha umlilo ovuthayo. Kuyoba njalo ukuthi omunye uzozizwa egcwele uthando engaboni ukuthi kwenzekani ngemuva kwalo.
• Noma ubani othintwe yilesi sifo uzonaka kakhulu isimo somlingani wakhe. Ngaleyo ndlela uyogwema noma iziphi izinkulumo ezilimazayo.
• Kwezinye izimo, uhlala ebudlelwaneni ngenxa yecala elilula. Nakuba engasenandaba ngempela nomunye. Ezibona engumsindisi wakhe, ngeke afune ukuhamba.
• Ungase futhi uthambekele ekukholelweni ukuthi uyakwazi okuhle kumlingani wakho. Umsindisi uzofuna ukulawula lokho okwenziwa enye ingxenye yakhe ukuze imvikele.
• Umthandi womsindisi ekuphathweni kwakhe. Lona wakamuva angakwazi ukubeka izidingo zakhe ngemuva futhi azigxeke kakhulu. Ngisho kuze kube seqophelweni lokuthi emehlweni akhe, umlingani wakhe akayibongi imizamo ayenzayo. Lokhu kungaphusha umsindisi aphume imisho ekwenza uzizwe unecala.

Ingabe umbhangqwana osekelwe ku-love savior syndrome ungahlala?

Uthandana nini futhi kanjani nomsindisi wakho? Ingabe uthando oluqotho? Abantu abaningi babuza lo mbuzo. Isizathu sivela ekutheni siye sicabange ukuthi umuntu osuke ezosikhipha enkingeni uyena esimdingayo. Sizitshela ukuthi lo muntu kumele abe ngakimi. Lokhu kuqiniswa nakakhulu ku umuntu one-hypersensitive, ukuthi umuntu one-savior syndrome uyoba yinhle yakhe.

Nokho, lolu hlobo lobudlelwano luyingozi kakhulu. Isizathu salokhu yingoba ukunamathiselwa okutholwa yibo bobabili abantu kususelwa ekuphazamisekeni. Eyakamuva ikude nokuba yinto ezinzile, lokhu kungazinzi kungabangela ukuthi izithandani zihlukane. Ngempela, uma ekuqaleni, singacabanga ukuthi umsindisi nomsindisi banobuntu obuphelelisanayo. Esikhathini eside lokhu akwenzeki ngempela.

I-Love savior syndrome – Ingabe ubuhlobo obunobuthi?

Kwezinye izimo, lokhu kungaguqukela ngokushesha ohlotsheni lobuhlobo obunobuthi. Ikakhulukazi uma umsindisi enquma ukuzinika ukulawula okwengeziwe. Empeleni anganquma ukulawula umlingani wakhe. Isizathu esizoshiwo kuzobe kuwukuthi uzenzela yena lokhu. Futhi ukuthi uyazi ukuthi yini enhle kumlingani wakhe. Kusuka kulo mbono lapho umsindisi angashintsha abe yi-narcissistic pervert. Uzosebenzisa abasindisiwe abangeke bakwazi ukuphikisana nalezi zinqumo.

Elinye iphuzu elizothonya ubuthi balobu budlelwano lisesimo somsindisi. Lena indaba ka-sukwesabisa umenzi wobubi. Ukuze angalahlekelwa umuntu ongumthombo wakhe wokuqashelwa, ukulungele ukwenza noma yini. Lokhu kungabandakanya izindlela ezithuthukisiwe zokukhohlisa noma ingcindezi. Kuze kube seqophelweni lokuthi ukugcina isisulu sakhe ebudlelwaneni uzophenduka abe yi-narcissistic pervert. Ngakho zibuze umbuzo: Ingabe ngisebudlelwaneni obunobuthi?

Umsindisi – Ubudlelwano obusindisiwe?

Lobu budlelwano buqhamuka ku inganekwane yeqhawe elimhlophe. Kodwa i-white knight syndrome ihlangene ngani nothando? Lokhu kungenxa yesithombe se-utopian esanyakazisa ubuntwana nokuthomba kwabantu abaningi.

Indaba yeqhawe elimhlophe elifika ukuzohlenga inkosazana iyisithombe abanye abantu abanaso sothando. Kangangoba emehlweni abo umlingani wabo nguyena nje ozobe ekhululekile kakhulu ekuphileni kwabo okubuthuntu nokudangala. Futhi ngaphezu kwakho konke, iyisixazululo senkinga yabo yonke. Nakuba umsindisi, enjalo, uzibona enguye ozophatha yonke into. Emehlweni akhe akuyena umaqondana osezingeni elifana nelakhe. Kodwa umuntu nje amphethe, nomuntu okufanele amnakekele.

Ngakho-ke ubudlelwano phakathi komsindisi nabasindisiwe bungubudlelwano obuphelele. Kungaholela ekubukekeni kwe-a umkhohlisi womzwelo.

I-bibliographic reference on savior syndrome othandweni

Nazi izikhombo eziyisikhombisa zebhayibhili ngendikimba ethi “love savior syndrome”:

1. U-Coulon, A. (2016). I-Savior Syndrome: ukuqonda ukwenza kangcono. Paris: Editions de la Maison des sciences de l’homme.
2. Bourdon, P. (2018). Uthando nokuncika emoyeni: lapho umsindisi eba isisulu. Lyon: Editions PUG.
3. Vignoles, V. (2017). Ubudlelwano obunobuthi: phakathi kokuhlenga nokukhohlisa. Toulouse: Éditions Erès.
4. ULévy, P. (2020). I-Psychology yobudlelwane bothando: ukuqonda i-savior syndrome. I-Marseille: Editions L’Harmattan.
5. U-Fischer, C. (2019). I-Emotional dependence kanye ne-savior syndrome: umbuthano ononya. I-Paris: Éditions Eyrolles.
6. U-Pichon, M. (2021). I-Psychology yokuziphatha kothando: phakathi kokuhlenga nokulahlwa. EBrussels: De Boeck Supérieur.
7. Dufour, J. (2015). Umsindisi othandweni: inganekwane noma iqiniso?. Grenoble: Éditions Glénat.

Lezi zithenjwa kufanele zikunikeze isiqalo esihle sokuhlola isihloko se-love savior syndrome.

Isiphetho

Sengiphetha, i-love savior syndrome, nakuba ivame ukwenziwa ngendlela efanelekile ngokwesiko elidumile, iveza ukuguquguquka kobudlelwane obuyinkimbinkimbi nobungase bube yingozi. Ukulindela ukuqashelwa nokulawula kungaholela ekungalinganini ngokomzwelo, kuguqule okungaba uthando oluqotho kube ubuhlobo obuyinhlekelele. Kubalulekile ukuqaphela lezi zimpawu ukuze ulondoloze impilo yakho yengqondo futhi ufise ubudlelwano obunokulinganisela nobuyiqiniso. Ngokuqonda izindlela ze-savior syndrome, wonke umuntu angakwazi ukubona ngeso lengqondo ubudlelwano bothando obunempilo, obusekelwe ekuhloniphaneni nasekulinganeni.