Ifestile yokunyamezela: Isixhobo esibalulekileyo xa uphilisa amaxhoba

Ukuba yi- ixhoba le-narcissistic pervert ishiya amanqaku anzulu. Indlela eya ekuchacheni isenokubonakala inde kwaye inzima. Nangona kunjalo, ukuqonda ingcamango “yefestile yokunyamezela” ekuphiliseni kunokukunceda kakhulu kwinkqubo yakho yokubuyisela. Fumanisa ukuba le ngcamango ingalukhanyisela njani uhambo lwakho kwaye ikuvumela ukuba uphinde ulawule ubomi bakho.

Iyintoni ifestile yokunyamezela kumxholo wokuxhatshazwa kwe-narcissistic?

Ifestile yokunyamezela, ngamanye amaxesha ibizwa ngokuba yifestile yokuguquguquka, ingcamango ephambili yokuqonda indlela esisabela ngayo inkqubo yethu ye-nervous kuxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo. Kumxholo wobudlelwane kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator, le ngcamango ithatha intsingiselo yayo epheleleyo.

Ifestile yokunyamezela imele indawo efanelekileyo apho siyakwazi khona ukulawula iimvakalelo zethu kunye noxinzelelo lwemihla ngemihla. Yimeko apho siziva silungelelene, sikhona kwaye siyakwazi ukumelana nemingeni yobomi. Ngelishwa, ukusetyenziswa kakubi kwe-narcissistic kunokunciphisa kakhulu le festile, kusishiya sisengozini yokugqabhuka ngokweemvakalelo.

Ukuxhatshazwa kwenarcissistic kuyichaphazela njani ifestile yethu yokunyamezela?

Ukuvezwa ixesha elide kwi-narcissistic manipulator kudala imeko yesoyikiso esingapheliyo. Inkqubo yethu ye-nervous ihlala iphaphile, ethi ngokuthe ngcembe inciphise ukukwazi kwethu ukuhlala kule ndawo yokuthuthuzela ngokweemvakalelo.

Imiphumo inokuba mibi kakhulu:

• I-hypersensitivity kwi-stimuli yangaphandle
• Ubunzima bokulawula iimvakalelo zethu
• Utyekelo lokutyibilika ngokukhawuleza kumazwe oxinzelelo olukhulu okanye ukwahlukana.

Nakana imiqondiso ye-hyper-activation: Xa siphezu kwefestile

Xa sityhalelwa ngaphaya kwefestile yethu yokunyamezela, singena kwimo ye-hyper-activation. La maxesha siziva sisonganyelwe, sinexhala elinzulu okanye umsindo ongalawulekiyo.

Iimpawu ze-hyper-activation ukuba zibukele:

• Iingcinga zokubaleka
• Ukubetha kwentliziyo
• Ukuphefumla okukhawulezileyo, okungenzulu
• Uxinzelelo olukhulu lwemisipha
• Ubunzima bokugxila

Kule meko, phantse akunakwenzeka ukucinga ngokuzolileyo okanye ukwenza izigqibo ezisekelwe kulwalamano lwethu okanye ikamva lethu.

Ukuchonga i-hypo-activation: Xa singaphantsi kwefestile

Isichasi se-hyper-activation yi-hypo-activation. Yimeko “yokuqhawula unxibelelwano” apho siziva ndindisholo, sivalelwe kwinyani.

Iimpawu eziqhelekileyo ze-hypo-activation:

• Ukuziva ungento yanto ngokweemvakalelo
• Ubunzima bokuziva umzimba wakho
• Ukuziva “njengombukeli” wobomi bakho
• Ukulahlekelwa yinkuthazo kunye namandla
• Ubunzima bokugxila kunye nokukhumbula

Nangona le meko isenokubonakala icinezelekile kune-hyper-arousal, nayo iyingxaki kuba iyasithintela ekuthatheni inyathelo lentlalo-ntle yethu kunye nokhuseleko.

Kutheni kubalulekile ukwandisa ifestile yakho yokunyamezela xa uphilisa?

Ukwandisa ifestile yakho yokunyamezela kubalulekile ngenxa yezizathu ezininzi:

1. Oku kukuvumela ukuba uhlale kwimeko yokulinganisela ngokweemvakalelo ixesha elide.
2. Uba namandla ngakumbi xa ujongene noxinzelelo lwemihla ngemihla.
3. Uyakwazi ngcono ukudibanisa ulwazi kunye nezicwangciso eziyimfuneko zokuphilisa kwakho.
4. Ukukwazi kwakho ukwenza izigqibo ezicingisisiweyo ngobudlelwane bakho kuyaphucuka.
5. Ngokuthe ngcembe uphinda ube nemvakalelo yokulawula ubomi bakho.

Iindlela zokwandisa ifestile yakho yokunyamezela emva kokuxhatshazwa kwe-narcissistic

Nazi ezinye iindlela ezisebenzayo zokwandisa ifestile yakho yokunyamezela:

• Mindfulness: Ziqhelanise nemihla ngemihla yokucamngca ukuze uqinise ingqalelo yakho kulo mzuzu.
• Ukuphefumla kweDiaphragmatic: Funda ukuphefumla ngokunzulu ukuzolisa ngokukhawuleza inkqubo yakho yemithambo-luvo.
• Unyango lweSomatic: Phonononga iindlela ezifana neyoga okanye indlela yeFeldenkrais ukuphinda uqhagamshele umzimba nengqondo.
• EMDR: Olu nyango lunokukunceda uqhube iinkumbulo ezibuhlungu ezinxulumene nokuxhatshazwa kwe-narcissistic.
• Nxulumano lweNtliziyo: Le ndlela yokuphefumla enesingqi inokukubuyisela ngokukhawuleza kwifestile yakho yokunyamezela.

