Iwindi Lokubekezelela: Ithuluzi elibalulekile lapho uphulukisa izisulu

kube isisulu somuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic Kushiya izibazi ezijulile. Indlela eya ekwelapheni ingabonakala inde futhi inzima. Kodwa-ke, ukuqonda umqondo “wefasitela lokubekezelelana” ngesikhathi sokwelashwa kungakusiza kakhulu enkambisweni yakho yokululama. Thola ukuthi lo mqondo ungakhanyisa kanjani uhambo lwakho futhi ukuvumele ukuthi uphinde ulawule impilo yakho.

Liyini iwindi lokubekezelelana kumongo wokuhlukunyezwa kwe-narcissistic?

Iwindi lokubekezelelana, ngezinye izikhathi elibizwa ngokuthi iwindi lokuguquguquka, liwumqondo oyinhloko wokuqonda ukusabela kwesistimu yethu yezinzwa ekucindezelekeni nasekuhlukumezeni. Kumongo wobudlelwano nomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic, lo mbono uthatha incazelo yawo ephelele.

Iwindi lokubekezelela limelela indawo ekahle lapho esikwazi khona lawula imizwa yakho nokucindezeleka kwansuku zonke. Kuyisimo lapho sizizwa silinganisele, sikhona futhi sikwazi ukubhekana nezinselele zempilo. Ngeshwa, ukuhlukunyezwa kwe-narcissistic kunganciphisa kakhulu leli windi, kusishiye engcupheni yokuqhuma kwemizwelo.

Ukuhlukunyezwa kwe-narcissistic kuthinta kanjani iwindi lethu lokubekezelelana?

Ukuchayeka isikhathi eside ku-narcissistic pervert kudala isimo sosongo olungapheli. Isimiso sethu sezinzwa sihlala siqaphile, okunciphisa kancane kancane ikhono lethu lokuhlala kule ndawo yokunethezeka ngokomzwelo.

Imiphumela ingaba mibi kakhulu:

• a hypersensitivity ezishukumisayo zangaphandle
• Ubunzima bokulawula imizwa yethu
• Ukuthambekela kokungena ngokushesha ezimeni zokucindezeleka okukhulu noma ukuhlukana.

Bona izimpawu ze-hyper-activation: Uma singaphezu kwefasitela

Uma siphushwa ngale kwewindi lethu lokubekezelelana, singena esimweni sokusebenza ngokweqile. Lezi yizikhathi lapho sizizwa sikhungathekile, sibhekana nokukhathazeka okukhulu noma intukuthelo engalawuleki.

Izimpawu ze-hyper-activation okufanele uzibukele:

• Imicabango yokugijima
• Ukushaya kwenhliziyo
• Ukuphefumula okusheshayo, okungajulile
• Ukuqina kwemisipha okukhulu
• Ubunzima bokugxila

Kulesi simo, cishe akunakwenzeka ukucabanga ngokuzolile noma ukwenza izinqumo ezinolwazi mayelana nobuhlobo bethu noma ikusasa lethu.

Ukuhlonza i-hypo-activation: Uma singaphansi kwewindi

Okuphambene ne-hyper-activation i-hypo-activation. Kuyisimo “sokunqanyulwa” lapho sizizwa sindikindiki, sihlukanisiwe neqiniso.

Izimpawu ezijwayelekile ze-hypo-activation:

• Ukuzizwa ungelutho ngokomzwelo
• Ubunzima bokuzwa umzimba wakho
• Ukuzizwa “njengesibukeli” sokuphila komuntu siqu
• Ukulahlekelwa ugqozi namandla
• Ubunzima bokugxila nokukhumbula

Nakuba lesi simo singase sibonakale sicindezela kakhulu kunokuvusa inkanuko, siyinkinga ngendlela efanayo ngoba sisivimbela ekuthatheni isinyathelo senhlalakahle yethu nokuphepha.

Kungani ukukhulisa iwindi lakho lokubekezelelana kubalulekile lapho uphulukisa?

Ukwandisa iwindi lakho lokubekezelelana kubalulekile ngenxa yezizathu ezimbalwa:

1. Lokhu kukuvumela ukuthi uhlale usesimweni sokulinganisela ngokomzwelo isikhathi eside.
2. Uba namandla okumelana nezingcindezi zansuku zonke.
3. Ukwazi kangcono ukuhlanganisa ulwazi namasu adingekayo ekwelapheni kwakho.
4. Ikhono lakho lokwenza izinqumo ezinengqondo mayelana nobudlelwano bakho liyathuthuka.
5. Kancane kancane uphinde ube nomuzwa wokulawula ukuphila kwakho.

Amasu okukhulisa iwindi lakho lokubekezelela ngemuva kokuhlukumeza okudabukisayo

Nazi ezinye izindlela ezisebenzayo zokwandisa iwindi lakho lokubekezelela:

• Ukuqaphela: Prakthiza izivivinyo zokuzindla nsuku zonke ukuze ugxilise ukunaka kwakho kulesi sikhathi samanje.
• Ukuphefumula kwe-diaphragmatic: Funda ukuphefumula ujule ukuthulisa ngokushesha isimiso sakho sezinzwa.
• Ukwelashwa kweSomatic: Hlola izindlela ezifana ne-yoga noma indlela ye-Feldenkrais ukuze uxhume kabusha umzimba nengqondo.
• I-EMDR: Lokhu kwelashwa kungakusiza ukucubungula izinkumbulo ezibuhlungu ezihlobene nokuhlukunyezwa kwe-narcissistic.
• Ukuhambisana kwenhliziyo: Le ndlela yokuphefumula enesigqi ingakubuyisela ngokushesha efasiteleni lakho lokubekezelela.

