Ukuvinjwa ngokweemvakalelo kubudlelwane kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator

Ubudlelwane kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator bunokonakalisa kakhulu, ngokuphindaphindiweyo ukushiya ixhoba kwimeko yobunzima obunzulu beemvakalelo. Eli nqaku liphonononga iindlela zolu kusilela kwaye linikezela ngeendlela zokuzikhulula kuyo.

Iimpawu zokusilela ngokweemvakalelo kubudlelwane obuyityhefu

Ukuvinjwa ngokweemvakalelo kuzibonakalisa ngeendlela ezininzi kubudlelwane kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator:

• Uhlala uziva ngathi awukho mhle ngokwaneleyo
• Iimfuno zakho ezingokweemvakalelo azihoywa okanye ziyagculelwa
• Uhlala uziva uwedwa, naphambi kweqabane lakho
• Uziva ngathi ungu- uhamba ngamaqokobhe amaqanda kwaye uhlala ukhusela
• Ukuzithemba kwakho kuye kwehla kakhulu ukusukela ekuqaleni kobudlelwane.

Ukuba uyaziqonda wena kwezi mpawu, kusenokwenzeka ukuba unengxaki yokuphazamiseka ngokweemvakalelo ngenxa ye-manipulative behavior yeqabane lakho.

I-narcissistic manipulator izisebenzisa njani iimfuno zakho zeemvakalelo?

I-narcissistic manipulator yinkosi kubugcisa bokubona kunye nokuxhaphaza iziphene zeemvakalelo zamaxhoba akhe. Nanga amanye amaqhinga akhe:

• Uyatshintshana phakathi kwezigaba zokuhenda kakhulu kunye nokuchaswa ngenkohlakalo, ukudala i-ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo
• Uzenza ngathi uyakunika uthando nembeko oyifunayo, engakhange akunike.
• Unciphisa iimvakalelo kunye neemfuno zakho, ekwenza ukuba uthandabuze ukuba semthethweni kwazo
• Ikwahlukanisa nabo basondeleyo kuwe, ibe ngumthombo wakho kuphela wokuqinisekisa ngokweemvakalelo
• Igcina imo yokungakhuseleki ngokweemvakalelo ngokusisigxina, ikugcina ukwimeko yokuba sesichengeni

Oku kuxhaphaza ukusilela kwakho ngokweemvakalelo kumvumela ukuba agcine ulawulo phezu kwakho kwaye anelise imfuno yakhe enganelisekiyo yokuhoywa nokunconywa.

Imiphumo ebuhlungu yokuphelelwa lixesha ngokweemvakalelo

Ukuba ishiywe ingaphathwa, ukuvinjwa ngokweemvakalelo kunokuba nemiphumo emibi kwimpilo kunye nempilo yakho:

• Ukudakumba okungapheliyo kunye nokuxhalaba
• Ukuphazamiseka kokutya okanye iziyobisi ezahlukeneyo
• Ubunzima bokudala unxibelelwano oluphilileyo, oluhlala luhleli
• Ukuphulukana ngokupheleleyo nokuzithemba kwisiqu sakho nakwabanye
• Ukuziva ungento yanto ngaphakathi kunye nokuphelelwa lithemba

Kubalulekile ke ngoko ukuba kuthathwe amanyathelo phambi kokuba ezi ziphumo zingabi nakuguqulwa.

Qaphela kwaye uthintele amaqhinga okulawula iimvakalelo

Ukuzikhusela, kubalulekile ukufunda ukuchonga iindlela zokukhohlisa ze-narcissistic manipulator:

• Uthando lwebhombu: i-avalanche yengqwalasela kunye nothando ekuqaleni kobudlelwane
• gaslighting: ukwenza ukuba uyithandabuze imbono yakho ngobunyani
• Unxantathu: ukudala umona ngokubandakanya umntu wesithathu
• Unyango oluthulile: ukuzohlwaya ngokuthula nokungakhathali
• Izithembiso zobuxoki: ukwenza ngaphandle kokuligcina ilizwi lakho

Ngokuwaqonda la maqhinga, uya kukulungela ngakumbi ukuxhathisa nokugcina ingqibelelo yakho ngokweemvakalelo.