Ukubaluleka kovelwano kwinkqubo yokuphilisa

Njengoko usebenzela ukwandisa ifestile yakho yokunyamezelana, kubalulekile ukuhlakulela imfesane. Khumbula ukuba indlela osabela ngayo kumothuko ongaqhelekanga iqhelekile. Yiba nomonde kwaye ube nobubele kuwe, nangona uziva ukhululekile okanye “ubambekile” ekuphiliseni kwakho.

Indlela yokusebenzisa ulwazi lwefestile yakho yokunyamezela kubomi bemihla ngemihla?

Ukufunda ukuqaphela iimpawu ze-hyper- okanye i-hypo-activation ikuvumela ukuba wenze ngokukhawuleza ukuzibuyisela kwindawo yakho yokunyamezela. Nazi ezinye izicwangciso-qhinga:

• Gcina ijenali yeemvakalelo zakho kunye neemvakalelo zomzimba ukuchonga izinto ezikubangelayo.
• Yenza “ikiti yokusinda ngokweemvakalelo” ngezinto ezizolileyo, iziqinisekiso ezilungileyo, njl.
• Misela imida ecacileyo kubudlelwane bakho ukuze uphephe ukukhutshelwa ngaphandle kwendawo yakho yokuthuthuzela.
• Ziqhelise iindlela zokuphumla rhoqo ukomeleza ukomelela kwakho.

Indima yonyango ekwandiseni ifestile yokunyamezela

Ugqirha ojongene nomothuko kunye nokuxhatshazwa kwe-narcissistic unokukunceda:

• Ukuqonda iipatheni zakho zokuphendula uxinzelelo
• Phuhlisa amacebo omntu wokwandisa ifestile yakho yokunyamezela
• Ukujongana neNgxaki ePhambili egcina ifestile yakho imxinwa
• Ukukuxhasa ngamaxesha anzima ekuchacheni kwakho

Ungalibazisi ukufuna uncedo lweengcali, lutyalo-mali oluxabisekileyo kwimpilo-ntle yakho yexesha elide.

Umonde kunye nokunyamezela: Izitshixo zefestile eyandisiweyo yokunyamezela

Ukwandisa ifestile yakho yokunyamezela yinkqubo ethatha ixesha kunye nokusebenza. Kuya kubakho amahla ndinyuka, amaxesha apho uziva ngathi ubuyela umva. Oku kuqhelekileyo kwaye kuyingxenye yenkqubo yokuphilisa.

Khumbula ukuba inyathelo elincinci ngalinye libalulekile. Bhiyozela inkqubela yakho, nokuba incinci kangakanani na. Ngokuhamba kwexesha kunye nokuziqhelanisa, uya kufumanisa ukuba ukukwazi kwakho ukuhlala kwindawo yakho yokuthuthuzela ngokweemvakalelo kuyaphucuka, kukuvumela ukuba uphile ubomi obunokuthula nobunelisayo.

I-Bibliographic reference kwifestile yokunyamezela

Nazi iimbekiselo ezisixhenxe zebhayibhili kumxholo “wefestile yonyamezelo”:

1. Siegel, D. J. (2010). La mémoire de l’esprit : Les bases neurobiologiques de l’attachement et de la régulation émotionnelle. Éditions de l’Homme.
2. Kintz, A. (2016). La fenêtre de tolérance : Comprendre et élargir sa capacité à faire face aux émotions. Éditions Eyrolles.
3. Perrin, M. (2019). Psychotraumatologie : Enjeux et pratiques cliniques. Éditions Dunod.
4. Béatrice, F., & Poirier, A. (2017). Les émotions et leur régulation : Approches cliniques et théoriques. Presses Universitaires de France.
5. Cohen, S. (2015). Trauma et résilience : Approches thérapeutiques. Éditions L’Harmattan.
6. Levine, P. (2010). Trauma et mémoire : Guérir le corps et l’esprit. Éditions Guy Trédaniel.
7. Bion, W. R. (2010). Le désir d’être. Éditions Payot.

Ezi zikhombisi kufuneka zikunike isiseko esiluqilima sokuhlola ingcamango yefestile yokunyamezela kwiimeko ezahlukeneyo zesayensi kunye neklinikhi.

Isiphelo: Ngokubhekiselele kubomi obungenalo ulawulo lwe-narcissistic

Ukuqonda kunye nokusebenza kwifestile yakho yokunyamezelana linyathelo elibalulekileyo kuhambo lwakho lokuphilisa kuxhatshazo lwe-narcissistic. Ngokwandisa le festile, ngokuthe ngcembe uphinde ulawule iimvakalelo zakho kunye nobomi bakho.

Khumbula ukuba ukuphilisa akukho mgca. Kuya kubakho amaxesha okubuya umva, kodwa ngalo lonke ixesha ulawula ukuzibuyisela kwindawo yakho yonyamezelo, uyomeleza ukomelela kwakho. Ngomonde, ukunyamezela kunye nenkxaso efanelekileyo, unokoyisa imiphumo emva kweukusetyenziswa kakubi kwe-narcissistickunye nokwakha ubomi obanelisayo, obukhululekile kwimpembelelo yabo eyityhefu.

Unamandla kunokuba ucinga. Yonke imihla lithuba elitsha lokuphinda uqhagamshelane nawe kwaye uphinde ufumane ixabiso lakho elingaphakathi. Kholelwa kumandla akho okuphilisa kwaye uphumelele. Ifestile yakho yokunyamezela iya kwanda, kwaye nayo, amathuba amatsha aya kuvula ubomi obuzaliswe noxolo, ukunyaniseka kunye novuyo.