Ukubaluleka kokuzizwela enqubweni yokwelapha

Lapho usebenza ukuze wandise iwindi lakho lokubekezelelana, ukuhlakulela ububele kubalulekile. Khumbula ukuthi ukusabela kwakho kuvamile ekuhlukumezekeni okungavamile. Yiba nesineke futhi ube nomusa kuwe, ngisho nalapho uzizwa ukhungathekile noma “unamathele” ekwelapheni kwakho.

Ungalusebenzisa kanjani ulwazi lwefasitela lakho lokubekezelelana empilweni yakho yansuku zonke?

Ukufunda ukubona izimpawu ze-hyper- noma i-hypo-activation ikuvumela ukuthi uthathe isinyathelo ngokushesha ukuze uzibuyisele endaweni yakho yokubekezelelana. Nawa amasu athile:

• Gcina ijenali yemizwa yakho kanye nemizwa engokomzimba ukuze ubone izinto ezikubangelayo.
• Dala “ikhithi yokusinda ethinta imizwa” enezinto ezipholile, iziqinisekiso ezinhle, njll.
• Misa imingcele ecacile ebudlelwaneni bakho ukuze ugweme ukuphushwa endaweni yakho yokunethezeka.
• Zijwayeze izindlela zokuphumula njalo ukuze uqinise ukuqina kwakho.

Indima yokwelapha ekwandiseni iwindi lokubekezelelana

Umelaphi ogxile ekuhlukumezekeni nasekuhlukunyezweni kwe-narcissistic angakusiza:

• Ukuqonda amaphethini akho okuphendula ngokucindezeleka
• Dala amasu aqondene nawe ukuze unwebe iwindi lakho lokubekezelelana
• Ukubhekana Nokuhlukumezeka Okuyisisekelo Okugcina Iwindi Lakho Limncane
• Ukukusekela ngezikhathi ezinzima ekululameni kwakho

Ungangabazi ukufuna usizo lochwepheshe, kuwutshalomali olubalulekile enhlalakahleni yakho yesikhathi eside.

Ukubekezela nokubekezela: Izikhiye zewindi elinwetshiwe lokubekezelelana

Ukwandisa iwindi lakho lokubekezelelana kuyinqubo ethatha isikhathi nokuzijwayeza. Kuyoba khona ukukhuphuka nokwehla, izikhathi lapho uzizwa sengathi uhlehla. Lokhu kuvamile futhi kuyingxenye yenqubo yokuphulukisa.

Khumbula ukuthi zonke izinyathelo ezincane zibalulekile. Gubha intuthuko yakho, noma ngabe incane kangakanani. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi nokuzijwayeza, uzothola ukuthi ikhono lakho lokuhlala endaweni yakho yokunethezeka ngokomzwelo liyathuthuka, likuvumela ukuthi uphile impilo enokuthula negcwele.

Ireferensi ye-bibliographic efasiteleni lokubekezelela

Nazi izikhombo zebhayibheli eziyisikhombisa endikimbeni “yewindi lokubekezelelana”:

1. Siegel, D.J. (2010). Inkumbulo Yomqondo: Isisekelo Se-Neurobiological Sokunamathiselwa kanye Nokulawulwa Kwemizwa. Editions de l’Homme.
2. Kintz, A. (2016). Iwindi lokubekezelelana: Ukuqonda nokwandisa ikhono lakho lokubhekana nemizwa. Izinhlobo ze-Eyrolles.
3. U-Perrin, M. (2019). I-Psychotraumatology: Izinkinga kanye nemikhuba yomtholampilo. Dunod Editions.
4. UBéatrice, F., & Poirier, A. (2017). Imizwa kanye nokulawulwa kwayo: Izindlela zomtholampilo nezethiyori. I-Press Universitaires de France.
5. Cohen, S. (2015). Ukuhlukumezeka nokuqina: Izindlela zokwelapha. Editions L’Harmattan.
6. Levine, P. (2010). Ukuhlukumezeka kanye nenkumbulo: Ukuphulukisa umzimba nengqondo. Izinguqulo Guy Trédaniel.
7. UBion, W.R. (2010). Isifiso sokuba. Izinguqulo ze-Payot.

Lezi zithenjwa kufanele zikunikeze isisekelo esiqinile sokuhlola umqondo wefasitela lokubekezelela ezimweni ezehlukene zesayensi nezomtholampilo.

Isiphetho: Sibheke empilweni engenakho ukulawula i-narcissistic

Ukuqonda nokusebenza ngefasitela lakho lokubekezelelana kuyisinyathelo esibalulekile ohambweni lwakho lokuphulukisa kusukela ekuhlukunyezweni kwe-narcissistic. Ngokunweba leli windi, kancane kancane uthola ukulawula imizwa yakho nempilo yakho.

Khumbula ukuthi ukwelapha akukona umugqa. Kuzoba nezikhathi zokuhlehla, kodwa isikhathi ngasinye ukwazi ukuzibuyisela endaweni yakho yokubekezelelana, uqinisa ukuqina kwakho. Ngokubekezela, ukubekezela kanye nokwesekwa okulungile, ungakwazi ukunqoba imiphumela yangemuvaukuhlukunyezwa kwe-narcissistic futhi sakhe ukuphila okwanelisayo, ngaphandle kwethonya lako elinobuthi.

Unamandla kunalokho okucabangayo. Nsuku zonke yithuba elisha lokuphinda uxhumane nawe futhi uthole kabusha inani lakho langaphakathi. Kholelwa emandleni akho okuphulukisa nokuchuma. Iwindi lakho lokubekezelelana lizokhula, futhi ngalo, amathuba amasha azovulelwa impilo egcwele ukuthula, ubuqiniso nenjabulo.