Iingenelo zonyango lokunyanga amanxeba eemvakalelo

Inkxaso yonyango inokuba luncedo olukhulu ekoyiseni ukusilela kwakho ngokweemvakalelo:

• therapy unyango lwengqondo-yokuziphatha ukutshintsha iipatheni zakho zokucinga
• I-EMDR ukunyanga ukwenzakala okunxulumene nobudlelwane obuyityhefu
• Unyango lwenkqubo ukuqonda amandla akho obudlelwane
• Unyango lobuGcisa lokubonisa iimvakalelo zakho ngendlela enobuchule
• Amaqela enkxaso ukwabelana ngamava akho namanye amaxhoba

Zive ukhululekile ukuhlola iindlela ezahlukeneyo ukuze ufumane eyona ikusebenzela ngcono.

Zikhulule kumjikelo wokuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo

Ukushiya ubudlelwane kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator kunokuba ngumthombo wokwenyani weemvakalelo. Nazi ezinye izicwangciso-qhinga zokuhlangabezana nayo:

• Luqhawule lonke unxibelelwano neqabane lakho langaphambili (akukho mnxibelelwano)
• Fumana imisebenzi enempilo yokulawula iminqweno kunye noxinzelelo
• Joyina amaqela enkxaso kwi-intanethi okanye ngokobuqu
• Ziqhelanise neendlela zokulawula uxinzelelo njengokuphefumla nzulu
• Gxininisa ekukhuleni kwakho kunye nezicwangciso zexesha elizayo

Ngexesha kunye nokunyamezela, uya kuzikhulula kobu bukhoboka buyingozi.

I-Bibliographic reference malunga nokuvinjwa ngokweemvakalelo

Nazi iimbekiselo ezisixhenxe zebhayibhili kumxholo “wokuvinjwa ngokweemvakalelo”:

1. Sroufe, L. A. (1996). Emotional development: The organization of emotional life in the early years. Paris: Presses Universitaires de France.
2. Rochette, L. (2011). La carence affective et ses conséquences sur le développement de l’enfant. In Psychologie de l’enfant et de l’adolescent (pp. 45-67). Paris: Dunod.
3. Bowlby, J. (1980). La perte et le deuil. Paris: Éditions Odile Jacob.
4. Lévy, J. (2007). Les troubles de l’attachement chez l’enfant. Paris: Éditions In Press.
5. Guillaumin, M. (2014). Les enjeux de la carence affective dans le cadre des relations parent-enfant. Revue de Psychologie 2(1), 33-47.
6. Perrin, J. (2013). La carence affective chez l’enfant: compréhension et prise en charge. Enfance 1(3), 203-216.
7. Pichot, P. (2008). La psychologie de l’attachement et ses applications cliniques. Revue française de psychologie 3(4), 211-229.

Ezi mbekiselo ziya kukunika isiseko esiluqilima sokuqonda imiba kunye neziphumo zokuvinjwa ngokweemvakalelo.

Ukusingise kubomi beemvakalelo obuzalisekileyo nobulungelelanisiweyo

Emva kokoyisa ukusilela kwakho ngokweemvakalelo, ekugqibeleni uya kukwazi ukwakha ubudlelwane obunempilo nobanelisayo:

• Khetha amaqabane akuhloniphayo kwaye axabise iimpawu zakho
• Hlakulela ukuxhomekeka komnye umntu kunokuxhomekeka kwizinto ezixhomekeke kuwe
• Thetha ngokukhululekileyo malunga neemvakalelo kunye neemfuno zakho
• Gcina ulungelelwaniso phakathi kothando, ubuhlobo kunye nobomi bomntu
• Qhubeka nokusebenza kuphuhliso lwakho lomntu

Ngokuzikhathalela kwaye uhlale uphaphile, ekugqibeleni uya kukwazi ukufumana uthando ngendlela enempilo nenelisayo.

Khumbula: ufanelwe kukuthandwa, ukuhlonelwa nokuxatyiswa. Ungaze uvumele nabani na akwenze ukholelwe ngenye indlela kwakhona. Indlela yakho yokuphiliswa ngokweemvakalelo inokuba nde, kodwa inyathelo ngalinye likusondeza kubomi obonwabisayo nobunentsingiselo. Kholelwa kuwe nakukwazi kwakho ukoyisa le ngxaki. Ikamva elingcono likulindile.