Intombi yam iphantsi kweempembelelo ze-narcissistic manipulator: kufuneka ndenze ntoni njengomzali?

Akafane afowune. Uyakurhoxisa ukutya kwentsapho ngomzuzu wokugqibela. Ubonakala ediniwe, exinezelekile, wehlile emzimbeni okanye ngokuchaseneyo akasazihoyi. Xa umbuza, ukhusela iqabane lakhe ngamandla akukhathazayo. Kwaye wena, mzali, ungqina ngokungenakunceda into oyivayo: intombi yakho iphantsi kwempembelelo ye-manipulator.

Le yimeko ebuhlungu ngokukodwa. Intombi yakho ikhulile, inelungelo lokuzikhethela. Kodwa uyabona ukuba iyaphuma. Yintoni onokuyenza ngaphandle kokuphulukana nayo? Ndingamnceda njani ngaphandle kokumtyhala ngakumbi kuye?

Eli nqaku likunika izikhokelo ezibambekayo zokuluqonda ulawulo, ukuqonda ukuba kutheni intombi yakho “ingayiboni” into oyibonayo, kwaye ube nesimo sengqondo esigcina ucango luvulekile.

Iimpawu ekufuneka zikulumkisile

Impembelelo ayisoloko ibonakala ekuqaleni. Endaweni yoko, lutshintsho olongezelelekileyo oluthi, luthatyathwe kunye, lupeyinte umfanekiso okhathazayo.

Utshintsho kubudlelwane nawe

• Ukubona encipha, ehlala enezizathu ezingacacanga.
• Xa nikunye, usoloko ekhona, okanye usoloko ejonga ifowuni yakhe.
• Ubonakala exela amazwi akho kwiqabane lakhe, aze akusole.
• Uphinda-phinda izigxeko ngawe ezingafaniyo naye: “Ubusoloko ungenelela”, “Awuzange undixhase”.

Utshintsho kuye

• Wayephulukene novuyo lwakhe lokuphila, uburharha, nokuzenzela nje izinto.
• Uyathandabuza, uhlala ecela uxolo, ecela imvume yezinto ezilula.
• Wayeka imisebenzi, abahlobo, ngamanye amaxesha umsebenzi wakhe.
• Akasenako ukufikelela simahla kwimali yakhe.
• Ubonakala exhalabile, ediniwe, okanye uneengxaki zempilo.

Into oyibonayo ngaye

• Unomtsalane kuwe, kodwa ubona ukuba kukho into engalunganga.
• Uyayibuyisela, ayilungise, ayihlekise phambi kwakho, “ngenxa yokuhleka”.
• Uthatha isigqibo ngaye, amthethele.
• Uzenza ixhoba losapho lwakho.

Ukuqonda ngcono le profayili, unokufunda inqaku lethu my isoka liyi-narcissistic pervert, ebhalwe ngokwembono yexhoba. Inokukunceda ukuba uqonde into ayivayo ngaphakathi.

Kutheni intombi yakho ingayiboni lento uyibonayo?

Lo ngumbuzo ovela rhoqo phakathi kwabazali. “Uhlakaniphile, angayamkela njani lento?” » Impendulo ixhomekeke ekusebenzeni kolawulo, olungenanto yakwenza nobukrelekrele.

Ulwalamano lwaqala njengephupha

Ekuqaleni, wayenomdla, encoma, ekhona kakhulu. Intombi yakho iwugcina engqondweni lo mfanekiso kwaye inethemba lokuwufumana kwakhona. Umzuzu ngamnye wokuthantamisa uvuselela eli themba.

Ukuhla kwexabiso kuye kwayithoba intembelo yakhe

Iinyanga zamazwi ahlabayo ekugqibeleni ziye zamqinisekisa ukuba unovelwano kakhulu, akalungelanga ngokwaneleyo, unethamsanqa ukuba uyamnyamezela. Lo matshini uchazwe kwinqaku lethu kwi-devaluation kwi couple.

Ukuba wedwa kunqumle iibheringi zakho

Xa ebona kancinane abathandekayo bakhe, uya kuba namanqaku ambalwa okuthelekisa anawo. Ubunyani bakhe buhluzwa nguye. Sichaza le nkqubo kwinqaku lethu le-social isolation.

Iintloni kunye noloyiko

Usenokuba neentloni ngoko ajamelene nako, woyika ukukuphoxa, esoyika indlela asabela ngayo kuye xa ezityand’ igila kuye. Ukuqaphela ulawulo kukwathetha ukuqonda ukuba wayengalunganga, nto leyo ebuhlungu kakhulu.

