Ukukhohlisa kwikamva: xa umntu okhohlisayo ekuthengisela ikamva elingasokuze libekho

Inkcazo: future faking (“ubuxoki ngekamva”) ibandakanya ikamva elithembisayo eliqaqambileyo – umtshato, indlu, uhambo, ubomi obugqibeleleyo – ngaphandle kwenjongo yokuyiqonda, kuphela ukubamba enye into eqhotyoshelweyo. Yintsika yenkohliso ye-narcissistic manipulator: akathengisi into ayiyo, uthengisa oko you dream.

Indlela: ukwenza ukuba utyale imali kwixesha elizayo kunangoku

Ubuxoki bexesha elizayo busebenzisa amandla omntu: ithemba. Ngokuthetha “ngendlu yethu”, “abantwana bethu”, “xa sikhula kunye”, i-narcissistic manipulator ifaka ikamva elifanayo kwingcinga yakho. Elikamva liba yi-asethi ongafuniyo ukuphulukana nayo – kunye neyona ndlela ifanelekileyo yokunikezela izipho: “yithwala le nto, yeyeprojekthi yethu.” Okukhona utyale imali ephupheni, kokukhona kubiza kakhulu ukuvuma ukuba akusayi kuze kufike. Lulwandiso lwendalo lwe-mirroring kunye nothando lokuqhubhisa ibhombu: okokuqala lubonakalisa wena, emva koko lubonisa ikamva lakho elifanelekileyo.

Izithembiso eziqhelekileyo

• “Kunyaka ozayo, sithenga indlu ngaselwandle.”
• “Ndiza kutshintsha, uyabona, siya konwaba.” »
• “Ndiqhawula umtshato kungekudala, yiba nomonde.” (isicelo asizange sifakwe)
• “Siza kuba nomntwana xa ndingenaxinzelelo oluncinci.”
• “Ndikuthatha uhambo lwakho lokuzalwa lwe-40th.” (uhambo lusahlehlisiwe)

Uvavanyo lwexesha: isithembiso ngokuchasene nenyani

Utyikityo lwexesha elizayo yi-gap phakathi kwezibhengezo kunye nempumelelo. Iqabane elinyanisekileyo lisenokuba lisemva kwizithembiso zalo; i-narcissistic manipulator akaze athabathe inyathelo eliya phambili – ngelixa izithembiso zakhe zikhula. Gcina ijenali elula: oko kwathethwayo, kwenziwa ntoni. Iinyanga ezintathu zale diary ngokubanzi zanele ukwenza isigqibo. Kwakhona nikela ingqalelo ekudibaniseni kunye ne-intermittent reinforcement: isithembiso esigcinwe amaxesha ngamaxesha – ngokwaneleyo – siqala kwakhona umatshini wethemba lonke.

Ukuphilisa ikamva faking

Emva kokwahlukana, ixhoba lihlala likhala “ubomi ebesiya kuba nabo”. Luhlobo olukhethekileyo lokuzila: uzilela into eyakhe yabakho ngamazwi. Ukuyiqonda kubuhlungu, kwaye kuyakhulula: awuphulukananga nekamva lakho, usindile kwimeko. I-healing emva kwe-PN ibandakanya oku kuzila – kwaye ngokuphinda ufunde ukugweba abantu ngezenzo zabo, kungekhona ngamazwi abo.

Inkcazelo esuka kwi-Glossary ye-narcissistic pervert.