Uphando ngolawulo olunyanzelwayo luchaza kakuhle ezi ndlela zokuzihlukanisa, ukubeka iliso kunye nokuxhomekeka. Uhlalutyo lwe-meta (Lohmann et al., 2024) inxulumanisa ukuvezwa kolawulo olunyanzelwayo kunye neempawu zokuxinzezeleka emva kokuphazamiseka kunye nokudandatheka. Uphononongo lwakutsha nje olwenziwa phakathi kwabathandekayo babantu abane-narcissistic kakhulu (Day et al., 2025) idibanisa i-pathological narcissism kulawulo olunyanzelwayo kubudlelwane.

Ukuqonda nzulu ngakumbi into eyenzekayo entloko yakhe, funda ifayile yethu Qoqosho lwengqondo.

Iimpazamo ekufuneka uziphephe

Xa ubona umntwana wakho ebandezeleka, ufuna ukwenza ngokukhawuleza kwaye ngamandla. Nangona kunjalo, ukusabela okuthile, kwanabo bazele luthando, kusemngciphekweni wokumtyhalela kude.

• Ukuhlasela iqabane lakho ngokuthe ngqo. “Ugqwethekile, myeke!” » Uya kuziva ebophelelekile ukuba amkhusele, kwaye uya kuba nobungqina bokuba “uchasene nabo”.
• Issing an ultimatum. “Nguye okanye thina. » Ephantsi kwempembelelo, ubeka emngciphekweni wokumkhetha, kwaye azifumane eyedwa nangakumbi.
• Ukumgweba. “Ungayamkela njani le nto?” Iintloni ziya kumthulisa.
• Mxelele yonke into ngaxeshanye. Uluhlu lokugxekwa ngaye luya kufunyanwa njengohlaselo.
• Ukucinywa komlilo ngenxa yokudimazeka. Yile nto kanye ifunwa ngumqhatha.

Uluhlu lokuhlola: indlela yokunceda intombi yakho ngaphandle kokuphulukana nayo

1. Gcina ikhonkco, nokuba yintoni na iindleko. Iifowuni eziqhelekileyo, imiyalezo emfutshane, izimemo ezilula. Nokuba usoloko esala, mazise ukuba ucango luvuliwe.
2. Thetha ngaye, hayi yena. “Ndicinga ukuba udiniwe, unjani?” Kunokuba “Ukuphatha kakubi”.
3. Buza imibuzo evulelekileyo. “Uziva njani kubudlelwane bakho?” “Yintoni ekwenza wonwabe ngoku?” » Myeke afikelele kwisigqibo sakhe.
4. Mkhumbuze ukuba ungubani na. Thetha ngeempawu zakhe, izinto azithandayo, impumelelo yakhe. Uyamnceda ukuba akhe kwakhona umfanekiso wakhe azama ukuwonakalisa.
5. Hlala kwindawo ekhuselekileyo. Mxelele ngokucacileyo: “Nantoni na eyenzekayo, unokuza apha, ngaphandle kwengcaciso, ngaphandle kwesingcikivo.
6. Ngobuchule lungiselela umnatha wokhuseleko. Igumbi elikhoyo, imali encinci ecaleni, iinkcukacha zoqhagamshelwano zombutho, igqwetha.
7. Zazisa wena. Ukuqonda ulawulo kuya kukunceda uhlale unomonde kwaye ungathathi ukusabela kwabo ngokobuqu.
8. Zinakekele. Ukubona umntwana wakho ebandezeleka kuyadinisa. Thetha nomntu oqeqeshiweyo okanye nabanye abazali abatyhubela into efanayo.

Uya kufumana ezinye iingcebiso kwinqaku lethu ukunceda njani ixhoba le-narcissistic pervert.

Xa kukho ingozi

Ngamanye amaxesha ulawulo lukhatshwa bubundlobongela bomzimba, izoyikiso, okanye uloyiko lokhuseleko lwentombi yakho okanye abantwana bayo. Kule meko, umonde awusenelanga.

• Kwimeko yengozi ekhawulezileyo, fowunela 17 okanye 112.
• I-3919 (I-Violences Femmes Info) iphinda iphendule kwizalamane zamaxhoba: ungabiza iingcebiso.
• Iwebhusayithi esemthethweni Masiluyeke ubundlobongela dwelisa imibutho kunye nemibutho ekufutshane nawe.
• Ukuba abantwana bachanabeke kubundlobongela, 119 (Molo ebuntwaneni obusengozini) banokuqhagamshelwana nabo.

Intombi yakho ekubeni ikhulile, iinkqubo ezininzi zomthetho (isikhalazo, umyalelo wokhuseleko) kuya kufuneka ziphume kuyo. Kodwa inkxaso yakho, ubungqina bakho kunye noncedo lwakho oluphathekayo lungenza wonke umahluko mhla ethatha isigqibo.

Kuthekani ukuba unabantwana?

Xa intombi yakho ingumama, ixhala lakho liphindaphindeka: ucinga nabazukulwana bakho. Apha kwakhona, isilingo sikhulu ukungenelela ngentloko. Noko ke, eyona ndima yakho ibalulekileyo ngokufuthi ihlala iyeyotatomkhulu nomakhulu ozinzileyo noqinisekisayo.

• Cela ukubukela abantwana rhoqo: lixesha lokuphumla kwintombi yakho kunye nendawo ekhuselekileyo kubo.
• Phulaphula into abayithethayo ungakhange ubabuze okanye ugxeke uyise phambi kwabo.
• Ngobulumko qaphela ukuba yintoni ekukhathazayo (amagama, indlela yokuziphatha, amanqaku), kunye nemihla.
• Ukuba ubona ingozi emntwaneni, musa ukushiywa wedwa nale nkcazelo: 119 ikhona loo nto.

Ubukho bakho bubonisa abantwana ukuba kukho ezinye iindlela, ezithambileyo nezikhuselekileyo zokuhlala ubudlelwane.

Mhla ehamba

Ukuba intombi yakho ithatha isigqibo sokushiya iqabane layo, ixesha elilandelayo lihlala libuthathaka. Usenokufuna ukumbuyisela ngezithembiso, izisongelo okanye ngokuzenza ixhoba. Usenokuthandabuza, ufuna ukubuya. Oku kuqhelekile, kwaye akuthethi ukuba wohlulekile.

Qhubeka ukubakho, ngaphandle kokuthi “Ndikuxelele njalo”. Mncede ngokunyanisekileyo: indawo yokuhlala, iinkqubo, ukunakekelwa kwabantwana. Mkhuthaze ukuba afune uncedo kwingcali ukuze aphinde akhe ubomi bakhe.

Ii-FAQs

Ngaba kufuneka ndiyixelele intombi yam ukuba iqabane layo liyi-narcissistic manipulator?

Kungcono ukuphepha iilebhile, ngakumbi ekuqaleni. Bahlala bevuselela impendulo yokuzikhusela. Kunoko, thetha ngezinto ozibona kuye nendlela ovakalelwa ngayo.

Intombi yam yandiqhawula phantsi kwempembelelo yakhe. Kwenziwe ntoni?

Hlala ukho ngobulumko: umyalezo ngamaxesha, ngaphandle kwesingcikivo, ukuze azi ukuba ulapho. Iibhondi ezisikiwe phantsi kweempembelelo zihlala zidibanisa kwakhona xa ixhoba liqala ukuvula amehlo abo.

Ngaba ndingafaka isikhalazo egameni lentombi yam?

Kumntu osele ekhulile, ngomgaqo nguye ofaka isikhalazo. Nangona kunjalo, ungaxela imeko enobungozi emapoliseni kwaye unike ubungqina. Igqwetha okanye umbutho unokukuxelela into enokwenzeka kwityala lakho.

Kuthatha ixesha elingakanani ukuba aqonde?

Awukho umhla wokugqibela oqhelekileyo. Oku kungathatha iinyanga, ngamanye amaxesha iminyaka. Indima yakho ayikokumnyanzela, kodwa kukuba ubekho xa sele elungile.

Ukuququmbela

Ukubona intombi yakho phantsi kwempembelelo ye-manipulator yintlungu efuna uthando oluninzi kunye nomonde. Awunako ukumkhupha apho ngenxa yakhe. Kodwa ungahlala olu phawu luqinileyo anokuthi abuyele kulo.

Ukuba nawe ufuna inkxaso ukuze udlule eli xesha okanye ukuqonda ngcono ukukhohlisa, ungafumanisa inkxaso enikezelwayo malunga nobudlelwane kunye ne-narcissistic pervert.

Ngeenkqubo zomthetho, qhagamshelana negqwetha okanye umbutho oxhasa amaxhoba. Ukuba impilo yakho ichaphazeleka, qhagamshelana nochwepheshe. Kwimeko yengozi: 3919, 17 okanye 112.

Imithombo

• Lohmann S. et al. (2024). I-Trauma kunye neMpilo yengqondo yeempembelelo zoLawulo oluQhelekileyo: Ukuphononongwa okuCwangcisiweyo kunye nohlalutyo lweMeta. Ukwenzakala, Ubundlobongela & Abuse.
• Usuku N.J.S. okqhubekayo. (2025). I-Ulawulo oluQhelekileyo kunye noBundlobongela boBuqabane obusondeleyo: Ubudlelwane kunye noBuntu beSifo soBuntu kunye ne-Pathological Narcissism. Ubuntu kunye nempilo yengqondo.
• Urhulumente. Masiluphelise ubundlobongela: ubundlobongela phakathi kwezibini .